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71 Toes/Eyre Family
August 21, 2014
5:40 pm
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Pray the Eh Away
Hamcat
Meows: 174
Snarking Since:
April 22, 2014

MAKERS AND ARTISANS AND ELVES said
The timing for China definitely seems really really weird. Living abroad is such a great experience, especially with kids, but I can't believe they're doing it NOW

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm feeling heartbroken for the kids in this scenario. In most other cases I would be all for it, but this just seems chaotic and sad and poorly planned. 

It's funny too because they have traveled quite a bit, and they could travel anytime in the future if they wanted to, anywhere in the world. This is obviously a huge dream come true for Shawni, but I bet her and Dave will go on a mission when they're older (retired), so couldn't that be her moment? And they are just finishing building a house. Whoa. 

re: Charity's post about the boy. Yikes. They have no other option than to to make it work, despite the crazy red flags. I wish them all the best, but things are moving really fast, and Charity's (and the boy's, too) desperation kind of shines through (sorry). She heard a Coldplay song and felt that this was the right person for her? I don't know. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship, let alone marry someone, that requires miracles and pushing and pulling and having faith and so on. Relationships are complicated and there are a lot of emotions involved, as well as many ups and downs, but her post made me go uh. Good luck. 

(ETA because somewhat relevant. Me and my "boy" (ugh) have been together for almost 4 years. After the first year, we broke up for a very short period of time. It was heartbreaking and horrible, but things worked out. The first few months after getting back together were so emotional and lovey-dovey that I could've married him on the spot. It was the second honeymoon phase, even though we were only separated for a really short time. I'm so glad we are taking our time to experience the realities of being with someone and living with someone. It's all good, but I'm so so so happy we didn't get married. It would've been an irrational decision even though I think we'll end up married someday. I think this is exactly what Charity and they boy are going through: a rush to "fix" everything and get married, and be happy forever, and just live in a crazy love bubble that will burst and/or change its form – like it does in any relationship. It's sad that they are in a hurry because that's what their religion promotes. I'm so grateful me and my man are taking our time.)

 

Yeah I really really don't understand the timing either, it just seems pretty nuts and unfair. Like the parents can go on a mission later, and most of the kids probably will too so, I don't know why Shawni feels the need to turn her kid's lives upside down at such a crucial juncture (for Lucy, with her disabilities and Max, with college stuff, especially).

 

And Charity and the "boy", in a secular relationship they WOULD be able to take their time but their religion is really expediting things and causing them to interpret what I would call "thoughts" into messages directly from God about the divine nature of their relationship. Like being in a really good relationship for five years now, one thing I've learned about love? Sure there are challenges but it should never be forced. Like in regards to Charity and "the boy", you have to try so hard, it's probably NOT the real deal.

Suzy Bishop said

MAKERS AND ARTISANS AND ELVES said

Is that the school her brother started? Shawni writes about their brother's school on the blog sometimes. idontknow

Her brother's school is just the school he works for. And…What's up w him? Oldest of the siblings, no partner, no family? In other worlds, that would not be a big deal, but in their world, that's one of those things that make you go hmmmmm.

I suspect he is perhaps gay or asexual. I don't really like speculating on people's sexuality but in a culture that marriage obsessed it's really one of the few plausible explanations. Plus doctrinally,  mormons don't really mind gay mormons so much as being ACTIVELY gay and gay relationships (that is their company line, though)

formerly alisonwonderland
August 21, 2014
6:02 pm
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notfunnyhaha
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 705
Snarking Since:
April 11, 2014

Holy moly. I just got sucked into 71Toes' Home Blog….and wow. Then her regular blog. And then her sister's blog. So pretty much I've had a productive Thursday. haha

I hope Max has a friend, or even the Uncle that's not married, that will offer to take him in and not go to China with the rest of the family. I think THAT will be an experience for him that's worthwhile and will prepare him for his inevitable mission.

I don't understand putting so much into a house and then leaving it for 6 months right as it's done. This seems like something that would have been better to do a few years ago.

August 21, 2014
8:36 pm
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Scampson Wrecks Derpis
Hamcat
Meows: 197
Snarking Since:
January 6, 2013

I also find the timing SO weird.  Especially since she posted saying the children were back in school.  So they're in a school for a few weeks and you are going to pull them out to go to China? Why even start the school year?

August 21, 2014
8:55 pm
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Sr. Patricia Whitman
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 475
Snarking Since:
March 8, 2014

I respect them for it. I spent my junior year at a foreign school, and although it was hard and sucked at times, it made me a stronger and more open-minded person. We traveled a lot before then, but it did not compare to going to school and living every day there. It sounds corny, but by the time I went back to my old school for senior year, I realized what was important and what was just stupid drama. Then again, I was not with my family, so I had a lot of lonely hours to think. But still, just getting out of their Mormon bubble will be good.

August 21, 2014
9:59 pm
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ringo
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 343
Snarking Since:
May 11, 2012

Well, I'm not worried about Elle and dating. Elle is going to be fine. Max is an issue. It seems really hard. Volleyball. College tours. How does that all work? I guess I didn't realize going on a mission was a possibility straight out of high schools. She's always been very gung ho about the cousin at Stanford etc etc.

And it's turning this upside down for a semester? That's nothing. I mean, they could have gone this summer for 3 months, maybe missed a month of school and been right back on track. Going sept-December seems like a lot of work for not much "immersion". I've lived abroad with kids and it takes 6 months just to figure out how to get insurance and which milk is the kind you like.

OTOH, if I had a 7yo who was going to be blind before she was 9 (or whatever) and I had money, I'd be packing in some sights. Maybe more london and Paris and Rome, but whatever.

August 21, 2014
10:38 pm
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JaviSeaSalt
Hamcat
Meows: 197
Snarking Since:
May 12, 2014

Max is going to go on a mission when he turns 18 so I don't think college really matters, despite them acting like he is going to college.

Also, if Shawni and her husband go on a mission when they are older, they don't get to choose where they go. Now they get a say, so they are taking it.

The kids will live, even the 16 year old.

August 22, 2014
8:09 am
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andrea27
Kitten
Meows: 7
Snarking Since:
November 15, 2013

I love 71 Toes. It's the only blog I check on a daily basis. I teared up a little bit while reading yesterday's post because I felt so bad for Elle. However, I think in the grand scheme of things it will be a great experience for everyone. Furthermore, they will be attending an international (or maybe even American) school in Shanghai so I am sure Elle will be able to find some boys to date/kiss. One of my friends moved with her family to Seoul from Florida for her senior year and had a blast. The experience for Max and Elle will be what they make of it! 

My heart does break a bit for Shawni when I see all of the mean comments on her posts. Particularly from "Madam Queen" and "kms". Just so judgey wudgey and always offering unsolicited advice. I think it's important to remember that Shawni treats a lot of her posts like a private journal, she's just nice enough to share her inner most thoughts with all of her internet fans. I don't really think that it's fair to criticize her decision when she's really only writing down all of the details and everyone's reaction to help her document and understand the situation.

Anyway, I don't want to come across as one of Shawni's famous comment section defenders, but she is definitely SOMI in my opinion. Even though I'm a 23 year old non-mormon who does a LOT of things that Shawni and her religion wouldn't approve of and really has no use for all of her parenting advice, I find her really inspiring and motivating. I like her don't give up/do whatever it takes attitude.

Charity on the other hand…ugh. GOMI.

August 22, 2014
10:14 am
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JerseySnore
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 203
Snarking Since:
March 9, 2012

Yeah, maybe she wants to get a big international family trip in before L loses her sight entirely. And I'm sure the money will be there to fly some/all of them back for Charity's wedding.  And the kids will get through it because they have no choice.

Speaking of her comments I hate when her uberMormon commenters criticize the clothes that E wears for not being modest enough. The girl has to be close to 6' tall and lives in Arizona. Her shorts and sleeveless tops are not going to be the undoing of society. 

And I'm dangerously close to being a WK, so I'll stop now.

August 22, 2014
11:34 am
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Pray the Eh Away
Hamcat
Meows: 174
Snarking Since:
April 22, 2014

andrea27 said
I love 71 Toes. It's the only blog I check on a daily basis. I teared up a little bit while reading yesterday's post because I felt so bad for Elle. However, I think in the grand scheme of things it will be a great experience for everyone. Furthermore, they will be attending an international (or maybe even American) school in Shanghai so I am sure Elle will be able to find some boys to date/kiss. One of my friends moved with her family to Seoul from Florida for her senior year and had a blast. The experience for Max and Elle will be what they make of it! 

My heart does break a bit for Shawni when I see all of the mean comments on her posts. Particularly from "Madam Queen" and "kms". Just so judgey wudgey and always offering unsolicited advice. I think it's important to remember that Shawni treats a lot of her posts like a private journal, she's just nice enough to share her inner most thoughts with all of her internet fans. I don't really think that it's fair to criticize her decision when she's really only writing down all of the details and everyone's reaction to help her document and understand the situation.

Anyway, I don't want to come across as one of Shawni's famous comment section defenders, but she is definitely SOMI in my opinion. Even though I'm a 23 year old non-mormon who does a LOT of things that Shawni and her religion wouldn't approve of and really has no use for all of her parenting advice, I find her really inspiring and motivating. I like her don't give up/do whatever it takes attitude.

Charity on the other hand…ugh. GOMI.

Although I started this thread, I genuinely enjoy Shawni's blog and especially after today's post where she clarified a bunch of things, it all made more sense. I do like how she treats her blog like a diary and it is very candid. I also find her can-do attitude really inspiring, though she has had the privilege of being able to live out many of her dreams and experience a lot of things. 

Also I hadn't realized Lucy's vision would be completely GONE so soon, so I can understand why they really want to do this.

formerly alisonwonderland
August 22, 2014
12:37 pm
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The Real Tami Taylor
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 800
Snarking Since:
May 30, 2014

I thought she was nuts yesterday from her post, but then read it today and I'm much more excited for them.  (Like my opinion matters one little bit…)  

I think 4 months will be next to nothing for the girls and it will be a way for Lucy especially to see more of the world.  I'm sure Elle will stay tight with her friends and I highly doubt she will really miss out on all that much.  

If Elle and Max are committed to their sports, they will find a way to stay relevant, even if it's just skill and conditioning.  I think Shawni said both her and Max's seasons start after they return.  My biggest concern would be Max and his scholarship or sports opportunities IF that is what he chooses.  I'd be making sure those doors stay open.  

I wish them luck and hope they have a fabulous time.

Formerly Something Similar To...
August 22, 2014
12:58 pm
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The Real Tami Taylor
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 800
Snarking Since:
May 30, 2014

I also think her unmarried brother is just a quiet guy living his life and hasn't gotten married yet.  I don't think he's gay.  I imagine there are a lot of spotlights in that family and IMO he just likes to stay out of them.

Formerly Something Similar To...
August 22, 2014
2:44 pm
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MAKERS AND ARTISANS AND ELVES
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 703
Snarking Since:
April 5, 2014

The teenagers will be fine socially. They're both very active on Twitter, and they'll make lots of friends in the international school. And they'll only be gone for 4 months. I definitely get what Shawni was saying about how they reacted to the news, and how most teenagers wouldn't be to crazy about the idea. They'll be fine and they'll look back and appreciate the experience.

Max's college stuff was my main concern, and I still think this move adds extra chaos to a time in his life that can get pretty chaotic in itself. I also feel a little sad that they just built a fancy house, a "hangout place for teenagers", and Max doesn't get to enjoy it that much before he leaves for college/mission.

Lucy worries me, but she will be taken care of, and I understand that why the family would want to do something like this before her vision is all gone. How heartbreaking by the way. sf-cry Grace and Claire will just go with the flow, they're in a good age for something like this. 

 

ps. This family's internet presence is so fascinating/addicting. The blogs just suck me in even though I'm definitely not in the demographic at all. I get they're doing the Mormon journaling thing, but I have to admit: these people sure can make everything look picturesque and beautiful while still remaining candid and somewhat real. A total guilty pleasure of mine, that no one can ever find out about. embarrassed 

August 22, 2014
6:51 pm
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JaviSeaSalt
Hamcat
Meows: 197
Snarking Since:
May 12, 2014

Andrea, don't forget that Shawni is an adult who is posting journal like entries on the internet herself. No one posted them without her permission. If Shawni needs the validation, instead of just writing her thoughts in a journal, then she needs to be open to the criticism.

Charity has another post up, all about how difficult planning weddings are. This is the worst part:

"i am more in love with the boy every single day. we think about things so wildly differently, and we have dissimilar priorities on some (doesn't-really-matter) stuff. we are learning how to be together. it's hard and also really really awesome."

Sure those dissimilar priorities are things that don't really matter. That's why you are bringing them up. What a sad situation. She keeps going on about how good it is that things are hard. frown

I think this whole family's need for attention and quest to make it look like their lives are so perfect is frightening. And LDS propaganda. I don't think they come across as candid or real at all. How can anyone be candid on a blog?



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