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Art of making a baby
February 26, 2012
10:55 pm
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http://prebabyblog.com/2012/02/alexis-month-1-postpartum-update/

God I can't stand her. I've actually defended her before but f**k. The 2 week pp picture, the perfect recovery, the bragging about what an amazingly brilliant and advanced baby Alexis is?! F**k you you holier than thou super douche.

February 26, 2012
11:30 pm
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sweatyleather
Hamcat
Meows: 92
Snarking Since:
December 29, 2011

"I have never in my life had a fat roll on my stomach when sitting down. It’s not necessarily my “accomplishment”, to be honest- it’s that my body just doesn’t store fat in my stomach area."

"It’s really not THAT hard, taking care of a newborn. They have limited needs and desires and all you have to do is cater to them."

I want to kick her. Please? Mother, may I?

February 27, 2012
12:04 am
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Brainpan Whimsical
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 565
Snarking Since:
September 19, 2011

I am sorely tempted to comment on her latest entry and say: "but your lovely freckles that have been in your instagram photos? Wherever did they go? I mean cause you never photoshop like you said…"

February 27, 2012
1:06 am
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pumpkin head
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 614
Snarking Since:
February 26, 2012

Yeah, that post brings the bile up pretty strongly.

I love that she basically won the jackpot of post-pregnancy bodies and still I get the feeling she's a lot more worried about her physical shape and weight than she makes out. The fact that she's mentioned getting back into shape and working out so many times already in the few posts since Alexis came along speaks volumes. I am basically 50% stretchmark and excess skin right now and I couldn't give a shit – that was kind of part and parcel of the whole pregnancy dealio, and even thinking about exercise is too much like hard work. It doesn't help that my baby didn't sail out of my wondrously elastic hoo-hoo on magically-evaporating lochia made of sunshine and fuschia glitter, either, so I'm still waiting for stitches to finish dissolving and the ache to fade.

I'm calling bullshit on the difficulty 'teaching' and 'training' the baby to latch better – the baby KNOWS how to latch… it basically consists of 'open mouth, clamp down, ready the suction'. Unless there's a physical issue (tongue tie, poor muscle tone, etc) it's the mother that has the learning to do to get the latch right. Positioning, timing and being prepared to jam that baby on is the challenge.

"Of course, as soon as you introduce an “extra wrinkle”, things can become hard to handle physically and emotionally: twins, health issues, difficult recovery, single mom, no family around, another kid, having to go back to work."
How would she know… ??
She's had her husband home the whole time AND a live-in domestic help aka her mother. She doesn't even have a realistic idea of what it's like to look after a baby in a normal situation, with a working partner, let alone any experience of any of the other circumstances she says can make it hard to handle.

And her 'mommy and me AND YOUR CREEPY DEAD EYED FATHER' baths kind of creep me out. She lays in the bath with the baby on her and the husband does the washing… what's wrong with, like, supporting the baby with one hand while you wash her with the other? :x I get in the bath with my 3 week old too and the only part which is a two person job is when I need to hand the baby out to my husband, because I have horrendous visuals of going arse over tit while trying to get up and dropping her. Maybe it's just because her husband is so offputting though…

Also I'm not sure if it's just because Alexis is the product of such a douchenozzle, but I really don't think she's very cute :( and at the moment I'll coo over ANYTHING so it's really weird for me to go "Aww a 3 week ol… hurgh." *shrug*

February 27, 2012
1:49 am
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The Butter Family

I don't know if it will stay, but someone left a comment that her experience regarding her body and told her that the bounce back isn't unique. I agree. I'd never post pictures of my post-partum belly on the internet. I think that's weird and braggy. Also, who the f**k cares?

I think it's funny how she's saying that taking care of a newborn isn't "THAT HARD" when two weeks ago she went on and on about how it's so much harderEmbarassed for her than anyone else.

I'm just sick of the nonsense that everything is omg so much harder for her and every other mommy blogger out there. But they got pregnant so easily and are so thin because of how hard (HARD) they work, y'all!

I bet $5 that she had an epidural. Why the f**k else would the birth story take this long?EmbarassedCoolLaughSurprisedWink

February 27, 2012
9:32 am
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sowhatimbitter said

I don't know if it will stay, but someone left a comment that her experience regarding her body and told her that the bounce back isn't unique. I agree. I'd never post pictures of my post-partum belly on the internet. I think that's weird and braggy. Also, who the f**k cares?

I think it's funny how she's saying that taking care of a newborn isn't "THAT HARD" when two weeks ago she went on and on about how it's so much harderEmbarassed for her than anyone else.

I'm just sick of the nonsense that everything is omg so much harder for her and every other mommy blogger out there. But they got pregnant so easily and are so thin because of how hard (HARD) they work, y'all!

I bet $5 that she had an epidural. Why the f**k else would the birth story take this long?EmbarassedCoolLaughSurprisedWink

Don't forget that she didn't have the "typical 6 hour labor." Her birth experience was magical and unique, and it's going to take her so long (so many pictuuuuuures) to perfect it for all of us readers.

February 27, 2012
10:04 am
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JW

This chick annoys the hell out of me. Really, bragging about how you love your fat roll? Oh and your baby isn't smiling at you, its a reflex or she has gas. Two week olds don't smile in response to people. They also don't try to talk.

February 27, 2012
11:24 am
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the.pluot
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 304
Snarking Since:
February 25, 2012

She's totally sucking in her stomach in those new body shots.

February 27, 2012
1:43 pm
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Do it!

I am sorely tempted to comment on her latest entry and say: "but your lovely freckles that have been in your instagram photos? Wherever did they go? I mean cause you never photoshop like you said…"

February 27, 2012
2:30 pm
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DeservingPorcupine
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 323
Snarking Since:
February 6, 2012

Her first update is about her body. I mean, there's no hiding how self-absorbed she is, is there? I've searched the far reaches of my brain and cannot think of a single reason to shoot my stomach two weeks after I had a baby. I mean, sure, mine looks like Freddie Kurger attacked an old man's ass but seriously. I want to kick her in her newborn fat roll. TWEE!

Her baby is NOT cooing either. She is NOT smiling when she enters the room. Why all the lies Elena? WHY???

February 27, 2012
3:30 pm
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Angel

At this point its pretty obvious that even if something negative happened or is going on, she isn't going to be honest about it on her blog. A week ago, she was struggling and now "newborns are easy." Ok. I just like her so much more when she is honest and real-I can relate to her heartfelt posts from right after Alexis was born but now it looks like the old, self-obsessed, smug Elena is creeping back in.Confused

February 27, 2012
5:17 pm
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pearls_clutched
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 888
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2012

Woah! I've never read a blog like this. That woman is a piece of work! Does she do something with their photos to make their eyes look like they are part of some kind of whacked out cult? Maybe it's a "I'm the most self-absorbed person to live" kind of cult.

The hospital pictures she posted nearly killed me.

Love GOMI – so much fun to read what I've been thinking about these bloggers.

February 28, 2012
4:17 am
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Horrificat: Chickenhead Skeezer
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1099
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2012

she posted post birth pictures of her body WEARING A FLIPPING SPORTS BRA and of course sans photoshop. She probably uses a different editing software just so she can say she never "photoshops". You know her birth story is taking so long because she is busy erasing all signs of sweat, wrinkles or uglies from them.

Horrificat is Whorrificat whore@gmail.com


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