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Hey Natalie Jean / Nat The Fat Rat II
January 2, 2017
6:06 pm
avatar
#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13477
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

myfakie meowed
She could've simply said NO to Idaho. If my husband wanted to move to a small, boring town with little to no opportunities and I knew that I'd be miserable, I'd say so and demand a compromise. 

[Not saying that the Idaho move was the reason for them breaking up but it would have been a huge factor - especially since she wrote about crying all the way there. Also, she seems like a complete nightmare. I'd hate to be associated with her, let alone married. Ugh.]

How does she say no though?  She couldn't just stay where she was because she couldn't afford it (and with his move, neither probably could he).  I think she'd move near her family in a heartbeat if it weren't for Huck.

I mean, I think that if one spouse is so strongly opposed to something, that the other should consider that.  That's where I think Brandon was probably an asshole.  I'll bet he was going to move there no matter what.  

I always thought they made a deal that went something like this.  Natalie could live in the Brooklyn loft for a year and go on her European book tour and when that was done they'd move to the boondocks.  

January 2, 2017
6:36 pm
avatar
myfakie
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 508
Snarking Since:
March 22, 2012

DENNIS W and deep twerk – I hear ya! I don't know if her NO would get her anywhere but I'm going by my world and we would somehow reach a solution that we were both happy with, even if it meant Idaho for a year or two and then perhaps move again? I think you'd be able to put up with something if you could see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thing is, she basically told us the reason she was dumped and it had nothing to do with compromise/Idaho (assuming she's being honest)…

January 2, 2017
6:39 pm
avatar
#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13477
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

myfakie meowed
DENNIS W and deep twerk – I hear ya! I don't know if her NO would get her anywhere but I'm going by my world and we would somehow reach a solution that we were both happy with, even if it meant Idaho for a year or two and then perhaps move again? I think you'd be able to put up with something if you could see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thing is, she basically told us the reason she was dumped and it had nothing to do with compromise/Idaho (assuming she's being honest)…

Natalie was never known for her honesty.  

January 2, 2017
8:54 pm
avatar
Cronut Flan
Hamcat
Meows: 182
Snarking Since:
October 12, 2014

W/r/t my earlier comment, I don't think Brandon had this all planned out before they left NYC or anything—I want to be clear about that. That doesn't negate the fact that he holds all the cards (steady income, lots of higher education, where her opportunities are more provisional and haphazard), which makes his breaking up with Nat in Idaho particularly shitty for her. I have no doubt that her brand of crazy contributed mightily to the breakup, just observing that it's unfortunate for her that it unravelled at the time and in the place it did—and I do sympathize with that.

January 2, 2017
10:34 pm
avatar
okthen
Hamcat
Meows: 99
Snarking Since:
September 12, 2016

^this is the 21st century. She chose to forgo higher education and a work history. The situation she's in is 100% her own fault. The mindset of getting married = getting a free ride in life hasn't been relevant since the 1950's.

January 2, 2017
10:49 pm
avatar
Cronut Flan
Hamcat
Meows: 182
Snarking Since:
October 12, 2014

^^100% agree that spouses do not owe each other anything approaching a free ride. In terms of empathy, I think there was a point where N had a decent readership/cashflow and thought that might continue? Our ideas about how to make life work evolve over time. This seems like a pretty brutal evolution for her—that's all I'm saying.

January 2, 2017
10:54 pm
avatar
notfunnyhaha
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 763
Snarking Since:
April 11, 2014

myfakie meowed

Ugly American Tourist meowed
 

TL;DR Nat is liar and I give ZERO f**kS that her house of cards finally fell. 

 

/EndRant

 

bandwagon

Yep. I just don't sympathize with her and I don't think Brandon is the asshole in all this. Nat didn't get a higher education, she squandered opportunities and money, and now her life is in shambles. Shit happens. Buck up and get your life together. If not for you, for Huck.

And I'm not a heartless b***h. I've been left by a spouse. Divorce wasn't my choice but like a pp said, good marriages don't fail. She can either wallow and b***h and moan or actually do something. While I feel bad for Huck because divorce sucks for kids, I don't feel bad for Nat. She will forever be a victim and she won't learn or grow from this. It's just sad at this stage in her life she can't actually function as an adult.

January 3, 2017
3:01 am
avatar
wolf in sheeples clothing
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 362
Snarking Since:
September 20, 2014

derp twerk meowed

myfakie meowed
She could've simply said NO to Idaho. If my husband wanted to move to a small, boring town with little to no opportunities and I knew that I'd be miserable, I'd say so and demand a compromise. 

[Not saying that the Idaho move was the reason for them breaking up but it would have been a huge factor - especially since she wrote about crying all the way there. Also, she seems like a complete nightmare. I'd hate to be associated with her, let alone married. Ugh.]

How does she say no though?  She couldn't just stay where she was because she couldn't afford it (and with his move, neither probably could he).  I think she'd move near her family in a heartbeat if it weren't for Huck.

I mean, I think that if one spouse is so strongly opposed to something, that the other should consider that.  That's where I think Brandon was probably an asshole.  I'll bet he was going to move there no matter what.  

I always thought they made a deal that went something like this.  Natalie could live in the Brooklyn loft for a year and go on her European book tour and when that was done they'd move to the boondocks.  

I could see her initially agreeing/being talked into Idaho, but by the time the move came she already regretted it. On paper it maybe seemed like a great idea- certainly for Holbs and Huck- and I know from experience how easy it is to think 'well, I can adapt. This will be good for my family, and I'm putting them first.'

Formerly Soupy Scones/ Cornmeal Whore
January 3, 2017
6:32 am
avatar
#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13477
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

wolf in sheeples clothing meowed

derp twerk meowed

myfakie meowed
She could've simply said NO to Idaho. If my husband wanted to move to a small, boring town with little to no opportunities and I knew that I'd be miserable, I'd say so and demand a compromise. 

[Not saying that the Idaho move was the reason for them breaking up but it would have been a huge factor - especially since she wrote about crying all the way there. Also, she seems like a complete nightmare. I'd hate to be associated with her, let alone married. Ugh.]

How does she say no though?  She couldn't just stay where she was because she couldn't afford it (and with his move, neither probably could he).  I think she'd move near her family in a heartbeat if it weren't for Huck.

I mean, I think that if one spouse is so strongly opposed to something, that the other should consider that.  That's where I think Brandon was probably an asshole.  I'll bet he was going to move there no matter what.  

I always thought they made a deal that went something like this.  Natalie could live in the Brooklyn loft for a year and go on her European book tour and when that was done they'd move to the boondocks.  

I could see her initially agreeing/being talked into Idaho, but by the time the move came she already regretted it. On paper it maybe seemed like a great idea- certainly for Holbs and Huck- and I know from experience how easy it is to think 'well, I can adapt. This will be good for my family, and I'm putting them first.'

Didn't she live there before, though?  But you're probably right, either way she probably thought she could handle it.  

January 3, 2017
8:31 am
avatar
I LOVE YOU DENNIS WEAVER!
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 8354
Snarking Since:
November 13, 2013

Yes, she and Brandon lived in Moscow previously and it wasn't all doom and gloom and unhappiness based on her blog posts of that time. However, that was at a very different period of her life (no children, still active with the church, younger, etc). 

When she announced the move, she was very manic sounding as though she was trying to convince herself as well as her followers that this was a good thing. But I think it broke her heart not so much to move to Idaho as to leave her beloved NYC.  She kind of came of age during her time in the city. She left the church (which didn't shock me) and she seemed to be grasping at her personality, trying one on and discarding it for another. I think she felt she was finally coming into her own and going to be able to enjoy her life as a creative hipster cool girl only to have it swept out from under her. Only, she wasn't becoming anything but a washed up blogger who blew one too many opportunities to be able to justify staying in such an expensive area when she wasn't contributing very much to the household.

Her life has always seemed quite isolated but isolation in NYC is different indeed from isolation in Moscow, ID. Fewer distractions, lack of hustle and bustle around you to make you forget yourself. Just chickens (which are delightful) and Christmas movies and Netflix Netflix Netflix. You know, once she got beyond moving her 500 baskets around. 

Formerly Delusions of Adequacy // It's ooober
January 3, 2017
8:38 am
avatar
CEO OF MY FAMILY
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 719
Snarking Since:
February 20, 2014

under a smallpox moon meowed

derp twerk meowed

Judgey Eyes meowed
He's an attorney after all…  If he had decided that he wanted out of the marriage, it was pretty smart of him to stall on the fertility treatments in NYC, force a move to his preferred location, wait a year or so until it was their established home and the kid was in school and settled and THEN initiate the divorce.  He's really trapped her there.  Intentional or not, it's cruel since he knew she hated Moscow.  But if it was all calculated…  wow.  Then in addition, he's making way less money teaching, hence, way less spousal support he'll have to pay Natalie.  

THAT is pretty stone cold behavior, if that is what happened.  

I feel like something in him snapped after the loft rental. I think she even rented it without showing Brandon photos. Maybe he pushed the Moscow move in hopes of it bringing them closer together. Moscow had so many highs the first time around, maybe he hoped it would unify them. Instead, I think it drove them further apart.

I don't want to think of it as a calculated move on his part, because that is just beyond cold. I feel for Natalie because I think it's going to take a lot of work for her to not feel like it was calculated; you add the above bolded part, plus the loss of Natalie's independent income, and all of this happening after she learned she could never have another baby…and that is a lot to handle. I hope she's in therapy to help process all of this.

ETA: I do not think it'd be a good idea for Natalie to start blogging again. But I do hope she gets a job, I think it'd be good for her mental health.

smiley-signs064

January 3, 2017
8:43 am
avatar
Colorblocked Moonshiner
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 6927
Snarking Since:
September 27, 2011

Sorry if this is rehashing something well known, but I am confused about the comments of her forgoing higher education. I thought she went to college? Isn't that how these two met? Did she drop out when she got married, a la That Wife?

I know she has been work-averse since she "had" to work when beebs was in law school, and loved bragging about waking up at 10am or whatever and watching netflix all day, but I always assumed she graduated college. 

January 3, 2017
10:22 am
avatar
punkiepie
Cat
Meows: 32
Snarking Since:
May 3, 2012

Colorblocked Moonshiner meowed

Sorry if this is rehashing something well known, but I am confused about the comments of her forgoing higher education. I thought she went to college? Isn't that how these two met? Did she drop out when she got married, a la That Wife?

I know she has been work-averse since she "had" to work when beebs was in law school, and loved bragging about waking up at 10am or whatever and watching netflix all day, but I always assumed she graduated college. 

Natalie went to BYU and I'm fairly certain she graduated. I remember seeing pictures of her graduation on a blog post one time, at least I think I do. And back in her original Moscow days, she had a very popular etsy business making baby onesies.



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