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Mix and Match Mama/Shay Shull
January 10, 2017
2:14 pm
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Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I am the Mix and Match Mama
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 233
Snarking Since:
August 25, 2015

It was interesting to see Shay note that Madeley knows the sound a dog makes.  I used to have ESL students streamlined into my English classes and one of the "getting to know each other" activities was sharing what animals say in each of their languages with my English speakers.  For example a dog says "Wang Wang" in one of the languages…so we would laugh and say that animals speak foreign languages also.  It was a long time ago but the differences were marked and was interesting.

 

Madeley may know what sounds a lot of animals make but not necessarily in English.

January 10, 2017
2:20 pm
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ShellBelle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2000
Snarking Since:
October 29, 2012

lowedown meowed
I don't really understand the readers/fangirls who act like she's Jesus. I mean talk about worshipping… And for what? She's not a very nice person on the Internet. I don't know her in real life, but on her blog and social media, she's rude, smug, ignores questions, acts better than everyone, talks herself and her family up, and seems dishonest and disingenuous. You read the comments and people just worship every move she makes… Why? She's not giving anything back. She's not likeable on the Internet. I wish they would think about how weird it is to comment and worship her like she knows who they are, cares, or talks back. You are obsessed with someone you don't know because, why? She lives in a big house? Has all the clothes? Cute kids that she stages? Puts dinner on the table every night? (Lies). I get why people are interested in reading her- I find her oddness and lies and ability to portray perfection fascinating- but I don't get why they "love" HER so much.

I think Shay represents the fantasy that a "perfect" life is attainable. That's what the fangirls are loving so much – Shay's image, and the fact that they think this image is real…and therefore something they might be able to grasp for themselves someday, if they only eat what she eats, read what she reads, and wear what she wears.

They don't seem to see the truth. Or even question what Shay puts out there.

Look at today's post. Shay makes adoption sound like an absolute breeze, basically effortless, beyond (of course) the additional childcare responsibilities of adding a fourth kid to the family. I've never adopted, but unless Shay is miraculously lucky in a way that defies conventional adoption wisdom, she happened to end up with two super easy-going happy-go-lucky girls who fit seamlessly (she actually used this word today!) into their family. 

She makes adoption, something far from easy for the typical family, look simple. And fun. No wonder so many of her readers look up to her.

January 10, 2017
2:49 pm
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working out on the stairmill, admiring myself
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 805
Snarking Since:
December 27, 2014

Shay makes everything in life sound like a breeze. And frankly, she has had a very easy life compared to pretty much everyone else. She even still has three of her four grandparents, how many thirty-somethings can say that? I am only a few years older and my grandparents are long gone. My friends are starting to lose their parents.

I think that is what attracts the fangirls – obtaining the perfect life. 

January 10, 2017
3:25 pm
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lowedown
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 271
Snarking Since:
April 29, 2014

I get all that, but what makes them like HER as a person? They can want her life #goals and all that, but they act like she's their best friend who they love and adore. The comments.. It's so bizarre.

January 10, 2017
3:55 pm
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ShellBelle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2000
Snarking Since:
October 29, 2012

lowedown meowed
I get all that, but what makes them like HER as a person? They can want her life #goals and all that, but they act like she's their best friend who they love and adore. The comments.. It's so bizarre.

I actually think her fangirls connect with her in such a personal way because of her writing style.

I know people rag on Shay's writing…and I agree it's not particularly brilliant…but it does have a certain folksy, girlfriend-y flair. Although her whole internet presence, basically, is about showing off her superiority, and although she frequently talks down to her readers, she also says things in a way that makes her seem accessible, personable, and fun. 

If you are someone who unquestioningly envies Shay's seemingly easy life and looks up to her, I can see why you'd reach out and try to interact with her. Feeling like you're Shay's friend might be the first step to attaining what she has.

January 10, 2017
4:09 pm
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i covet your comments
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 846
Snarking Since:
May 23, 2015

Whenever Shay posts about her kids and what they do during the day, it always makes me sad because of how often it seems that the kids "find" her or she finds them. AKA they are not spending much actual TIME together. I think I have posted about this before, sorry if I have; it just makes me very sad for the kids and their narcissistic mother.

January 10, 2017
5:19 pm
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Amused and Amazed
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 361
Snarking Since:
September 16, 2014

Worst screen name ever meowed

yeah her asking her dear, sweet readers their opinions on mattresses wasn't shady at all.  she wouldn't ask for advice because she picks only the best and most qualified.  and then a few days later she posts the raw video of her kids being loud in the car.  dunno.  something is rotten in the state of denmark. 

maybe it's not the mattress, but the person sleeping in the bed, that is the issue.  heck she looks old enough to be entering menopause. 

I'm thinking that Shady is trying to score a free mattress since other bloggers seem to have snagged very expensive "sponsored" mattress sets and she was perhaps pissed that she had to pay for her mattress, maybe almost as much $$$ as another designer handbag. so, she whined about her mattress, tossing out bait to see what sort of freebie she could reel in. Sure, they can afford to buy their own mattress but she hates spending on items that don't have lust value from her minions. others-221

January 10, 2017
6:51 pm
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emme
Cat
Meows: 11
Snarking Since:
November 10, 2016

Today's post, although clearly Madely is very loved, kind of bothered me. I have adopted kids, all in their 20s now, so I have a more detached perspective on competitive parenting (although I saw it in my time). I can understand that Shay may not want to publicly share her kids problems, but why post at all about Madely being small, behind in language, and developmentally at all? She just glossed over it with an "everything will be fine" attitude. It is good to be positive, but one of my kids learned English around the age of two, and he had learning problems, and undetected attachment issues that affect him to this day. He seemed fine but it was all subtle. Learning a second language as a small child is no small task, along with adapting to a new family and culture, out of an orphanage. The 'one less" and "two less" attitude towards "orphans" is obnoxious too. I have never ever viewed by kids as "orphans" just as my kids. It puts way too much focus on their "saviors" the adopted parents which is really self centered.

January 10, 2017
7:07 pm
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working out on the stairmill, admiring myself
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 805
Snarking Since:
December 27, 2014

emme meowed
Today's post, although clearly Madely is very loved, kind of bothered me. I have adopted kids, all in their 20s now, so I have a more detached perspective on competitive parenting (although I saw it in my time). I can understand that Shay may not want to publicly share her kids problems, but why post at all about Madely being small, behind in language, and developmentally at all? She just glossed over it with an "everything will be fine" attitude. It is good to be positive, but one of my kids learned English around the age of two, and he had learning problems, and undetected attachment issues that affect him to this day. He seemed fine but it was all subtle. Learning a second language as a small child is no small task, along with adapting to a new family and culture, out of an orphanage. The 'one less" and "two less" attitude towards "orphans" is obnoxious too. I have never ever viewed by kids as "orphans" just as my kids. It puts way too much focus on their "saviors" the adopted parents which is really self centered.

Absolutely. But Shay is never going to let anyone forget that she "rescued" those two little girls and now their lives are are just so wonderful. And I hope they are, because Ashby and Madeley deserve to have wonderful childhoods. But I think she does a real disservice to adoption by her shallow, self-congratulatory posts that really do gloss right over the real issues of adoption.

January 10, 2017
9:47 pm
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BrucePatmansPorche
Cat
Meows: 21
Snarking Since:
September 1, 2016

I think Shay posts about Madeley being small, language and developmentally delayed because none of those things can be blamed on Shay.  Rather, they can be "blamed" on the orphanage or health care M may or may not have received or any number of other things.  I also have adopted children and her "everything is perfect" adoption posts are sweet enough but they're just not realistic.  At all. 

January 11, 2017
1:58 am
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I majored in Christmas
Hamcat
Meows: 83
Snarking Since:
September 14, 2016

BrucePatmansPorche meowed

I think Shay posts about Madeley being small, language and developmentally delayed because none of those things can be blamed on Shay.  Rather, they can be "blamed" on the orphanage or health care M may or may not have received or any number of other things.  I also have adopted children and her "everything is perfect" adoption posts are sweet enough but they're just not realistic.  At all. 

I agree with you.
I wonder what the best way would be to blog about adopted children without jeopardizing the child's privacy too much, by giving away the real problems and struggles, the way they are realistically. I mean, aside from the point that these kids and other blogger's kids don't have much privacy to start with.

I agree that this isn't a very realistic picture that is being painted, and that can be irresponsible, giving readers the idea that it is for the most part all roses and sunshine. But how far can you describe the reality without divulging too many private things for the child's sake?

January 11, 2017
4:20 am
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emme
Cat
Meows: 11
Snarking Since:
November 10, 2016

If nothing else, she could speak in general terms, like listing traits that may apply to institutionalized kids. But this will never happen in the MIx and Match blog. I never once pushed adoption on anyone because it is way too personal, emotionally draining, expensive and risky in a lot of ways. All the "adoption is amazing" talk is misleading. I got the impression that Ashby and Madely were paraded in church on the adoption celebration day in their Mathilda Jane clothes as a "success story." It is just disturbing. It is later on when the **** may or may not hit the fan, as in struggles in school, when they really understand that they are of a different race livng in affluent McKinney and how it affects them etc. When they are small and cute it's easy.

January 11, 2017
8:24 am
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i covet your comments
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 846
Snarking Since:
May 23, 2015

Shay's post about being more intentional = shoving the fact that she can do everything and anything better than you down her readers throats.

So many eye rolls. 



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