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Mix and Match Mama/Shay Shull
January 10, 2017
5:19 pm
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Amused and Amazed
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 647
Snarking Since:
September 16, 2014

Worst screen name ever meowed

yeah her asking her dear, sweet readers their opinions on mattresses wasn't shady at all.  she wouldn't ask for advice because she picks only the best and most qualified.  and then a few days later she posts the raw video of her kids being loud in the car.  dunno.  something is rotten in the state of denmark. 

maybe it's not the mattress, but the person sleeping in the bed, that is the issue.  heck she looks old enough to be entering menopause. 

I'm thinking that Shady is trying to score a free mattress since other bloggers seem to have snagged very expensive "sponsored" mattress sets and she was perhaps pissed that she had to pay for her mattress, maybe almost as much $$$ as another designer handbag. so, she whined about her mattress, tossing out bait to see what sort of freebie she could reel in. Sure, they can afford to buy their own mattress but she hates spending on items that don't have lust value from her minions. others-221

January 10, 2017
6:51 pm
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emme

Today's post, although clearly Madely is very loved, kind of bothered me. I have adopted kids, all in their 20s now, so I have a more detached perspective on competitive parenting (although I saw it in my time). I can understand that Shay may not want to publicly share her kids problems, but why post at all about Madely being small, behind in language, and developmentally at all? She just glossed over it with an "everything will be fine" attitude. It is good to be positive, but one of my kids learned English around the age of two, and he had learning problems, and undetected attachment issues that affect him to this day. He seemed fine but it was all subtle. Learning a second language as a small child is no small task, along with adapting to a new family and culture, out of an orphanage. The 'one less" and "two less" attitude towards "orphans" is obnoxious too. I have never ever viewed by kids as "orphans" just as my kids. It puts way too much focus on their "saviors" the adopted parents which is really self centered.

January 10, 2017
7:07 pm
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Neutral Neurotic
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1373
Snarking Since:
December 27, 2014

emme meowed
Today's post, although clearly Madely is very loved, kind of bothered me. I have adopted kids, all in their 20s now, so I have a more detached perspective on competitive parenting (although I saw it in my time). I can understand that Shay may not want to publicly share her kids problems, but why post at all about Madely being small, behind in language, and developmentally at all? She just glossed over it with an "everything will be fine" attitude. It is good to be positive, but one of my kids learned English around the age of two, and he had learning problems, and undetected attachment issues that affect him to this day. He seemed fine but it was all subtle. Learning a second language as a small child is no small task, along with adapting to a new family and culture, out of an orphanage. The 'one less" and "two less" attitude towards "orphans" is obnoxious too. I have never ever viewed by kids as "orphans" just as my kids. It puts way too much focus on their "saviors" the adopted parents which is really self centered.

Absolutely. But Shay is never going to let anyone forget that she "rescued" those two little girls and now their lives are are just so wonderful. And I hope they are, because Ashby and Madeley deserve to have wonderful childhoods. But I think she does a real disservice to adoption by her shallow, self-congratulatory posts that really do gloss right over the real issues of adoption.

January 10, 2017
9:47 pm
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I think Shay posts about Madeley being small, language and developmentally delayed because none of those things can be blamed on Shay.  Rather, they can be "blamed" on the orphanage or health care M may or may not have received or any number of other things.  I also have adopted children and her "everything is perfect" adoption posts are sweet enough but they're just not realistic.  At all. 

January 11, 2017
1:58 am
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I majored in Christmas
Hamcat
Meows: 148
Snarking Since:
September 14, 2016

BrucePatmansPorche meowed

I think Shay posts about Madeley being small, language and developmentally delayed because none of those things can be blamed on Shay.  Rather, they can be "blamed" on the orphanage or health care M may or may not have received or any number of other things.  I also have adopted children and her "everything is perfect" adoption posts are sweet enough but they're just not realistic.  At all. 

I agree with you.
I wonder what the best way would be to blog about adopted children without jeopardizing the child's privacy too much, by giving away the real problems and struggles, the way they are realistically. I mean, aside from the point that these kids and other blogger's kids don't have much privacy to start with.

I agree that this isn't a very realistic picture that is being painted, and that can be irresponsible, giving readers the idea that it is for the most part all roses and sunshine. But how far can you describe the reality without divulging too many private things for the child's sake?

January 11, 2017
4:20 am
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emme

If nothing else, she could speak in general terms, like listing traits that may apply to institutionalized kids. But this will never happen in the MIx and Match blog. I never once pushed adoption on anyone because it is way too personal, emotionally draining, expensive and risky in a lot of ways. All the "adoption is amazing" talk is misleading. I got the impression that Ashby and Madely were paraded in church on the adoption celebration day in their Mathilda Jane clothes as a "success story." It is just disturbing. It is later on when the **** may or may not hit the fan, as in struggles in school, when they really understand that they are of a different race livng in affluent McKinney and how it affects them etc. When they are small and cute it's easy.

January 11, 2017
8:24 am
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i covet your comments
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 980
Snarking Since:
May 23, 2015

Shay's post about being more intentional = shoving the fact that she can do everything and anything better than you down her readers throats.

So many eye rolls. 

January 11, 2017
8:36 am
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birdistheword
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 843
Snarking Since:
November 19, 2013

Of course she does it all – but it was interesting to read the comments and see that many dear readers are not asking "what" she does to be intentional but "how".  In other words they want to know exactly how she does it all…. maybe they are finally scratching their head and saying this is all a perfectly crafted picture and not real life. 

 

Also I have to get up at 4:10 to be her size, I'll stick with being chubby.  I value my sanity and lack of sleep is the quickest way to see me lose my marbles. 

January 11, 2017
9:15 am
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Neutral Neurotic
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1373
Snarking Since:
December 27, 2014

Today's post was everything that I thought it would be. Shay really struggled to find resolutions (being intentional when looking at social media, what?) and even within them made sure that the reader knew that she is already doing all of these things, but is just taking them to the next level. It was the self-congratulatory drivel that I thought it would be. Listing all the things that she does in a day and then saying that she is able to be awesome at all of them because she is organized? Well, I am organized too but I know when to put away the to do list and enjoy my downtime. She really does barrel through life, not stopping to enjoy or appreciate anything. Please, fangirls, if you find your way to Gomi and are reading this, that is no way to live. 

I majored in Christmas meowed

BrucePatmansPorche meowed

I think Shay posts about Madeley being small, language and developmentally delayed because none of those things can be blamed on Shay.  Rather, they can be "blamed" on the orphanage or health care M may or may not have received or any number of other things.  I also have adopted children and her "everything is perfect" adoption posts are sweet enough but they're just not realistic.  At all. 

I agree with you.
I wonder what the best way would be to blog about adopted children without jeopardizing the child's privacy too much, by giving away the real problems and struggles, the way they are realistically. I mean, aside from the point that these kids and other blogger's kids don't have much privacy to start with.

I agree that this isn't a very realistic picture that is being painted, and that can be irresponsible, giving readers the idea that it is for the most part all roses and sunshine. But how far can you describe the reality without divulging too many private things for the child's sake?

I have wondered that too, the internet is a permanent record and it is not fair to the children to list their struggles and problems. It is a fine line to walk definitely. And I do believe that Shay loves them very much, I have never doubted that. It is tricky to blog about their adoptions, while respecting their privacy.

January 11, 2017
9:20 am
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Long time reader but first time poster.  My sister is adopting and the workshops they've attended place a huge emphasis on the fact that details surrounding the child's birth family, circumstances, etc. should remain private as this is the child's story to tell.  The child deserves the right to decide who they share their story with.  Shay has been particularly open about certain details such as Ashby being found "abandoned".

Maybe these details aren't something Ashby would want the entire world to know.  It is bothersome and disturbing to me that the right for her to decide who knows her story was taken from her.

January 11, 2017
9:40 am
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Shopgrl
Hamcat
Meows: 106
Snarking Since:
June 29, 2016

Today's post was ridiculous. It was just an excuse to congratulate herself on everything she does in a day. I wonder if she'd drop the act and be human for a minute if she got drunk, or whether it's so deeply engrained in her that she can't stop. eek

January 11, 2017
10:17 am
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Worst screen name ever
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 422
Snarking Since:
August 19, 2013

holy **** her post today was ridiculous.  It was all about how she is really, really good at everything, but now she is going to be even better!  And when she lists everything she does… blogger, cookbook writer, mother, etc. vomit entered my mouth. the only thing she is being intentional about, is intentionally reminding herself she does it all!  

and p.s… when i read her dribble, i mentally change the word "sweet" to 'b****' because I believe whenever she uses the word sweet it is code for a**, b****, or f***, or some other terrible word to describe the person. 

January 11, 2017
11:10 am
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SnarKitty
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 861
Snarking Since:
April 29, 2014

This is off topic, but I came across something on Facebook that really made sense and pinpointed why I feel a certain kind of way about when Shady talks about Ashby and Madely. It was a video of twin adoptees reuniting on national tv. The person who posted it said:

 

I couldn't agree more with what my friend and colleague, Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW, PLLC., posted on her timeline regarding this GMA segment of 10 year-old adoptees meeting one another for the first time on national television. These girls are minors — MINORS! — and their lives and stories should not to be used to solicit emotions, publicity, or sensationalism. 

I know firsthand how being a transracial adoptee is conspicuous in and of itself, as so many (including strangers!) believe they have a personal invitation to ask any and all questions about the most intimate details of my life (i.e. Do you know your real mom?, Why didn't your parents want you?, Was your mother 16 years old?, What are you anyway — Chinese? Korean?, Do you like your new parents?, etc.). 

This is just so painful to watch; I cannot imagine having this moment forever out there on the virtual highways of the world wide web. Thinking of these two girls as they process what should be theirs and not the rest of the watching world's…

And from Melanie: 
"I know this is supposed to be "feel good." I get that… these are 10-year-old kids. One of the most intimate, private, and profound experiences for many adoptees is reunion. Adults can choose how they desire reunification to an extent — kids cannot. We don't know the full story, but this is already being proliferated on social media like Chewbacca mom. The fact this was done on live, international TV–is concerning on many, many levels. Come on, GMA. Come on, adults — adult.

 

I read on her Facebook page a little further and she also made this point:

What part of your deepest, darkest, most personal childhood memory is okay to post in a public forum for the entire world to see? Now, rather than you posting, someone does it for you, without your permission and without your full understanding or knowledge


Seriously. Think about this. Someone keeps reminding the world of the most painful thing that has happened in your life. Not only that, but in Shady's case, she constantly reminds people in a roundabout way of what a savior she is to these girls. 





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