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Elliequent
March 2, 2013
12:59 pm
avatar
Gamine
Hamcat
Meows: 57
Snarking Since:
May 16, 2012

lanadelrey,

You're right. You really are just absolutely right. About the posts, about the parties, about my being a hypocritical, marginalizing, insensitive asshole, both in my writing and my actions in real life.

I get it. I really do. I'm embarrassed, I'm disappointed in myself for being so willfully blind and selfish (because I did know better), and for being so grossly un self-aware.

I don't know if you believe me or not, but I honestly wish I could thank you in person for taking the time to spell it out for my dumb ass. Because even though I feel like shit, I'd much rather go through this really painful learning process than continue to be an asshole.

I don't know what else to say. You're just… right. 

March 2, 2013
2:08 pm
avatar
New Year New You
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
February 18, 2012

lanadelrey said

My (Christian) friends? Would NEVER. 

 

And I'm sure none of your good Christian friends ever voted against Gay marriage.

 

Why do you feel the need to bring religion into GOMI? It's a f**king forum in the bowels of the internet which rips bloggers apart. All very Christian. Keep your religion in your church, because whilst you're busy taking your world anger out on Ellie and calling her unaware, do try to be aware that your religion may be offensive to many and has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter at hand.

March 2, 2013
3:00 pm
avatar
Moose Knuckle

Oh.. I thought this was GOMI. *clicksoutofJezebel*

March 2, 2013
4:08 pm
avatar
vintage people & fair aisle sweaters
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3780
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2012

Are you guys new to lanaderlrey's antics?

She came on to the C.Jane and NieNie thread attacking the LDS Church despite not really reading those blogs and was so taken aback by a picture of Stephanie post-crash and surgeries that she couldn't concentrate on her homework!roflroflrofl

Also, she thinks 30-year old women are middle-aged and unhappy by virtue of their middle age.

My favorite part was when she decided that the thread was too long and started a thread specifically for Nie, declaring that the already-existing thread was to be solely C.Jane's. When a catlady posted about Nie after lanadelrey's declaration, she, lanadelrey came back and said: THIS IS THE CJANE THREAD

I love it when unsupervised children venture into the internet!

TL,DR, lanadelrey is a total whackjob and anything she may say is devalued by her antics. 

March 2, 2013
9:42 pm
avatar
lanadelrey
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 230
Snarking Since:
August 31, 2012

Rhodesian Sailor said
Are you guys new to lanaderlrey's antics?

She came on to the C.Jane and NieNie thread attacking the LDS Church despite not really reading those blogs and was so taken aback by a picture of Stephanie post-crash and surgeries that she couldn't concentrate on her homework!roflroflrofl

Also, she thinks 30-year old women are middle-aged and unhappy by virtue of their middle age.

My favorite part was when she decided that the thread was too long and started a thread specifically for Nie, declaring that the already-existing thread was to be solely C.Jane's. When a catlady posted about Nie after lanadelrey's declaration, she, lanadelrey came back and said: THIS IS THE CJANE THREAD

I love it when unsupervised children venture into the internet!

TL,DR, lanadelrey is a total whackjob and anything she may say is devalued by her antics. 

 

1) Not having time for Mormon apologists who want to rewrite history isn't the same as "attacking" the LDS church. 

What I wrote only reflects badly on LDS because the institution has done some really f**ked up things. I didn't write anything that wasn't true.

I don't have a vendetta against the church, and I wrote quite a bit in that thread about how allies within LDS have contributed to the Gay Rights movement.

I'll always correct people who try to erase the experiences of minorities in favor of whitewashing history – and that's what a few of your friends were attempting to do. 

Like I told your (Mormon) friend pblover. She's free to redefine what it means to be Mormon for herself, but her cherry picking doesn't have much to do with conversations about the institution as a whole.

I read C.Jane and posted regularly about reading C.Jane.

 

2) I think Nie is an extremely ugly person, both inside and out. I actually thought she was pretty derpy looking before the accident too. *shrug* I originally felt bad and apologized for my reaction to pictures of her, but in hindsight I should have just owned it.

 

3) I've never posted that all middle aged women are 'unhappy by virtue of their middle age'. 

 

4) I was poking fun at other people in the thread who were being ridic and going on about how C.Jane should have a different thread. Obviously that went over your head.

I ended up poking fun at a lot of the silliness in that thread, because for a sec there it turned into hive mind on crack. For the most part, I think I did a pretty good job of keeping the snark to a minimum.

Honestly, some of you were being just as ridiculous and wtf-inducing as the bloggers who get talked about here. Kind of killed the gomi dream for me.

 

5) I actually don't think you would have had an issue with what I said in a different context, you just don't like that it was directed towards your little online friends.

Aren't you the one who got super weird and started going on about how if I "come for" your friends you'll "come for" me? Well, I feel the same way about my community.

 

Anywho, it's pretty easy to Google my post history or skim the C.Jane thread and see what I've actually posted. Hopefully the people who actually care about this stuff and aren't rolling their eyes at the drama will do just that.

March 2, 2013
10:32 pm
avatar
lanadelrey
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 230
Snarking Since:
August 31, 2012

New Year New You said

lanadelrey said

My (Christian) friends? Would NEVER. 

 

And I'm sure none of your good Christian friends ever voted against Gay marriage.

 

Why do you feel the need to bring religion into GOMI? It's a f**king forum in the bowels of the internet which rips bloggers apart. All very Christian. Keep your religion in your church, because whilst you're busy taking your world anger out on Ellie and calling her unaware, do try to be aware that your religion may be offensive to many and has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter at hand.

New Year New You,

I share Ellies views on religion/atheism and her posts on the topic are what attracted me to her blog. Christianity isn't my religion, I don't assign to any religion.

I mainly brought up my Christian friends to point out that she was exhibiting some of the same behaviors she was calling out religious people for.

I would never be friends with someone who voted against gay marriage or thought that I was going to burn in hell. My friends who claim Christianity attend churches like this: http://www.allpilgrims.org/

With that said, I acknowledge that there are a lot of things problematic about Christianity and similar religions that go way beyond gay rights issues. 

 

Considering a lot of what's in the bible and how it's been used historically, I think 'a f**king forum in the bowels of the internet which rips bloggers apart' is about as Christian as you can get to be honest. wink

 

but that's just my opinion..

March 2, 2013
10:33 pm
avatar
Drunken Polka Dot Feet
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 462
Snarking Since:
December 13, 2011

Rhodesian Sailor said
Are you guys new to lanaderlrey's antics?

She came on to the C.Jane and NieNie thread attacking the LDS Church despite not really reading those blogs and was so taken aback by a picture of Stephanie post-crash and surgeries that she couldn't concentrate on her homework!roflroflrofl

Also, she thinks 30-year old women are middle-aged and unhappy by virtue of their middle age.

My favorite part was when she decided that the thread was too long and started a thread specifically for Nie, declaring that the already-existing thread was to be solely C.Jane's. When a catlady posted about Nie after lanadelrey's declaration, she, lanadelrey came back and said: THIS IS THE CJANE THREAD

I love it when unsupervised children venture into the internet!

TL,DR, lanadelrey is a total whackjob and anything she may say is devalued by her antics. 

I personally thought lanadelrey brought up really good points re: her above point re: Elliequent and what she wrote about the party.

 

Also (because this is a thread about Elliequent and not FOR her) – her most recent post made me roll my eyes. Stuff related to mental health and stalker/psychotic older brother are perfectly reasonable explanations for not allowing comments. The rest of it just made my eye role since she went on and on about how if people want to reach out to her she'll gladly listen, but they have to go that extra mile. If you don't want to foster a community, if you don't want feedback on your posts either a) don't blog or b) don't come to GOMI on the SOMI thread about you! Get a private journal or put your settings on private.

 

The whole reason I brought up comments in the first place (not closing them bc sorry, you never had them open in the first place) was bc she directed them to here! If she didn't do that, I wouldn't have brought it up. Closing/opening comments are a person's choice but don't try to engage in dialogue about it if you don't want to.

 

I don't know if I'm having an extra b***hy day or what but the recent post just kind of sent me over the edge –

 

"I don't blog to foster community. And I know that sounds apathetic and snobbish at first read, but please hear me out. I just don't write the sort of content that lends itself to a discussion-based community"

"But again, I really want to emphasize how much I love getting to know readers/other bloggers through avenues other than my comment section. I have internet friends I've made who just went the extra mile – who emailed, or took thirty seconds to introduce themselves on IG – and who now have become a really fun part of my online life. And a few people who've reached out to me are now real life friends, which, how awesome, right? You'd be surprised at how quickly I will fall into correspondence/friendship with someone who just reaches out."

 

"I'm not a big blog reader myself, so it would be really lousy of me to allow comments from people who have blogs of their own, if I don't plan on visiting those blogs back. That's lame."

"I'm also a believer in paying your interest forward with the internet – read the blogs you want, because you want to, not because you want those bloggers to read yours."

*These seem off…You don't have an obligation to go to other blogs to leave comments if you don't want to, which you say in the next paragraph.

 

"I'm available and open to interacting with anyone who wants to genuinely interact with me, whether they're a fan or not. My presence on social media, my availability through email, and even my recent visit to an online forum devoted to critiquing bloggers all, I believe, attest to that. I've gotten emails from fans, and I've gotten emails from critics. Both have been answered. If you have something to say to me, there are links galore in my About page with ways to reach me."

 

"I know that if someone reached out to me and said they had problem with something I wrote, for whatever reason – if they cared enough to reach out to me with respect, I know I would be 100% open to discussion with them, to hearing them out, to accepting their criticism/feedback with grace, etc. I know that. I know who I am as a person, and that I'm mature enough to engage with critics, and to possibly come away from that engagement improved somehow. And my knowing that is enough for me. I don't need to prove it by opening up my comments, and dealing with all the concomitant issues I listed above"

 

Am I the only one who read that and was just turned off by it all (except, again the mental health/psychotic brother concerns)? I know that this is a SOMI thread, and she seems to be an active part of GOMI but…I don't know…she's crossing into GOMI territory for me. Anyone else? ….Beuller?

March 2, 2013
10:59 pm
avatar
watery highball

Gamine said
lanadelrey,

You're right. You really are just absolutely right. About the posts, about the parties, about my being a hypocritical, marginalizing, insensitive asshole, both in my writing and my actions in real life.

I get it. I really do. I'm embarrassed, I'm disappointed in myself for being so willfully blind and selfish (because I did know better), and for being so grossly un self-aware.

I don't know if you believe me or not, but I honestly wish I could thank you in person for taking the time to spell it out for my dumb ass. Because even though I feel like shit, I'd much rather go through this really painful learning process than continue to be an asshole.

I don't know what else to say. You're just… right. 

I'm just reading this thread casually, but I just wanted to say thank you to Gamine for being open to different perspectives. I've been talking about this stuff on the internet for many, many years, and you'd be surprised how few people are willing to not only think in a different way, but also admit to past harmful behaviours/thoughts that they were ignorant of. I've bashed my head against the keyboard over it many times.

So don't feel like shit too much – you're already on much better footing than most!

March 3, 2013
11:29 am
avatar
vintage people & fair aisle sweaters
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3780
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2012

Drunken Polka Dot Feet said

Rhodesian Sailor said
Are you guys new to lanaderlrey's antics?

She came on to the C.Jane and NieNie thread attacking the LDS Church despite not really reading those blogs and was so taken aback by a picture of Stephanie post-crash and surgeries that she couldn't concentrate on her homework!roflroflrofl

Also, she thinks 30-year old women are middle-aged and unhappy by virtue of their middle age.

My favorite part was when she decided that the thread was too long and started a thread specifically for Nie, declaring that the already-existing thread was to be solely C.Jane's. When a catlady posted about Nie after lanadelrey's declaration, she, lanadelrey came back and said: THIS IS THE CJANE THREAD

I love it when unsupervised children venture into the internet!

TL,DR, lanadelrey is a total whackjob and anything she may say is devalued by her antics. 

I personally thought lanadelrey brought up really good points re: her above point re: Elliequent and what she wrote about the party.

We'll have to agree to disagree, hamsister.

What lanadelrey wrote has been said many times by many other people. Ellie is not the only person to have made an unintentionally insensitive comment and  lanadelrey is not the first person to have been irritated.

It might have  been the first time this was discussed on GOMI, but a lot of this has been said before.

Of course, lanadelrey is going to think that she's the only person to have made these points and she's the only person who has ever done anything or said anything, yada yada.

 I really wish her parents monitored their daughters' internet activity.

March 3, 2013
12:09 pm
avatar
vintage people & fair aisle sweaters
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3780
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2012

lanadelrey said

1) Not having time for Mormon apologists who want to rewrite history isn't the same as "attacking" the LDS church. 

What I wrote only reflects badly on LDS because the institution has done some really f**ked up things. I didn't write anything that wasn't true.

I don't have a vendetta against the church, and I wrote quite a bit in that thread about how allies within LDS have contributed to the Gay Rights movement.

You made no distinction between the institution and individual members. You fail to take into account that an institution with 12 million members the world over can only be judged so much. There's a lot of room for discrepancy and stats can only get you so far.

I'll always correct people who try to erase the experiences of minorities in favor of whitewashing history – and that's what a few of your friends were attempting to do. 

You weren't defending a minority. You were making yourself a martyr because you are the only gay person ever. No one else has ever been gay.

Like I told your (Mormon) friend pblover. She's free to redefine what it means to be Mormon for herself, but her cherry picking doesn't have much to do with conversations about the institution as a whole.

Cherry picking? Oh the irony

I read C.Jane and posted regularly about reading C.Jane.

2) I think Nie is an extremely ugly person, both inside and out. I actually thought she was pretty derpy looking before the accident too. *shrug* I originally felt bad and apologized for my reaction to pictures of her, but in hindsight I should have just owned it.

God, you are a child. Go back to the playground.

3) I've never posted that all middle aged women are 'unhappy by virtue of their middle age'. 

That might be an error on my part, but really, 30 is middle-aged? drooleyeroll

4) I was poking fun at other people in the thread who were being ridic and going on about how C.Jane should have a different thread. Obviously that went over your head.

No it went over your head. The thread was devolving into the I-hate-the-Mormons thread. Someone joked about starting another thread in which to discuss C.Jane now that the original thread had been hijacked by nutters like you.

I ended up poking fun at a lot of the silliness in that thread, because for a sec there it turned into hive mind on crack. For the most part, I think I did a pretty good job of keeping the snark to a minimum.

It devolved because of you.

Honestly, some of you were being just as ridiculous and wtf-inducing as the bloggers who get talked about here. Kind of killed the gomi dream for me.

5) I actually don't think you would have had an issue with what I said in a different context, you just don't like that it was directed towards your little online friends.

You're wrong. I have an issue with your self-righteousness. The fact that you attacked my hamsisters was minor compared to the fact that you think you're the only person who knows anything about anything. You don't. You're little more than a child.

Aren't you the one who got super weird and started going on about how if I "come for" your friends you'll "come for" me? Well, I feel the same way about my community.

Yes, I will defend hamsisters to the online death. You don't care about your community. Everything you do is about you. You are the only gay person ever.

Anywho, it's pretty easy to Google my post history or skim the C.Jane thread and see what I've actually posted. Hopefully the people who actually care about this stuff and aren't rolling their eyes at the drama will do just that.

March 3, 2013
12:21 pm
avatar
I think thats healthy!
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1368
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2012

March 3, 2013
9:01 pm
avatar
Drunken Polka Dot Feet
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 462
Snarking Since:
December 13, 2011

Rhodesian Sailor said

Drunken Polka Dot Feet said

Rhodesian Sailor said
Are you guys new to lanaderlrey's antics?

She came on to the C.Jane and NieNie thread attacking the LDS Church despite not really reading those blogs and was so taken aback by a picture of Stephanie post-crash and surgeries that she couldn't concentrate on her homework!roflroflrofl

Also, she thinks 30-year old women are middle-aged and unhappy by virtue of their middle age.

My favorite part was when she decided that the thread was too long and started a thread specifically for Nie, declaring that the already-existing thread was to be solely C.Jane's. When a catlady posted about Nie after lanadelrey's declaration, she, lanadelrey came back and said: THIS IS THE CJANE THREAD

I love it when unsupervised children venture into the internet!

TL,DR, lanadelrey is a total whackjob and anything she may say is devalued by her antics. 

I personally thought lanadelrey brought up really good points re: her above point re: Elliequent and what she wrote about the party.

We'll have to agree to disagree, hamsister.

What lanadelrey wrote has been said many times by many other people. Ellie is not the only person to have made an unintentionally insensitive comment and  lanadelrey is not the first person to have been irritated.

It might have  been the first time this was discussed on GOMI, but a lot of this has been said before.

Of course, lanadelrey is going to think that she's the only person to have made these points and she's the only person who has ever done anything or said anything, yada yada.

 I really wish her parents monitored their daughters' internet activity.

Sounds good re: agree to disagree! It may also be I've never ventured into the Nie/CJane thread and don't really remember any other posts by her except the one in this thread. dance<– I include this gif because I think it's applicable in all situations! (I've actually caught myself doing that move, maybe I should slowly step away from the smiley inserts)

March 3, 2013
11:39 pm
avatar
lanadelrey
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 230
Snarking Since:
August 31, 2012

Rhodesian Sailor,

Why are you focusing so much on my sexuality when 99% of the disagreement in that thread had to do with the churches treatment of women?

Another gomi'er posted a study about the experiences of Mormon women and pblover got upset and started going on about how it was untrue and felt it was an attack on Mormons.

The thing is – the study was done by a (still active to this day) Mormon man as a result of seeing the struggles of his wife and daughters.

That's when the back and forth started regarding scriptures/church policy and the words of the prophets. We could have all taken a field trip over to the live chat on LDS.org and they would have co-signed everything I said (once we all agreed to a non-disclosure agreement *eyeroll*). 

I stand by what I wrote.

Another female member of the church chimed in early on and backed me up, but I guess her opinion doesn't hold as much weight because you aren't friends with her?

LDS isn't structured the same way as other religions. The roles of the prophets are so intertwined into what it means to be Mormon that (unfortunately) there really aren't many distinctions you can make when discussing certain topics.

When talking about things that have become inherent to the religion as the result of the words of said prophets… like the treatment of women/gays/people of color? Yes, both the institution and its members(who give 10% of their income to said institution) come into play.



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