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Living Absolutely
April 11, 2016
9:30 pm
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Purple21
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3909
Snarking Since:
July 28, 2014

I quite like the logo on her FB page – it seems appropriate! All pink hair and mouth with no eyes or ears. Absolutely Jenna.

April 11, 2016
9:47 pm
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Jennabeezer Scrooge
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1268
Snarking Since:
July 23, 2013

Pink hair is her patronus charm?  Um… someone hasn't read Harry Potter and it annoys me she's appropriating HP for this shit. 

April 11, 2016
9:55 pm
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Purple21
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3909
Snarking Since:
July 28, 2014

Jennabeezer Scrooge meowed
Pink hair is her patronus charm?  Um… someone hasn't read Harry Potter and it annoys me she's appropriating HP for this shit. 

I'm sure she read the cover and experienced a paradigm shift. Does that count? 

April 11, 2016
10:50 pm
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Oh My CAT

So, I haven't graded anyone's work in 2 years and English is my second language, but let's analyze her speech number 1, shall we? 

In 2012 I attended the Mormon Church for the last time as a believer.

OMC: Great first line! we are going to read about what lead the speaker to leave the Church. I am interested so far!

For three years now, I have been identifying myself by that status change in my life.

OMC: That's a little weird… Surely she'll explain why.

If you asked me to write up a general introduction for myself I might say “Hello, I’m Jenna, married, a mother of-two-children and an ex-Mormon. I’m a blogger, a photographer, a web developer, and a lover of authenticity (even though I know it’s in vogue to hate on that word right now)."

OMC: I guess she will not explain why. I guess the author is really bad at introducing herself! 

Lately though, I’ve been questioning whether I want ex-Mormon to be a lifestyle choice I identify by.

OMC: More importantly, you should explain why it took you THREE YEARS to get to this point. And is being an "ex-Mormon" a "type of lifestyle"? I never thought about it like that.

I would never introduce myself as “A blogger, not a surfer, a photographer, not a sculptor, not a stamp collector. 

OMC: That's just… bizarre..

If I had no children and stated “I’m a married childfree-by-choice photographer” I might have my audience scratching their heads, and I don’t think I would book many portrait sessions for my photography business.

OMC: they would scratch their heads because there is no reason to know or care why a photographer tells them if she has any children. Jenma's shitty photos make them not hire Jenma Cob. 

Reflecting on this has led to a few conclusions. When I was an active participant in the Mormon Faith I frequently brought up my religious beliefs as a way to introduce myself to people.

OMC: Can one "participate" in faith? And someone should have told you NOT to introduce yourself using your faith.

I wanted those familiar with the religion to understand that I wouldn’t be drinking alcohol with them and hoped they would spend some time speaking about God with me.

OMC: I was hoping you'd explain WHY you'd tell people what bullshit religion you follow (whatever belief you hold, Jenma, it's all bullshit). Not drinking and wanting to talk about God are two very stupid reasons for why you should assault people with your religion (you did this with mormonism then, now you do it with your nudity, terrible parenting, borderline alcoholism and general stupidity: no one wants to talk to YOU about any of the above, because nudity, parenting, alcoholism and stupidity has a life outside of Jenma that Jenma fails to see). You shouldn't expect people to want to discuss god with morons like you. 

After 25+ years identifying myself based on religious belief it feels natural to do so.

OMC: I guess NOW you explain WHY you'd use your religion as an ice breaker (it's still stupid). This sentence should come before the previous sentence (or sentences, don't make me read it again). 

Except now, identifying based on my non-religious status is a way for me to communicate that I would love to grab a drink with you and am really hoping you don’t want to try to engage in a discussion about God with me.

OMC: Why would anyone assume that you're drinking now and do not want to speak about god now that you aren't ex-mormon? Is that something all ex-mormons do (drink and not discussing god, whatever that means to you now)? 

Bringing up my departure from Mormonism has also led to some fantastic discussions with others who are post-religious or who have transitioned their own beliefs in dramatic ways. I’ve engaged in quite a few lively discussions where I try to convince another post-religious individuals that my experience was more stringent or demanding or extreme than theirs. Only a few specific cultures and belief systems have been able to match my experiences thus far!

OMC: Why…why does it matter who had it worse? And if it was so bad, why not speak about ways to change the church? What are the worst parts of being mormon? Why are you so proud of having "stringent/demanding/extreme" beliefs?

If I’m being completely honest with myself, and you, the biggest reason I’m still using this tactic is that I have a terrible memory, and am regularly embarrassed by how little I’m able to recall about other people.

OMC: Which tactic, specifically, are we talking about here: introducing yourself as an ex-mormon or having "lively" discussion of how repressed your life was? Both are very stupid excuses: why would either help you recall who you are speaking to?

I frequently have entire conversations with people where I’m unable to recall both their names and how I know them.

OMC: Could it be because you forget that other people exist? It is Jenma's world. We're just living in it. The stupid almost made me forget to ask you: do you think that complete strangers want to know about your religious past? 

Last week I responded to a posting online asking for a toddler bed, something I’ve had sitting in my garage for eight months now, and when the individual arrived at my house to pick it up it was a fellow Toastmaster from this group! If she hadn’t made the connection and voiced it out loud I would have had no idea.

OMC: Even more confused now: what helped you remember who this woman was is the woman herself reminding you…you didn't even have to mention church! Do you talk about church to just about anyone? Even someone who is getting something from Craig's list? That is bizarre.

My ex-Mormonism is a crutch I love to lean on when engaging in conversation – it not only opens up a variety of conversation points around the contrast between my former and current lifestyle choices, it often leads to doing something I find very enjoyable and easy – talking about myself.

OMC: Have you considered getting a life? You know, something to do other than obsess over Mormonism? Move on? More importantly, who cares how different your current lifestyle is from your past? You are still an asshole. And having conversation with people should not revolve around something that is "enjoyable and easy" for you… Have you learned NOTHING in 30 years?!

Due to this last point, I think it’s time for me to start phasing out this crutch I’ve come to lean on.

OMC: Actually, the last point you made is that you love talking about yourself. I agree though: you should phase that shit out, show some curiosity about others, and make some friends. Discuss topics larger than Jenma (that's a pun I'd like you to hold on to for when we break down the next speech).

We all want to form real and deep connections with the people we encounter and I’m missing out on that when I spend the entire exchange talking about myself and how many years I was on earth before I watched my first rated-r movie.

OMC: 30 years. You lived for 30+ years and this is your insight? 

This doesn’t mean I won’t ever talk about my Mormon past – it’s a crucial part of my identity that is in many ways responsible for who I am and where I am today.

OMC: I suggest that, if you can't engage in a respectful conversation about Mormonism, you should never again discuss it. 

I’m simply going to shift my introduction of myself to focus on who I am, not what I am not.

OMC: Ok…so, when you said "I’m missing out … when I spend the entire exchange talking about myself" you meant "other than religion! there are so many interesting things about me, like did you know I am a photographer? and a blogger? and I have two kids, but I don't enjoy motherhood and I don't like that I have to take care of anyone other than me…"

I’m looking forward to getting to know each one of you in this club, and all of the ways I’ll be able to learn about and from you as I actively work to listen more and speak a little less.

OMC: Yea, good luck with that. 

April 11, 2016
11:13 pm
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Oh My CAT

I was going to give thorough, unsolicited feedback to Jenma's second speech, but I feel drained. For the record, only Jenma Cob would deliver 2 speeches to her Toastmasters group and decide to share video of the second speech. Don't tell me she is not a comically perfect example of Dunning-Kruger effect. She gave ONE SPEECH, before taping and publishing the video of her second one. And if she had a brain bigger than a hummingbird, she would not have posted it, because at least a third of the video has her head cut off. 

April 11, 2016
11:30 pm
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A Murder of Crows Feet
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 625
Snarking Since:
March 8, 2015

Oh My CAT meowed
I was going to give thorough, unsolicited feedback to Jenma's second speech, but I feel drained. For the record, only Jenma Cob would deliver 2 speeches to her Toastmasters group and decide to share video of the second speech. Don't tell me she is not a comically perfect example of Dunning-Kruger effect. She gave ONE SPEECH, before taping and publishing the video of her second one. And if she had a brain bigger than a hummingbird, she would not have posted it, because at least a third of the video has her head cut off. 

If I ruled the world, the Dunning-Kruger effect would be renamed the Jenma Cob effect.

Excellent analysis of the first speech. I bet she's already forgotten that she ever expressed a desire to listen more and speak less.

formerly kissacat / the Betty Friedan of Snapchat / Giving the Internet an Annoying Hangnail / Basic Happiness Standards (I need to stop changing my name so often)
April 11, 2016
11:46 pm
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sundaecake
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 483
Snarking Since:
May 29, 2013

Oh My CAT meowed
 

If I had no children and stated “I’m a married childfree-by-choice photographer” I might have my audience scratching their heads, and I don’t think I would book many portrait sessions for my photography business.

 

I'm still scratching my head at this one. 

 

 

April 12, 2016
12:11 am
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Jennabeezer Scrooge
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1268
Snarking Since:
July 23, 2013

Well, to be fair, if she didn't have so many cute pics of her kids she probably wouldn't have the few clients she's had. 

April 12, 2016
12:31 am
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outersunsetSF
Hamcat
Meows: 122
Snarking Since:
November 4, 2014

the new branding is terrible! i can't believe it's for real.

 

https://www.facebook.com/livingabsolute

April 12, 2016
12:51 am
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Purple21
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3909
Snarking Since:
July 28, 2014

You've done a courageous job breaking down the entire speech, but I'm just hearing Bette Midler from Beaches on a loop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kxfq_mysyg

 

"But that's enough about me – let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"

 

Jenna's the wind beneath her own wings.

April 12, 2016
11:22 am
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Oh My CAT

Ugh I am annoyed with myself for getting myself worked up over her speeches- who cares! She is an idiot but why do I care so much? Why don't I feel compassion and empathy toward her? I need a Jenma Cob detox.

April 12, 2016
1:48 pm
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Expecto Patronum
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2164
Snarking Since:
February 21, 2013

Jennabeezer Scrooge meowed
Pink hair is her patronus charm?  Um… someone hasn't read Harry Potter and it annoys me she's appropriating HP for this shit. 

f**king agreed.  Though I do appreciate her latest throw shit at the wall and see if it sticks venture.  "I have to outsource all childcare and housekeeping duties because I'm Living Absolutely!!  Launching a new brand!!"  others-221

April 12, 2016
2:38 pm
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Saint Dorothy Mantooth
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 835
Snarking Since:
August 20, 2012

Fantastic analysis, Oh My CAT! Thank you for breaking that down! sha_clap2sha_clap2

Bringing up my departure from Mormonism has also led to some fantastic discussions with others who are post-religious or who have transitioned their own beliefs in dramatic ways. I’ve engaged in quite a few lively discussions where I try to convince another post-religious individuals that my experience was more stringent or demanding or extreme than theirs. Only a few specific cultures and belief systems have been able to match my experiences thus far!

This is so bizarre to me. I mean, not really, because it's Jenna. But what a weird thing to constantly do. "Did you know I used to be religious? You, too? Well, my experiences were WORSE! Let's drop everything until you admit that!"



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