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New to That Wife? Questions? Start Here!
October 16, 2015
11:49 am
avatar
Jenjen_bee123
Hamcat
Meows: 57
Snarking Since:
October 15, 2015

Do we have any idea why TH decided to marry her at all? I get that the power point was super convincing rolleyes But seriously, he seems like the kind of person that just wants to lead his workaholic, overly controlled life. He doesn't seem to like her or have any interest in their kids, so why did he even get married? I know 1 or 2 people that I think he seems very much like – rigid, workaholic, want every aspect of their lives in a certain controlled way. But these people didn't get married or have kids because that they are uncomfortable with the changes/flexibly that would require. Any hints as to why he decided being a husband and father was what he wanted?

October 16, 2015
2:01 pm
avatar
LaverneandHurling
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1085
Snarking Since:
August 5, 2014

Jenjen_bee123 meowed
Do we have any idea why TH decided to marry her at all? I get that the power point was super convincing rolleyes But seriously, he seems like the kind of person that just wants to lead his workaholic, overly controlled life. He doesn't seem to like her or have any interest in their kids, so why did he even get married? I know 1 or 2 people that I think he seems very much like – rigid, workaholic, want every aspect of their lives in a certain controlled way. But these people didn't get married or have kids because that they are uncomfortable with the changes/flexibly that would require. Any hints as to why he decided being a husband and father was what he wanted?

IIRC, he was a new convert to Mormonism, which obviously values marriage and breeding, and also maybe either working for a company with a similar value set or at least felt like he needed to be a Family Man in order to work up the ladder.  Someone who's been following closer can feel free to correct me and/or cite specifics.

 

As for why he'd marry her?  I'm betting because she was there.  She was pretty damn into him and that had to be flattering for That Dork.  

October 16, 2015
10:33 pm
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Tasteful
Cat
Meows: 20
Snarking Since:
September 23, 2014

I've read that Jenna signed over her part of the deed back to TA. I've researched everywhere but cannot find the details. Can anyone fill me in or send a link? Thanks.

October 18, 2015
10:56 pm
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Officer Meowmeow Fuzzyface
Hamcat
Meows: 142
Snarking Since:
April 30, 2015

Tasteful meowed
I've read that Jenna signed over her part of the deed back to TA. I've researched everywhere but cannot find the details. Can anyone fill me in or send a link? Thanks.

I think some GOMI posts about the deed stuff were deleted (and the hunt for more info was largely abandoned) because it got a little too personal with details/addresses? I could be wrong.  I wasn't around when it all went down and my crappy sleuthing skills didn't turn up anything either, so I apologize in advance if I'm wrong and someone please correct me if I am.  But from what I gather, it was like they bought a second house/property and TW signed over her part to TA.  Which could mean something or nothing.  And it's still unclear what they intend to do with the second purchase, but I'm leaning toward the theory that the real explanation probably isn't scandalous or interesting…

 

And I have my own question:  I've seen it alluded to that TA has been insulting/critical of TW's weight in the past.  Something about he told her she needed to lose weight before he would do something for her (sex maybe?) I haven't found any instance of Jenna herself talking about it. Just curious if this is purely speculation, or maybe something that happened a long time ago and was scrubbed…?

October 19, 2015
2:14 am
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Derpnado
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 225
Snarking Since:
January 26, 2015

I'm not sure why people seem to think TA has no interest in the kids. I read T1's birth story last night and jfc, that man went above and beyond during her labor/delivery and in all the photos of T1 and TA, he seems enthralled by his infant son..not to mention in recent photos of him with the kids, he seems completely at ease with them. Remember, we only have TW's version of things and she's a batshit crazy liar who lies.. she never made him out to be reluctant to have children in any way though or distant towards the idea while she was pregnant, if anything he was a model father- to- be based on the posts I went back and read of her pregnancy.

I can't believe I just wk for Swavacado but yeah, I don't think he's a shit father or disinterested in his children.

October 19, 2015
2:38 am
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Ladycoder Tantrums
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 808
Snarking Since:
February 2, 2015

Derpnado meowed
I'm not sure why people seem to think TA has no interest in the kids. I read T1's birth story last night and jfc, that man went above and beyond during her labor/delivery and in all the photos of T1 and TA, he seems enthralled by his infant son..not to mention in recent photos of him with the kids, he seems completely at ease with them. Remember, we only have TW's version of things and she's a batshit crazy liar who lies.. she never made him out to be reluctant to have children in any way though or distant towards the idea while she was pregnant, if anything he was a model father- to- be based on the posts I went back and read of her pregnancy.

I can't believe I just wk for Swavacado but yeah, I don't think he's a shit father or disinterested in his children.

That's why he's so confusing…he SEEMS to care but then works 20-hour days (so claimed by Jenna) while leaving them in the care of a woman who is mentally unstable and regularly posts horrible, awful, hateful things about them and puts them in actual, physical, danger (like dumping them in the road because she couldn't be bothered to take 10 minutes to fix the safety harnesses, not making sure their helmets fit properly, leaving T1 in the bathroom triple-diapered with a white noise machine so he wouldn't bother his mother…). If she's as bad in person as she is online (and I imagine she's actually MUCH worse, because public personas), then somebody who loves those children needs to protect them from her, and who better to do that than their father? 

If I started day-drinking, dressing like a stripper while hanging out with strange men in bars, wandering nude beaches, throwing away money spent on school by sassing my instructors and refusing to do my assignments correctly, posting "I hate my kids" messages, took pictures and video of them when they were crying instead of comforting them, and took off on vacations once a month while leaving my children to be raised by others, my husband would have me committed. TA isn't innocent in all of this. 

October 19, 2015
2:52 am
avatar
Ladycoder Tantrums
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 808
Snarking Since:
February 2, 2015

fashun blogger pineapple prop wearing sunglasses meowed

Tasteful meowed
I've read that Jenna signed over her part of the deed back to TA. I've researched everywhere but cannot find the details. Can anyone fill me in or send a link? Thanks.

I think some GOMI posts about the deed stuff were deleted (and the hunt for more info was largely abandoned) because it got a little too personal with details/addresses? I could be wrong.  I wasn't around when it all went down and my crappy sleuthing skills didn't turn up anything either, so I apologize in advance if I'm wrong and someone please correct me if I am.  But from what I gather, it was like they bought a second house/property and TW signed over her part to TA.  Which could mean something or nothing.  And it's still unclear what they intend to do with the second purchase, but I'm leaning toward the theory that the real explanation probably isn't scandalous or interesting…

 

And I have my own question:  I've seen it alluded to that TA has been insulting/critical of TW's weight in the past.  Something about he told her she needed to lose weight before he would do something for her (sex maybe?) I haven't found any instance of Jenna herself talking about it. Just curious if this is purely speculation, or maybe something that happened a long time ago and was scrubbed…?

I can't find it now, but there was at least one instance of Jenna talking about how TA would "pinch her fat" to remind her she was getting too big. There was also something before the wedding about how she'd better lose weight or he wouldn't be able to get it up. TA has his white knights, but the "A" is there for a reason…

Here are a few tidbits from her blog:

People often ask what took us so long to meet. Why didn’t we start spending all of our time together in July of 2005 instead of January of 2007? Truthfully, it’s because I looked like this. One of the things I love most about my relationship with That Husband is our ability to be honest about touchy subjects. We both acknowledge that I was so heavy at this point that he never would have been interested in me. If our roles were reversed and he were 50 lbs heavier than he is now I probably wouldn’t have been interested in him either. It sounds harsh, but it’s simply the rules of attraction. If I hadn’t lost all this weight, we could have become friends, but we would never be married.

 

Instead of talking about just cheese every night, I’m going to have TH ask me one simple question, “Do you have any regrets regarding anything you ate today?” He is my best friend, the person I most want to make proud, and I think using him as a food journal each night will help me overcome momentary cravings that I might normally give in to.

 

When I started seriously trying to lose my baby weight we locked up anything and everything in the house that acted as a temptation for me (like cheese, we kept the cheese locked up in a bag in the fridge). He didn’t want to feel deprived though, so he kept a bag of candy (most of it Polish candy that his parents sent him), some Sunchips from Costco, and other assorted things to snack on. 

October 19, 2015
10:04 am
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Snarky Librarian
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1751
Snarking Since:
October 27, 2011

Just to clarify, the "pinch your fat" was on post-it notes that he would leave on the junk food so that Jenna wouldn't eat it, he didn't actually pinch her fat. 

Another weddingbee blogger also revealed once that Jenna revealed in their private fb group that he told her before the wedding that he wasn't sure if he would be able to get it up on their honeymoon since she hadn't lost enough weight. Apparently the reaction from the other bees was a resounding "wtf get out of this engagement now" which Jenna ignored. 

October 19, 2015
12:07 pm
avatar
Celery Tantrum
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 256
Snarking Since:
November 6, 2014

Snarky Librarian meowed 
Another weddingbee blogger also revealed once that Jenna revealed in their private fb group that he told her before the wedding that he wasn't sure if he would be able to get it up on their honeymoon since she hadn't lost enough weight. Apparently the reaction from the other bees was a resounding "wtf get out of this engagement now" which Jenna ignored. 

Honestly, this whole bit, along with the OTT pregnancy vagina prep, has always smacked to me of someone not entirely at ease with their sexuality. It would explain a lot, especially her need to advertise herself as a super-sexual being at all times.

I think TA definitely has his own issues, and has fully earned his "A", simply by enabling the abuse of his children (who I do think he cares for, but is too checked-out with his own stuff to fully recognize). But I don't buy all of Jenna's stories about him. I think because he denies her his approval and affection, she chases it all the more, and because as a narcissist, she's fundamentally unable to chastise herself for being overweight, or self-regulate her feelings on the issue, she chooses to project a lot of her dissatisfaction onto him. Not to say that he hasn't fed into it–I'm sure he has–but I'd bet anything that the locking up of food, etc, originated with her. He has enabled her so much, I see him as more of a scapegoat for a sociopath than anything. 

October 19, 2015
12:35 pm
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Beverly
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 524
Snarking Since:
March 19, 2015

Pretty new around these parts so sorry if this has been answered a thousand times but, what does TA do for a living?

October 19, 2015
12:49 pm
avatar
Officer Meowmeow Fuzzyface
Hamcat
Meows: 142
Snarking Since:
April 30, 2015

Thanks for the recaps re: Jenna's weight, guys.  Now I understand the "locked up cheese" joke, too!  The premise behind those blog posts isn't all that bad, but in classic Jenna fashion she presents her thoughts in such an abrasive and off-putting way that she just sounds like an uncaring emotionless tool.  I think she was trying to say TA was just being helpful and honest about her weight, but he just sounds like a huge ass.  As per usual.  

October 19, 2015
3:07 pm
avatar
A Murder of Crows Feet
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 625
Snarking Since:
March 8, 2015

After people reacted to some of her stories about TA, she wrote a blog post titled "My Husband is Not a Jerk", explaining why he really had her best interests at heart. IIRC, one of the reasons he wanted her to lose weight was so she wouldn't die before he did.

I think that post was lost in the Great Internet Scrub of 2012, unfortunately. (It was 2012, wasn't it?)

formerly kissacat / the Betty Friedan of Snapchat / Giving the Internet an Annoying Hangnail / Basic Happiness Standards (I need to stop changing my name so often)
October 19, 2015
3:22 pm
avatar
crrrrunch
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 290
Snarking Since:
November 24, 2013

Jenjen_bee123 meowed

Do we have any idea why TH decided to marry her at all? I get that the power point was super convincing rolleyes But seriously, he seems like the kind of person that just wants to lead his workaholic, overly controlled life. He doesn't seem to like her or have any interest in their kids, so why did he even get married? I know 1 or 2 people that I think he seems very much like – rigid, workaholic, want every aspect of their lives in a certain controlled way. But these people didn't get married or have kids because that they are uncomfortable with the changes/flexibly that would require. Any hints as to why he decided being a husband and father was what he wanted?

PowerPoint really?



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