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That Wife's Greatest Hits
October 13, 2015
3:58 pm
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Daphne du Moneybags
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1172
Snarking Since:
August 10, 2011

The main thread often devolves into rehashing old That Wife shenanigans, particularly as new readers catch up on her history. I think it's a fair point to say can we not discuss her creepy silent videos of T1 yet again – and yet sometimes reruns are fun. So if you want to rehash older That Wife materials, have at it here!

October 13, 2015
5:06 pm
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Little Orphan Lilly and her Pragmatic Handjobs
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 684
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2011

Oh, man. There are so very many, but I gotta start this off on a high note:

 

October 13, 2015
5:32 pm
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harpie

Little Orphan Lilly and her Butterball Feet meowed
Oh, man. There are so very many, but I gotta start this off on a high note:

 

Oh god what is this?!  What am I seeing right now?  

October 13, 2015
6:46 pm
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high_educated
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
October 13, 2015

Little Orphan Lilly and her Butterball Feet meowed
Oh, man. There are so very many, but I gotta start this off on a high note:

 

Coffee out my nose. Every damn time.

October 13, 2015
7:20 pm
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That Revenue
Hamcat
Meows: 63
Snarking Since:
November 13, 2014

harpie meowed

Little Orphan Lilly and her Butterball Feet meowed
Oh, man. There are so very many, but I gotta start this off on a high note:

 

Oh god what is this?!  What am I seeing right now?  

Best response ever. This NEVER gets old. clap

October 13, 2015
9:22 pm
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Florida Stanely
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 929
Snarking Since:
May 15, 2014

ok this thread is a serious dream come true, i was lost last summer & dared not ask questions in the thread about old stuff. i had to PM a ham privately just to get a summary. anyway, i think this thread is great. often in my daily life, i'm sad to admit, i think about jenna and past things & things i've never realized before. 

i will never understand how someone can say "its easier to clean the hair up after a hair cut on an infant if you place the infant in a bath or sink full of water. we're using clippers plugged into the wall." what the f**k kind of logic is that.

Holy special snowflake, Batman!
October 13, 2015
11:59 pm
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B***hyPumpkinPicker
Hamcat
Meows: 115
Snarking Since:
December 9, 2013

I know we've all probably seen this a million times, and it's linked on the Wiki, but her PowerPoint is still SO wonderfully bizarre and hilarious.
Once more for the people in the back:
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/12DVTVd3SJWy0TQ-KgqCeblHdxIdG4jdhcBJeVyWgAgI/edit#slide=id.i6

My favourite slide:
"Priorities of money, education, career, and even “freedom to enjoy life”
come perilously close to selfishness and pride.
If a person’s first goals are self-serving,
he or she inevitably will be cautious about marrying,
because to marry is to become other-serving.
This is what is so detrimental about misunderstanding what is meant by self-reliance.
It is unwise to always delay marrying so one can reach a
vocational or financial or emotional status of independence."
(Reluctant to Marry By Victor L. Brown, Jr.)

Too bad Jenna didn't delay marrying until she reached vocational, financial or emotional independence… ie. indefinitely.

October 14, 2015
12:46 am
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A Murder of Crows Feet
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 649
Snarking Since:
March 8, 2015

B***hyPumpkinPicker meowed
I know we've all probably seen this a million times, and it's linked on the Wiki, but her PowerPoint is still SO wonderfully bizarre and hilarious.
Once more for the people in the back:
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/12DVTVd3SJWy0TQ-KgqCeblHdxIdG4jdhcBJeVyWgAgI/edit#slide=id.i6

My favourite slide:
"Priorities of money, education, career, and even “freedom to enjoy life”
come perilously close to selfishness and pride.
If a person’s first goals are self-serving,
he or she inevitably will be cautious about marrying,
because to marry is to become other-serving.
This is what is so detrimental about misunderstanding what is meant by self-reliance.
It is unwise to always delay marrying so one can reach a
vocational or financial or emotional status of independence."
(Reluctant to Marry By Victor L. Brown, Jr.)

Too bad Jenna didn't delay marrying until she reached vocational, financial or emotional independence… ie. indefinitely.

Thanks! I'd never actually read that before. It's . . . umm . . . unique.

What is the picture in slide #5? Is it human?

Slides #8 and #10 end with unfinished sentences. Very writer. Much idiomatic.

formerly kissacat / the Betty Friedan of Snapchat / Giving the Internet an Annoying Hangnail / Basic Happiness Standards (I need to stop changing my name so often)
October 14, 2015
12:28 pm
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what the fuckever

That Wife is definitely not That Miss Cleo:

 

Jenna will:

 

Jan 6th Become a facilitator “After a few months of working together, Woman Evolving was born. In my experience, Jon and Yan were right – create and share, good things will come.” (And go. See also Go Daddy domain parking space).

Jan 14th  Persevere and over “Onward and upward and forward and backward and maybe even sideways when things get hard. It’s all good as long as I’m doing something.” (As long as that doing something isn’t refactoring, spending time with her little ones or being crushed by #patriarchy)

Feb 18th Be spending a lot of time at the beach with the family “I’ve decided that 2015 is going to be the year of the beach for us.” (She subsequently went to the beach and met her new friend, Robert the nudist, took the kids to the beach after crashing them into the pavement, took a kidless trip to Cabo and basically meant to say “the year of the beach for ME”

April 23rd  Bake birthday cakes “I haven’t baked a cake for TH in the past, and I didn’t make myself one last year, but I’m going to start doing so from now on.” (She proceeded to outsource her birthday party but indeed made a craptastic #pintrestfail worthy birthday cake. See also May 25th)

 April 29th  Have a OMGEurope Greece Trip “the Asenkin sisters are going to road trip and ferry across Greece! I still can’t believe this is really happening.” (unfortunately she f**ked up on T1’s passport and had to have her OMGEurope trip shortened by a week and instead went to the exotic, off the beaten path Almafi Coast)

May 25th  Have a birthday celebration where “The women will step into long gowns, the men will patiently shrug into dressy-ish button-downs, and we’ll all meet at a beach in Carmel for dinner and a bonfire. I wanted to create an event unlike anything I’d ever seen or experienced, and that is certainly what this has become!” (if a cold & rainy illegal bonfire makes it memorable and had a teeny tiny blog post pictures 4 months after the fact then Jenna accomplished her goal)

June 12th  Wear fascinators on the regular (no further fascinator photos)

August 8th  Will be a parent who is present with their children:  “Be completely present with no worries about what came next or what I should/could be spending time on otherwise” (has had several vacations with nary a child in site)

October 14, 2015
3:26 pm
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Feeding my Self with Swavek's $$$
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 503
Snarking Since:
September 23, 2013

Still waiting to hear all about that great grandfather who was murdered trying to defend the Torah.

#lyingliarwholies

October 14, 2015
3:34 pm
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Bear With Me
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 250
Snarking Since:
May 18, 2015

Boo. Clanking Chains. Spiderweb. meowed
Still waiting to hear all about that great grandfather who was murdered trying to defend the Torah.

#lyingliarwholies

I'm right here, waiting with you.

October 14, 2015
3:43 pm
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champagne taste beer budget
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1278
Snarking Since:
December 18, 2013

OH OH

 

We can't forget Jenna's attempt to relaunch her blogging career, hardly sweetened- for non-sugary drinks where she informed us what liquor and booze meant and then proceeded to post 6-8 gross looking concoctions, most of which were high in additional sugar… Oh and how to make cold brew…. make it then microwave it!

 

http://www.hardlysweetened.com/

 

oregonian_winesmileyI love having our own forum so newbies can be reminded of Jenna's fails.

October 14, 2015
5:07 pm
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Feeding my Self with Swavek's $$$
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 503
Snarking Since:
September 23, 2013

I love Jenna explaining mixology to people who had been drinking a decade longer than her.



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