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A Practical Wedding
March 3, 2012
3:03 pm
avatar
ramonarickettes

violetbeauregard said

Totally braggy, and also wants to have it both ways–being anti "WIC" while making lots of money out of partnerships with sponsors at the same time, using the lame excuse that THESE sponsors are somehow different.

 

Meg is also the kind of person who brags about having been SO POOR and having had SUCH A HARDER upbringing than anyone else to have cred and it drives me crazy when grown women do this.

 

Yes!! I really don't get how you can claim to be all anti-industry, and then become a part of it. She wrote a damn book and is selling it right next to all the other wedding books! All of these folks have one thing in common-making money off your wedding! Gahhhh it drives me mad.

 

And when she brags about how poor she was in New York (she described it as "mice living in the couch" poor) it's infuriating. Getting by on little to nothing is certainly admirable but it's not brag worthy. She is also dyslexic and has anxiety-it's like she is just checking things off the list to make her appear more successful than everyone else. 

March 5, 2012
8:27 am
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Asia

Oh man. I always have a hard time with wedding blogs in general (Very whitewashed and white women using my culture as a party theme really grates on me), but I'm with most of the people here: The blog is a great idea, but Meg is a total jerk.

 

Her and Sarah from 2000 Wedding are like, bathing in their own f**king sanctimony. 

March 5, 2012
12:23 pm
avatar
Zooey
Cat
Meows: 45
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2012

Yes to this! I love APW but definitely get the feeling in the comments section that it's Meg's way or the highway. I've seen respectfully-written comments that gently disagree with something that she or the guest writer has said, and then she jumps all over them and acts like an immature drama club high school student. It really cheapens APW when she acts like that. Has turned me off from all posts written by her.

March 5, 2012
3:17 pm
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smd16
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 11, 2012

This is awesome! I have also googled for an APW outlet. I really appreciated APW while I was planning my wedding and still read the 'Reclaiming Wife' posts and just skip everything else. I do agree that a blog like this is really important and I recommend it all the time. But, Meg…One thing that really bugs me about her, in addition to everything else mentioned, is the way that she portrays her relationship as so special and perfect. It's impressive that anyone writes guest posts about having a crappy time after Meg has such a condescending tone about their perfect vacation, their perfect first year of marriage, their perfect way of handling money, etc.  She is definitely very KERF about comments, too.

March 5, 2012
4:33 pm
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violetbeauregard
Hamcat
Meows: 148
Snarking Since:
October 20, 2011

smd16 said

This is awesome! I have also googled for an APW outlet. I really appreciated APW while I was planning my wedding and still read the 'Reclaiming Wife' posts and just skip everything else. I do agree that a blog like this is really important and I recommend it all the time. But, Meg…One thing that really bugs me about her, in addition to everything else mentioned, is the way that she portrays her relationship as so special and perfect. It's impressive that anyone writes guest posts about having a crappy time after Meg has such a condescending tone about their perfect vacation, their perfect first year of marriage, their perfect way of handling money, etc.  She is definitely very KERF about comments, too.

This is very, very true. The message of the blog, that weddings, marriage, life, all of that is messy and complicated and not what conventional wedding sites are telling you, is seriously undermined by her condescending and know-it-all attitude. Her marriage is always the perfect example of having overcome all those problem the unwashed masses are still grappling with. I completely respect not sharing too many personal details online, and I would never blog about my own marriage, but that doesn't mean you have to then act as though your relationship is perfect.

 

I think Meg is a very bossy person by nature, and she thinks it's a charming attribute, but it's really not. I also think she is the kind of person who thinks she is much more interesting than she is. She brags about her wedding, her sense of style, her educational and professional background, all in ways that are really antithetical to the message of the blog. But furthermore, she just isn't nearly as fascinating as she is so sure she is. (Like newsflash: you are not the first person to do a degree in theater in this world, or to like, travel to Britain on your honeymoon, or whatever. So stop mentioning it in every post and tweet and whatnot as though this makes you some kind of trailblazer. See also how brilliant your "vintage" fashion sense is.)

March 6, 2012
1:38 pm
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CelloChick
Hamcat
Meows: 177
Snarking Since:
January 5, 2012

I'm glad to see there are others out there who appreciate this blog in concept but aren't so crazy about the gal in charge.  APW is probably the blog I have the most mixed feelings about — finding it during my wedding planning was a huge relief, and I absolutely devoured the wedding graduate posts during the months leading up to my wedding.  I still read it fairly often, though rarely the wedding graduate posts and never the useless "wordless weddings" (seriously, there are a million other wedding blogs to go to for picture-based posts), and I've even been to a couple of book club/APW meetups in my area.  (I even went to the local book signing event, because hey, APW did help me stay sane during my wedding planning, but I was relieved rather than disappointed when it turned out Meg wasn't going to be joining us for drinks after the event because I had visions of that turning into a Meg worship section and I was more interested in just regular sociability.)

 

What I find really odd/interesting is that when I first found the blog, a few months after Meg's own wedding, and read most of the back posts, Meg herself was a big part of the draw – I liked her indie wedding snark combined with the Miss Manners fandom (I don't always agree with Miss Manners, but more often than not I at least agree with the attitude behind her pronouncements) and actual thoughtfulness about wedding things.  And she's still sometimes funny in the comments, when she's not being overly defensive.  But increasingly I think I read APW in spite of Meg rather than because of her.  And I no longer feel that I can recommend the site to engaged friends who are stressed about their wedding, at least not without a lot of disclaimers, which is a real shame. 

I do think Meg has been very smart in how she's developed the site.  I almost never read the sponsored posts but from what I can see the approach to sponsors and advertising seems smart, and I do actually like reading Meg's posts about self-employment and developing the site just because there seem to be so few opportunities to see behind the curtain into blog business like that (the bloggers who do "day in a life" stuff that basically involves them writing a post and spending the day alternating between workouts, food, and responding to comments really don't count).  I could completely do without her, or any blogger for that matter, posting about things like Mighty Summit and life lists and the like.  And while I do appreciate the commitment to marriage equality, etc, I think I appreciated it more before it always came packaged with the hard-luck high school backstories.

March 6, 2012
1:47 pm
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CelloChick
Hamcat
Meows: 177
Snarking Since:
January 5, 2012

violetbeauregard said

I think Meg is a very bossy person by nature, and she thinks it's a charming attribute, but it's really not. I also think she is the kind of person who thinks she is much more interesting than she is. She brags about her wedding, her sense of style, her educational and professional background, all in ways that are really antithetical to the message of the blog. But furthermore, she just isn't nearly as fascinating as she is so sure she is. 

I don't hang out with a lot of theater people (or even former drama kids) but this attitude does seem to go along with it to some degree.  Is that really often the case, or am I just overgeneralizing? I have a dear friend who was also a theater major in college, and one of the few things that drives me nuts about her is her tendency to do something ever so slightly quirkyand then proclaim herself adorable for it. (In her case, this is more likely to be met with rolled eyes on her friends' part rather than a dozen blog comments lauding her for it, though.)  

March 6, 2012
11:13 pm
avatar
ramonarickettes

CelloChick said

violetbeauregard said

 

I don't hang out with a lot of theater people (or even former drama kids) but this attitude does seem to go along with it to some degree.  Is that really often the case, or am I just overgeneralizing? I have a dear friend who was also a theater major in college, and one of the few things that drives me nuts about her is her tendency to do something ever so slightly quirkyand then proclaim herself adorable for it. (In her case, this is more likely to be met with rolled eyes on her friends' part rather than a dozen blog comments lauding her for it, though.)  

 

This is why I don't hang out with former drama kids or theater people, because of exactly what you said. Sometimes I find myself in situations with a bunch of theater/art school kids and they only ever want to talk about how "crazy" they and their lives are. I  know you need a lot of confidence to be in the arts, but seriously in the real world, get over yourself!

March 6, 2012
11:24 pm
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brownie

A couple years back when I was planning my wedding, I commented on a post on a completely unrelated blog (a finance blog that had a one-off post about weddings) saying that I liked the idea behind APW but that I didn't like some of the tone and that it didn't seem especially counter-WIC to me with all the sponsored content — basically the same criticisms that people have been saying here. Meg tracked me down through my blogger/commenter profile on that finance blog to email me and b***h at me for not liking her f**king blog. 

 

It was weird, stalkerish, oversensitive, and petty. It's not as though I hijacked a comment thread on APW or emailed Meg herself to tell her that her site sucked. Heaven forbid that someone, anyone, anywhere on the internet should say out loud that they don't like APW. I couldn't take the site at all seriously after that. To each her own (unless she doesn't agree with Meg!)

March 7, 2012
6:03 pm
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smd16
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 11, 2012

Case in point: the new lazy girl's how-to guide.  They were already doing guest DIY posts (but that seems to have fallen off), so this seems like it was just an excuse to go to the beach for a weekend, act silly, and craft with friends, including photos to prove it.

March 7, 2012
6:16 pm
avatar
Semi Mormon

smd16 said

Case in point: the new lazy girl's how-to guide.  They were already doing guest DIY posts (but that seems to have fallen off), so this seems like it was just an excuse to go to the beach for a weekend, act silly, and craft with friends, including photos to prove it.

Ugh.  More pictures of Meg having the time of her life now that she's a professional blogger.  As APW brings on more staff, I'm starting to feel more and more like it's some cool-kids club that I'm not really welcome to join. 

March 7, 2012
10:09 pm
avatar
Pendleton
Hamcat
Meows: 108
Snarking Since:
October 11, 2011

Well, shucks! I just got engaged (like, on Friday Laugh) and her book was recommended to me so I JUST bought it. 

March 8, 2012
12:12 am
avatar
BABride

violetbeauregard said


I think Meg is a very bossy person by nature, and she thinks it's a charming attribute, but it's really not. I also think she is the kind of person who thinks she is much more interesting than she is. 

 

>>

Yes and YES.

I'm really glad this thread was started… If you read the comments section over there, especially when Meg's on a tangent about hauling up her own star, it's just the biggest WE LOVE MEG party. I really thought I was the odd chick out – how can I love everything about this site except the author?

 

Also, +1 about the stupidity of Wordless Weddings.

 

And… who thinks it will suck without Alyssa? I really enjoyed her writing and she was always respectful when she disagreed with someone in the comments. 



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