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A Practical Wedding
March 16, 2012
9:20 am
avatar
ramonarickettes

ohhhh i remember that one. Lauren wrote about losing weight before her wedding, and there were lots of comments that didn't go according to Meg's MASTERPLAN. I think Lauren was even crying over it. 

Don't you know that on APW, it's not about YOU, it's about MEG and her minions. Ugh. They have turned into exactly what they are supposed to be against. It's just so gross. 

March 16, 2012
12:19 pm
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Guest

Yep — that's the one! And I was super careful to be respectful and say I knew Lauren's experience was her own, but here's what it brought up for ME. (I'd been struggling with whether I should put energy into dieting or not)… And man, I got run over.

My feeling was that, wow, you did a great job creating this community that raises interesting topics. But if we shy away from robust discussion, it really takes away from it. Of course, it's not my site and that's ultimately Meg's choice. But… its just frusterating. The comments now never say anything except some version of "This! I so agree! You are brilliant and amazing!"

March 16, 2012
3:33 pm
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smd16
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 11, 2012

I felt the same way when I saw Lauren's post – she made it seem very easy to have a positive body image, get her partner to join in, lose a little weight, etc.  The comments were definitely shaming people for have different view points.

 

I just want to comment on these recent DIY posts with a big 'are you f*ing kidding me?!'. That's probably not allowed.  The posts were people explained what they did for their real wedding seemed so much more valuable.

 

I did enjoy the post about wedding moments being like the new mason jars, but I don't really get the 'worry about the artichokes' t-shirt.  Isn't worrying about the details and ignoring the emotional message the opposite of what APW is about?

March 16, 2012
3:51 pm
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violetbeauregard
Hamcat
Meows: 148
Snarking Since:
October 20, 2011

Also, I am kind of amazed that they are making such a big fuss about what is effectively a quirky wording of the message, "worry about the things you can actually change." I have nothing against that idea, but the level of hyperbole in Meg's writing has reached cringe-inducing levels. She has lost the ability to write in anything but a completely over-hyped tone.

March 16, 2012
4:19 pm
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Guest

Yeah… I don't get the artichokes thing. I thought we WEREN'T supposed to worry about all the little details. I mean, I get that those are the things you CAN control (as opposed to your emotions) which is why the WIC make a a kajillion dollars. People spend money because it helps them feel like they have control, and takes some of the actual emotional anxiety away….

 

And… um… if you don't feel ANY joy on your wedding day? Maybe something is wrong. Not that there won't be moments of annoyance/anger/anxiety/whatever.. but overall? Seems like you should aim to be more happy than not. Again, I know you can't control it, but…

 

If you have a wedding without mason jars/artichokes (?? who does this?)/whatever, NO big.

If you have a wedding completely without joy… uh. big deal.

March 16, 2012
7:27 pm
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ramonarickettes

Right on! I can't believe how many of these women write in to say how much they DIDN"T like their weddings. They are spending thousands of dollars and didn't get any joy from it? Then I am sorry, but you failed. You spent way too much on a party trying to impress everyone else when you could have just gone down to the courthouse and out for a hip burger. That's what I want to say to anyone who just spent a year planning her wedding online and then decided she didn't like it. F!

But of course Meg LOVED her wedding. She was even telling people during the wedding what a great party it was. And of course people are STILL talking about it. UGHHHHHHHH. So sad, so gross. 

April 4, 2012
12:22 pm
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ramonarickettes

Over on APW, they are talking about being poor and making things work. 

 

Of course this is one of Meg's contributions to the discussion:

MEG writes:
Hey Danielle,
I lived in the part of Brooklyn where people got shot on my street. Hint: it’s still cheap there. Our rent was $1500 for THREE people. I could never have afforded more.

Man, I really do not like her! 

April 4, 2012
1:30 pm
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astronaut mike dexter
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 878
Snarking Since:
March 28, 2012

yep, she's pretty much the reason for me not reading APW anymore.  i occasionally swing by and read a wedding grad post  - although those can tend to be formulaic.  i do hate-follow meg on twitter, though. her endless tweets about how important and busy and amazing she is crack me the f**k up.  

April 4, 2012
1:58 pm
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ramonarickettes

She actually signed something as "the girl who grew up around poverty". !!!

You know what that tells me? She didn't grow up around that much poverty, because all the people I know who grew up poor don't brag about it now! They have moved on and don't romanticize it! I hate when people romanticize being poor. It's so gross. 

April 4, 2012
3:15 pm
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smd16
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 11, 2012

I just skimmed the comments on that post because Meg posted something on twitter about it.  WTF?! She is so self-important.  Alyssa actually makes a comment (not in blue) that refers to some incident where she apparently made a comment in blue, symbolizing she was speaking on behalf of APW, and was scolded by Meg about whatever she said.  

Of the comments that I read, I really didn't think they were very offensive. Meg also keeps saying there are a ton of 'OpEd' posts that she writes where people can comment freely, but I don't really thing that's the case…

April 4, 2012
3:39 pm
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Zooey
Cat
Meows: 45
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2012

Her comments in the Richer or Poorer post were so obnoxious. Like this (part of one of her replies): "In general, I pay the bills, and I’m not willing to pay to run a site where people snark at each other or attack each other, so we stick with our no-drama commenting policy."

You pay your hosting fees and staff etc., but you wouldn't have those bills to pay if you didn't have readers there clicking/commenting.

She does not like when someone has a different opinion than her own. The comment that caused all the "controversy" was fairly respectfully written and I didn't see it as an OMGATTACK.

April 4, 2012
3:48 pm
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Ishkabibble
Hamcat
Meows: 117
Snarking Since:
March 15, 2012

So I wrote about the Brooklyn comment this morning but forgot to hit reply, so edited to say "Yeah what ramonarickettes said!"

April 4, 2012
8:13 pm
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Semi Mormon

I wonder if Meg senses that she's going to need to back up and let discourse happen naturally for the site to succeed. She's been less active in the comments section lately and, even though she copped to heavy moderating and got somewhat argumentative in the Richer or Poorer post, I notice that she didn't come back to get the last word in on every single thread, or with every poster that challenged her. I'm torn about whether or not to keep reading the site. If Meg mentions growing up "around poverty" or mentions being a bossy theater kid one more time, I think I'm done.



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