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Frustrated Wedding Vendor-Rant
April 15, 2014
9:37 pm
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SnarkingwithClippers
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2014

Maybe this is the opposite of why you guys are checking out the Wedding Blogs Forum but I’m here as an incredibly frustrated wedding vendor. The proliferation of wedding blogs and their need to publish 30+ weddings a week has lowered the standards of good design and what constitutes “special” for the entire industry. 

In my opinion 99% of the wedding or style shoot posts out there are mediocre designs, average photographs, basic flowers, paper and food with safe middle of the road fashion yet they are all described in misspelled, grammatically laughable, gushing copy as if there’s never been a cuter, prettier, sweeter, more amazing wedding. That is until the next one they have scheduled for 2pm today.

Wedding blogs outdated revenue models seem require them to build up a constant supply of wannabe calligraphers, stationers, chalk artists, floral designers, planners and my favorite “stylists” who “love” love and will pay to be in the vendor guides for the leads that they won’t get or the features they won’t get any actual clients from. Most guides are filled with vendors that wouldn’t even be considered D list at this point and more are out there everyday.

Besides paying to produce the content that these blogs run FOR the blogs, these vendors will also have their designs pinned for future use not by potential clients but by the next wave of failing wedding “professionals” that think the key to success is to copy that thing they saw on that blog because it got “published”. 

I just wish that like 85% of them would go away and that the rest would get real and understand what being an editor really means. If you've made all the adjectives mean average, what else is there to say? 

newhere

April 15, 2014
10:02 pm
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phone
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1873
Snarking Since:
April 28, 2012

I hear what you're saying. That does suck.

Seems like it's happening in a lot of industries.

aka pkjane - oonga oonga galuunga
April 16, 2014
10:21 am
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Feral Cat
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1300
Snarking Since:
September 26, 2013

Snarking, you have summed up my frustration with weddings and many bloggers so well.

 

And in order to fund the growing wedding industry, there needs to be constant reiteration that everyone MUST spend the average cost of a wedding at minimum ($30K as of March 31).  Getting married is a special event, and I'm not against weddings, but it seems like common sense to spend within your budget and to not drive yourself insane trying to outdo everyone else. Meanwhile, planning a big wedding takes so much focus on the important part: every day after "your special day".

My old username was too gross
April 16, 2014
10:56 pm
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AspartamePop
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
April 16, 2014

Had to make an account just to add to this convo! Although I love reading GOMI, sometimes critics on bloggers are a little too harsh for me to get involved this. THIS on the other hand. Yes.

 

As a wedding photographer I couldn't agree with you more! I'll admit, the flower crowns are.. kinda pretty. But EVERYONE doing the flower crowns. And that SAME one cursive font. EVERY wedding invitation looks exactly the same. It drives me crazy!

Going along with your comments, I believe that the over-posting of styled shoots, as opposed to real weddings, is giving brides so ca-razy over-expectations of what their wedding will be like. It's not like that in real life people!

April 17, 2014
1:19 pm
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TurkeyVulture
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2075
Snarking Since:
December 23, 2011

BettyDerperFrancis said
Snarking, you have summed up my frustration with weddings and many bloggers so well.

And in order to fund the growing wedding industry, there needs to be constant reiteration that everyone MUST spend the average cost of a wedding at minimum ($30K as of March 31).  Getting married is a special event, and I'm not against weddings, but it seems like common sense to spend within your budget and to not drive yourself insane trying to outdo everyone else. Meanwhile, planning a big wedding takes so much focus on the important part: every day after "your special day".

Totally this-ing all of this.

I actually used to work in the wedding industry back in the days before Pinterest and before the proliferation of wedding blogs. It seems like it was a lot more fun back then than it must be now. :/

And also, even when I was in the industry I couldn't understand why people spent so effing much money on their weddings. $30K?! Are you kidding me? Buy a car for cash! Put a down payment on a house! WTF, that is way too much money to spend on a single party, even if you're rich! And most of you who are doing it aren't!

True story: one of my brothers-in-law dropped (with his former fiancé/ex-wife) almost $30K on a fancy wedding. They got divorced six months later. He just now paid off his debt from that wedding, years later, just in time to marry his new ladyfriend. Fortunately they are doing a much more small-scale wedding! Guess he learned his lesson the hard way.

April 17, 2014
1:23 pm
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SnarkingwithClippers
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2014

Aspartame, it’s funny that you think it’s the styled shoots. If I didn’t have styled shoots I would be stuck making the same bouquet over and over again. I use those opportunities to do the work I wish clients were asking for because all they want is that same goddamned “wildflower” bouquet that’s literally been of every blog for the last 4 years until you show them something different.  I do shoots occasionally for myself as a designer though, not to get on a blog. And I make crowns a lot still, and I always think they are really pretty but I’m just so sick of seeing them or seeing really ugly, bad ones that aren’t flattering.

 

I work with pretty high-end clients who really do not give a shit if anyone sees their weddings as long as they and their guests have a great time-in fact they’d probably prefer not to have people speculating what they spend on their wedding. It’s a special variety of bride that cares about being on a blog or who duplicates a wedding she saw on a blog and fortunately they’re not my clients most of the time.  A few of those have ended up bloggers themselves if that says anything. 

April 17, 2014
1:56 pm
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lizahbee
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 258
Snarking Since:
April 3, 2013

I just wish that like 85% of them would go away and that the rest would get real and understand what being an editor really means. If you've made all the adjectives mean average, what else is there to say? 

 

clapThis is pretty much what I thought when I used to read Ruffled. Every wedding can't be The Best, you guys.

April 17, 2014
1:56 pm
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AspartamePop
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
April 16, 2014

I suppose it's more from the photographer's point of view that styled shoots can bug me. I think they are absolutely beautiful. But sometimes brides think that their wedding photographs will look just like that and often that is just unobtainable! They don't realize that unless they want to set aside a few hours, at golden hour, in a beautiful secluded location, on the wedding day – their wedding will NOT look just like a stylized shoot. It's all about the time!

April 18, 2014
4:53 pm
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TurkeyVulture
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2075
Snarking Since:
December 23, 2011

I guess I don't mind styled shoots so much, because I think any rational person will recognize that you have to stay flexible and reasonable and within a budget and retain a sense of humor when it comes to your wedding. Not expecting your real-life wedding to turn out like a styled shot where everything is under control is rational.

The problem is that so many people get irrational and obsessive when it comes to their weddings, and all the sensible expectations and flexibility go right out the window. Why? What is it about our world that makes people flip out over their weddings?

April 18, 2014
8:23 pm
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Feral Cat
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1300
Snarking Since:
September 26, 2013

^ As someone who tried to be a laid-back bride, I found that if the couple doesn't exact control, someone else will step in for you. Even then, people second guess every decision you make. It was maddening, because it's just a wedding! I know people do this with babies, house buying, etc, but maybe because everyone knows that the little details of a wedding aren't really important, they are comfortable with completely bashing your choices. The vendors were all very kind and supportive, but my in-laws, coworkers, and husband's groomsmen all had different opinions and needed to tell me all of them. I hated it. Planning a wedding was the most unnecessarily stressful thing I have ever done.

My old username was too gross
April 18, 2014
8:47 pm
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Horrificat: Chickenhead Skeezer
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1099
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2012

F**k weddings. Just go get married in Vegas. bender-dance

Horrificat is Whorrificat whore@gmail.com
April 18, 2014
9:39 pm
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Judgerson
Hamcat
Meows: 79
Snarking Since:
September 18, 2012

I thought this was going to be a hamcat complaining about the cost of a vendor but,

drinkclapclapclap

Photographer here, sick and f**king tired of taking photos of people's goddamn Pinterest fails. Maybe focus on your relationship instead of all the props you so desperately think you need in a photo.

April 19, 2014
8:01 am
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use shat youve got
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 291
Snarking Since:
December 30, 2013

YES! I love everything about this thread. 

I work for an event rental company and have so many frustrations about what the internet has done to the wedding industry and couples' expectations of what their omgspecialday will be like.

I had a bride that brought in an inspiration photo that had the caption "hanging a parachute from your ballroom ceiling is a "cheap" way to add visual interest to the space…"? WHAT? You're telling me that YOU would get on a scissor lift or really super tall ladders to rig up a PARACHUTE onto a ceiling for cheap? (Not to mention in some localities that would be majorly against fire code, you need specific rigging points in the ceiling to even make it look right, it needs to be the exact right size to fit the room correctly, and WHERE THE HECK do you even get a parachute…) No. Not cheap. 

 

Most of the time, a bride can't tell the dang difference between an inspired/styled shoot and a real wedding, which is where most of my frustrations come from..



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