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Frustrated Wedding Vendor-Rant
April 19, 2014
9:01 am
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b***hy tits
Hamcat
Meows: 79
Snarking Since:
May 2, 2013

Photographer here, too. I make a point to try to only book in weddings with clients who a) aren't having big white weddings (because I am so tired of shooting them!) and/or b) are really laid back about their photography and would prefer to have the focus of the wedding be on the wedding itself, not the pictures of it. 

 

If someone brings me a bunch of modelled, styled photos off Pinterest and says "I want this pose, this pose, and this lighting", I either set them straight or let them go. I'm developing a reputation as a relaxed, documentary photographer, which is great because it helps weed out the high-strung clients who have unrealistic expectations. Different strokes for different photographers, but I just can't stand the delusions of grandeur some people have. Urgh. Pinterest has ruined everything.

April 19, 2014
1:09 pm
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TurkeyVulture
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2075
Snarking Since:
December 23, 2011

BettyDerperFrancis said
^ As someone who tried to be a laid-back bride, I found that if the couple doesn't exact control, someone else will step in for you. Even then, people second guess every decision you make. It was maddening, because it's just a wedding! I know people do this with babies, house buying, etc, but maybe because everyone knows that the little details of a wedding aren't really important, they are comfortable with completely bashing your choices. The vendors were all very kind and supportive, but my in-laws, coworkers, and husband's groomsmen all had different opinions and needed to tell me all of them. I hated it. Planning a wedding was the most unnecessarily stressful thing I have ever done.

True. People do love to be assholes. I guess I've never had a problem telling people, "I don't care what you think; I'm doing this my way." But I recognize that most people are not as blunt and dickweedish as I am. It would be much more stressful if you felt obligated to listen to everybody's opinions and complaints.

My dear, wonderful sister whom I love insanely did have several vociferous opinions on our decision to get married several states away, and the fact that our reception (in our home city) started at 6 p.m. and was an hour and a half from where she lives. She has two little kids, so she couldn't make either trip (due to bedtimes in the case of the reception), and was rather miffed over it. She offered to let us use her little farm for a daytime reception, which was really nice of her, but good lord, why should we inconvenience every single other guest with an hour and a half drive out to the country just so she could attend our reception? Plus, "country" is not really our style, and the kids' play house and big toy and the pig pasture weren't the backdrop we envisioned for our celebration. She was pretty peeved, but she got over it quickly. I stood my ground and told her I hoped she'd make it to the reception (her in-laws live next door, so it's not like she doesn't have trustworthy sitters handy) which she didn't attend out of protest, I think.

But our reception was awesome: a slick cocktail party in a cool industrial part of Seattle. We all had a great time, and all is forgiven between Sis and me.

Writing it all out, it seems like it was a lot more drama and stress than it actually was. I never let it get to me, but pressure from the adored sister to change my plans to accommodate her young family could definitely have been a major source of stress if I weren't the kind of person to just say, "Too bad; I'm doing it my way."

April 19, 2014
1:25 pm
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SnarkingwithClippers
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2014

I hear you photographers, I do plenty of shit to get a great photo that probably wouldn't last a day out of water for a real wedding so I'm part of the problem too. I feel comfortable setting a really high expectation since I can usually deliver as long as the budget aligns with the expectation which is 100% the fault of the blogs and their everyone can do this message. If I see one more affordable flower post that details flowers that are cheap in one part of the country only but speaks to everyone. Also, if you think these bloggers can't spell in their intro copy you should see them mangle the Latin names of flowers. It's hilarious and also leaves a delightful linguistic trail you can trace when your clients start emailing about said misspelled "florals" (also not a word)

I could go so apeshit about Pinterest. My latest beef with that atrocity of copyright infringement is the discovery of dozens of new "florists" using my work as to sell their services to clients. Basically, here's what I will copy for you. I would never use another designer's work to describe my idea because you know-I have my OWN ideas. Zero barriers to entry now, you can take a 1 hour flower workshop and start a board of successful designers work and Poof-you're a "floral designer". 

Despite my extreme frustration with all this, I'm still happy that I'm attracting the clients that let me do my thing and that I don't have to rely on these blogs for anything. I'm hardly an optimist but I have to see that as a positive for the business I'm building. 

April 19, 2014
2:54 pm
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TurkeyVulture
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2075
Snarking Since:
December 23, 2011

See, I don't understand the problem so many people have with "zero barrier to entry." If somebody has a genuine talent for something and doesn't particularly need special training or a degree or whatever bullshit to do it at least as well as you do it, then who cares if there's no barrier to entry? It seems really elitist to me to declare that there should be a barrier to entry and that people should have to go through some kind of rigorous pre-qualifications to "prove" that they're worthy of entering your profession. You're arranging flowers, not performing brain surgery or practicing law.

Let your competitors' quality and customer service be their own barrier to entry. If they can't live up to industry standards and their customers' expectations, then they'll sink into oblivion anyway and you have nothing to worry about. If they can compete, even without a "barrier to entry," then welcome to the world of capitalism, I guess.

And if you're worried about assholes stealing your photos and trying to pass off your work as their own, then watermark your images.

April 19, 2014
2:56 pm
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without further adieu
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 677
Snarking Since:
June 27, 2013

I'm not in the industry but I feel like every few weeks a lifestyle blogger I read decides to go become a wedding planner or a "floral designer" or a photographer.  It made it really hard when I was planning my own wedding because I didn't trust anything I saw/read online – are those flowers in season for me too or just for you in that one zip code in this one week?  is this only an affordable dessert option only if my friend happens to be an award-winning baker or can my aunt who likes to bake make the "DIY" cake you're featuring?  will one of my bridesmaids really have time on top of her full-time job and other personal commitments to help me craft whatever pom pom crane crepe paper flower garland f**kery I want to use to drape the altar with?  

 

plus, I feel like I keep seeing brand new wedding planners who saw other people doing weddings, blogged a few styled tablescapes that got good responses from fangirls, and then decided to launch themselves as wedding planners – I know it's just capitalism, but how much are they f**king up costs and prices for the industry AND for couples who do need some help but don't want their weddings featured on SMP?

fka She Did What
April 19, 2014
5:13 pm
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SnarkingwithClippers
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2014

My issue is that these blogs give credibility by featuring unprofessional or incompetent work but based on a few of the replies here it seems that more and more people are becoming aware of how unreliable they can be. My being here on GOMI was and is about how the Blogs affect my industry and I do think they are culpable of fostering a culture of "I can do that too" when it comes to creating new wedding vendors. Unfortunately, the blogs do not receive criticism well and this was literally the only place I felt I could attempt to say what I want to say.

I love that I was able to launch my business pretty easily and grow it quickly by doing great work and making my clients really happy. Most businesses do not have the same ambitions. They concentrate on the blogs and social media aspects and sacrifice design skills and service. Though they may not be around very long they are out there undercutting prices, over promising, stealing designs and websites of established designers, providing terrible information and confusing the client base. That's my issue with zero barrier.

When I see blogs like SMP featuring these "designers" I begin to doubt capitalism because I've always told myself the same thing, their work will be the measure of their success but because of the need for tremendous amounts of content the bar is continually being lowered.

April 19, 2014
5:32 pm
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SnarkingwithClippers
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2014

SheDidWhat said
I'm not in the industry but I feel like every few weeks a lifestyle blogger I read decides to go become a wedding planner or a "floral designer" or a photographer.  It made it really hard when I was planning my own wedding because I didn't trust anything I saw/read online – are those flowers in season for me too or just for you in that one zip code in this one week?  is this only an affordable dessert option only if my friend happens to be an award-winning baker or can my aunt who likes to bake make the "DIY" cake you're featuring?  will one of my bridesmaids really have time on top of her full-time job and other personal commitments to help me craft whatever pom pom crane crepe paper flower garland f**kery I want to use to drape the altar with?  

 

plus, I feel like I keep seeing brand new wedding planners who saw other people doing weddings, blogged a few styled tablescapes that got good responses from fangirls, and then decided to launch themselves as wedding planners – I know it's just capitalism, but how much are they f**king up costs and prices for the industry AND for couples who do need some help but don't want their weddings featured on SMP?

I know what you mean. Flowers get SOOO much positive feedback on IG it makes everyone a florist. Having worked with some of the lifestyle and decor bloggers, the message they always want to send is "you can do this too" because thats what the fangirls want to imagine for themselves. Now they all sell workshops and how to's that marginalize the work that some people spend their lives practicing. Not that it's hard or anything like being a doctor or lawyer wink

When I first started getting attention, I felt weird about taking credit for the work that I did in the sense that it was sometimes really hard or took some major skills so I would downplay it and it made me more popular with the wannabes. Now that I no longer tell everyone "you can do it" I'm told that I'm standoffish, too reserved or a b**ch. What are you gonna do? 

April 19, 2014
5:48 pm
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Sister Monica Joan
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 268
Snarking Since:
May 10, 2013

AspartamePop said
I suppose it's more from the photographer's point of view that styled shoots can bug me. I think they are absolutely beautiful. But sometimes brides think that their wedding photographs will look just like that and often that is just unobtainable! They don't realize that unless they want to set aside a few hours, at golden hour, in a beautiful secluded location, on the wedding day – their wedding will NOT look just like a stylized shoot. It's all about the time!

As a fellow photographer, yes to this! Some of the brides AND mothers now have such unrealistic expectations. I get so irritated too because at the wedding I shot today, for example, the bride was getting kind of irritated cause it was wet and humid outside so we literally only spent maybe 10 or 15 minutes on couple shots and didn't do any individual shots at all! I'm not going to drag her around outside against her will but her pictures are going to suffer for it! She better like these damn pictures. 

April 21, 2014
12:33 pm
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borninamerica
Cat
Meows: 27
Snarking Since:
February 13, 2013

I am so happy I got married before Pinterest. It adds so much pressure and unrealistic expectations. I went to have a look at wedding inspiration and I cannot believe the dumb stuff people think is inspirational.

April 22, 2014
1:24 pm
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Jennabeezer Scrooge
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1268
Snarking Since:
July 23, 2013

TurkeyVulture said
And if you're worried about assholes stealing your photos and trying to pass off your work as their own, then watermark your images.

 

Watermarks don't really do much to stop that from what I've seen when binging on Photo Stealers. 

April 23, 2014
3:56 am
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Late Night Bacon
Cat
Meows: 42
Snarking Since:
January 17, 2013

Florist here too. The major issue I have is trying to reconcile the real-life cost of things with the perceptions of what's "easy" and "cheap". People come to me saying they want a "wildflower theme". They are the very first person to ever think of this, and also, wildflowers are basically free, right?  So it should be a fraction of the cost of roses. Then they show me photos of massive American bouquets with 47 varieties of floofy, delicate, hard-to-maintain summer flowers in full bloom. And oh, they think it would be lovely and informal if each of the 8 bridesmaids have a different bouquet, in a different colour. 

Okay, fine, that sounds like FUN. I would love to do that wedding. But:

a.) it's November. If you want those flowers they are going to be super expensive. I'll also have to order twice as much as I need, because they will be in terrible condition and only one stem out of 5 will be usable

b.) buying in bulk is how you save money. If I call up my supplier and try to order 10 stems of 50 different flowers, it's going to be $$$$$$$$$ and also he's going to tell me I'm insane. Dutch flower guys don't suffer fools.

c.) those tiny, intricate buttonholes with a little wisp of wheat and a sweetpea and a sprig of wild mint are going to look like something you scrape off a farmer's boot after the first hug. And then you're going to be mad at me. 

d.) on that note, for the love of god, dahlias. They shatter if you sneeze on them. They are beautiful but please, please, please chill out with the dahlias. 

I also have people coming to me with a list as long as their arm of very specific varieties of flower. Some blog of magazine told them that x has "an intoxicating scent" etc etc. Okay, well, that's a garden flower. It's not available as a cut flower. They get pissed, I guess because I didn't magically forsee their need and plant them from seed last spring. 

I love being a florist, and I love being creative and unique. I'm delighted that we've moved on from 20 heads of roses smashed together in a sphere. But there is a definite lack of reality going on, and it leads to frustration on all sides. 

April 23, 2014
5:25 am
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diveparrot
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 336
Snarking Since:
August 22, 2013

You guys are making me glad I just said to my florist "make something pretty with purple, yellow and white flowers.  Whatever you think looks best."

And it was gorgeous and we didn't spend a shit ton of money.

April 23, 2014
10:06 am
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People Pleaser!
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 682
Snarking Since:
January 10, 2014

post eaten, too bored to type it again.

Formerly "Managing My Suave" and "A Cad and a Bounder"


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