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Frustrated Wedding Vendor-Rant
April 23, 2014
10:15 am
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People Pleaser!
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 682
Snarking Since:
January 10, 2014

I play around in various plant societies with creative flower design, and I also have grown about every garden flower known to mankind in the Western Hemisphere. And I'm telling you, I'd trust most any professional florist to do flowers that I'd love becuase–I love flowers!

In a bouquet I'd say: no aestromerea (Sp?) but any other plant  is fine. Make it have interesting texture. Colors: use pinks, greens, white but I'd really like some interesting accent plants.

That's it–they could do the rest. And I would love it.

Formerly "Managing My Suave" and "A Cad and a Bounder"
April 24, 2014
9:16 am
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Late Night Bacon
Cat
Meows: 42
Snarking Since:
January 17, 2013

I probably sounded grumpier than I am about it. I do love it when brides have ideas, as long as they are realistic and flexible and willing to work *with* me to make their vision come true. And I also love it when they are really laid back with just a few preferences for colour. That lets me pick whatever's freshest and most beautiful and really pour my creativity into the job. Those weddings probably get more love and attention from me than any other, even though I don't play favourites and always do my best to give the couple something exquisite. I'm doing a wedding like that next week. I just ordered the flowers and I'm so excited to get my hands on them. It's going to be beautiful. Lilacs, viburnum, spray roses, veronica, oh man!

August 27, 2014
5:35 pm
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Animal Fat and Wilted Dreams
Hamcat
Meows: 89
Snarking Since:
August 27, 2014

heyhihello said

AspartamePop said
I suppose it's more from the photographer's point of view that styled shoots can bug me. I think they are absolutely beautiful. But sometimes brides think that their wedding photographs will look just like that and often that is just unobtainable! They don't realize that unless they want to set aside a few hours, at golden hour, in a beautiful secluded location, on the wedding day – their wedding will NOT look just like a stylized shoot. It's all about the time!

As a fellow photographer, yes to this! Some of the brides AND mothers now have such unrealistic expectations. I get so irritated too because at the wedding I shot today, for example, the bride was getting kind of irritated cause it was wet and humid outside so we literally only spent maybe 10 or 15 minutes on couple shots and didn't do any individual shots at all! I'm not going to drag her around outside against her will but her pictures are going to suffer for it! She better like these damn pictures. 

I had the bad luck to book a pedicure the same day a bridal party came in and one of the bridesmaids was complaining about her wedding photos for exactly this reason. I didn't get a good look at the pics she was showing (I'm nosy but not that nosy) but it seemed to be more of a weather issue than an issue with the photographers skills.

September 29, 2014
9:15 pm
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Trixie Belden
Cat
Meows: 41
Snarking Since:
September 16, 2014

I'm actually the mother of the bride and I am SO goddamn happy to read this thread.  My daughter is pretty level headed, but Pinterest has wrecked her as far as this wedding goes.  Part of the problem is that she's cheap (gets it from her dad) and falls down that rabbit hole of "I can do it myself, we can get mismatched china settings from thrift stores, Grandpa's homemade wine in mason jars will be perfect for favors" without really knowing what she's talking about.  She's also finishing her teaching degree while working full time, so even if she COULD do all these things, she has no time.

 

The kinda sad thing is, all those uber stylized pics and blogs capture perfectly capture who she is-the outside in a barn, cowboy boots under her dress, burlap and fairy lights personality.  So when she sees all these things that get her in her gut and give her all the feels, she also feels weird because she thinks her wedding will look exactly like everyone else's.  

 

Also, as a MOB, if you're a pro-PUH LEEZE be honest with the bride like you are here.  Because when I tell her that getting married outside in late May in Florida it's going to be hot and your makeup is going to run, the flowers are going to wilt and it rains every afternoon-she doesn't listen to me (because, duh, I'm her mom).

 

newhere  (I've been reading all over these boards for a while now, this one just had something I wanted to say-now you might think I'm a little bit nice before I start spewing on some of the other threads!)

September 30, 2014
3:11 am
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Misty Hurlington
Hamcat
Meows: 89
Snarking Since:
December 19, 2013

Late Night Bacon said

I probably sounded grumpier than I am about it. I do love it when brides have ideas, as long as they are realistic and flexible and willing to work *with* me to make their vision come true. And I also love it when they are really laid back with just a few preferences for colour. That lets me pick whatever's freshest and most beautiful and really pour my creativity into the job. Those weddings probably get more love and attention from me than any other, even though I don't play favourites and always do my best to give the couple something exquisite. I'm doing a wedding like that next week. I just ordered the flowers and I'm so excited to get my hands on them. It's going to be beautiful. Lilacs, viburnum, spray roses, veronica, oh man!

You're making me feel relieved that I took the approach I did with my florist. She had a really distinctive style, so I said that I'd like dusky tones, that it would be wonderful to have some David Austin roses if possible, and I was happy to leave the rest up to her. Part of me worried it was too vague, but she did an amazing job and hopefully it wasn't stressful for her!

October 3, 2014
7:29 pm
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Clutching the F outta my pearls right now
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1055
Snarking Since:
March 16, 2014

We were married in the early days of Pinterest, but I only used Pinterest and wedding blogs to express to my vendors what I didn't want. I believe at the time I told my wedding planner, "I don't want my wedding to look like a Cracker Barrel." No mason jars, no vintage chairs, no quirky empty frames hung in a cluster, no books as props… 

My wedding was absolutely stunning and the event team did a fantastic job. We also spent some serious cash (no regrets), and I recognize that many brides do not have the same options when planning. I really enjoyed wedding planning, because the team was SO great and professional. I was able to fully trust them to be experts and do amazing stuff. Well, except when the florist asked me if I wanted "a little razzle dazzle? A little bling?" and I replied dead pan, "Please do not put crystals on my flowers." 

My flowers and centerpieces: 

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That fall, we attended two different weddings where many of the details were inspired from ours. People who didn't even know us (but saw our pictures on FB through friends-of-friends) were asking us who our vendors were. It just goes to show that talent will still rise to the top without pay-to-play wedding blogs!

March 26, 2015
4:37 pm
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crazyjojo
Hamcat
Meows: 50
Snarking Since:
December 2, 2012

This type of shit drives me crazy! Planning a wedding is so hard. Now people have to worry about their flower designer getting annoyed.

Can't you just do your job?swhocares

March 28, 2015
10:40 pm
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cuddlykitten
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 203
Snarking Since:
January 7, 2014

diveparrot meowed
You guys are making me glad I just said to my florist "make something pretty with purple, yellow and white flowers.  Whatever you think looks best."

And it was gorgeous and we didn't spend a shit ton of money.

Me too.  "I want blue and white.  What kinds?  Whatever is in season and has worked well for weddings.  I trust the professional florist more than myself"

November 18, 2015
4:18 am
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blind computer from another planet
Hamcat
Meows: 95
Snarking Since:
June 17, 2015

diveparrot meowed
You guys are making me glad I just said to my florist "make something pretty with purple, yellow and white flowers.  Whatever you think looks best."

And it was gorgeous and we didn't spend a shit ton of money.

I'm reading this forum with interest now that dd has started her planning for her wedding.   She's booked a venue a year from now and set a budget and that's about all she has time to deal with. The planner and the florist want her to pick a color scheme and a "basic vision" (whatever that is) and all she's been able to come up with is "Here's the venue, my gown will be ivory, my fiancé wants to wear a bow tie, the maid of honor is a redhead, and I like pastels. Knock yourselves out." I'd think being given that level of discretion would be appreciated by a creative person, especially one who's had a lot of over-specific, pinterest-obsessed clients, but I gather it's causing some consternation. 

 

November 18, 2015
4:33 am
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blind computer from another planet
Hamcat
Meows: 95
Snarking Since:
June 17, 2015

TurkeyVulture meowed

 

My dear, wonderful sister whom I love insanely did have several vociferous opinions on our decision to get married several states away, and the fact that our reception (in our home city) started at 6 p.m. and was an hour and a half from where she lives. She has two little kids, so she couldn't make either trip (due to bedtimes in the case of the reception), and was rather miffed over it. She offered to let us use her little farm for a daytime reception, which was really nice of her, but good lord, why should we inconvenience every single other guest with an hour and a half drive out to the country just so she could attend our reception? Plus, "country" is not really our style, and the kids' play house and big toy and the pig pasture weren't the backdrop we envisioned for our celebration. She was pretty peeved, but she got over it quickly. I stood my ground and told her I hoped she'd make it to the reception (her in-laws live next door, so it's not like she doesn't have trustworthy sitters handy) which she didn't attend out of protest, I think.

But our reception was awesome: a slick cocktail party in a cool industrial part of Seattle. We all had a great time, and all is forgiven between Sis and me.

Writing it all out, it seems like it was a lot more drama and stress than it actually was. I never let it get to me, but pressure from the adored sister to change my plans to accommodate her young family could definitely have been a major source of stress if I weren't the kind of person to just say, "Too bad; I'm doing it my way."

90 minutes?  She didn't drive 90 minutes each way and leave the kids with her in-laws to be at her sister's wedding? When my kids were little I'd have LOVED to have an excuse to leave the kids at Grandma's house for one night and go have a nice dinner, some free booze, a slice of cake, dance with my husband, and maybe even spend the night in a hotel.  And she not only didn't jump on the chance to do that, she actually said she would prefer having someone else's wedding in her backyard?  That's just crazypants.  

    

February 18, 2016
2:59 pm
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shway
Kitten
Meows: 1
Snarking Since:
February 18, 2016

Feral Cat meowed
^ As someone who tried to be a laid-back bride, I found that if the couple doesn't exact control, someone else will step in for you. Even then, people second guess every decision you make. It was maddening, because it's just a wedding! I know people do this with babies, house buying, etc, but maybe because everyone knows that the little details of a wedding aren't really important, they are comfortable with completely bashing your choices. The vendors were all very kind and supportive, but my in-laws, coworkers, and husband's groomsmen all had different opinions and needed to tell me all of them. I hated it. Planning a wedding was the most unnecessarily stressful thing I have ever done.

THIS. 

I'm in the midst of planning a wedding right now, and I had to tell my family if they were going to bash my choices, they better follow up with a solution or I'm not listening. It took a mini-committee to agree on centerpieces, which was ridiculous because no one remembers them in the end. 

April 8, 2016
1:32 am
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runninggal81
Hamcat
Meows: 106
Snarking Since:
May 4, 2012

Misty Hurlington meowed

Late Night Bacon said

I probably sounded grumpier than I am about it. I do love it when brides have ideas, as long as they are realistic and flexible and willing to work *with* me to make their vision come true. And I also love it when they are really laid back with just a few preferences for colour. That lets me pick whatever's freshest and most beautiful and really pour my creativity into the job. Those weddings probably get more love and attention from me than any other, even though I don't play favourites and always do my best to give the couple something exquisite. I'm doing a wedding like that next week. I just ordered the flowers and I'm so excited to get my hands on them. It's going to be beautiful. Lilacs, viburnum, spray roses, veronica, oh man!

You're making me feel relieved that I took the approach I did with my florist. She had a really distinctive style, so I said that I'd like dusky tones, that it would be wonderful to have some David Austin roses if possible, and I was happy to leave the rest up to her. Part of me worried it was too vague, but she did an amazing job and hopefully it wasn't stressful for her!

Maybe it's because I'm in the design world, but I want to just give our florist a price parameter, what we need, and some guidance (i.e., I hate lotus seed pods and want them nowhere near our wedding). I trust her as a professional and will let her do her thing.

October 21, 2016
12:30 pm
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Snarky McLurkson
Cat
Meows: 12
Snarking Since:
October 16, 2016

crazyjojo meowed
This type of shit drives me crazy! Planning a wedding is so hard. Now people have to worry about their flower designer getting annoyed.

Can't you just do your job?swhocares

These designers and planners upped their own value so much, and now they act like an authority instead of a service! And also, even when I was in the industry I couldn't understand why people spent so effing much money on their weddings. $30K?! Are you kidding me? Buy a car for cash! Put a down payment on a house! WTF, that is way too much money to spend on a single party, even if you're rich! And most of you who are doing it aren't!

True story: one of my brothers-in-law dropped (with his former fiancé/ex-wife) almost $30K on a fancy wedding. They got divorced six months later. He just now paid off his debt from that wedding, years later, just in time to marry his new ladyfriend. Fortunately they are doing a much more small-scale wedding! Guess he learned his lesson the hard way.



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