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Weddingbee (new thread)
October 21, 2012
9:48 am
avatar
Kihnfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 345
Snarking Since:
September 30, 2012

The local boards on TK tended to be friendlier and less crazypants (check our the etiquette boards for the vilest of the vile – a bunch of those Rigid Bridgets even came over to my local board to tell us We're Doing It Wrong). On the locals, the vibe was actually closer to WB, with the occasional snide or nasty comment. Say someone who's already planning is thinking of having a courthouse wedding in the next month because her fiancé needs to get on her health insurance soon, but still plans to have the formal wedding they've been working for. On WB, they'd say, "Go for it! You and your fiance  deserve it!" When this happened on my Knot local, the responses were unanimously: "Don't you dare call your later celebration a wedding. Your wedding date was when you went to the courthouse. You can call the celebration a vow renewal, but don't expect gifts or to have a shower thrown for you – technically you don't deserve them, since you're already married. If I went to a wedding for a friend who I later found out already was married, I would never talk to her again.")

 

I had a tendency of being blunt, and some of these girls told me, when I complained they were attacking me and my wedding, "dear, you're the pot calling the kettle black." The difference was my snark wasn't ever directed at one poster. While I despised most of the girls there, I didn't have the guts to tell one of them that her DIY card box was hideous, or another that she was rude and inconsiderate to her guests for still having her one-hour ceremony outside, on the catering hall's paver patio, on the hottest, most humid day of the year. (Move that shit inside! You told the men to wear tuxes!

 

The most insane moment on my local was when one bride posted that she was distraught that not all of her guests "covered their plates" – it's an unspoken rule in this part of the country. While most said, "yeah, they don't deserve thank-you cards! And don't talk to them ever again!" another said, "if you're expecting guests to pay admission to your wedding, you're throwing a wedding for the wrong reasons." That reasonable comment got ripped ("oh, mommy and daddy must have paid for your wedding so of course you don't care that some people were cheapskates.") No one ever says they're expecting their guests to pay for their expensive platinum weddings, but this comment is a close enough confession.

 

Now, hardly anyone posts on my Knot local. I wonder if they've gone somewhere else, but it's definitely not WB – their local for my area always has been dead. The WB ethos just doesn't go with the gaudy ballrooms that dominate weddings here.

October 21, 2012
11:03 am
avatar
Lindsay Weir
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 6364
Snarking Since:
December 5, 2011

Sisterhood of Ham said

The local boards on TK tended to be friendlier and less crazypants (check our the etiquette boards for the vilest of the vile – a bunch of those Rigid Bridgets even came over to my local board to tell us We're Doing It Wrong). On the locals, the vibe was actually closer to WB, with the occasional snide or nasty comment. Say someone who's already planning is thinking of having a courthouse wedding in the next month because her fiancé needs to get on her health insurance soon, but still plans to have the formal wedding they've been working for. On WB, they'd say, "Go for it! You and your fiance  deserve it!" When this happened on my Knot local, the responses were unanimously: "Don't you dare call your later celebration a wedding. Your wedding date was when you went to the courthouse. You can call the celebration a vow renewal, but don't expect gifts or to have a shower thrown for you – technically you don't deserve them, since you're already married. If I went to a wedding for a friend who I later found out already was married, I would never talk to her again.")

 

I had a tendency of being blunt, and some of these girls told me, when I complained they were attacking me and my wedding, "dear, you're the pot calling the kettle black." The difference was my snark wasn't ever directed at one poster. While I despised most of the girls there, I didn't have the guts to tell one of them that her DIY card box was hideous, or another that she was rude and inconsiderate to her guests for still having her one-hour ceremony outside, on the catering hall's paver patio, on the hottest, most humid day of the year. (Move that shit inside! You told the men to wear tuxes!

 

The most insane moment on my local was when one bride posted that she was distraught that not all of her guests "covered their plates" – it's an unspoken rule in this part of the country. While most said, "yeah, they don't deserve thank-you cards! And don't talk to them ever again!" another said, "if you're expecting guests to pay admission to your wedding, you're throwing a wedding for the wrong reasons." That reasonable comment got ripped ("oh, mommy and daddy must have paid for your wedding so of course you don't care that some people were cheapskates.") No one ever says they're expecting their guests to pay for their expensive platinum weddings, but this comment is a close enough confession.

 

Now, hardly anyone posts on my Knot local. I wonder if they've gone somewhere else, but it's definitely not WB – their local for my area always has been dead. The WB ethos just doesn't go with the gaudy ballrooms that dominate weddings here.

Now I want to know where you're from!

October 21, 2012
11:12 am
avatar
CeeMI
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 666
Snarking Since:
June 6, 2011

The only experience I had with TK was my "month" board, or the other brides getting married the same month I did. For the most part people were pretty level-headed, but there were moments

I never really got in to the WB boards but do mostly enjoy the blog, even if some of the bloggers are kind of crazy. Right now, the ones I don't totally dig are Miss Toadstool, Miss Genie, Miss Wizard, Miss Potion, Miss Coach, and Miss Panda (wow, I guess that's a lot). I dig Miss Gray Wolf and have liked Mrs. Treasure, Mrs. Fox, and I'm sure others I'm not thinking of.

October 21, 2012
11:13 am
avatar
Kihnfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 345
Snarking Since:
September 30, 2012

pdx said 

 

Now I want to know where you're from!

 

New Jersey, where every wedding is a platinum wedding (because that's how 95% of the wedding-suitable venues here are decorated and run). It's kind of a time warp to the early-/mid-2000s here. 

 

My wedding was at a tastefully decorated country club-type place (not a commercial catering hall), and I'm sure some of those girls on my Knot local would have thought my event was too "casual"! (We even had a photo booth, which some NJ knotties said "doesn't belong at an elegant event like a wedding." But don't think they're snobs – they often hire DJ-MC teams that bully guests into dancing!)

October 21, 2012
12:24 pm
avatar
Guest

There's one blogging right now who wrote a post about how she pitched a fit last year on THANKSGIVING because she and her fiance had determined that their wedding would be $15,000 and they would cover a third, his parents a third, and her parents a third, and her parents balked at the 5k they were expected to contribute. It basically led to two big family fights ON Thanksgiving and this girl was like, "Eventually we got it all sorted out, yay." When people jumped on her in the comments everyone was like "BE NICE, CLEARLY SHE SAID EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FINE, JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T PAY FOR YOUR WEDDING DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S A BRAT." But she's TOTALLY a brat. Then I checked her age: 22. Doh. This is one of many reasons why 22 year olds should maybe not get married. 

I mentioned in another thread I have a love/hate relationship with the blogs most bees go on to write after their weddings are over. Bless their hearts- they're all just so uninteresting. They move on from wedding projects to house projecs. They WAY overuse the word "incorporate." They think it's cute to decorate their home in their wedding colors. Interior design to them amounts to having 1000 wedding photos framed and hung on their walls. Its, for most of them, as if the wedding was the most interesting thing that will ever happen to them. And yet, they continue to blog, with nothing to talk about. 

October 21, 2012
1:59 pm
avatar
KAS
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 7917
Snarking Since:
June 6, 2011

Coach Clodhoppers said
There's one blogging right now who wrote a post about how she pitched a fit last year on THANKSGIVING because she and her fiance had determined that their wedding would be $15,000 and they would cover a third, his parents a third, and her parents a third, and her parents balked at the 5k they were expected to contribute. It basically led to two big family fights ON Thanksgiving and this girl was like, "Eventually we got it all sorted out, yay." When people jumped on her in the comments everyone was like "BE NICE, CLEARLY SHE SAID EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FINE, JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T PAY FOR YOUR WEDDING DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S A BRAT." But she's TOTALLY a brat. Then I checked her age: 22. Doh. This is one of many reasons why 22 year olds should maybe not get married.

 

That is exactly the sort of entitled crazy shit that I can't deal with on WeddingBee.  You don't tell your parents how much they're going to contribute to your wedding; you let THEM decide and you show gratitude for whatever they give, $5 or $5,000.  It's not like the economy is all that great, some people are really struggling these days!

October 21, 2012
2:46 pm
avatar
Guest

KAS said

Coach Clodhoppers said
There's one blogging right now who wrote a post about how she pitched a fit last year on THANKSGIVING because she and her fiance had determined that their wedding would be $15,000 and they would cover a third, his parents a third, and her parents a third, and her parents balked at the 5k they were expected to contribute. It basically led to two big family fights ON Thanksgiving and this girl was like, "Eventually we got it all sorted out, yay." When people jumped on her in the comments everyone was like "BE NICE, CLEARLY SHE SAID EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FINE, JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T PAY FOR YOUR WEDDING DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S A BRAT." But she's TOTALLY a brat. Then I checked her age: 22. Doh. This is one of many reasons why 22 year olds should maybe not get married.

 

That is exactly the sort of entitled crazy shit that I can't deal with on WeddingBee.  You don't tell your parents how much they're going to contribute to your wedding; you let THEM decide and you show gratitude for whatever they give, $5 or $5,000.  It's not like the economy is all that great, some people are really struggling these days!

You say that kind of reasonable shit on Weddingbee and it's like you're 4Chan. 

October 21, 2012
3:06 pm
avatar
Struggle Nachos
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1595
Snarking Since:
August 15, 2011

Cee My Internets said

The only experience I had with TK was my "month" board, or the other brides getting married the same month I did. For the most part people were pretty level-headed, but there were moments

I never really got in to the WB boards but do mostly enjoy the blog, even if some of the bloggers are kind of crazy. Right now, the ones I don't totally dig are Miss Toadstool, Miss Genie, Miss Wizard, Miss Potion, Miss Coach, and Miss Panda (wow, I guess that's a lot). I dig Miss Gray Wolf and have liked Mrs. Treasure, Mrs. Fox, and I'm sure others I'm not thinking of.

I read way too much of Miss Toadstool's posts yesterday. I'm fascinated how a Mexican girl goes about planning an American influenced wedding. Mainly I'm annoyed that she keeps bringing up traditions and then saying, "that holds no meaning to us, we're not doing it that way." Also, she keeps saying it's a small wedding, but 250+ is not small to most of her audience. I don't know average size in Mexico though.

I used WB in the final months of planning. There were some hopeful threads and blog posts like, "how much do I tip the caterer?" but mainly it just seemed show-offy. Show me your e-ring, show me your band, show me your dress, hair, shoes, etc.

luna (OG) | Anything for Selenas (FKA)
October 21, 2012
4:27 pm
avatar
Kihnfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 345
Snarking Since:
September 30, 2012

luna said

Mainly I'm annoyed that she keeps bringing up traditions and then saying, "that holds no meaning to us, we're not doing it that way."

 

Ah, so it sounds like either she's one of those brides who thinks she's so special and modern and intelligent because she's not doing "traditional" things, or a bride who has to act all smug about not doing "traditional" things). eyeroll I despised those brides, just as much as I despised the brides on my Knot local who used "because it's traditional" as their reasoning. (I don't have a problem with people doing things that are "traditional" or "non-traditional" – they should give a good reason as to why they made their decision so they don't sound like mindless bridebots. If you're doing a bouquet toss, explain by saying it's because you think it's "fun"/"cute"/"something I always wanted to do since I saw it in that movie when I was a kid", not "because it's traditional." If you're not doing a bouquet toss, reasons like "it's antiquated"/"it's annoying"/"it's not my thing"/"it takes up time that could be better be used for dancing" work – not "because I don't want to do traditional things.")

 I used WB in the final months of planning. There were some hopeful threads and blog posts like, "how much do I tip the caterer?" but mainly it just seemed show-offy. Show me your e-ring, show me your band, show me your dress, hair, shoes, etc.

Or my favorite, "show me your boudoir photos!" yikes

October 21, 2012
4:50 pm
avatar
citycougar
Cat
Meows: 48
Snarking Since:
March 30, 2012

What's the tally on WB bloggers who are now divorced?

I never got into the WB forums like I did TK forums.  I used the local to research vendors, then got sucked into a national board of smart "high educated" ladies keeping it real and funny, and 4 years later, I consider many of them real life friends and we get together and rent a huge house once a year.  We've since vacated TK/TN after some truly awful technology changes.

October 21, 2012
5:00 pm
avatar
Kihnfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 345
Snarking Since:
September 30, 2012

citycougar said
What's the tally on WB bloggers who are now divorced?

 

Dumpling (OMGmom), for starters.

October 21, 2012
5:12 pm
avatar
citycougar
Cat
Meows: 48
Snarking Since:
March 30, 2012

creampuff (stinkerpants)

lovebug (elliquent….ellie, I know you read GOMI, love your writing on the new blog)

candy corn

October 21, 2012
5:16 pm
avatar
citycougar
Cat
Meows: 48
Snarking Since:
March 30, 2012

I do wonder how much all that intense, public focus on the event planning and material aspects for one day might blind somebody to the relationship red flags that will matter the most after that one special day.



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