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Adulting is hard, y'all
November 29, 2015
7:48 am
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Spectacular Pubic Meltdown
Hamcat
Meows: 149
Snarking Since:
November 12, 2014

Lady Danger meowed

I guess I missed the tampon/couch thing, but I caught myself up. How vile. What the f**k is wrong with her???

I have a vague memory of the phrase "tactical velvet" and I don't feel okay about it.

November 29, 2015
1:39 pm
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Lady Danger
Hamcat
Meows: 66
Snarking Since:
November 18, 2015

Ew. JFC.

November 29, 2015
3:03 pm
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bees and lesser primates
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 710
Snarking Since:
August 17, 2014

Someone mentioned in the old thread that Marianne's life is like an episode of a children's show. I was watching some Daniel Tiger show this weekend with my boyfriend's two year old niece and they sang a song called "think about what you're gonna do, then choose the clothes that are right for you." I immediately thought about Marianne's inability to glove properly. The kitten on the show refuses to take her tutu off even when it's inappropriate, which is basically Marianne with tiny vests lol

LOVES BRUNCH
November 29, 2015
4:34 pm
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Lady Danger
Hamcat
Meows: 66
Snarking Since:
November 18, 2015

I had a little time on my hands today, and caught myself up on the Marianne's period/couch part of the old thread. I read a little further, and Hannah showed up and started to sass everyone. Good times! What an exciting week that must have been to be on GOMI. lol

November 29, 2015
4:59 pm
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Beauty Wedge
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 297
Snarking Since:
July 17, 2014

Ick…I still can't believe the b***h just bled all over a couch.  One of the most revolting things I have ever read. puke

November 30, 2015
12:00 pm
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Thirty Something Toddler
Cat
Meows: 28
Snarking Since:
November 27, 2015

Funny you should mention Daniel Tiger. They have another song about "if you have to go potty, stop and go right away." They don't mention that you shouldn't use the couch instead, because that would insult even a 2 year old's intelligence.

November 30, 2015
5:06 pm
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just reading
Hamcat
Meows: 116
Snarking Since:
March 31, 2015

I follow Marianne on FB and she actually seems quite sweet and I would probably like her if I knew her in real life, but my god, her ineptitude is painful to witness. Can't feed herself, can't pack her things, lives in a constant state of panic over everything, whether no matter how inconsequential that thing may be.  It's staggering that *she's* the one with their shit together in that relationship. Her husband must be the human equivalent of a slug.

November 30, 2015
10:56 pm
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CHECK THE f**k SHACK!
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 414
Snarking Since:
January 13, 2015

I've always thought of Horizontal Ed as being the immature, unmotivated type. She's mentioned more than once how she out-earns him by quite a bit, their income is 75% from her. He seems to struggle with depression and managing life even more than she does — she controls all the money, for example, and he wasn't on their bank account, etc. He seems to do whatever she tells him. I imagine it's a match made in heaven! drool

 

How he'll manage to pack up their shit and move remains to be seen.  smiley-eatdrink055

December 1, 2015
8:54 am
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pingity1
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 952
Snarking Since:
May 3, 2014

Horizontal Living should be someone's username. Carry on.

December 1, 2015
3:10 pm
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Apric**t_Forever
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 920
Snarking Since:
December 13, 2013

HUGE sha_clap2sha_clap2sha_clap2sha_clap2sha_clap2sha_clap2 to whichever ham posted the link to Marianne's "formal dinning room" piece. I had completely forgotten about that and all of its ugly, unsanitary glory.jaw-dropping

 

Seriously, I am sure our constant abuse is part of the reason she posts almost never on XO these days, but my god that shit was crazy, mind-boggling and I admit it fun to snark on.  Remember when she got antsy adding feet to things? OMG YOU GUYS I JUST REALIZED, NOW THAT SHE HAS MOVED MARIANNE WILL FINALLY LEARN WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS WHERE IT'S COLD!!!!

formerly Kittenwithoutawhip but changed for LOLs
December 1, 2015
4:08 pm
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Cask of Amontillado
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1593
Snarking Since:
October 3, 2014

Apric**t_Forever meowed
Seriously, I am sure our constant abuse is part of the reason she posts almost never on XO these days, but my god that shit was crazy, mind-boggling and I admit it fun to snark on.  Remember when she got antsy adding feet to things? OMG YOU GUYS I JUST REALIZED, NOW THAT SHE HAS MOVED MARIANNE WILL FINALLY LEARN WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS WHERE IT'S COLD!!!!

I reaallllllllly doubt that Marianne reads GOMI but damn, the comments on her articles when she was a Weekend Editor were like 80% straight haterade, and she definitely read those because she would make remarkably measured replies occasionally.  I wondered how she possibly found it worth it – I'm sure XO was paying her like two shekels per month to be this wildly unpopular whipping girl and take all this abuse in the comments.  Her pieces really are COSMIC, UNBELIEVABLE f**king garbage, though, so I don't blame people at all for pointing out how stupid they are.

December 2, 2015
11:07 am
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Lexminster Abbey
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1039
Snarking Since:
March 2, 2015
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xoMarci xoStaff • in a few seconds
Alison, I have a very serious request: Can you please write a story on how to wear socks? I literally don't know how to wear socks.
How do I sock??lmaolmao

Doctor Kilgrave, renowned child-rearing expert.
December 2, 2015
12:06 pm
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Thirty Something Toddler
Cat
Meows: 28
Snarking Since:
November 27, 2015

Lexminster Abbey meowed

Avatar
xoMarci xoStaff • in a few seconds
Alison, I have a very serious request: Can you please write a story on how to wear socks? I literally don't know how to wear socks.
How do I sock??lmaolmao

JFC, Marci, that's a new low in adulting fails.

Up next, a detailed tutorial on how to wipe your ass properly, because the staff weren't sure how. Literally.

Glad to see Allison back. She writes good fashion articles that I haven't read a million times before, and seems to actually have her shit together.



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