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XO Bios
March 22, 2016
4:08 pm
avatar
Sweet Summer Child
Cat
Meows: 37
Snarking Since:
December 2, 2015

Since we're all familiar with the **quirky** XO Bio, I thought it would be fun to start a thread where we can all come up with our own.  Don't forget to mention how much you love your cat and that you are a super sparkly "freelancer".   An example…

 

Sweet Summer Child is a former molecular biologist who left the lab to pursue her dream of being a freelance writer.  She enjoys pumpkin spice anything and watching Cartoon Network with her furry companion, Brewster.  You can follow Sweet Summer Child at (insert link to shitty, self-serving blog with entries that make you question the author's sanity here). 

 


They are all the same, only different.  drool

March 22, 2016
10:43 pm
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Lexminster Abbey
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1039
Snarking Since:
March 2, 2015

This was mine from last time we played this game:

 

Lexminster Abbey has lived in Vancouver her whole life, but enjoys the few chances she gets to travel. She studied fine art in school and ironically put that knowledge to good use by going into accounting.

In her spare time, she can be found snuggling on the couch with her dog, catching up on Netflix and the New York Times crossword, and enjoying a nice tall glass of Dr. Pepper.

She enjoys reading, collecting random craft supplies and has a minor obsession with all things science fiction and fantasy.

She has a strange habit of holding her breath whenever she's concentrating really hard, and while she doesn't know when it started, she works hard to remember to BREATHE!

Doctor Kilgrave, renowned child-rearing expert.
March 22, 2016
11:03 pm
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Too Emotional to Pack Utensils
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 460
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2012

'Too Emotional To Pack Utensils' can usually be found singing about her favorite types of chocolate, knitting erotic scarves or making collages out of her self-harm scabs. She used to be an accountant, but then realized that she was too creative to be contained by a desk and followed her dream of becoming a writer. She has been published on Tumblr, Elite Daily, and her own blog. Follow her on twitter to hear about what her burps taste like.

March 23, 2016
11:17 am
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Benedick c**terb***h
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1188
Snarking Since:
May 9, 2014

Lexminster Abbey meowed
This was mine from last time we played this game:

 

Lexminster Abbey has lived in Vancouver her whole life, but enjoys the few chances she gets to travel. She studied fine art in school and ironically put that knowledge to good use by going into accounting.

In her spare time, she can be found snuggling on the couch with her dog, catching up on Netflix and the New York Times crossword, and enjoying a nice tall glass of Dr. Pepper.

She enjoys reading, collecting random craft supplies and has a minor obsession with all things science fiction and fantasy.

She has a strange habit of holding her breath whenever she's concentrating really hard, and while she doesn't know when it started, she works hard to remember to BREATHE!

Oh man, I can't find mine! When did we do these? I'd like to look over my old one and perhaps do some hardcore "editing".

Fondly,
Benedick Cunterbitch
March 23, 2016
12:17 pm
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generic "Hated It!" comment
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1583
Snarking Since:
May 23, 2014

Benedick c**terb***h meowed

Lexminster Abbey meowed
This was mine from last time we played this game:

 

Lexminster Abbey has lived in Vancouver her whole life, but enjoys the few chances she gets to travel. She studied fine art in school and ironically put that knowledge to good use by going into accounting.

In her spare time, she can be found snuggling on the couch with her dog, catching up on Netflix and the New York Times crossword, and enjoying a nice tall glass of Dr. Pepper.

She enjoys reading, collecting random craft supplies and has a minor obsession with all things science fiction and fantasy.

She has a strange habit of holding her breath whenever she's concentrating really hard, and while she doesn't know when it started, she works hard to remember to BREATHE!

Oh man, I can't find mine! When did we do these? I'd like to look over my old one and perhaps do some hardcore "editing".

I think the original ones start here: http://gomiblog.com/forums/lifestyle-bloggers/cat-marnellxojane/page-1605/

I thought they were a lot of fun the first time around. I think actual xoJane bios have gotten worse than anything we could come up with at this point. Twin Peaks.

fuck me gently with a brain tumor
March 23, 2016
12:36 pm
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Skeptical Duckface
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 673
Snarking Since:
November 3, 2014

Skeptical Duckface was once a pencil-pusher who left that menial role to follow her dreams of being a SAHCM ( stay at home cat mom ) and full time blogger. When she's not writing about the adventures of Mr. Fluff McStuff or her travel excursions with her wonderful and handsome boyfriend she can be found binge watching Netflix, making crafts to sell on Etsy(insert link), and following the latest foody instagrams. 

 

ETA: Something else I've noticed a lot with the author bios is that they include links to blogs, twitter accounts, etc that sometimes haven't been updated or used since like 2014. What is the point of linking to your blog if you actually never use it?

March 23, 2016
1:40 pm
avatar
Sweet Summer Child
Cat
Meows: 37
Snarking Since:
December 2, 2015

Skeptical Duckface meowed
Skeptical Duckface was once a pencil-pusher who left that menial role to follow her dreams of being a SAHCM ( stay at home cat mom ) and full time blogger. When she's not writing about the adventures of Mr. Fluff McStuff or her travel excursions with her wonderful and handsome boyfriend she can be found binge watching Netflix, making crafts to sell on Etsy(insert link), and following the latest foody instagrams. 

 

ETA: Something else I've noticed a lot with the author bios is that they include links to blogs, twitter accounts, etc that sometimes haven't been updated or used since like 2014. What is the point of linking to your blog if you actually never use it?

Well, two year old brilliance is still brilliance.

March 23, 2016
2:01 pm
avatar
Staircase Wit
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 334
Snarking Since:
January 21, 2015

Benedick c**terb***h meowed

Oh man, I can't find mine! When did we do these? I'd like to look over my old one and perhaps do some hardcore "editing".

http://gomiblog.com/forums/xojane-xovain/cat-marnellxojane/page-2907/

It was the day you got to be a Feline Porklord! drunk

April 28, 2016
12:25 pm
avatar
Sweet Summer Child
Cat
Meows: 37
Snarking Since:
December 2, 2015

This chick has got to be trolling with this bio, right?  RIGHT??

 

Sadie Baker is a young businesswoman turned gypsy whirlwind author. A free spirit and hippie at heart, Sadie's passions include whimsical writing, free-form teaching, building with natural and repurposed materials, and spiritual development. When she's not tapping away at the keyboard, Sadie can be found shin-deep in a gooey batch of cob or running a miniature broom through her son's wild and wonderful golden locks.

 

drooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrool



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