Lifestyle Blogging

Glennon Doyle Has Fallen In Love For Realsies

The Momastery show rolls on, and in her continuing efforts to copy Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon has now announced she is in love with a woman.

After I told Craig, the first thing he said was: Holy shit. Is this what all the Indigo Girls has been about? I said, WHOA. I DON’T KNOW…MAYBE?

Indigo Girls? Seriously?

Of course Glennon, being the famehound she is, couldn’t just fall in love with a brutiful teacher or accountant or lap disciple. She had to  find someone famous.

Her name is Abby. You might recognize her from soccer. She was one of the best players of all time…

Since Ellen is no longer available, Glennon decided to suddenly “get” what love is all about by attaching herself to soccer star Abby Wambach. Now don’t worry about the kids – Glennon says the kids, parents, and their girlfriends “have family dinners together – all six of us — and Abby cooks.” Then she tells her monkeys in semi-vague terms that she no longer gives any fingercuffs what they want or what they think.

It has been my job for so long as a leader in this community to care deeply about what you think and feel about me and the way I live my life…And now it is my job as a leader not to concern myself too deeply about what you think and feel about me- about the way I live my life.

She concludes by saying they have “decided that we’re going to keep a whole lot of us private” and assuring everyone she is “deeply, finally, FINE…JOY! I’m so happy.”

  1. longoverdue

    Such a Liz Gilbert wanna be. Diminishes the credibility of them both.

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    • kitzykat

      Since when have either of them had any credibility?

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  2. LifeHappens

    " We have family dinners together – all six of us -- and Abby cooks. (She is an AMAZING chef because Jesus loves me)."

    The above made me spit my coffee -- Abby is an amazing cook because Jesus loves Glennon. ??? Seriously LOL!

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    • Buddy

      Wait, she eats food now?

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    • Purple21

      That reminds me of a wedding speech where the bride said "We'd like to take a moment to thank God for the special gift of the beautiful weather and the fantastic flowers. Don't the bouquets look great?" As if God was some really versatile friend with a knack for flower arranging.

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      • Living Absolutely Selfishly and without Self Awareness

        I work at a preschool in a church and see signs around the building that say, "GOD provided the funds for the kitchen through John Doe" Sorry generous John! God gets first billing and a larger font.

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  3. Sweetie Darling

    *eyerolling* so hard on the Indigo Girls comment. It reminds me of college when (according to the story she told) my sorority sister's father asked her if she was a lesbian because she asked for Melissa Etheridge's "Yes I Am" CD for Christmas. I don't even think we knew, or cared, about ME's personal life then. We were just brainwashed by the radio's continual playing of "Come to My Window".

    I wonder if they'll end up on Oprah -could there be a Love Warrior Revised in the works?

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    • Well all we have to do is wait and see what Elizabeth Gilbert does next. If ole Lizzie puts out another book we can expect a new one from Glomastery a few months later.

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  4. the m word

    a bit sad. I don't follow Wambach very much, but there were so very sweet moments during the world cup. Wannabe and spouse looked so happy then

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  5. epic thigh gap

    .... so should the woman with her face in Glennon's lap be suspect now?..... (just kidding)

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  6. Elegant Baby Turtle

    Be f**king right back, I have to go call my [straight] mother and tell her she made me queer because she played a lot of Indigo Girls when I was a kid.

    God damn it. I hate this Oprah crowd.

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    • Right? I mean, no matter what your sexual preferences Indigo Girls is just objectively awesome music.

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  7. atlast

    This is going to be good. Pull up a chair and break out the popcorn, cuz Glennnon doesn't know the meaning of the work privacy.

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  8. Bitchy Waves

    Abby Wombavh is married. Right? I'm confused by this blogger. She doesn't care that she's married?

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    • I *think* both of them just got out of their marriages like 3-6 months ago.

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    • craptacular2

      I thought the same, quick google search reveals abby divorced 2 months ago and glennon 3 months.

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      • dolphin

        she said they separated 3 months ago but the divorce probably isn't final.

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  9. epic thigh gap

    ***clutching pearls a bit**** will no one think of the children? Divorce- first same-sex girlfriend- these are big adjustments for the kids no matter how enlightened one is

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    • Apeeling Attire

      Not getting the nopes? Divorce is hard on kids, generally. And when your narcissistic mother is dating a woman mere weeks after separating from your father (who was the only real grown-up in your family)...yeah, that would be a lot for even the most well-adjusted kid to handle.

      (If you check out the Momastery thread, it seems like G and A were together by the end of August, which puts them together within a couple of weeks after she announced she was leaving Craig.)

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  10. Carefully Curated Collards

    '....a leader in this community'? Who refers to themselves as a leader?? The ego.
    I listened to Ani DiFrano, which according to my dad made me a BIG lesbian.

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    • Anchor Aweigh

      haha me too, CCC, me too.

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    • A Leader in this community.

      CCC is no more. A good user name comes along only once, maybe twice a year.
      Moment seized!
      Now excuse my while I go about not concerning myself too deeply about what you think

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    • Floating pizza

      Aww Ani defranco, I forgot about her.

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  11. moekay

    Abby wouldn't be too bad looking as a man.

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    • Snapping My Zoodles

      Gtfo for real with that homophobic bs

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    • Direwolf is my Spirit Animal

      f**k off.

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      • moekay

        Geeze people, pleases chill. I barely know Momastery and don't know Abby. I saw a picture of them on Huffington Post and thought he (she) was cute. Before reading the article!

        Not a homophomic reaction at all - I have more gay friends than straight.

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  12. Pop of Nude

    Someone here predicted this!!!

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    • Yeah the forum thread called this months ago. Now I'm trying to figure out what publicity stunts are left for her to pull so I can update the spread and get my bet in.

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      • A Leader in this community.

        After reading up on both, and mainly seeing Abby's brush with the law, I say in 6 months they co-write a book #LoveSaviors. Glennon self-congratulates herself on saving herself and of course Abby. 6 weeks after the books release Abby and Glenn-o break-up.
        After 2 days of intense self-reflection and unanswered calls from Oprah Glennie falls in love with a grocery clerk and pens #PricecheckonLove. The book gets turned into a Hallmark Movie of the week.

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        • our carefully laid plans

          I heart the way you think. Ty for the laugh. I see her falling for someone who does that reluctantly guru/motivational shenanigans, they can tag team their brand of envy-our-amazingness-no-really-we-want-your-envy. (All while gaslighting and perfecting lap time and their intense listening facial expressions.)

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      • Apeeling Attire

        It was the necklaces. The necklaces gave them both away. The sleuth game has been strong in the Momastery thread lately!

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      • Fall

        Can she find a way to become an immigrant or a person of color?

        Because she's got: Addict, Alcoholic, ruined woman (affair, breautiful strength), forgiving wife, separated, reconciled, divorcing, and now bisexual or lesbian?

        Thats a wild ride, Glennon. All before 40 no less.

        I don't care if she's dating a man or a woman~ introducing the person you are dating (let alone all of this initial necklace and "finally finding love" stuff) to your kids 3 weeks after you separate is simply asshole behavior. If this was Craig with a new live in "love" parading around in front of the kids people would be crucifying him. Instead her "Monkeys" trip over one another with the head pats and LOVETALK.

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        • kittyhow

          Don't forget Lyme disease, when it was all the rage.

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  13. photoshoplies

    Glennon is offended they call her a "Christian Mommmy blogger." Does she understand that nobody gives a shit unless it makes an interesting story. SAHM who is churchy and who comes out as gay or bisexual is what makes people curious to read the story. Abby is famous. Glennon is only famous among her monkeys.

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    • realdeal


      And, for someone who is not trying to publicize their new relationship (ha!) would think her complaint would be that this was a headline in the news. Nope, her complaint is that the description of her wasn't grand enough.

      And don't get me started on the impact this has on her kids.

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    • Dame Helen Chichester

      I follow Huffington Post Women on Facebook and there are a bunch of comments from her minions taking issue with her being referred to as a mommyblogger instead of a "New York Times Bestselling Author and founder of a non-profit that has raised millions of dollars for the needy." Glad to see she's sticking with gratitude and humility.

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