Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Is Excited To Flirt With College Kids

Natalie Holbrook, is what, celebrated her wedding anniversary yesterday by posting a moving love letter to the man who makes her lifestyle possible. Oh wait, no she didn’t – she posted a weird seal clapping statement about how much fun she’s going to have with the college boys.

The good news is that Brandon, Professor The Holbs at WSU, officially a cougar again (go cougs!), will training the brightest young minds this fall in the ways of the Excel spreadsheets, making me the official MILF of the accounting department. (Yes it does.) This means I get to practice my flirting skills on the youth of America again.

Which makes me a cougar, too! (Get it?)

Saying she’s “done been married twelve years” she goes on to tell the world that being a cougar and flirting with “the youth” is “[s]uch a bright spot on my horizon”. She concludes by wishing her husband a “Happy ambliversary!”




  1. JennaPeePants

    anigif_enhanced-buzz-12519-1355503590-2.gif

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    • catatonic with ennui

      x 1000.

      WTF lady????

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  2. cingria

    Eep.

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    • GreekDrachmas

      And also: Wut??

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      • clone stamp the BS out of your life

        And also: Dafuq?

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  3. tvsociety

    I'm impressed that she's already managed preemptively to make upcoming "back to school" and "welcome new faculty" dinners be awkward as hell for her husband and his colleagues!

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  4. Cauliflower Apologist

    I have a friend who likes to refer to herself as a MILF, and it always makes me cringe. Isn't your MILF-iness supposed to be something OTHER people assign to you? Declaring it yourself sounds really, really conceited to me.

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    • The Sort of Human Person Who Enjoys Pumpkin Spice Scented Feminine Products

      By declaring yourself a MILF, aren't you essentially saying you want to f**k yourself?

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    • Fancy Eleganza

      She's a MILF, all right: A Moron I'd Like to Forget.

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    • not a gift

      Is it possible she doesn't know what MILF stands for?

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    • Witchy No Poo

      Reminds me of this diet:

      http://www.amazon.com/The-MILF-Diet-Transform-Deliciously/dp/1451655681

      "A true milf is confident, sexy, and radiates natural femininity. By eating whole, plant-based foods, you, too, can find balance and dynamic health, and unleash your inner MILF."

      (I lost my appetite after I read that intro so it really works.)

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    • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

      This reminds me of a dude-bro who introduced himself to me by saying, "They call me Big Papa." I gave him the slow blink and deadpanned, "No they don't." Judging by his friends' laughter, I was right.

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      • World of Ham

        Please accept these twenty high-fives from me.

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    • Isabeau d Anjou

      I was just going to ask about referring to one's self as a MILF. Seems inconsistent with the meaning. Plus... EW!

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  5. The only F Nat will get will be a F'in flaming bag of dog crap on the porch

    She is unreal. You're old, Nat. No one thinks you are cute and the (tee hee) cute BOYS think you are desperate and scary, you skeletor wh*re.

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    • KAS

      Seriously. There comes a time when all of us must accept that our ship has sailed. Once you are married with small child(ren), you are almost certainly on that ship. Let go, Nat. Let go.

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      • LaverneandHurling

        As much as Nat might think her milkshake still brings all the boys to the yard, these students will, at best, be polite to her. Which she will interpret as flirting because they're into FRAWNCH OLD WOMEN.

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    • shank

      Uh, I just checked (because I've never heard of her) and she just posted about turning 33 this year, so f**k off with that "old" mess. I don't know enough about her to say if she totally sucks, and I sure don't understand the desire to flirt with college age kids, but she's definitely not old.

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      • candy beans

        I'm closing in on 50, so I agree-- not old! However, from a college student's perspective......Old? Pretty much. I mean, when I was in college, my instructors raged from 30's to 60's, and I basically saw them as a.....fairly homogenous clump of professors.
        I also have NO memory whatsoever of meeting, wanting to meet, or speculating about MY PROFESSORS' SPOUSES. Were they MILF?? Or whatever the guy equivalent is?? I have no idea, and didn't care. How on earth does Nat think she's going to be in close enough proximity to Brandon's students to flirt with them? God, I truly shudder to think.

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      • Uh, yeah, to an 18-21 year old college student Natalie is old. Surely you were college age once and remember thinking those 30+ year olds who always tried to hang with the college kids were old and gross. To a social group barely out of their teens anyone over 30 is old, especially if they're married with kids.

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        • Vainglorious Poop Weasel

          Why any 30 year old would want to hang out or flirt with a teenager is beyond my comprehension anyway. I mean, ew.

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    • Skinny Jeans for Jesus

      Skeleton wh*re! I literally loled.

      My husband calls me a milf.... But we don't have kids. So Yeahhhhhh....think he might be trying to tell me I'm an I appropriately dressed old lady

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    • It's Called a Fashun Blog, Todd

      knocked_up_bouncer.jpg

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    • The only F Nat will get will be a F'in flaming bag of dog crap on the porch

      Yeah, I'm exactly her age and 33 is old to be flirting with traditional aged college boys. So as old as my 97 year old grandma? No, but old enough to quit trying to be a skankerella. Guess I should have elaborated on Old.

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  6. tvsociety

    Although his position is likely salaried and therefore more stable than an adjunct, as a clinical assistant prof he's outside of the tenure stream and at the mercy of budget cuts as well as department politics. She might learn the hard way that if she wants a real shot at being "the professor's wife," his rep matters. And since she insists on attaching her identity to her husband's profession, then she should realize that hers matters too.

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    • Delusions of Adequacy

      She has no interest in being a professor's wife. She would be happy as a clam if he lost his job because she probably thinks it would mean they could move back to Brooklyn because she is much New Yorker, such city girl.

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      • Ominous Frog Noises

        Just you wait. She'll be complaining about Pullman not even a week after moving there. It's a small college town on the Palouse prairie, Nat-there's pretty much nothing there your SO FRAWNCH self will like.

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    • Sally Ride's 100 Tampons

      Yeah, that post has red flags all over it for administrators at the college. Also, gross.

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    • swimminginvinegar

      I am sure it has been covered but people can google his name or hers and come up with him
      a. Dog strangling
      b. his depression
      c. her insanity
      d. all of the above

      I can imagine that this young men she so wants to hit on will google prof. hobs and find all this crap out.

      Methinks he won't get asked for a second year. Or semester.

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      • LickedRandisCake

        Why? They are employing him now. They certainly could have seen all that stuff BEFORE hiring him, right?

        I have no faith in anyone anymore. I know people who have lost out on jobs when a background check shows they had a DUI at 18 (and they are 40 now with no further issues) and dog stranglers get hired on with a hearty handshake and a shit eating grin.

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        • Douche Baguette

          Quite so. Dog stranglers should never be hired in any capacity, except maybe for janitorial positions — and only if the other janitors are of a forgiving nature.

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          • janitor defence fund

            wtf - why should janitors be saddled with the rep of dog stranglers?

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            • Gluten-Free Cat Lady

              Agreed. Janitors do invaluable work. They're not shitty just because they sometimes deal with shit. That's f**ked up.

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              • Douche Baguette

                OK, you guise. I shall amend my earlier comment to "Dog stranglers should never be hired in any capacity. Period."

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        • facebookoutrage

          My husband is a tenured prof at a private university and has participated in the hiring of faculty and they basically do 2 things - verify the person's vita and talk to personal references. At my husband's school, when they hire new faculty a committee is formed by the department hiring and the people on the committee interview and whittle down the candidates and then give the provost's office 2 candidates that are acceptable. If no one on the committee digs into that stuff, no one does because I guarantee you the provost's office doesn't. They just hired someone last fall for this academic year. The committee was my husband and two other guys who are heavy researchers and do nothing but teach and research and couldn't give a crap about someone's personal life. My husband has never read a blog in his life so no way would he think to do any digging. In the time my husband has been employed they went through an accreditation renewal and one of the requirements was that faculty provide transcripts for their terminal degree. It was uncovered that a number did not even have the PhD they claimed to have, some employed for many years.

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          • Douche Baguette

            The heck? In my work for the Australian Government, all permanent employees have to provide the original of any academic credentials. It's mind-boggling that actual universities don't require academic transcripts.

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            • facebookoutrage

              The way the hiring cycles work, they typically hire in the fall for the next academic year. Many new tenure track faculty are finishing up their PhD and are set to graduate in the spring and start work the next fall. So they are hired on the basis that they will have received their degree when they start working. But in the past there was never a process to verify that they did in fact graduate. It's in place now at his University but I think it happens in a lot of places. Depending on the organization accrediting a university or college, they may not look at this very closely.

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          • cowboy junkie

            You're right facebookoutrage, however my University just fired a professor for reasons I won't get into specifically but was uncovered through online investigation of his social media (something similar to the sit. of people making racist remarks on facebook or twitter, deleting, but then having people screengrab and publish it more widely) - and now our selection committees have to specifically address that. We don't really address it so far, we just talk about how we need to address it and we all nod and doodle and then move on. But while academia and research fields have been pretty lax in tracking that (who has time, we're above all that, etc) the day is coming when that's going to be more widely addressed. And honestly I've got mixed feelings about that. I don't want to be held up to such scrutiny that my personal and professional lives are one in the same, but I've been subject to a lot of academic laxity in terms of assholes, perverts, abusive personalities and whatnot being given free reign because -- (who has time, we're all above that).

            In the case of someone's wife being the pervy student oggler, I don't know. I see the risk as more lack of respect for the prof by the students than a job security issue, provided she isn't actually sleeping with the students.

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    • Purple21

      My high school art teacher (male, in Canberra, Australia) did a centrefold for Cleo magazine. It caused quite a sensation, but not a scandal. Life was much simpler when we didn't have the Internet to tell us what to worry about.
      But she's asking for trouble if she's promoting herself as available and needy. While the majority of students will think "ick", there will be at least one who will think "fair game." And that's usually the sort of person you don't want to mess with.

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  7. Helen Van Patterson Patton

    The official MILF of the WSU accounting department is like the lamest announcement I've ever heard. Aim high Natalie-whoever-the-f**k-you-are. Granted I have never been a college boy nor did I ever take any kind of accounting class, but seriously the last thing on my mind when I was in college was hoping my prof's spouse was f**kable.

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    • tvsociety

      The bulk of college students won't give a second thought to their professors' personal lives. But there will be one or two who might bother to dig around and that's when he'll run into trouble... Especially if any of them have an ax to grind over a bad grade.

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    • DJ Roomba

      I had a professor whose wife wrote sex advice articles for a living. Even then, no one was interested in his personal life.

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      • Delusions of Adequacy

        I always wonder. People say "if you Google him" so I figured, I guess that's something people do. The only time I look up a person is if I or a friend am going to see a new physician. I wouldn't think to Google my professor or colleague or boss.

        But apparently this is something people do? I don't know if I think it's weird or if I feel like an idiot for not doing it myself.

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        • porkchacho

          Well, sometimes you're searching for a particular article or comment by your professor...and the next thing you know, you've found their hand-drawn furry corn.

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    • cowboy junkie

      As a prof I'll tell you that my students google the shit out of me, it's completely normal, they're used to having a shitton of constantly updated life info of their friends and family and celebrities et al at all times via facebook and instagram, and when they like you or hate you or you give a hard test or someone mentions you on yikyak or they see you running on campus or in the gym - they dig. My students have dug up youtube videos of me in some sport event from 10 years ago, stuff about my child, stuff about a board I'm on, running race times and future events, times I'm mentioned by others, etc etc etc. It's all pretty chill (they'll email me to ask if they can volunteer at the board organization, or say they're running the same race as me or that they know someone who knows someone who knows my child)
      --- but ---
      I guarantee some student will get a wild hair at some point and google their prof and find his wife's blog and read this and start spreading it around. It's too weird not to! Ick. "Practice my flirting skills with [his students]" is really, really skeevy. If that were a man saying that about female students etc etc etc.

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      • tvsociety

        Her blog is definitely google page rank 1 for his full name. It made me want to check my own first page results (since my students do often find and add my linked in during the term when I'm teaching them).

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    • whatevertrevor

      This gives us great insight into her focus during college.

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  8. I feel like she thinks she sounds breezy and fancy-free and like such an omgjoker you guys, but she just sounds stilted, vaguely hostile to her husband's job (still), and terribly ambivalent about the anniversary itself. The post was clearly meant to be a two-parter, but it's kind of "HUCK HUCK HUCK oh yeah and I'm married to this guy who teaches and I'm gonna flirt with his students, hahahahahahahHAHAHAHAAH happy anniversary."

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    • That about sums it up, yeah.

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    • Delusions of Adequacy

      I can see her backpedaling (because she f**king medals in backpedaling) by saying it was a big joke and people just read it wrong and of course she has no plans to flirt with co-eds.

      I believe, 100%, that when she says "[s]uch a bright spot on my horizon" that she means "I f**king hate that Brandon dragged me back here, I hate this, and all I have to look forward to is being a sexy mom and flirting with students". I also fully believe that she really thinks she is sexy and that young men will flirt with her. It's the same as she truly believes she's a writer, creative, and trendsetter.

      She is, in fact, delusional.

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      • I don't think she actually plans to flirt with students. I do think she plans to say "Well, when we lived in NYC..." until she runs out of breath.

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      • She seems to have a big chip on her shoulder about her amazingness being wasted on the plains of Idaho. She's so weirdly focused on being the hip cool sexy not-like-these-fat-small-town-moms hot faculty wife from New York City. It's super cringey.

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        • tvsociety

          It's a delusion of grandeur to assume that anyone he works with would otherwise give a shit about faculty spouses (unless they're also faculty). Though I guess if she keeps making enough of a spectacle they'll have to?

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        • Delusions of Adequacy

          What is she, 32? I know I'm only a couple of years older than her but I can never remember her age because she acts like a gd 14 year old. She wasn't amazing in Brooklyn. She didn't impress in Europe (save when she made an Anne Frank joke and the impression was not positive).

          I don't follow a lot of bloggers but I assume a lot are like this, thinking they are way more than they actually are. Natalie is a ham sandwich on her best day and a stale piece of white bread on most days.

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          • For some reason I thought she was pushing 35 at this point? I can't remember. Either way she is more than old enough to know that joking about playing slap and tickle with students at her husband's place of work is not cute.

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            • April

              She's 32. The only reason I know is because our birthdays are 5 days apart. So she's not old!!! ;) Although she is old enough to act like an adult.

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          • JFA

            She looks so much older than 32.

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            • Mrs Dalloway

              Yeah. When I googled imaged her I assumed she was in her 40s.

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        • InnitThough

          This is like the grown up, vaguely weird Mean Girl version of that kid in school who gives themselves a try hard nickname.

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          • I'm picturing her walking into some university function and seeing the other more MILFy wives, and then carrying on like George Costanza shouting "I'm supposed to be T-bone!"

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    • Beret Full of Fail

      Not to mention she said, "It's MY anniversary." Not "our." She couldn't be more checked-out of that marriage if she tried, and she's spent the entire year trying (hot Parisian dudes, anyone?)

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      • whatevertrevor

        YAS! I had the same thought.

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    • RedundantUsernameUsername

      Also there are female professors in that accounting department. Why aren't they the milf's of the accounting department?

      I wonder if she's feeling inferior to his female colleagues thst also have children...

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  9. Miss Anne Thrope

    jennifercool.jpg

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    • Glen Coco

      Jennifer Coolidge for prime minister or president or boss of everything.

      tumblr_lzxacwzaSp1r06y8xo1_500.gif

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      • Mike Flugennock

        Oh, dear GOD. I remember that scene...

        "If they didn't build the little train, how could they get the idea for the BIG one?"

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    • Mike Flugennock

      "What do you call the OTHER one?"
      --Benny Hill

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  10. crappy at everything

    shaking_head_breaking_bad.gif

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  11. Weight of White Privilege

    Well now. Someone certainly thinks highly of herself, doesn't she?

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  12. Official MILF of the Accounting Department

    Also, this calls for a new user name!

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  13. Weight of White Privilege

    Also, her husband looks nothing like Chris Pratt in that last photo she posted. Do not insult Chris Pratt that way, Natalie.

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    • Vesta Rose

      Perhaps she meant he looks like A PRAT. Because any resemblance to Chris Pratt is just not there...

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