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Hey Natalie Jean Is Moving Back To Idaho

womplife

Hey Natalie Jean, has a loft in Brooklyn, is apparently leaving Brooklyn.

Moscow.
The Holbrooks are moving back to Moscow, Idaho.
BECAUSE THAT IS JUST HOW THE UNIVERSE LIKES TO PLAY ME

In a totally believable statement she claims she is “giddy with excitement” right after opining that “Brooklyn I am not done with you!…Tub? Are you going to sit there and let this happen?” Natalie goes on to say she is “soooo getting chickens this time” and “a goat!!!!!!!”

Since about 95% of her online persona/identity is wrapped up in her omgbrooklynloft and being a Brooklyn hipster creative I look forward to seeing what persona she takes on after her move.




  1. in soviet russia dog strangles you

    Maybe this explains why there is zero evidence that Holbs lives in the loft. Maybe he's been in Idaho.

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  2. Truth hurts, dick-licker

    Do we suspect this is why she is letting her hair grow out? I was certain that after her trip to Paris she would have bangs and a bob in no time b/c hello, FRAWNCH.
    My vote on the new persona is gluten-free "earth mama".

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    • in soviet russia dog strangles you

      There is nothing FRAWNCH about Idaho. Idaho don't care about her Saltwaters or her baskets or buckets or whatever the f**k is on her feet.

      I picture Katie Granju's chickens and then I picture Natalie and oh god.

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    • Uvabird

      She will have drive to Coeur d'Alene for Frawnch fries.

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  3. FrancoisD

    Real life doesn't give a shit about your online persona.

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  4. bunk

    So...the North America book tour is back on?

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    • Sparkly Crystal Chandler

      Yes. It starts in Moscow and then goes to Moscow and then finishes at the Barnes and Noble in Moscow.

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      • harpy

        Do they even have a Barnes & Noble in Moscow, Idaho?

        Seriously I know nothing about Idaho.

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        • Sarah Ate Two Tacos But I, Kath, Had Lots of Hose

          Barnes & Noble used to own a lot of campus bookstores, I think. I believe they got rid of them, though.

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        • secretmole

          Moscow Idaho is a pit, a Podunk pit. I had a friend who moved there from Boise. It has one main street, which is called main street, with little shops and eateries. Unless it has changed since the 90s, you couldn't pay me to live there!

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        • Sparkly Crystal Chandler

          They used to have a B&N til it closed because...Moscow, Idaho.

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  5. Louise

    I'm going to have to start reading her again. I can't wait to see what version of Natalie she becomes in Idaho. I'm guessing she'll start every conversation in Idaho with "When I lived in Brooklyn..."

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    • Mockingbored

      ...and finish with, "Just something I picked up in Paris!"

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    • mysterygirl

      She's going to roll this into a whole Green Acres thing ....

      FRESH AIR!
      TIME SQUARE!

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      • Matching Adult Sized Care Bear Undies

        This comment made my night.

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  6. Mockingbored

    Natalie moving to Moscow, Russia would have been so much more interesting.

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    • scarletbegonia

      Idaho has rather a large number of oddball scary outsider groups, doesn't it? Survivalists/preppers, white nationalists, biker gangs, meth cooks...I can't wait to see her next persona!

      ETA: that was supposed to be a new comment, not a reply to Mockingbored's post.

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      • FrancoisD

        I lived in North Idaho for six years. Yes, they have some of that, but not as much as people think. It is actually a good place to land if you give it a chance and don't mind more than a whiff of Portlandia pretensions. But it ain't Brooklyn.

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        • burstpipes

          "It is actually a good place to land if you give it a chance and don’t mind more than a whiff of Portlandia pretensions."

          Don't mind? I think she will clutch that "more than a whiff" to her bony chest and hang on like grim death. At least while she tries to figure out who to be next.

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      • Gluten-Free Cat Lady

        How is a Jewish Korean Parisian like her going to be safe there?

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    • a true artist

      I always thought that she tries to make it sound like Moscow Russia in a sly way. Like one post was all about Moscow but didn't mention the Idaho part. SUCH SIDE EYE.

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      • AlbieQuirky

        Worst production of The Three Sisters ever!

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    • princess feelings

      Yes, indeed, it would have.

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    • harpy

      I'd read the shit out of a blog about Natalie living in Moscow, Russia.

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      • Polyester Sweatshop Schemes

        Holy shit I would totally be there for that too. This nutcase would be up against it in the real Moscow! Hahahahaha.
        images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQfEjXfBKvVZD4WHRCOYXzfTsCq49LtYkqcwwqwUa8qcye32wIBaw

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  7. Curator of my Children's Privacy

    Well, at least she has enough f**king overalls for her transition from wannabe hipster to wannabe homesteader.

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    • joydivider21

      this.

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    • harpy

      Every day she can just throw on her Hunters and a sack dress and head out to the fields.

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  8. Salted Caramel Everything

    I'm a Professor's wife. I'm a Tax Attorney's wife. WHAT f**kING ERA IS THIS? Who the hell describes themselves by their partner's profession?

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    • tvsociety

      THIS!!!!!

      Also, I'm a professor (i.e. me... not my husband) and there's no way they haven't known about this for ages OR this is a visiting gig because searches have wrapped up over winter in the majority of cases.

      As an aside, I wonder if a tenure-stream or non-tenure-stream professor in Idaho will make enough for her to SAH? I guess it depends on whether her blog still generates enough income and/or they pay to keep a "pied-a-terre" in Brooklyn like Messi promised she'd do when she headed to Indiana?

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      • EarlyEarthquake

        At my (state) university, Business School tenure track 9 month faculty make well over six figures, but non-tenure track do pretty well too, plus there's always grants & research money & summer school. I think the Holbrooks will have plenty of money for bees and making jam and supporting Nat's "work."

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        • tvsociety

          It's true that the pay at a state school can be adequate but I'm doubtful that it will be enough to cover two residences (presuming she's not done with Brooklyn yet, as she says). State school salaries can vary hugely and U of Idaho salaries (which are public) seem to be on the low end. From a quick skim of FY 2015: accounting (in the business school) has instructors (non-tenure stream) making between $50 and $60k and associate (tenured) profs make almost double. There's no assistant prof level data available but salaries are always lower pre-tenure. These numbers are almost equivalent in the law school.

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    • People without jobs of true identities of their own? I'm pretty sure I've never described myself as a Sysadmin's Wife lol.

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    • Your Tampa is Showing

      BRB, updating my resume to include boyfriend's job titles. Maybe I should include my dad's too.

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    • Speshul Sneauxflake

      The only woman I know who did that went from her father's house to her husband's house at the ripe old age of 22 and had an agreement with her husband before they married that she wouldn't have to work. Then again, she's absolutely bat shit crazy and probably feels like she's "winning" because she got some dope to take care of her for the rest of her life.

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      • #petmommywars

        But blogging,and mommying, and redecorating, and good wifing IS work...(insert whiny voice)

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  9. AlbieQuirky

    Holy shitballs. I mean, holbsy shitballs.

    Good for Strangles if teaching tax law and accountancy is his dream, I guess.

    At least the little boy will have a room with walls now.

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  10. Thank god, that kid will get his own room with a door and privacy and a sense of autonomy in his own space.

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  11. Like Did Bacall

    Will they do a zany cross country drive, ala Jordanshackle Glampants?

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    • Apeeling Attire

      *waits with bated breath b/c Jordo's cross country drive was sooooo much snarky fun*

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  12. sad flat pancake boobs

    I live in Moscow and I'm enraged. I can't wait to see this b***h at farmer's market acting like she owns the place and starts spouting shit about how it's a tiny hick-town that she discovered.

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    • #petmommywars

      I cracked up when I read this. I just picture the dust up at the farmer's market, and then the forum topic - sad flat pancake boobs and natalie jean throw down!

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      • sad flat pancake boobs

        HA, gawd. I feel like I need to chime in here and say a few things about Moscow since I do, like, live here:

        1) IDAHO IS NOT IOWA OR THE MIDWEST. It's also not Oregon or Washington, and I won't go as far to say it's as great as those true PNW states.

        2) yeah there are some white supremacist groups here (google Ruby Ridge in Sandpoint, ID if you're curious), but they tend to hide away in the mountains and we forget about them until shit like Rachel Dolezal happens.

        3) Moscow, for its size, IS a great place to live. Is it a great place for sad flat pancake boobs/Natalie!? No- and here's why. Someone said earlier that people from Moscow will not care if you're from New York and think you're cooler than cool. Moscow has MANY successful entrepreneurs, Pulitzer winning writers, and cultured residents who are here because they CHOOSE to eat at the Co-Op, run on Moscow Mountain, eat at Maialina pizza, and drink coffee at Bucers or One World. There's also an amazing clothing consignment store where I got my Danskos for $20 practically new. Downtown really is only 2-3 blocks down Main street, but it has a lot of punch in its quaintness. A lot of people here have traveled around the world and have multiple post baccalaureate degrees. For its size, again, it truly does have a small but passionate group of artisans because of the two universities. The other thing about it, though, is that no one lives the way they do- granola crunch and all- to validate themselves as "cool" Portlandia types- it's all genuine as f**k and they can definitely tell poser from the real deal (mostly because most middle aged adults I know in Moscow haven't even heard of IG or Twitter yet and are too busy LIVING to be validating themselves on the internet.) She'll get eaten alive if she tries to meddle with the real chicken owners.

        4) Idaho is a beautiful state. Moscow is beautiful. Idaho's politics suck and their public education is pretty appalling, but I can imagine a lot worse small towns to live in who don't have two large state universities and close big cities to be in. Moscow's High School is a great public school but as a whole, Butch Otter can f**k himself because he doesn't give a rat's ass about Idaho kids' education.

        5) That being said, it's no NYC and I can't wait to watch what happens. I've made the best of it because I wanted to and genuinely love my simple life. Also, I've seen the rental ad and she lives within seconds of my front door. I should have expected as much.

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    • Polyester Sweatshop Schemes

      We shall be expecting updates, or perhaps even a blog/twitter feed/parody (think "Marilyn Dimwit") of your own? Again, I would totally read that.

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      • sad flat pancake boobs

        :D :D :D it probably goes against policy to be a mole for GOMI, but. It's tempting. We know Nat has read all the forums and knows I'm here. HI NATALIE, YES. IM LOOKING OUT FOR GOMI.

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        • Ramen Not Salmon

          Eh, it's not like you're moving to Idaho just to spy for us. If she moves into YOUR turf, fair game. (Though I think taking pictures would cross the line, imho.)

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  13. Merri

    Isn't she a Mormon mommy blogger? Why isn't she wearing her G's?

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