Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Wants You To Stop Making Assumptions About Her Fertility

Naomi, mother of 3, is once again subwhining about her silent struggles to conceive. In a post about how she has spent the past 4 years breastfeeding 3 successive babies, Naomi attempts to salve the feelings of any women suffering from infertility by implying she knows their pain.

for example, i’m not one of those lucky ladies who blinks and suddenly is pregnant…when someone starts talking about how “…and then i was pregnant with twins and we weren’t even trying!”…i try to make myself feel better by telling myself, “well naomi, you’re basically a milk maid, so at least you have that!”

When a commenter pointed out that she has, in fact, had 3 children in the past 4 years, so maybe dry crying about infertility is a bit tone deaf, Taza shut her right the buck down.

it seems you are making a lot of assumptions about how long it took us to get pregnant for each of our children and that you are assuming you have all the details about each process for our pregnancies. i’m not trying to insult anyone else who is trying to have a baby (i know firsthand how hurtful women can be to each other). on the contrary, i recognize that women all have their own difficulties and burdens to deal with. your comment is hurtful and insensitive to my own experiences and i wonder about its purpose. i’m very grateful to have been able to have these three babes close together.

This is rather baffling, since the timeline of her births and pregnancies is public record on her blog. Nobody needs to make assumptions – anyone can count out “how long it took” on one hand. But hey, infertility solidarity, sister. I’m sure all those readers who have watched you pop out three while still having none themselves are lining up to rub your back in sympathy for your reproductive struggles.




  1. I pulled my uterus up by its bootstraps

    She is insufferable. Struggles don't mean what she thinks they mean. Taza, not everything negative comes from a place of women pulling each other down or hurt feelings. Sometimes hearing things aren't about yourself that you don't want to hear can be a good thing.
    Also you and your husband need to get real jobs and stop pimping and pipping your kids from in utero.

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    • Do you even go to this school?

      Yeah, she's effed up! How can she POSSIBLY even MENTION fertility and think she won't offend someone when she has 3 kids under 4? Beeotch.

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    • JAF

      Naomi knows struggle. Do you remember when Shake Shake changed it's crinkle fries for a few months and she waited in line 3 hours for a cronut????

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      • Mrs Blankenship

        Not struggle . . . it's TRIAL. So much Mormon.

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      • Littledog

        I love this comment so much I want to get it pregnant 3 times in 4 years.

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  2. boosnack

    Aw poor taza, who wasn't immediately able to get pregnant at age 21, & had thousands of dollars to spend to help her be pregnant by 23 :(

    I imagine how those with limited resources/actual infertility must feel when they read her smug bullshit. She makes it fairly obvious she has always been a privileged, upper class snot who somehow feels her body taking 2 years to get pregnant is the same as a lifelong struggle with infertility. Honey, no.

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    • potatohead

      Not to mention that she wondered why she was taking OMGSOLONG to conceive after leaving Julliard . . . um, I don't know, Naomi, maybe like almost all athletes your body needed time to adjust to the idea of being a nice gestating place when it's spent the last 14 years or so years working really hard?

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      • s

        Uh what? She wasn't anorexic so this makes no sense.

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        • BB

          Real athletes actually do have problems conceiving. It's not just anorexics. Shrug.

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          • turdburglar

            True ^
            I didnt get my period for years at a time when I was competing as a runner. I was very thin but not underweight. I don't know exactly how the science works but I imagine there is some way that your body knows it is going through too much to carry a child, so you wouldn't be able to conceive.

            That said, plenty of professional athletes get pregnant and have healthy babies, but it's not absurd to think that may have been the issue.

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  3. The Daily Snark

    This makes me rage. Once she had a healthy child, not to mention three, her fertility struggles were rendered irrelevant to anyone but her and the Derp. I don't see why she has to bring it up...ever again. And why would she need or want to? What the hell is her problem? Honestly, it's common courtesy not to spout off about how hard it was to get pregnant in your post about BREASTFEEDING your three healthy children. Just admit you're SO BLESSED and move on with your lives and your healthy children.

    The sad thing is, so many fangirls commented about how they were trying, just got started, it's so hard and thanks for the encouragement, Taza. What encouragement is that? A self-centered post that's true purpose is to link up nursing tops and rain boots?

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    • Dimwit in Dior

      Honest question: Are bloggers this obtuse, self-centered, ignorant and insensitive when they start blogging? Or at some point during their rise to the top do they turn into insufferable assholes? Because I have no idea how readers could find this person (and so many other bloggers) endearing if they're such dickheads from blog post #1. Not only do they say stupid things, but then they dig their heels in when sane people politely question them. It's mind boggling that anyone would want to emotionally invest in this person, especially when such sensitive topics are discussed.

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      • The Daily Snark

        Speaking only about this blog, it seems like an insular life, where work and home life are merged. I would assume that real-life opportunities to grow and mature are much less forthcoming to this particular type of blogger. And make no mistake, there has to be a lot of narcissism to assume that thousands are hanging on your every word and photo. Finally, it's all smoke and mirrors to sell stuff anyway...cue the "aspirational" side of things.

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        • Dimwit in Dior

          Utterly fascinating in a sad and pathetic way. I've always assumed most bloggers to have a streak of narcissism, but that's just scratching the surface. Thanks, TDS.

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      • pete venkman

        I've been thinking about this a lot, too. I swear when I started reading a lot of these blogs, there were some normal, interesting voices and stories. I feel that as bloggers became celebrities and branded, most lost perspective and are now living lives for the camera. It's a shame, because I think one day, when the next new thing has arrived, I think a lot of these people are going to have to face themselves (and their kids) and will struggle to live a life that no one's observing/lauding/paying them for. I really don't think they all started out as assholes, but that's certainly the direction most have headed.

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        • The Daily Snark

          Yes to all of this. And it's interesting that in the transition to branded blog, few bloggers seem to acknowledge that those who used to be "readers" are now "customers". Customer service is REAL, bloggers. Whine and offend enough customers and they'll stop buying your overpriced sponsored merchandise. Don't those sponsors pay the rent and the bills? Granted, Taza has a long way to go because the majority of her customers still think they're "friends and family". They're not. Blog readers/customers have every right to demand better, more consistent content and less whiny, defensive sniveling.

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    • Donna Freedman

      My daughter has had five miscarriages. Hearing about a mom of three dry-crying (great phrase, BTW) about her "struggles" makes me want to howl.
      If my daughter could have even ONE child she'd feel blessed. Rawrrr-rrraging right now.....

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      • life for sale

        Best of luck to her. This is exactly a situation that I wish Taza would have acknowledged. I know people will disagree, but there are degrees of infertility. Taza didn't have it too bad, in the big scheme of things. But she's doubling down on how haaaard her struggles were. Ugh. I really hope your daughter will have success soon, that sounds very tough.

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        • kittyhow

          I would call what Taza experienced "delayed fertility." Yes, she struggled and during that struggle (before first child) she could speak of the pain with personal authority. Once said child was born, just no. STFU. And once the second and third children made it on the scene, she should have never opened her fat mouth about it again.

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      • The Daily Snark

        I'm sorry. And I wish the best for your daughter in every way.

        I agree, life for sale, that there are degrees of infertility. And most important, everyone struggles/suffers/deals in different ways. One person's matter of fact statement may cut straight to the core of another person's pain. I just feel that couples should cope together, and with the support of their doctor and of course their inner circle. Support forums seem like a great online resource to get additional insight. But a monetized blog post that's open to all readers? No. Not the right place to throw out vague statements that are guaranteed to stir up offense and controversy.

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      • Slow clap for the chef

        Donna, I love your daughters blog, I pick up pennies. She's so down to earth and real. I have been following along with her and it's heartbreaking. I read your blog too and you are wonderful. Blessings to you and yours, you are so real compared to these clueless, tone deaf privileged bloggers.

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        • Donna Freedman

          Thank you for your kind words. I'll share them with Abby.

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    • lib-atl

      EXACTLY.

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  4. lion86

    okay a few things-- 1. is it even possible to have more children than that (unless multiples) in that span of time? 2. THIS is the shit she writes about for the first time after consecutive postings about gift guides/apps/smoothies etc. 3. what is her target audience here? 4. Way to make me feel three million more times sympathetic towards 'hey natalie jean' 5. WHAT do these people do all day?

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    • CoffeeAddict

      Technically, yes, it's possible to have a baby every ten months- in fact, women tend to be MORE fertile for a few months after giving birth or having a miscarriage. However, breastfeeding can delay ovulation in many women, so if Taza is getting pregnant while still nursing the previous child, she is most definitely NOT suffering from infertility issues.

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      • lion86

        Thank you! I had no idea - oh boy that seems like a lot of work that I can't even imagine. Kudos to those women!

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      • Cotton Gusset

        Yes! Breastfeeding is quite often natural (though not perfect) birth control. Thought that was common knowledge.

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        • Pizza for sale

          Exactly! Breastfeeding and ttc is not easy peasy. It took 17 months for my period to return while breastfeeding. Best year and a half ever!

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    • sunyourbuns

      Yes this! My first question was "How many more children do you think you could possibly have in four years?" Only a Duggar would consider 3 children in 4 years as infertile.

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    • snoogerbot

      Irish twins - have a set here at work.

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    • Alpacalypse

      "Three kids in four years" makes it sound like the children are all a year apart, but if you have a baby every two years then the oldest child is four when the third child is born. That's close together, but not irish twins.

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  5. OverItAll

    As if I didn't hate her before, I certainly hate her now. So f**king clueless. Want to know about REAL infertility? Talk to people who have struggled for over TWO years straight to even become pregnant ONCE and then end up having a miscarriage. Taza, you're a stupid b***h.

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    • Fancy Eleganza

      It took me five years to become pregnant. I have one child and I'm grateful to have him. Natalie needs to STFU and GOMI.

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    • Shannon

      I am currently on my second round of ivf treatment after ten years of trying to get pregnant. Our first round of ivf was unsuccessful (miscarriage), we have also had 2 ectopic pregnancies, one resulting in a ruptured tube/surgery and one miscarriage after natural conception. I feel like her using the term infertility, when she has three children, is more about trying to get attention and sympathy for a problem she doesn't have. As somebody that truly struggles with infertility I find her comments to insensitive. I would give my right arm to have her version of "infertility."

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  6. Bitch please

    Who the hell cares? I am so sick of women talking about their pregnancies and/or fertility problems. What did people do before they had social media to spew this nonsense? I can't take anymore. I wish the Internet would ban mommies, wannabe mommies and the infertile whiners.

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    • JaCrispy

      So women who are mothers, women who want to be mothers and women suffering with infertility should vacate the Internet? Yeah, a little too far on this one...

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      • turdburglar

        The original comment is a bit insane but I kind of agree with the fundamental point of it. I don't want to ban moms from the internet (obviously) but it seems like these things don't need to be public knowledge. Obviously many blogs feature infertility struggles and are probably great resources for readers struggling to conceive, but in this case it seems like gratuitous whining, and I don't see what the point of the post is.

        I have a lot of sympathy for those struggling to conceive, but posting about it on the internet isn't always going to be productive.

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        • Pumpkin Spice Scented Feminine Products

          I tend to agree. Also, in many infertility blogging circles, at some point, it seems to become less about infertility commiseration and more about b***hing at/resenting other women who have something you don't have, but think the world owes you. I think Cecily K.’s old blog and blog circle is a good example of that.

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        • HeartvsBrain

          I'm pretty torn about this one because I myself can't get pregnant and am at the point where I've just accepted I won't be able to have a kid "out my own biz."

          But honestly? If you really want to be a parent, you can be a parent. There's a shitton of kids out there who don't have a permanent family. While you can't really control how much it hurts to not be able to do it yourself (and man, it hurts, no joke) its a lot a bit about perspective. Frankly I'm more upset about my slowly dissolving spine than I am about not being able to poop out a bebe. I'll get a kid one way or another. The pain is really, honestly a pretty personal thing to me so I too don't understand oversharing on the interwebs about it.

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          • bezoar

            There are tons of reasons why someone may be unsuitable for being an adoptive parent (eg health reasons) and get turned down by adoption agencies, and in plenty of places LGBT people are automatically excluded from being able to adopt. 'Just adopt!!!' is pretty insensitive when not everyone can.

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            • J

              Sigh.

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              • bezoar

                What? Adoption (or fostering) is a long and tough process, and not everyone makes it through. Everyone's heard stories about marriages breaking up from the stress of the adoption process. Acting as if adoption is some simple process that everyone can do is wrong.

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            • Robin G.

              Many agreements. I hate when people say "Why don't you just adopt?", and when I (not wanting to lay the medical and financial details bare) reply "It's not feasible for us" getting the stink eye of [i]Oh, you're one of those people who only want a Baby Of Your Own[/i].

              I'd adopt in a heartbeat if I could. It's not possible for everyone. And the judgment about not doing so can really start to grate as the years go by.

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            • HeartvsBrain

              Heard. I have no idea of anyone's personal struggles with trying to adopt and not being able to.
              In other news, I, as a person who would like to parent in one form or another, for the sole purpose of giving a child/teen a life full of love and support, I don't even believe I need to "parent" to do that. I can volunteer my time at teen shelters, I can spend my time mentoring. My point is if your desire to parent has any altruism to it at all, instead of only narcissism, you'll find a way to fulfill that role. Even if it doesn't equal you+baby.

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          • clever clogs

            Seriously, try adopting as a single person over forty. Good luck with that. I speak from experience.

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            • Pass the Whine and Popcorn

              Seriously, try conceiving as a single person more than forty years of age. Good luck with that, too! Hahahaha! Some of you are pathetic, and I love it!

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        • Semi ho

          Women talk about infertility on the internet because it's too personal to talk about IRL.
          The Internet: not just cat gifs, also a place where people share their feelings anonymously

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          • Ghost Backup Dancers

            Yup. Telling people in your real life what you're going thru makes for really awkward party conversations. It's nice to find other groups where discussing these things in detail is normal.

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          • The Daily Snark

            She wasn't talking about infertility. Naomi was talking about breastfeeding. Her three children. And the infertility was just a vague toss into the post, somehow to justify why breastfeeding comes easily to her,..???

            And let's not forget that the real reason for the post was to embed a bunch of nursing tops and other products, including the rain boots whe was wearing in the photo. So, it wasn't exactly a forum for her to discuss her issues with infertility. I honestly would put this one more into the category of gratuitous whining as the poster above suggested.

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          • Purple21

            There are some great discussion boards for people to share their infertility struggle, but even those boards are fraught with etiquette issues because the success stories find they aren't so welcome on the original board any more. They have to be shuffled off to another discussion board to share their pregnancy updates and excitement. Just another sad lesson in the dangers of investing in online friendships.

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          • turdburglar

            This is a good point. I definitely can't relate to the struggles of infertility and don't even want children (which I know is a touchy subject itself). I'm glad people can find a place to talk openly at length about it, because even discussing it can be cathartic. Obviously in this case she was able to have three babies in pretty quick succession, so I feel like pulling the infertility card is a cheap tactic, and pretty disrespectful to those still struggling, with no children.

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          • turdburglar

            For example - in the same post she is talking about how she tandem nursed two of her kids because she got pregnant while still nursing. Sorry, but that hardly qualifies for strugglez territory to me.

            I feel like the real issue here is that she expects everything to be handed to her, and to be very easy, aka getting pregnant the first time you have sex with no birth control, and then an easy labor with a baby popping out an hour later. Childbirth was never supposed to be easy.

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            • life for sale

              turdburglar, I know right? Taza, Messi, they seemed to think childbirth would be this blissful easy experience because (in Messi's case, anyway) she only listened to people who told that kind of story. Messi put her fingers in her ears and went lalalalalalala can't hear you if anyone dared to share anything that wasn't a beautiful, earth goddess birth experience. Sounds like Taza heard the same bullshit too. She cited friends who had such easy births… sure , some women do, but it's not easy for most. I don't know wtf these women were expecting. Didn't they research any damn thing before they had bebes? Other than baby carriers, strollers, and other baby products, that is.

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              • turdburglar

                Ha, good point! When people start talking about their "birth journeys" I run in the opposite direction

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        • Fancy Eleganza

          If I owned the internet I'd ban birth stories. No one cares about some stranger's mucus plug.

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          • life for sale

            Can we also ban stories about eating placentas?

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    • J.

      So you want billions of women across the globe blocked from using the internet. That seems like a pretty reasonable response to your passing annoyance with mommy bloggers. Who's going to make sure this happens?

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      • Infertile Myrtle

        It's a "wish." Geez, lighten up. Some of you take things way too seriously/personally especially you mommy/wannabe mommy types. Sorry to inform you but there are way worse things in life than not being able to have kids. If you really wanted a kid, you could adopt or hire a surrogate. The reality is this: you just want attention for being "OMG pregnant" or to have a little mini-me that looks like you. It rarely is ever about just wanting a baby/child to love. #sorry #notsorry #stillnotsorry

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        • Ghost Backup Dancers

          Oh sure, doesn't everyone who wants a kid have thousands of dollars lying around to hire surrogates? I didn't realize...suppose I'll go check my couch cushions for all those monies.

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        • bezoar

          Yeah, all those LGBT people who are legally unable to adopt where they live should just shut up about it, lol who cares about the feelings of people who want children but are legally unable to have them!

          Lots of people cannot adopt or hire a surrogate (surrogacy is actually illegal in many countries), 'just adopt!!' is wrong and insensitive and shows a lack of actual knowledge about the adoption process.

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        • Affiliate Lynx

          I love the idea of "just adopt!" like there are kids somewhere (I'm picturing like an animal shelter for babies) and you just show up, put one in your carrier, and head home for fun family times.

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          • FertileDerp

            When people say the "just adopt" thing, we mean just adopt a KID. Any age. Where I live, there are plenty of kids in foster care. You have to wait a looong time to get a baby. So many women just want the baaaaaby. The sweet, FB envy inducing baby. Get over that shit.

            Banning mommy-types from the internet is silly, but please STFU about it being the worst struggle ever. There are many struggles and many paths, let's just all be respectful and un-whiney to one another.

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            • bezoar

              OK but lots of people are not able to adopt or foster, sometimes for legal reasons. Acting as if it's only selfish dunderheads who don't adopt or foster is really not accurate.

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            • Bitch please

              Yep, it's all about inducing envy on Fakebook. I am SO sick of all the baby photos/baby bragging/baby worship and elaborate pregnancy announcements. The funny thing is it doesn't make me the least bit jealous - just really annoyed! I have never wanted to give birth to children so I wasn't the least bit upset when I found out I probably would never have any. I just shrugged my shoulders when the doctor told me and said, "No big deal. If I really want to be a mom, I can adopt." And, yes, IF I wanted to be a mom (but I don't at this moment), I would be very open to adopting older children or children of a different race.

              There are many things I could be disappointed and sad about in my life but giving birth to an "OMG precious little baby" is not one of them. Thank God for that!

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              • NoOneCares

                Well maybe it's a good thing you're not reproducing, you sound like a miserable wretch anyway. I guess Mother Nature knows what she's doing. Good thing you're not adopting either; the little orphans really dodged a bullet there!

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              • Bitch please

                No one Cares - Taking things a bit too personally, huh? Too bad, so sad. And no, I'm not a miserable wretch but go ahead and think that if it makes you feel better! Haha! I have an awesome job, a really good-looking husband with an awesome job and two sweet rescue dogs we spoil rotten. We travel all over the world and the doggies go with us. Kids are not our style, and we thank God every day they were never part of the plan because they would hold us back from all the amazing things we have experienced. I know it's hard for a bitter, jealous shrew like you whose whole life revolves around children or children you wish you had to understand, but our lives are absolutely amazing. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want.

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              • Lola55555

                You sound completely insufferable

                I agree it sounds like a blessing you can't have kids

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              • No one cares

                LOL what a cute little fantasy you daydreamed! Too bad you already revealed you're over 40 and single in an earlier comment. I bet you pretend your "doggies " are children and baby talk them while writing angry rants online spewing hatred at healthy women with beautiful children and infertile women struggling to conceive. I feel sorry for your pets that theyre stuck with an insufferable wretch. Maybe when you die alone your cat will eat you?

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              • Bitch please

                No One Cares - I am not sure where I said that I was 40 and single? I'm not either of those things, but if I were 40 and single, what's wrong with that?! Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm almost 40, am indeed married, and yes, I treat my doggies like they are my own children. I believe pets are part of the family and should be treated kindly. In my mind, they ARE my children and the ONLY children I ever want to have. However, if we change our minds (doubtful), adoption or surrogacy is a real option for us. We would have zero problems doing either and we would be able to adopt a child within 1-3 years because we have the resources and referrals and do not need a perfect white little infant like so many of you want. However, I have a friend who just adopted a white infant and took her home a few days after she was born. It was a complete surprise to her and her husband and they hadn't been waiting for very long at all (just a few months) so it does happen for some. It just doesn't happen to you and that is why some of you are so bitter.

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              • JustBathingWeekly

                So, basically, you couldn't have kids, weren't all that broken up about it, went ahead and made yourself a happy and fulfilling life, and now people here are being absolutely ridiculous about it? Sorry, I had to chime in. I can't believe the level of ass-douchery comments that people are leaving in response to your reply!

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            • Affiliate Lynx

              You know they don't just give away foster kids, too, right?

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              • Pass the Whine and Popcorn

                Who cares? Not me!

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            • Give Me a Break

              You know that when you foster, the end goal is actually reconciliation with the biological parents, right? And you can dump all of this time, energy, and heart into helping this person only to have them bounce in and out of your home and have almost zero rights to try to protect them, and at the end of it all, you still don't have children "of your own". Fostering is grueling, hard, and largely thankless work and is probably the hardest path to go down if you legally want children of your own. You're also more likely to end up with kids with scores of issues from emotional to physical because of their neglect, being grown in the womb of a drug using addict, emotional and physical abuse, sexual abuse, and so on. To put it very mildly, you're a f**king idiot and should maybe keep your mouth shut about things you have zero knowledge of.

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        • J.

          I was really just making fun of the entitled hyperbole of wanting a huge portion of the population to be banned from the internet because you don't like hearing about one easily avoided topic.

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          • Fancy Eleganza

            If I owned the internet, I'd have a big red button on my computer that I could push to instantly ban any officious and annoying person who lacks a sense of humor and who swells up like a toad with indignation over a passing remark.

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            • J.

              Yeah, I can see some value in that.

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        • GG Gunhold

          Because adoption is totally unproblematic and all about getting "wannabe mommies" some babies? Or surrogacy, because you think we all have enough money and feel comfortable using another person's body for our goals?

          Good job with the dated, simplistic "thinking."

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          • Bitch please

            Sounds as if someone is a bit bitter. Don't have enough money to adopt or hire a surrogate? Don't have a pristine record that an agency would approve?

            Nope, pretty sure I nailed it with my "simplistic, dated thinking" - you just want to be pregnant for attention! It is never about just wanting a child to love.

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          • The Having of Greatness

            Just wanted to say that I always appreciate your smart, compassionate comments, GG Gunhold. Now seemed like a good time to mention it, since I find few things more rage-inducing than saying something factual and being dismissed as merely emotional (or "bitter").

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            • Pass the Whine and Popcorn

              The truth hurts, doesn't it? And yes, a lot of you are emotional and bitter and possibly even jealous when it comes to this baby making garbage. Get over yourselves and stop trying to "factually" justify this topic.

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              • J.

                Hate to break this to you, but you're sounding fairly to extremely emotional too, man. You don't have to join a prayer circle or offer back massages, but there's some kind of line between being sympathetic to infertile women and going WAY out of your way to belittle and scold them for having too many emotions ... especially when you're being really emotional, albeit in a different way.

                If you're tired of offering sympathy to people going through something that you don't relate to/care about, you'd probably feel a lot calmer by just ignoring it, not using up your emotional energy trying to convince them how terrible they are for not sharing your mindset.

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              • Pass the Whine and Popcorn

                J. - Fair enough. You make some good points. I just get tired of all the woe-is-me-I-can't-conceive when some women just want a baby to brag/feel superior/etc. We all have our hot button issues. This is a snark forum though so I don't see why this topic would be treated with kid gloves when other hot button topics are not.

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    • Sarah Ate Two Tacos But I, Kath, Only Ate One

      Girl, I feel you.

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      • Sarah Ate Two Tacos But I, Kath, Only Ate One

        Ugh, wait, I was expressing solidarity with b***h please. You took it a little far but I'm so tired of hearing about mommies.

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        • DrMonicaDelmonico

          I gotta say, I sort of agree. I'm a woman in her mid 30s who doesn't have children for a variety of reasons. People in my age bracket aren't even addressed as women, we're just 'moms'. I can't even buy a damn swiffer without seeing "busy mom's love swiffer!" because, obviously, no one else would need a swiffer. It's extremely off-putting.

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          • Bitch please

            This! LOL about Swiffer but so true. So glad to know there are other normal women out there.

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          • Dayman

            I want a busy mom's love swiffer.

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          • Fancy Eleganza

            I for one am tired of reading news stories in which the victim of some calamity is described as a "mom" as if that makes her death worse than that of a woman without children or a woman whose children are grown.

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            • FertileDerp

              So much this.

              Recently a 7 month pregnant woman was killed in my city. The crazies have now taken this opportunity to push horrible bills in parliament concerning death of unborn foetuses. The whole time, it is about her being a not-yet mom and not about her being a 30 year old woman with many facets.

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              • TragicallyHip

                A 7 month pregnant woman was recently killed in my city also, just curious about what city you are in derp?

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            • Bitch please

              Couldn't agree more! I hear it all the time even during layoffs. Once my boss got laid off, and a former boss remarked, "Well, it's too bad but at least she didn't have kids. That would be much worse." No, it wouldn't be much worse - it would be the same.

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              • J

                Invisible this button!

                Your worth is not greater because you popped out a kid. You are not more deserving. You do not automatically need money or a job more than every person without kids. You are not more tired than every person without kids. You do not know love more than every person without kids.

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              • Hell, in Arizona if you were unemployed in 2011 and had dependent kids you were automatically eligible for AHCCCS (the state health insurance fund). No kids, no help. Don't know what's going on with Obamacare now.

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          • timbits

            I am NOT a MOM!

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            • Proud To Be A Hamerican

              Neither am I!

              And Timbits are delicious.

              Um ... don't want to eat YOU ... this is awkward ...

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            • tvsociety

              giphy.gif

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              • DrMonicaDelmonico

                I haven't been back here since I posted but I love you all! I feel like a huge b***h because every time I see someone referred to as 'a mom' instead of as 'a person' or 'a woman' I feel so ragey. I've been feeling so hardcore disenfranchised as a childless person so it's nice to know that I'm not crazy for feeling that way.

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    • Mrs Blankenship

      big-list-infertility-blogs.png

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    • wow you are really dumb

      i know, wait for it ... DON'T READ IT

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    • toohottorun

      Omg I so agree lol

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  7. Eulalie Mackenchnie Shinn

    I had three kids in fewer than three years.

    But that doesn't mean I'm a fertile myrtle. It took me a while to successfully conceive AND carry even one child. I got pregnant easily -- if I was ovulating and had sex, I was pregnant. It was literally THAT easy. But the pregnancies never stuck until one finally, incredibly did.

    And you know what? The insurance company refused to cover any consultations with an IS because I wasn't technically infertile -- I got pregnant like that *snaps*. But as far as I'm concerned, I know the pain of wanting a child desperately and being unable to have one. Sure, my situation was different from women who can't even conceive, but that makes my pain no less painful.

    In other words, I can't snark on her.

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    • Atalanta

      She has given birth to three healthy children. THREE. She should be on her knees thanking Mormon Jesus. Get the eff out of here with that bullshit. It takes some pretty f**king huge balls to pretend that her experience is anywhere close to the pain of never getting to experience pregnancy and birth. I hope you don't go around telling women who would give anything to be a mom that your pain is anywhere in the same universe as theirs. YOU GOT A BABY.

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      • That Revenue

        Uh. So, successfully having a baby invalidates the previous struggle of infertility? Are you kidding? If a woman does ivf and gets lucky on the first try, she doesn't ever get to talk about the challenges and heartbreak leading up to that point? The pain Olympics really doesn't impress anyone... Eulalie never was comparing her pain to anyone else's, she was just pointing out that there are situations where you might not know what went on in the past.

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        • Ijustdonteven

          Comparing Naomi's situation to someone who suffered infertility and finally got pregnant via IVF is comparing apples and oranges. That's not what happened here. Has anyone said that a mother who has conceived one baby via IVF should get over it? Nope. They're saying Naomi shouldn't complain. She's not even 30 and has already had three children in four years. Frankly, I think your comparison is insulting. I've been watching multiple friends go through the heartbreak of infertility for YEARS. Clomid, IUI, IVF, more IVF and still no baby. So yeah, I think Naomi's an asshole for filling her blog with photos of her three beautiful children and then complaining about having trouble conceiving. I'm sure that was difficult at the time, and by all means complain and seek comfort from family and friends. Publicly b***hing about it and seeking sympathy from strangers after you spend every day shoving those sweet kids in their faces and talking about how omgblessed you are? Don't be surprised if people take offense.

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        • life for sale

          Know your audience. Common sense should tell you when it's okay to talk about it and to whom.

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          • Precisely. This seems to a major blind spot with the majority of our front page friends.

            And YES, to some degree having later success does mitigate (not completely diminish) previous pain. Your complaining is more annoying when your problem has been resolved so successfully.

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      • Eulalie Mackenchnie Shinn

        ". I hope you don’t go around telling women who would give anything to be a mom that your pain is anywhere in the same universe as theirs."

        Why in the f**k would I do that? And why would you even think I would do that?

        For ME, my pain was no less real while I was going through it than it would have been had I not been getting pregnant at all. I had no idea if I'd EVER get to carry a pregnancy. Sure, I got pregnant easily enough. But I didn't get to f**king keep any of them ... until I finally did. And you bet your ass I feel incredibly lucky for finally getting to carry a pregnancy almost to term and for having a healthy baby. You bet your f**king ass I do. I will never fully be able to express the joy and gratitude I felt when I was finally, FINALLY able to hold my sweet baby. But that didn't magically make all the pain and hurt go away, just like a woman who simply can't get pregnant doesn't magically forget HER pain and hurt once she finally does get pregnant, with or without assistance.

        The ONLY time I talk in real life (and really, online, for that matter) about my losses is when I talk to someone who is going through something similar. We ALL have different paths in life, and reaching out to those walking similar paths may just give them the support they desperately need in their own times of difficulty.

        Am I allowed to do THAT or does that also offend your delicate sensibilities?

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        • Eulalie Mackenchnie Shinn

          This was super b***hy of me. I know that there is so much pain associated with infertility, and I know how empty a person's heart can feel when they so desperately want a child. I apologize for responding in a snotty way. I was wrong.

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          • Ijustdonteven

            I'm sorry for what you went through, and I don't by any means think you should forget it or that the pain just goes away. And the same goes for Naomi. Pain isn't a zero sum game, and she's entitled to feel how she feels. The difference is, she's writing about it to thousands of women, many of whom may be amidst years-long struggles with infertility. That's just insensitive. It's one thing to commiserate with your spouse or your friends, but she should be more thoughtful complaining to a bunch of strangers. So basically, I'm not in the camp of, "Forget about any struggles you may have had now that you have children!" but more wishing she had some discretion and some sensitivity towards others. She acts like everything to do with her fertility is some deep, dark secret (which is fine) but then gets offended when she slips in some woe-is-me comment and not all of the responses are, "Aww, you poor thing, you've been through so much!" It all just seems to come down to her being immensely self-centered.

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          • Atalanta

            My response was over the top and knee-jerky. I'm sorry. I just have a fundamental problem with the concept of secondary infertility or sub-fertility as comparable to never, ever getting to birth a child.

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            • Eulalie Mackenchnie Shinn

              Big hugs.

              A gif seems really inappropriate here, but the biggest of virtual big hugs is going out your way.

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            • born again moody teen

              I LOVE GOMI. Love this place, especially when people are kind and apologetic when they are not.

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        • Amanda

          I don't think you need to apologize. You are entitled to your feelings and emotions and I believe that what you went through was heartbreaking and will always be a part of you. So sorry you went through that. I also think we never know exactly what another person has gone through to get where they are so it is difficult to judge other people without knowing all the facts. In fact I hate the idea of judging people at all. A careless blog post does not a bad person make. My sister went through ten years of trying to get pregnant until they were finally able to afford fertility treatments. Ten years of heartbreak is not easily forgotten. This is a very touchy subject...

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    • D

      Your insurance company sounds off. Failure to be able to carry a pregnancy successfully is a fertility problem all it's own. I have friends who have incompetent cervix and elevated natural killer cells (two different women) which has caused them both to lose children (one at 22 weeks, the other had 4 miscarriages before having her IVF twins) and early intervention was required by both regardless of the fact that both could get pregnant easily. What good is getting pregnant easily if you lose the babies? Infertility isn't just defined as the inability to conceive. The inability to carry a child to term falls in this category as well. I have a feeling your insurance company was playing you or is a POS.

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    • The Daily Snark

      I do feel for you. Whatever pain we feel, from whatever circumstances, is real. And we need to process it. I will only speak for myself and only on the topic of kids. Once I had one child, let alone more, I was done with any public whining about the difficulty of getting/staying pregnant. If for no other reason that my child was the one that I hoped for all along. No more crying about losses because I had great kids to love. That's it. I HATE that a monetized sales post created this drama. It's the side of blogging and the Internet that I really despise.

      Peace to you!:)

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    • Mrs Blankenship

      On-my-honor-I-will-try-not-to-slap-the-next-pregnant-woman.png

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  8. AlbieQuirky

    I'm sure miscarrying a wanted pregnancy is heartbreaking, but could Cup be any more entitled? Some experts estimate that 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (though many are so early the woman doesn't even know). Does she feel like the laws of reproductive biology shouldn't apply to her?

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    • life for sale

      It might be more like 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage? Sad, but not uncommon.

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    • Affiliate Lynx

      I don't know her very well - did she miscarry before Eleanor?

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      • born again moody teen

        That's the speculation. She has never said it, but she mentioned some medical issues, then they got a puppy (presumably to fill the void). Once she had a second baby and moved to NYC, the temporary child puppy was nixed.

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      • AlbieQuirky

        I don't know, actually. It seemed to me that she was alluding to having miscarried, but maybe I was wrong?

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  9. pimpmole

    wow. wow. wow. she is so smug. she has 3 kids under 5 years old and she's whining about 'lucky ladies who sneeze and get pregnant'. my 2 kids are 5 years apart, not what I intended but after a few miscarriages and years of 'trying' that's where we ended up. I considered myself really lucky, but considering her attitude, maybe I should feel sorry for myself, and smug all at the same time. I don't know how she does it.

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  10. Elegant Baby Turtle

    Infertility =/= getting pregnant exactly when you want to, Naomi.

    She's so f**king tone deaf.

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    • life for sale

      From Resolve.org:

      "Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. If you are over the age of 35, the time of trying to conceive is reduced to 6 months."

      She's well under the age of 35. Did it take her 12+ months to conceive Samson or Conrad? I'm not sure if that was even mathematically possible. It's possible it took them more than 12 months to conceive Eleanor, but that is water under the bridge once you've had two more kids in quick succession, whether or not you've used medical intervention.

      So we have Naomi whining about how hard she has it reproductively, and we have Natalie saying she isn't really infertile when they've been trying for 4-5 years to have a second kid.

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      • Sleepdeprived

        Even if it did, she was exclusively breastfeeding during that time so that gives a very plausible reason for not getting pregnant (not ovulating yet) that is NOT infertility. Some women's bodies just take longer to start ovulating again while breastfeeding and some start almost immediately irregardless of how much they are breastfeeding. Neither is wrong/right.

        I think she just has no clue what infertility means and what is normal.

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    • Mexican Scoop

      This is exactly what I was thinking. Is there a such thing as fertility dismorphia? It's like when a skinny person complains about being fat.

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      • Gollum with an IPhone

        Fertility dismorphia should be a username .. brill.

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      • hashtagdeep

        Was wondering the same. It sounds like her idea of infertility is not getting knocked up on the first try.

        Which, for her, should be a message from God, right?

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      • NotMyJam2

        Katie from BowerPower is having her 4th kid in 5 years and she cried about being infertility too.

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        • swimminginvinegar

          Wait what? Didnt she not know she was pregnant until she was 16 weeks or something?

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    • D

      I have a feeling her version of infertility is wanting to get pregnant a certain month and actually getting pregnant the 3rd month of trying. OH THE HEARTACHE! THE BOTCHED SCHEDULING! THE INCONVENIENCE!

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      • lol potato

        Exactly. Like I wanted a million dollars my first year working. But it took me five years and finally I got my million dollars.
        So during that oh so five hard years do I need to write f**king blog posts about what a ~*~struggle~*~ it was to not have that money right when I wanted it?
        I'm so over this whole topic.

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      • HeartvsBrain

        Ugh, I had friends who were like this and it was so annoying.

        "This was the first month we tried and it didn't happen! *WAIL*"

        Life must be real tough on these marshmallows...

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        • many elephants

          I know! I have a friend who got pregnant after 3 months of trying and said, 'we were really hoping for an autumn baby, because that's when both of our birthdays are'.

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    • ridin derpy fka Becky Leeman

      There's real infertility, and then there's Mormon infertility. A lot of these Mormon mommies seem to think not getting knocked up on the honeymoon = infertility.

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      • Charm

        I need the THIS button just here!

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      • Ashly

        Cosigned.

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • Blame Bacon

        I was thinking Mormon infertility has having 3 kids instead of a dozen.

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        • princesspop

          as a mormon I can tell you that other kids definitely asked me why I only had two other siblings, it's strange having to answer that one

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      • Anne

        *snort*

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      • Snarksnark

        Comment of the week!

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  11. Robin G.

    I've been trying to get pregnant for 9 years and 8 months.

    tumblr_inline_mn6eqoqDJC1qz4rgp_zps5ab35756.gif

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    • Vainglorious Poop Weasel

      tumblr_m5l8pel7oe1rn95k2o1_500.gif

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    • Pumpkin Spice Scented Feminine Products

      No kidding. We tried for well over a year before getting pregnant. Mommy bloggers like this seem to have been born with a massive sense of entitlement. They want what they want when they want it and if they don't get it at the snap of their fingers, they boohoo about their terrible strugglez on the internet. Sorry, that's not the way life works -- especially when it comes to things that are largely outside of our control, like fertility.

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    • LaverneandHurling

      Oof. Many hugs to you and your partner. This chick sounds like a douche.

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    • Saint Dorothy Mantooth

      tumblr_m23ajo2W2A1qe2ch3.gif

      Unless I made it awkward, then it's more like

      tumblr_inline_mh9h3m54QG1qz4rgp.gif

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      • Sucks to your Assmar

        Yeeees on the awkward hug! Why did they put that in there!?

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • couchella

        This made my night.

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  12. Top Hat Fancy

    Does she not know how "time" and "math" works?

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    • Top Hat Fancy

      *work.. Stupid iPad

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Eating Pants

      They don't teach that at Julliard.

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  13. Vainglorious Poop Weasel

    b***h.

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