Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Mommy Wants Vodka Apparently Still Getting Injured

Aunt Becky, of Mommy Wants Vodka and Band Back Together fame, is back with a new personal tragedy. After her claims of being attacked by phantom stalkers resulted in her being charged with filing false reports she continued to say she was in danger. Then she went sort of quiet for a while.

Now she’s back with new physical injuries.

ohbecky

A friend then updated all of Aunt Becky’s “pranksters” on The Facebook.

Becky is out of surgery, hasn’t spoken to the doctor yet but is doing ok other than being in agonizing pain. Keep her in your thoughts–she’s got a long road to recovery!

As of now there is no explanation as to how or why this happened.




  1. Top Hat Fancy

    JLaw YeahOK gif here

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  2. intothewild

    Don't know this blogger but its my understanding that the femur is one of the hardest bones in the body to break much less SHATTER! That would take some sort of massive force or fall off a cliff (really my friend fell off a cliff and broke her femur, did not shatter) and updating facebook is probably last on your mind when in that type of pain it would cause.... but you know bloggers..

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    • Your face

      I was hit by a big metal 1970's car as a smaller-than average 11yo, no shattering. Clean break, even more handily, it broke on the growth plate so it just had to be set in traction to grow back together. Shattered is either falling off a cliff or raging osteoporosis is a factor.

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    • Girl Detective

      At the age of 21, my little sister shattered both femurs and cracked a hip in a car accident that took the lives of three other people. So yeah, kind of a lot of force was needed there. She has super cool titanium rods in both legs now though, so she's all bionic and stuff.

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      • Periscope Expert

        When I was in college my anatomy/physiology professor told us that basically the only way to break your femur is in a car accident-and it's either crushed or the steering column comes down and breaks it. A fall at home? Right. Even old people with brittle bones break their hip, and ok, technically that might include the femur bone, but at the socket...not "shattered." I'm calling bs on this too.

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        • Wait...What?

          A co-worker "fell" down the stairs. Broke the femur and the tib/fib. The tib/fib was compound. She also has a concussion with memory loss. Her husband "found her" as the bottom of the stairs.

          Not to be Captain Obvious, but no one believed she fell.

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          • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

            Ouch. Sounds like my wife's previous boss, who apparently had a lot of heavy objects/loose cupboard doors/light fittings at face level. Her husband was super "helpful" too, always pointing out that she needed to be more careful. Nnnggghh.

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          • catparty

            Jesus.

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        • Basic Bitch Bingo

          I've seen a college soccer goalie break his femur before, so it's possible.

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        • Gives me the Shrivels

          A (very obese) coworker of mine was downhill skiing on a work trip in Colorado. His ski caught something and basically stopped his downward momentum on one leg. His femur cracked in half-clean break-right at the top of his boot. It was violent. Shudder.

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          • Zukes, Cukes and Pukes

            Those must have been some tall ski boots.

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            • Midwest Liberal Commoner

              Yeah, I think she has mistaken the tibia and/or fibula for the femur. I broke my tib/fib in a fall. Not hard to do, really. Femur? That would be much more difficult.

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        • I do not need these distractions

          My friend's 6 year old broke her femur (clean break, no "shattering") on a trampoline. She's 9 now & it has not given her any problems since the cast came off. I don't know anything about the person in this post, but I imagine all bloggers are inherently drama wh*res to some degree.

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    • Fizzles

      My guess is that she broke the head or neck of her femur, which is a little bit more fragile than the shaft (heh). it's what the elderly typically break when they fall. And, since it makes up part of the hip joint, she can tell people that she broke her femur and her hip. Extra attention!

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    • snarkaceratops

      I broke mine in gymnastics when I fell from the men's highbar (8 ft 3 in high) practicing a release move... But I was 4'7" (long way down), moving at a crazy fast velocity, and landed so that my foot and knee drove into the ground while I was still twisting. Even then, it was "just" a spiral fracture. I call shenanigans.

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    • i love chili dogs

      My dad shattered his femur back when he was a scrawny, 85 lb Asian kid trying to play linebacker (?!) in a scrimmage with the JV squad from the high school. His coach, a medical genius, used his x-ray vision to diagnose a dislocated knee on the spot. He then proceeded to try to YANK my dad's lower leg and thigh back into alignment. Apparently there's no way to describe pain like that. Just writing it makes me cringe.

      (And my dad spent the the summer in a body cast and ended up with one leg noticeably shorter than the other.)

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  3. Ridiculicious

    From what I understand, and have personal experience with - there is no AGONIZING pain after surgery. There's pain meds for that. I smell bullshit.

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    • Beatrice Swan

      Yeah, especially not the first day or two after a "shattered femur" and "broken pelvis." I mean, if, IF*, it's true, she's got some pain ahead but right now she's got the good stuff.

      I don't know why her friend's statement made me laugh so hard but it did. Maybe because no one would say "okay other than agonizing pain" if, you know, you were hanging out with someone in that much pain.

      Ah, Becky. Almost as awesome as Ghost Bev.

      *(insert 300 more "if"s)

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    • silveroak

      Having had multiple surgeries, on my spine, rotator cuff and my first rib removed. PAIN was what I felt the minute I opened my eyes, even with the meds. I'm not sure what in the hell is going on with her, I can't call bullshit yet because I don't know the whole story.

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      • Amaryllis

        I woke up from surgery and immediately became hysterical because I thought I was dead. I thought I was dead because for the first time in my entire life, I was not in pain.

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        • Fancy Eleganza

          What is surgery in the AN? Is it medical-speak for anus? Did she shatter her anus too?

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          • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

            I thought it was a typo for 'AM', morning.

            I don't want the mental image of surgeons using her arsehole to get to her femur to ever leave me. It is a wonderful, hilarious image. It could be a new paradigm in surgical care. Move over keyhole surgery, arsehole surgery is here!

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            • catparty

              It's how I planned on having my rhinoplasty done!

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          • Blast HardCheese


          • Jump Rope Villain

            "Did she shatter her anus?" will now be what I ask of anyone who has been injured.

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      • whateverlolawants

        I woke up from knee surgery crying because the bones hurt so bad from where they drilled holes.

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      • my dog knows your secrets

        I always chuckle when I see the words rotator cuff. My MIL (God, rest her soul) called it "rotor cuff" and thought that was the name of the injury, not the injured area. As in, "I can't raise my arm. The doctor says I have a rotor cuff."

        Carry on.

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        • Quality Control at the Bitch Factory

          My mom kinda did this too! She had a complete shoulder replacement earlier this year and was so shocked it wasn't "just a rotator cuff."

          Weird.

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        • EHRMAGERD FERL

          This reminds me of a woman I knew that called her macular degeneration "immaculate degeneration", which I thought sounded p cool

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          • SilverOak

            Reminds me of Virginia on Raising Hope; the queen of malapropos.

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            • Currently Craving Commi$$ion

              I miss Virginia so much. Dramastically is a cromulent made-up word.

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    • notkept

      Post op experiences vary wildly. I could take care of two people in the same general health having the same surgery with the same surgeon and anesthesia and they could be very different upon waking.
      Ortho surgeries are OFTEN agonizing. If she had surgery for the reported injuries pain is more likely than not.

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    • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

      I woke up in agonizing pain after surgery. No bullshit. Because of that fact, however, I was not able to call/text/Facebook my friends immediately after. I was in so much pain that I was kind of incoherent and not fully cognizant of my surroundings. I do not believe for one second that she was able to use her cell phone so quickly after surgery, yet had not spoken to a doctor yet. Bullshit.

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      • Screaming At ALL The Vaginas (Formerly Ruby Jiselle)

        When I had my gallbladder removed I woke up in a fair amount of pain. I was so out of it that I was unable to decide what drink to choose from what the nurse was offering me.

        Also, I didn't have my phone. The person who was responsible for driving me around had it. I didn't get it back until I was released--after seeing the doctor.

        There's some bullshit here. Pain, sure. Probably exaggerated, but sure. Being on FB before even seeing the doctor? Big fat nope.

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    • got all swole

      I had a hip replacement, and when I woke up I was high and felt great, but I'm younger than whoever this is

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      • Yeah but being swole helps you heal faster, so.

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      • Fancy Eleganza

        I'm incredibly old and had to have my spine buttressed with titanium rods and screws two years ago. The surgery took ten hours and left the surgeons looking like wrecks (or so my husband told me.) I however, woke up feeling chipper and fresh as a daisy. I suppose we all tolerate pain differently. Personally, as long as you give me lots of morphine, I don't care if you cut my leg off with a rusty hacksaw.

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        • The family that Darwin forgot

          I think it's pain threshold vs expectation of pain and your attitude towards it almost. I had a knee recon a few years ago and got put in a room next to a younger woman who was having something similar but less invasive done. Immediately on waking she had her mother there cooing over her and asking if it hurt and coddling her so of course this girl decided she was in the worst pain ever. She was a royal pain in the arse the rest of the time I was there and refused to even get up, despite the fact she should have been able to with minor assistance. Every time the staff tried she'd wail in agony, then they'd give up and her mother would bring her McDonald's to eat. It was like Pavlov's drama queen.

          Thing is she might have genuinely believed she was in that much pain but with a better attitude she would have probably felt a lot better.

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          • Businesslady Balsam

            Pavlov's Drama Queen would be an excellent screen / user name!

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            • Chairman Meow

              Also excellent user name: Spine Buttress.

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    • black emo kelle

      The only major (or somewhat major) surgery I've ever had was to remove my appendix, and when I fully woke up (after I came out of surgery initially, they gave me gravol because they gave me morphine and I am TERRIFIED of throwing up and apparently kept saying over and over "please don't give me morphine if you won't also give me gravol, please, i don't want to throw up") I started panicking and freaking out because it still hurt terribly right where it had hurt before. Um, yes genius, because they TOOK YOUR APPENDIX OUT OF THAT SPOT. Derp.

      This sounds fishy and the wording is weird but I can buy being in pain coming out of surgery, even on pain meds.

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      • black emo kelle

        I don't know why people noped this but ok lol.

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    • Aunt Cornelia, rogue saboteur copyeditor

      My dad woke up from heart surgery and the Dr's were all asking questions like what day is it, what year is it, etc. and they get to "where are you?" and he goes

      THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL

      So it must not have been fun.

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      • my dog knows your secrets

        When I woke up from a surgery I heard pages flipping (nurse was reading a magazine). I thought I was still in the middle of surgery and the surgeon was flipping through a textbook for instructions. Instant panic. Followed by instant relief when I realized what it really was and what a knob I was.

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        • Fancy Eleganza

          The Seventh Circle of Hell comment is hilariously funny. So is the idea of a surgeon paging through a textbook in the middle of surgery. They'd be more likely to be making wisecracks about how funny-looking your spleen is, or whatever they're rooting around in there for, and taking pictures of it to post on Facebook.

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      • snarkaceratops

        Lmao your dad sounds like my favorite kind of patient!

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      • justcantwithyou

        I've had surgery twice, and upon waking, when they asked me if I knew where I was, I said, "Taco Bell." Both times. I have no recollection of this. I also rarely eat at Taco Bell. I am clearly at my best immediately post-op.

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        • Background Benz

          I had a doctor screw up a shoulder surgery- it will be a problem for the rest of my life. He was a really good looking doctor. I had another doctor perform a repair. When I woke up the good looking first doctor was sitting next to me saying "I'm so sorry I did this to you"
          I said (in my happy-drug haze), "it's totally cool, I still love you!"
          Doc, "oh good, is your husband here?"
          Me, "oh, f*ck him- YOU'RE here.
          The nurses still giggle about it when I come in for (more) surgeries. My husband is less amused...

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      • catparty

        Hah, your dad's a boss.

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    • my dad has a similar injury/surgery (car accident requiring life flight, etc.) and there is no agonizing pain because they keep you in a medically induced coma state (or coma light - where you are REALLY out of it and won't remember much) for 3-4 days after the surgery.

      but my mother had has several surgeries and always declares herself to be in extreme pain after the fact.

      so who knows.

      ETA: dad's surgery was also the mid90s so I assume medicine has advanced since then...

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    • Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!

      I've spent a bit of time in PACU and some folks do wake up in a lot of pain; usually they'll then up their dose of meds and/or order them up a pain med pump (not sure on the official name of those).

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    • Seaside Honey Fantasia

      Agreed, in fact I've LOVED when I've had minor surgery for those days of drugs. What.

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      • robbed of a gold medal at the Oppression Olympics

        People have different numbers of opiate receptors and many, many people have mutations of cyp2d6 and cyp3a4 genes. This affects one's ability to metabolize many pain medications (and also several other meds, including anti-depressants) which means they receive much less benefit, even almost none at all in some cases, from treatment with meds that rely on those pathways. In people with these mutations, drugs like codeine don't ever break down into the right metabolites due to not having the right enzymes, so it will provide no pain relief at all.

        It is entirely possible to wake up from surgery and be in agonizing pain, and the lack of knowledge about these gene receptors and mutations of them still isn't out there to all medical professionals. This girl might be stuffed to the gills with bullshit, but agonizing pain post surgery is a freaking nightmare when you have to deal with it. And when you have to deal with nurses who try to assure you that morphine is the strongest pain med out there. Its not if your body can't metabolize it correctly!

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        • Autoclaving is a tool of the patriarchy.

          Unrelated, but this makes me wonder if there might be a correlation between people who have a higher number of opiate receptors and opiate addicts.

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        • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

          Morphine is not even that potent, it's far from being the most effective painkiller. I was on 50mg/hr slow release morphine and all it did was aggravate my Crohns, and cause lower GI bleeds. The pain that it was supposed to dampen stayed the same

          But, like you, I've had nurses tell me that there's nothing stronger or more effective. Fortunately none of these were emergency situations.

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  4. Cersei Lannister’s Stylish Pixie Cut

    ...how does this even happen, unless you fall off a building and then get hit by a train?

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    • Albie Quirky

      Car accident.

      But maybe she was being stalked by an angry T-Rex, that seems more like a story she'd tell.

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      • Barks

        and she "just can't remember" exactly how it all happened. suuuuuure.

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    • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

      Well, you know how it is. "She took a fall at home, and being Becky it turned into a series of unfortunate events." So, the usual.

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      • Dorothy Zbornak

        I imagine it went something like this: naked-gun-oj2-o.gif

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        • omg is that Naked Gun?

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          • Dorothy Zbornak

            You know it! Though this gif omits the part where he falls into the wedding cake and then steps in the bear trap.

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        • Flasè Dah

          images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRuIjAPRlTNpBXC8YaLWQz8fmv5nFtg5caTM4GF7WhWb0YKV3N7

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          • catparty

            SAY CHOWDER, BLOGGER!

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          • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

            That user name, OMG!

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        • Little Pony Parker

          Lol. Also reminds me of this obscure movie I saw as a kid, Amazon Women On The Moon. There was a bit in it with Arsenio Hall. Everything that could go wrong for him does.

          Did a little digging on YouTube...

          http://youtu.be/vo4xAKY7K6k

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          • Ain't No Thelma Here

            My husband is obsessed with that movie!

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      • I just want to know since she fell at home was she shouting in a feeble voice "Help, I've fallen and can't get up".

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      • Albie Quirky

        A series of unfortunate events? I BLAME COUNT OLAF!

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        • Suzy Bishop-Shakusky

          I love those books a bit too much for a woman my age.

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  5. 1,000 pairs of white sneakers

    What is the percentage of bloggers these days who are utterly of the rails? like 99 pecent? It's kind of baffling.

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  6. Edina Monsoon

    Maybe she should put down the vodka to help cut back on the falling? (I don't know if she drinks or not, tbh.)

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    • Amaryllis

      She'd have to be a 90 year old woman with advanced osteoporosis to shatter her femur in anything less than a nasty car accident.

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    • Sweetie Darling

      Or perhaps she should drink more and move less? ;)

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  7. TurkeyVulture

    the-boy-who-cried-wolf_02.jpg

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    • Aunt Cornelia, rogue saboteur copyeditor

      I want to be friends with those sheep. They look like a real party.

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      • Aunt Cornelia, rogue saboteur copyeditor

        Who nopes party sheep?

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  8. Local Organic Velveeta

    UGH- this just screams CAN I HAZ ATTENTION NOW PLEASE NOW THANKS!!!

    All i know about this person is what's been on the front page, but the only people who ever post shocking injuries or other statements on facebook/social media with absolutely no explanation of what happened are needy, annoying attention wh*res who I must unfollow immediately.

    Also- what does surgery in the "AN" mean? did she mean "AM"?

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  9. pfft

    I had my tibia cracked and four screws and a plate put in (reconstructive knee surgery). Granted I don't know what repair would be done for this alleged injury but when shiz really starts hurting -- like whole body throbbing pain, is about four days or so after surgery when the anesthesia wears off.

    Good luck to her. Perhaps she needs a bulletproof bubble suit.

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  10. Local Organic Velveeta

    Just saw that the same friend posted info on how it happened... it's interesting:

    "She's highly medicated and in a lot of pain right now waiting for surgery. She took a fall at home, and being Becky it turned into a series of unfortunate events. If I hear any updates post surgery I will pass them on!!"

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  11. Girl Detective

    Okay according to that Facebook thread someone said this:

    She's highly medicated and in a lot of pain right now waiting for surgery. She took a fall at home, and being Becky it turned into a series of unfortunate events. If I hear any updates post surgery I will pass them on!!

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  12. AnonForThis

    Her friend on FB says this all happened when, ''She took a fall at home, and being Becky it turned into a series of unfortunate events. '' No. Does anyone else remember the episode of ER when a patient literally cut their own arm off (and tried to pass it off as a motorcycle accident) because of their addiction to pain killers? That's what this reminds me of and while I find it unfathomable that someone could purposefully harm themselves in such a dramatic way, I can very much see Becky whacking at her leg/hip with a hammer if the injuries are as extensive as she's claiming from a fall at home. Femur shattered? Really? Unless a car same into her living room, nope. This wasn't an accident.

    tl; dr She cray and I think she hurt herself. I also hope she's not seeing her kids if she's this far gone.

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    • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

      OMG YASSSSS! I swear, if I'm lying I'm dying, I thought of that episode when I first heard about this mess.

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    • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

      I used to work in the health service. People induce or feign injury all the time. That's not even for drugs, just purely for attention and teh dramaz.

      Serious bzns time. Depression and anxiety are still wildly misunderstood, and saying outright "I'm depressed/scared and I'd like some help please" can lead to some pretty f**king shitty reactions from people like friends and family, who are supposed to be supportive. (Me? Still bitter and angry abouy how "loved ones" treated me? Hmmm) So, some people self-medicate their sadfeels with booze and drugs, some people self-injure, many people use combinations of all of them, and keep it stuffed inside. Others don't go for quiet repression, and deliberately commit (or invent) dramatic demonstrative acts. This forces friends and family to react (in a way that covert substance abuse and self harm doesn't) and, if actual injuries ensue, gets attention from medical providers/emergency personnel.

      This type of person needs constant support, ongoing validation, and even mild crises can provoke acting out. Factitious disorders can rumble along in the background and the person can appear relatively 'normal' until times of increased stress, where they need to ramp up their usual low-key "mememe" whispers and exchange them for acts that scream "f**kING LOOK AT MEEEEE!".

      If this is yet more fantastical bullshit (which given her history is likely) then she needs help. Whether the injuries exist but were induced, or the whole thing is a fabrication, then the wheels have fallen off the sanity wagon again, and more drama will be on the way.

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      • catparty

        That's a terrific way of putting it, thank you.

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        • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

          No probs. In a way the internet is a bit of a lifesaver where people like her are concerned.

          Pre-interwebs you had to go to some pretty drastic lengths to get showered in attention. Usually someone (self, kids, pets) was going to have to take one for the team. At least now you can be rewarded with immediate, unlimited attention by hopping onto Facebook and breezily uttering "Oww, I just got hit by lightning and a truck at the same time!"

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    • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

      Oh and I hope her kids are somewhere safe.

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    • Cattitude with Attitude

      She gets supervised visits with her kids, last I heard. Also crazy: the woman giving the updates to everyone about Becky's condition and how it happened lives in northern Michigan, she lives in Chicago. Something doesn't add up.

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  13. Snarkastic

    I think what Mommy Wants is a good, firm adult hand to guide her.

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