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Mommy Wants Vodka Felt Her Femur Just Like, Shatter

wtfbecky

Aunt Becky, broke her hip or something, has now provided a timeline and explanation of sorts for her bizarre injuries.

Aunt Becky claims she “felt” her femur “fracture” while she was just “standing up, talking to a friend”. When someone asked how doctors didn’t see this injury, Becky replied:

They x-rayed it both times and saw nothing. I was sent home saying it was a bone bruise and a script for pain meds.

She then says she “went to inpatient rehab for PT and OT” on September 28, and by October 6 said “I am going home. I cannot wait.” Later that same day she said she’ll “be recovering from this a long…time”, though after another x-ray yesterday she reports “Turns out? My femur is working hard to get this b**** off her walker/wheelchair and back to kicking ass and takings [sic]“.

That’s not how any of this works gif here.




  1. Busybody

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  2. Roadkill on Batshit Lane

    Unless she has some sort of very advanced brittle bone disease, her femur did not 'shatter' while she was 'just standing'. If she does have some sort of very advanced brittle bone disease that causes her bones to spontaneously combust, she needs to still be in the hospital.

    I feel that perhaps neither of these things are reality based.

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    • "I was just standing there and felt my femur fracture" is going to be my new go to phrase to replace "I'm lizzing".

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    • justkillingtime

      Not supporting this blogger...don't follow her. But if you have older parents (moms) and they take fosamax, you should be aware that this actually can happen. MIL was treated for back pain, leg pain, nothing helped until the day her leg actually shattered and she fell. She had to fight with doctors that she was of sound mind, and did not fall and break her leg, her leg broke and she fell. And then it happened to the other one 11 months later. No sign other than pain...didn't not show up on xrays. She was walking a mile a day still at that point but with pain. Just be aware if you have a loved on that takes fosamax and they complain of leg/back/hip pain. For her, two major surgeries, much metal, 2 very long rehabs later and she is back to walking her mile a day, but she is a fighter. Awareness before could have really helped. The second break came with no warnings.
      http://www.drugwatch.com/fosamax/femur-fracture/

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  3. Sarah de los dos tacos

    The thought of feeling a femur fracture makes me want to vomit.

    Also, my brother was in the hospital after a car accident and they kept saying his back pain was due to deep bruising. Turns out they were wrong and a few of his vertebrae were broken.

    tl;dr Sometimes doctors are wrong and this could happen, but probably her vodka consumption contributed to her weak bones.

    oNObxMf.gif

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    • Doing The Lards Work

      I had that happen when I fell out of a bunk bed. They x rayed at the ER and claimed no vertebrae were broken, but turns out I had three fractured lumbar vertebrae. It happens. But vertebrae are significantly smaller than, ya know, a femur.

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      • Fizzle

        Yeeeeea, a shattered femur would be...apparent. Hell, even a fracture would be obvious. It's not a bone with lots of ridges or places to hide a fracture. If it was broken, it would show up. This is fishy.

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        • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

          Yeah that, and the whole "able to walk" thing.

          Actually, I want to spew at the thought of someone trying to mobilise on a shattered femur All I can picture is those old toys where there's a little animal on a base and, when you press something underneath, the animal collapses.

          Ooh, here's one:

          search?q=collapsing+animal+toy+gif&safe=off&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAWoVChMI_JvQ3s60yAIVBLgUCh2tMwD3&biw=600&bih=960#imgrc=GeB70_rpmsIDGM%3A

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          • Doing The Lards Work

            Yeah, there's the walking thing. With those fractures I had I could only walk with my torso bent at a 90 degree angle to my legs and I was in agony. With a fractured femur she shouldn't have been standing.

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            • Ramcat Hamcat

              My mom (a military veteran who has given birth twice without any pain meds, been impaled through the leg by a tree branch, and broken her ribs, arm, ankle, etc. over the course of her life because she's one of those people who just never knows when to quit or back down from a challenge) fractured her femur a few years ago and told me after her surgery that, even with the pain killers, it was the worst pain that she has ever felt in her entire life. I can't even imagine how this blogger could be standing to begin with after so many days of pain let alone casually standing and talking to a friend as she seems to imply. Maybe there's more to the story, but the details here are so sketchy.

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        • sonotamused

          I am willing to give her she has a hairline fracture (which wouldn't show up) and then she just went straight off the line and into crazy land and spun the story out of control. Perhaps in the hope people will throw her money and/or pain drugs.

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    • Elle

      Yup, just anecdotally it seems like ER doctors miss fractures fairly often. My son broke his leg and was sent home with instructions to see our doc if it still hurt in a week. A week later, we brought my son and his x-ray in and our doctor took one look at it and sent him on to an ortho. It was a buckle fracture so not super obvious even though it was on a long bone.

      Two years later, my daughter fell and went to a different ER, they x-rayed her elbow and said she was fine. They called us a few days later frantic to get us back because they had been wrong and another ortho caught it while reviewing all of the files.

      Also, could she be using the word fracture as a noun? Like she could feel pain even though she was just standing there? Not that she felt it breaking...I don't know, that's the only thing that made sense to me (unless she's just crazy, I know nothing about this woman other than front page stuff).

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      • Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!

        Yeah, stuff is missed by doctors all the time, but the rest of her story just doesn't add up at all.

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  4. EHRMAGERD FERL

    "titanium or plutonium, or something"
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    • Dungeon of No

      If she has plutonium in her leg then she can generate that 1.21 gigawatts of electricity she needs to go back to a time where someone gives a f**k.

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      • Suzy Bishop-Shakusky

        Great Scott!
        Im reading these comments in a library.
        MiSTAKE! LOL!

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        • Magically delicious

          "You're okay by me!"

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      • Steph

        I laughed so hard, my cat hopped off my lap and ran to the other end of the house.

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      • snozberries

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    • Purple21

      You know, there are doctors and researchers reading here, thinking "Plutonium! Why hasn't anybody thought of that before? Yeah, titanium is the only substance that bonds with bone and isn't rejected by the body, but plutonium could sent the patient shooting back through time to when the injury hadn't even happened."

      You heard it first here.

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  5. ANNOUNCE YOU ARE LEAVING

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    • OMG. This and "Hey are you a dog? I am also a dog" are my favorite Family Guy scenes ever.

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      • ANNOUNCE YOU ARE LEAVING

        Anytime anyone in my house is being grumpy we always have to ask, "Do you want to toin Mother Maggie's shoe?" (Wording wrong, but we know what we mean...)

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        • ANNOUNCE YOU ARE LEAVING

          Damn it ANNOUNCE, learn to type good.

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      • Day man

        Who the hell noped THIS???

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      • JennasPeePants

        I will never not laugh at Prom Night Dumpster Baby.

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  6. Busted Coccyx Club

    Oh Becky, Becky, Becky. What the hell?

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  7. Dorothy Zbornak

    Just felt all 10 fingers fracture while typing this.

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    • Mumspringa Glen

      OMG! I'll set up a fundraiser for you! I also want to mail you my paycheck. I just need your mailing address and some photos of you looking sad and forlorn at the hospital, preferably with an IV sticking out of your arm so I can put together the Gofundme video montage set to Last Kiss by Pearl Jam.

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  8. clitasaurus hex

    From a Facebook comment:
    "That timeline screams malpractice to me. I'm just glad you're moving in the right healing direction now."

    Great, let's encourage this lady to sue for malpractice.

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    • wut

      Can you imagine the discovery portion of this trial? It would be SO SO SO FUNNY.

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      • clitasaurus hex

        Good Wife Episode Alert!

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      • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

        *femurs spontaneously shatter*

        That's how AWESOME that trial would be. The thought of it shattered my legbones. Good job I wasn't using them.

        Law & Order : FUM* I need it, asaps.

        I wonder what the sky is like on her planet.

        *f**ked up muppets

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      • I Want a Donut So Bad

        We now make clients sign Social Media disclaimers to the effect of: social media is discoverable, and if you are stupid on social media, we cannot rehabilitate your case. End of.

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        • clitasaurus hex

          In high school, a friend of mine had her LiveJournal entries read out loud during her parents' divorce trial and custody hearing. 10+ years later, she still cites it as the most embarrassing moment in her life.

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          • Day man

            That's horrid:(

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          • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

            I have that awful secondhand embarrassment feeling. It must have been bloody excruciating for her. I didn't use LJ until my twenties, and the thought of that happening...

            "If it pleases the court, in a journal entry from may 2000 the petitioner's daughter states:

            I wish my parents would grow up.

            Mood : Upset
            Listening to : *NSYNC - Tearin' Up my Heart
            "

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      • brandiglanvillesreconstructedvaginaRIDESAGAIN

        Some shitty contract attorney having to read all her facebook posts lol

        #jobgoals

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        • Suzy Bishop-Shakusky

          OMG!! Jack McCoy in gif form!
          You made my day!

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    • Screaming Malpractice (Formerly Fancy Eleganza)

      It screams bullshit to me.

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  9. Ambrosia Salad

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  10. Obviously Staged Fuckery

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  11. Aimstress

    My dad fractured his femur while walking. He'd had a tumor scraped off of it and then it had been irradiated. The fracture was STILL not bad enough to warrant any treatment. He did get major badass points from his doctors though once he finally mentioned it after about six months.

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  12. Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

    Oh Aunt Becky, your story sounds a lot like the ones an acquaintance would share. They too apparently acquired devastating injuries during the most mundane of activities, were seen by scores of emergency dept. consultants who had apparently said things like "Your fine, just a bit of osteoporosis in your stomach" or "No breaks in that bone, It's just a slight bend".

    The crucial difference is that I'm talking about somebody who was cognitively impaired due to a seizure disorder, suffered from schizophrenia, and was inordinately fond of "wobbly eggs", aka temazepam. What's your f**king excuse?

    Her story makes about as much sense as these here gifs:

    5167609+_cc5ebd23cdf02dc2a0180055dfb15af1.gifStill+waiting+for+the+day+where+this+lil+badboy+gets+_5275f8b0ec93bf7633f0bca030751525.gif

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    • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

      Ugh

      *you're fine

      f**king ridiculous finger slippage

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      • Maybe you fractured a finger. You should go get some pain meds.

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        • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

          Ermahgerd, I need some fentanyl right stat now!

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    • Samstherealheroinlotr

      Yes we have feathers, but the muscles of men

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QaT6EKzKb4k

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      • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

        That was sublime. I think I need to introduce myself to ASIP, because that was mindbendingly surreal.

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