Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

Mommy Wants Vodka Went Into A Coma

Aunt Becky, can break her femur just by standing up, has evidently spent “nearly the past month in the hospital”.


Um, ok, sure. Her life is turning into a really bad story arc on Grey’s Anatomy or something. Are her fangirls still buying this crap?

  1. Smuggle


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    • magically delicious

      Hey, bruuuutha! BUSTER.

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    • Mumspringa Glen


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  2. Vainglorious Poop Weasel

    I think mommy needs less vodka, maybe.

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    • MimiMomma

      This was my thought as well. Mommy Needs to go on the Wagon!

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      • GodsMonroeInvestmentProperty

        Mommy needs rehab?
        Mommy has munchausen?
        Mommy is an insurance nightmare?

        There are a lot of directions this could go!

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    • Ruby Raindrops

      I've never been to her site or read her blog and only know her name from here but the absurdity of a broken leg putting someone in a coma is just beyond and my immediate reaction, based solely on her being 'mommyneedsvodka' and how utterly full of shit she sounds about her femur coma, isn't it more likely that her month-long absence was really more accurately 28 days? just admit you went to rehab, pretty sure lying goes against one of the 12 steps'

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  3. Janet Snarkhole


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    • Like Did Bacall

      Your comment shows up like [below, hopefully the image posts] on my screen. I love how Bacon Cat looks to be listening and considering things. He's all, "I don't know about this chick and vodka, or comas and junk, but some salami would go down good about now."

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      • Like Did Bacall

        Ok, well, half the pic showed up. I'm getting better!

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  4. Louise

    I believe she's been in a hospital for a month. Skeptical as to why she was in the hospital.

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    • Army of Vaginas

      Rehab. DTs can be a b***h.

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      • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

        This was my first thought as well. Her last tweet had been on Dec 8. From that day through Jan 3 is 27 days.

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    • Ladycoder Tantrums

      HAS to be an inpatient mental health stay. HAS to be. Titanium freaking limbs don't get infected and break completely...

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    • Maybe she stuck a hypodermic needle coated with poo into her incision and waited for the infection to give her morphine.

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  5. RandomDancing

    Well of COURSE she was in a coma! She has the worst luck, ever. Has she started a GoFundMe yet?

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  6. RandomDancing

    I'm also confused by her use of 'thus". Her leg broke, thus coma? One does not follow the other.

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    • Cronut in the Oven

      I have to admit, I wondered whether anyone had claimed "Thus coma" as a username yet. Certainly made me lol... that's an "English-language fail" worthy of That Wife.

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  7. Harriet M. Welsch


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  8. Amaryllis

    28 days, huh? Well then.

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    • sonotamused

      wasn't the name of a movie about a failed rehab stunt...?

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      • ativan annie

        All I can think of is 28 Days Later.

        Oh hey maybe Aunt Becky was actually bitten by a zombie.
        I'd donate to that Gofundme.

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  9. hashtagdeep

    I nominate this for the Things That Didn't Happen GOMI award.

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  10. Ham Cannon

    How does hardware get infected? Isn't it, like, metal?

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    • Wan Tortilla

      It happens but it's not the appliance, it's something that happens during the operation and they then have to redo the procedure. It can take a while for the infection to make itself known. I've seen it with a family member's hip replacement. The second rehab took a lot longer. None of which is to say that any of this makes actual sense.

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    • Those Weren't Puffins

      It's more accurately infection setting in around the hardware. Sometimes antibiotic beads or spacers are placed with the initial hardware, but I've seen cases where those end in infection as well.

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    • Like Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic

      Duh, it got a virus (badum-tisssssssh). (Sorry. I'll see myself out now.)

      But yeah, joint replacements/rodding a femur/etc. is open surgery and a patient can get an infection in there. Sometimes antiobiotics handle it, but sometimes they have to go back in to treat it by washing it out or removing the hardware.

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    • dayman

      Hardware is infected a lot more often than one might guess. And since it's not living tissue, antibiotics don't treat it and it often requires hardware replacement.

      It does not lead to coma, tho.

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    • Smart. Realy smart.

      It's the rare day that I get to say, "I know! I lived it!" but today is that day.
      Picture it: 1994. Car accident. Crushed femur. Steel rod inserted in leg. Two screws in the knee, one big screw in the hip. Infection around the big screw in the hip. Hardware replaced, infection treated, no coma, full recovery.

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  11. ariel_castle



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    • Those Weren't Puffins

      I had to open in another tab, but full text says "get some mental health help."

      I COMPLETELY concur.

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  12. betchplease


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  13. Army of Vaginas

    She's just trolling now ...

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