Mommy Blogging

Mr. “Hey Natalie Jean” Did Not Let An Animal Suffer

I JUST f**kING CAN NOT EVEN

Hey Natalie Jean, the advertiser friendly rebrand of Nat the Fat Rat, continues to attract new readers with her new persona. Unfortunately new readers tend to read your archives, and evidently an old entry has come to light on Nattypoo’s site that has completely freaked out new fans.

It seems a few years ago her father-in-law sent the happy couple an odd little schnauzer statue. They took this little dog statue on an adventure which they photographed, and lols were had by all. Oh wait, except right in the middle of this cute little anecdote, Ratalie casually recalls a story about a real live dog:

The Holbrooks have this thing with Schnauzers, it’s like their thing. There was once one named Schnapps, there was one named Spritzer. The one named Spritzer came into the family on The Holbs’s eleventh birthday and then I accidently inherited him when we got married and then one day Spritzer jumped off our third story balcony and then The Holbs strangled him to death out of mercy.

Yep. In 2009 awesome positive life lover Ratalie was flippantly sharing tales of her husband strangling a dog to death. And not in a horrified, this-memory-haunts-me way. In an ‘anyway the dog was hurt so the father of my child crushed the windpipe of a helpless animal, teehee here are pics of where I peed on a road trip’ kind of way.

I’m confused as to why this post is still up on her site. You’d think something like this would have been edited out during her rebranding. Or before. Or maybe just never posted at all. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be over here throwing up until forever.




  1. S-natch

    Holy WTF Batman. There are no words.

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    • Great Thundering Kittens

      Your darling little avatar shows my feelings perfectly.

      Reminds me of my narcissistic ex-boss telling me her husband was going to shoot their 16-year-old dog that day, to 'put him out of his misery," and her even more narcissistic daughter laughing and telling my appalled and astonished self that "a bullet costs $1.50, taking it to the vet costs $75, what do do you think? ha ha" Which made me want to drop kick them both in the nads, had they any.

      I freaking LOVE living in South Dakota, really I do.

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      • S-natch

        thanks.

        This is the original.. funny-gifs-part2_zpse6f6b38a.gif

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      • Who The Heck

        Dude. All of us SDans are not like that!!! I'm in the SF area. Wanna share where you are? PM me if you dun wanna announce it publicly and don't mind sharing.

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        • Great Thundering Kittens

          Same city, thank God. The only bastion of sense. :D

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          • Who The Heck

            Holy crap. If I ever manage to dig out of the hole I'm in I would totally buy you a beverage someday.

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            • Great Thundering Kittens

              :D You rock. Seems it's the siren song of SF, come here, enjoy, try to survive. Nice place though. I actually like it quite a lot.

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        • Great Thundering Kittens

          The ex-boss married a man who lived in the country, or should I say, married a house and a pension that just so happened to have man attached to them, in the country. Poor guy. That said, she seemed eager to buy into the rural attitude that animals are disposable objects and one should really not give one damn about them if they weren't useful in some way. Though she had no such qualms about taking her cats to the vet. I guess they were different, they were hers before she married him. Rather like this blogger. Since they 'came with the package' they don't really matter. I don't hate SD, I hate the stupid attitudes in many areas though. I've seen enough of them to last forever.

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        • Erin

          Another in SF SD here! (:

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          • Rachel

            Another SD resident here, but I'm up in Brookings. We should do a meet-up, before we all get buried in 8 feet of snow!

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            • Who The Heck

              I am totally going to post something in the meetup section at some point when I'm not drugged up.

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      • theMrsSnarks

        My husband brought home a dog one day from work because some guy on the construction site said he was giving it a 25¢ funeral. (I didn't even know what that meant until it was explained) we had that dog for a day before I realized why they hated it so much. But guess what? We kept it. It was the stupidest dog I've ever met but we certainly couldn't kill it. We should get some kind of award from PETA.

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    • cruelsound

      wtf-gif-walter-white.gif

      This is all I've got.

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  2. Jo Bethersonton

    I think I said everything about how shocking and sick this is in the forum.

    I guess I'll add that I'm just agog that she would think this is something to talk about on an aspirational family blog that exists basically to paint her in the most flattering light possible. I think it says something about the level of self-awareness we're dealing with here when we're like durrr Eugene Levy eyebrows and um, didn't Naomi get that purse last week?

    On that note, just try to imagine Taza writing about her husband strangling her dog to death. Yeah.

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    • MoreCoffeePlz

      images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQz1EXzxb2gJAVtlFqhRfNg4Xym04vYjNOqPS_xVOa__D7n7ymA

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    • kasey_gee

      I just created a username today, but have been reading for a while. Are the forums up and running and my computer illiteracy is preventing me from figuring it out? I still just see a long list of comments.

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      • v

        Refresh the page several times or clear your browser's cookies. :)

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    • ptt

      it's the flippant tone of the post that is disturbing. As one commenter in the forums pointed out maybe it was a knee jerk reaction/you don't know how you'd act in that situation but still. I don't think most people would think it was a humorous story to tell to the world...

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      • ptt

        I'm not saying that's an acceptable thing to do, just that what BunnyBingo said had some merit.

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  3. tvsociety

    I realize that booting your fur babies from the family flock once you have human babies is basically de rigueur for the Mormon mommy blogger set but I never imagined that such heartlessness could extend to something like this.

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    • roccocobang

      It is? That's nuts. Why?

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  4. seven-dollar sandwich

    Because strangling an animal is showing "mercy?" Pardon my French, but f**k you, Nat, and f**k your damn husband, too. SIckening.

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    • Jo Bethersonton

      I keep thinking that she's going to defend this by saying that she was exaggerating in her humorous adorable way or whatever. But that doesn't really make it any better. It might even make it worse (for her, for the dog's sake, I hope she is).

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      • courtesyof

        This is what I'm thinking. She'll prob say it was her ornery hyperbole. But it's not funny. It's INCREDIBLY DISTURBING. I don't even know why she would write that.

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        • dayman

          exactly. Normal humans do not joke about that or exaggerate a situation to make it sound like their husband killed a small animal on purpose. For the love of peep stones, that's a living creature.

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      • InsecureSportsBraWoman

        i mean how can you even "exaggerate" strangling your PET?? this wasn't like, my dog choked on a bone in front of me and died before we got it to a vet, this is someone purposefully refusing to take an animal to a vet and KILLING IT THEMSELVES WITH THEIR HANDS. you either either it was your own hands, or you didn't.

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  5. madlibs

    WHAT?! This actually horrifies me! How does someone put their hands around their family pet's throat and strangle it?! Also I baby the shit out of my dog, but there's no way he could ever possibly jump of a freaking balcony without someone noticing, how does that happen?!615.gif

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    • Who The Heck

      I can probably manage to "forgive" the balcony thing as freak accidents do happen. But to strangle the dog?! No farking way. Even if you are way far from possible vet care there are humane ways to euth an animal who is severely injured and strangling is not one of them.

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  6. hereforthefreefood

    I grew up on a ranch in the middle of bumf**k nowhere, and there were times my dad had to put down an animal that had been gravely injured or was deathly sick. There are merciful, humane ways to do it. Manual strangulation is not even close to being one of them.

    What a horrid, despicable person.

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    • BunnyBingo

      Yeah, I made a comment on the thread about being around when animals were put down on a farm. Humanely. Never heard of anyone ever strangling a dog and can't imagine it ever seeming like a good solution to this situation. So horrible. An emergency vet could have euthanised this poor animal quickly and painlessly.

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    • courtesyof

      Yes. Manual strangulation is a very (if not the most) intimate type of murder, and I'm pretty sure no psychologically sound person would ever feel comfortable doing this. I've said it here already, that I *hope* Rat was being stupid and made up the story or exaggerated things. But that still doesn't make it okay. It's horrific.

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      • Zandra

        No psychologically sound person would marry natalie, so there ya go.

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    • Central Scrutinizer

      This and and then using it as cutesy entertainment.

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    • heathersmether

      I did not grow up on a farm, but my hubby did. They had a dog put down at the vet, and it was so terrifying for their dog that Dad said they wouldn't do it at the vet again. So they didnt. He said the method was - a big and juicy steak, lots of loves and "good boys," and then bang. Not at all easy to do, but it's painless for the dog and they die in the happiest place possible.

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      • heathersmether

        I want to clarify that this was only in the event of an injury that could not be recovered from or incurable cancer as diagnosed by a vet. And I only know of it happening once. Just didnt want to make it sound like my husbands family was doing this indiscriminately.

        My MIL has made a joke that if she ever gets really sick and then sees a big hole in the woods with a cheesecake and a diamond ring inside, she's not getting in. Hahahahaha. Sorry if that's too much.

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        • The Old Bailey

          No, I know the experience too, sadly. Sometimes it is the best way, especially if the dog isn't used to/hates the vet.
          Your MIL is pretty funny.

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        • Locally Sourced Artisanal Children

          Not too much at all, I think actually really helpful. I'm pretty quick to euthanize in the face of prolonged pain. Don't believe animals can learn things from suffering the way people might, so I want to spare them pointless pain and fear. And even though I could never personally euthanize my own pet, I think people sh

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          • Locally Sourced Artisanal Children

            [sorry sausage fingers hit post] should be able to do it themselves if they can do it humanely. But the strangling story still gave me the horrified chills, right where all my humanity lives, and I couldn't quite explain the difference. Hearing how your husband's family does it makes that distinction oh-so-clear. (And for the record, I thought your MIL's joke was hilarious!)

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      • hereforthefreefood

        That's pretty much exactly how he did it. One shot, from behind, after lots of good love and snuggles and treats (sometimes laced with a little something to make the animal comfortable), and then...done. For the animals that were sick, usually my grandma would come out and make a diagnosis (she was a vet), and if it was untreatable or would prolong suffering, she'd leave the drugs with my dad, and he'd decide once it was time. Sometimes it was right away, sometimes we got a few more good weeks with them. He just felt the responsibility to be the one, to make sure his pets, our loved and cherished pets, left us with as much peace and dignity as possible. I will forever be grateful to him for being that kind of man.

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        • parsley

          Your dad sounds like an excellent human.

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    • The Old Bailey

      Exactly. My husband and I have both worked on farms. We are familiar with slaughter and euthanization. But the idea of strangling our pup with bare hands is just so far out of the realm of possibility--even a working, non-pet dog. Just, no. Never.

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      • La La Lou

        Yes. Million times this.

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  7. Respect privacy and lies OH MY

    This was posted by a reader in her thread and I thought it needed to be brought here:

    I think this says everything. From her Babble bullshit column:
    Here’s the deal. Peter Pan? He is killing me. Since Huck came home he has been 1. eating baby socks, causing intense intestinal distress (poops); 2. eating adult socks, causing us to think for sure the end is nigh, and then letting everybody down by surviving a full week with said sock chilling in his organs before vomiting it up while I changed a diaper; 3. stealing Sophie the Giraffe every chance he gets and absolutely soiling her with open mouthed kisses, leaving dog saliva and dust bunny remnants from his lair under the bed all over her Frenchly vegetable dye finish; 4. sitting on me every time I nurse Huck on the couch as if to say, “Human woman, do not forget that I was here first.”
    And Barnaby MacDuff? Well, he’s not so bad. Which I can’t even believe I am admitting. The dumb one? The one I never liked all that much? Is the one who can actually behave for once? Weird.
    And so now I am at a crossroads. I will openly admit that, yes, I love these dogs considerably less than I used to. And yes, I probably wouldn’t die a million deaths of heartbreak if they found a new home. But . . . somehow I just don’t have the guts to do it. Somehow I just . . . well . . . I love them, sort of. And in a few months when my husband graduates and starts full-time work and is no longer around to walk them in the afternoons, I’m going to have to find the mojo within me to do it for him. Big sigh of heaviness.

    Poor girl, she had to walk her dogs. Is that why she got rid of them? Did she get rid of them by strangling them with her bare hands because they wanted some attention and dared to slobber on her precious baby toy?

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    • S

      What the f**k?!

      xwQgU.gif

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    • bronzer_as_blush

      ....and with that, I deleted her from my blogroll.

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      • Micaela

        Ditto, sister. I gave her the benefit of the doubt for too long, but this is disgusting, and PP's original post made me cry. I cannot imagine doing that to my dog, who is just as much a part of my family as my siblings and parents. It is vile.

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    • tangerina

      "I will openly admit I love these dogs considerably less than I used to." Yeah understatement of the year. "Letting everyone down by surviving.."

      I'm sorry but what the f**k. I'm so angry/disgusted/sad I can't even formulate a good sentence to express how awful this is.

      Why is this on the internet Natalie?

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    • StephanieSays

      Not to defend her too much, but at least she got rid of them. We got our 7 year old German shorthair/Lab mix from a kill shelter. Her previous owners left her there because she was too much to deal with after they had three kids in five years. As angry as I was with their behavior (she was so depressed she wouldn't eat, wouldn't come to the front of the kennel when we went to see her, and was scheduled for euthanasia) I am also grateful they at least brought her to a shelter instead of just abusing her or dumping her on the streets somewhere. Plus, we adore her to pieces and spoil her. I have been known to sleep on the couch so she has room on the bed. Quite ridiculous. 015.jpg.html?sort=3&o=5

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      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan

        I'm so glad she found you and you found her. She looks like a sweet pup.

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      • dayman

        I am so glad you found her and they didn't just have her put down or abandon her...but godDAMN. I also had three kids in five years. you know where our dog is? Sleeping on a fancy orthopaedic bed in the living room between walks and peanut butter Kongs. Because NO. He never asked us to have babies. My brother and SIL did the same thing with their cats when their son was born and it just fills me with so much rage.

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      • Dr Phils Martini

        I will never judge a person who needs to use an animal shelter or rescue group (AS A LAST RESORT) to rehome their pet. I don't know what things people are going through, recently read a story about a woman who is expecting to go into hospice in the next couple weeks and needed to find homes for her two dogs, one is 5 and one is 7. A local rescue group was working with her so they could get adopted together in the same home. I also fostered for a rescue who would get lots of food or toy aggressive dogs that were turned over after accidentally biting a toddler or for just the fear of hurting omgosh new baby based on a previous behavior. While I personally would deal with the situation differently, like get a trainer or try alternative measures, I get it that shit happens or that there's some shit people just won't deal with. That's what these resources are there for. This woman killed her two dogs instead of dealing with a myriad of other, simpler options. That is the definition of animal cruelty.

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        • Dr Phils Martini

          Ack I read that so wrong. Her husband strangled the dog that fell off the balcony, and she didn't have two dogs. I get it now.

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    • DanceChickenDance

      ".....and then letting everybody down by surviving a full week with said sock chilling in his organs before vomiting it up while I changed a diaper"

      tumblr_mlzgux5gRW1rcy99do1_500.gif

      There are no words.

      original.gif

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      • AttilaTheHoney

        I keep trying to convince myself that that sentence is just written shittily and she means they were bummed it took him so long to hork it back up and not that they were dismayed that he had the nerve to not die, but considering her attitude, I don't think it's going to work out for me.

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        • DanceChickenDance

          At least you were nice enough to try. I, on the other hand, immediately put on my judgey pants of judgement and called her nasty names in my head (and on the internet). But after her comment clarifying the whole story, she looks even worse. So here I am, still judging her like it's my freaking job.

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          • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

            I'll join you in the judgement zone, I've brought cake.

            The sheer callousness on display from this person is terrifying. Sure, text is a poor medium for conveying emotion, but I can almost hear the flat affect in her voice,, g,4,,and see the thousand-yard stare as I read her words.

            My dog died ten years ago. She helped me to survive through my horrific teen years, then the things that happened in my early twenties. She was this girl's best friend. We'd had her for 14 years, having scored her from a shelter that was going to euthanise her the very next morning.

            Words can't sum up 14 years of sheer fun, weird adventures, daft dog habits and "That bloody dog!" moments of WTFery, She was amazing.

            She was ill for only a few hours on that last day, and on the journey to the emergency evening vet (only about twenty-five minutes, felt like a year) I promised her I would not allow her to suffer. The vet said that, given the state of her, it was a stroke or a brain tumour, and that at 15ish year's old any intervention would almost certainly just cause more suffering.

            It was the hardest and easiest decision of my life. I swear she started wagging her tail when I told the vet "No more pain. I promised her". She died in my arms as if she was just going to sleep, but not till she'd snuggled up to me and licked the tears from my cheeks.

            As humans that's the contract we make with our animals. They give us years of unconditional love, fun and happiness, and all we have to do is not let them suffer unnecessarily at the end of their lives.

            I miss her more than any person I've lost because she never hurt me or let me down. I'd love another silly lab but our situation isn't right to give a hypothetical pup 125%, so we're waiting. We care more about the needs of a hypothetical dog than this creature does about living, breathing animals. The dog-shaped hole in my heart can't be filled by another dog, like a jigsaw piece, but hopefully it'll make that hole shrink down a bit.

            I'm sad that this Natalie person will never experience that unique bond with a non-human.

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            • paleo muffin

              Could be all the brownies (sugar) in my belly, but I'm crying. Thanks for sharing. I hope to have a relationship with a dog like this someday.

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              • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

                I hope you do too! My poor wife has never had a dog, I've given her full-on canine fever though, so she's desperate for one too!

                Having a creature at your side who listens without interrupting, never judges you or lies to you, doesn't criticise, go behind your back, steal* from you, or manipulate you, is a gift. To have a companion who worships you and greets you as if you were the living embodiment of a goddess after you return from a ten-minute shopping trip, who can make you smile even when you're in the depths of despair and wanting to just give up, it's a slice of real-life magic.

                It was an honour to be her human. The strength and support I got from her made it possible to get through years of absolute misery, and she did it all without ever expecting anything in return.

                People who treat animals as if they were furniture, stuffed toys or fashion accessories, should not be allowed the privilege of the company of those animals. I've cut friends from my life for treating their dog like a status symbol while entirely neglecting her emotional needs, her doggy education and socialisation, and for giving her the same amount of love and respect as you'd give a shoe or coffee table. I wish I was in a position to steal her away!

                *Well- she was a lab, so the "doesn't steal" doesn't cover boxes of Turkish Delight, cakes, cheese sandwiches, tulips, daffodils, cuddly toys, slippers, etc. Oh, and not that live sparrow she once turned up with. Mouth suspiciously closed, cheeks bulging and a refusal to obey "Open up" or "Drop it!" were a dead giveaway that she was up to no good. So I opened up a jar of peanut butter and dabbed some on her nose. Out popped her tongue, aaand a rather confused little birdie. I still have no bloody idea how, why, or where it all started!

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    • Zandra

      How can she not have read that passage back to herself and have thought, 'damn, that sounds really horrible.'

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    • princessbelle1

      Is she kidding? That's not even bad. AT ALL. Newsflash, animals sometimes act like animals. I hate people that expect them to be just like furry children but automatically potty trained and well behaved. They're ANIMALS, they don't understand why eating socks is bad or why you don't want them on your lap at that exact moment. This is so sad.

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      • The Old Bailey

        The worst part is this is NOT the first time I have read an "omg, real mom talk time!!!1!" post on a blog about how the author basically hates her dogs now that the kids are here. I'm not saying no one can feel that way or that dogs have to be #1 after kids arrive, but don't f**king put that shit on the Internet. Please?! Just don't. And be a responsible f**king adult and find your dog a good home if you must get rid of it.

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        • ernst

          Every time one of my dog-owning fb friends posts that they are pregnant, I cringe, because I know that poor dog will never again have the same life. I know that having kids is a huge, giant life change and of course some things, including how much time you once spent with your pets, has to change. But it doesn't mean that you have to straight-up neglect/abuse your pets.

          Newsflash: Pets are assholes. They do shitty things. But you adopted them FOR LIFE, and they love you, so do not treat them like they are disposable.

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          • swimminginvinegar

            I have two small kids and a cat (who predates the kids). I feel so bad for the cat that the kids chase her. We keep them away from her as much as possible (its a small apartment) but I just want the cat to be happy and free and feel comfortable.
            One reason I didn't adopt a dog before I had kids because I knew that I couldn't handle both. Too many people treat dogs as stand-ins or practice children and then get rid of the animal when they have a kid. It wrong.
            Your job as a pet owner is to protect and care for your pet. If my sister's dog (and my sister reads here and I am not speaking out of turn) can be trained to handle my nephew being around, any dog can be.

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            • Harry is indeed a big dumb dummy (i will refrain from calling my sister one of her many adorable nicknames) and it is a process to train him. But it is the commitment we made when we adopted him. Just like we made a commitment to each other when we got married. Having a baby isn't a "get out of your prior commitment" card and using your baby to get out of your obligations is, sorry, total bullshit. Unacceptable.

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          • La La Lou

            I think for people who really love their dogs it doesn't matter. (I am sensitive about this bc I have a dog I adore and am pregnant.) We would never give away our dog after babe is born bc she is basically our first born child. We are having to modify her behavior a bit to get ahead of anything that might happen. (Like training her to stay off the couches when we are there). But she is a smart dog and very good with children (she licks my nieces and nephews a bit too much but she loves them petting her so much that she basically just plays dead). I have a couple friends who just had kids and have a dog or 2 and would never think of giving up their dog. Your relationship with your pet changes, sure, but you just have to make time for the pet. (My one friend just had a dog date with her dog where her husband looked after the baby and she spent the day with the dog). And my SIL has 3 kids and keeps adopting older dogs that people give away when they have kids bc she feels bad for the poor things. Her boys are super active but they love those damn dogs. *off soapbox*

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            • Jammy Ham

              So much this. I had my baby three weeks ago and the only thing that has changed for my three dogs is that the baby comes with us on our daily walk.

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          • Ombré disaster

            I have a cat that's been with me for many years AND thru thick and thin. So many people asked while I was pregnant -- what will you do with the cat? My son is now almost three. He and "his" cat are best buddies. Yes. There were moments the cat drove me batty but she is with us for life. This woman blogger is a f**knut.

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        • Ombré disaster

          I have a cat that's been with me for many years AND thru thick and thin. So many people asked while I was pregnant -- what will you do with the cat? My son is now almost three. He and "his" cat are best buddies. Yes. There were moments the cat drove me batty but she is with us for life. This woman blogger is a f**knut.

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      • Loves Dogs

        "They’re ANIMALS, they don’t understand why eating socks is bad "
        That's only funny because I have a puppy that hides them in his crate.

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      • Secret Internet Fatty, formerly Polecat

        My cats don't eat socks. But I do have one who thinks that toes are tiny, pink, hairless mice. He has done terrible, terrible things to toes.

        I have another one who really appreciates the fact that someone put awesome climby screen things in every single window JUST for her.

        Oh, and then there's clumsy cat who simply CANNOT jump on anything without knocking half of everything else down. Twice.

        I don't think any of my pets act like a perfectly behaved furry child. Even counting the guinea pigs who are caged and should therefore be more civilized. They're not.

        Come to think of it, even my kids don't act like perfectly behaved children. Maybe it's me. :P

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        • Snark-Infested Waters

          I had to laugh at the guinea pig comment, because I have terribly uncivilized guinea pigs as well. And an uncivilized corgi (who "came with the package," as some might say, when I married my husband), who loves the special cuddle time he gets with me after everyone else is in bed. And an uncivilized daughter, who loves her puppy and "piggy pigs" maybe a little too much for the animals' comfort, but we all live together in an uncivilized symbiosis.

          This woman and her husband (and countless others just like them) make me so ragey. Their attitude about pets is just... ugh.

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      • isthisreallife

        So really... This is totally my pug. Making a giant mess on purpose (or also it could be because she's a dog and ZOMG Trash! Trash, mom, I love trash!!!! I must spread it all over the bathroom!!) Guess what? She's still my little princess who gets walks and treats and fancy beds and belly rubs. Oh yeah, and I also have kids (who also adore her), sooooo I can't with these "I had kids and now hate my pets" people.

        giphy.gif

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        • princessbelle1

          I'm glad not everybody's like that, I've heard it a bunch of times from new moms too and it always makes me sad. I fall pretty solidly in the "likes animals more than kids/humans" camp so I don't get it and just assume people that do that are devoid of empathy. I guess it's good they gave the dogs to better homes like someone else said but I wish people had more foresight with their animals. Some get the pets right before the baby and then decide they don't want them anymore.
          My cat is a horrible demon and I'm pretty sure she does now what she's doing sometimes and still does it just to piss me off but I can't imagine secretly wanting her to die. When she got really sick and threw up all over the house, including on lots of expensive ass shit I really liked, I just wanted to take her to the vet and make sure she was OK. Never did I think "LOL I hope she dies so she won't do that anymore!!1" Assholes. Did they even take the dog to the vet when it ate those socks? Wtf. I still can't get over that nothing that dog did was bad at all. It steals a plush toy? It wanted to sit with you? Is she upset she had to spend money at the vet on it? That's just something that happens with animals.. did she really not realize that when she got them?

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          • Jalepinos & Beef Pork

            Yes, this. My older cat had a serious health issue three weeks before my wedding. We spent a huge chunk of money we had saved for the wedding on his medical care without even questioning it. His health and happiness were paramount to the party we were throwing. Then, when we had our son and the same cat started spite-peeing on every expensive thing he could, we gave him extra lovies, wet food and put everything away and out of his pee reach. We then worked really hard and spent a lot of money to get him happy, secure and using the litter box again. Giving him up at a shelter or hoping he'd succumb to a totally preventable health issue like swallowing baby socks NEVER were options. I was raised to value all forms of life and when you bring an animal into your home, you are committed to that animal for life and it is your job to make their life happy and loving.

            I used to like you, Natalie. Now I just think you're a heartless c**t.

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            • Secret Internet Fatty, formerly Polecat

              She's not warm enough, soft enough or pleasant enough to be a c**t.

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              • DanceChickenDance

                I legit laughed out loud at that. Well played, Secret Internet Fatty!

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              • Jalepinos & Beef Pork

                Leave to amend?

                Now I just think you're a used penis beaker on the night stand of Satan himself.

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              • A Damn Good Thrashing

                I love this so much. I am now going to rethink my use of 'c**t.'

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              • Sloth Snuggling Sasquatch

                I agree, c**ts are magnificent.

                She, OTOH, is nothing but a giant, festering arse-boil.

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              • Madbadrad

                She also seems to lack any depth and i bet is rather useless.

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        • strollermafia

          I am glad to see there are other sane parents in this world! That was one of my biggest fears when I was pregnant -- that I would somehow turn into an asshole who hated my dog. Luckily I have escaped that fate.

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          • parsley

            Our cat might not get as many long, leisurely cuddles as he used to, but we make damn sure he knows we still love him, care for him and that he is a huge part of our family. As a result he accepts our little boy as part of HIS family and watching them interact makes my heart burst with happiness. f**k people who get pets without taking into consideration the responsibilities that that brings.

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            • Ya know...I WANT to love on my two cats. But they seem to only want pets when they want them. Sometimes they get in my lap or when I sleep they are all up next to me. But if I want to love them, nopetupus. I don't know what that means. I guess it means they're cats?

              Pancakes also sometimes sits in the same room with me and BLINKS at me. Someone needs to explain this The Shining: Now With Cats shit to me. And then explain to me why I still love these freeloaders.

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              • Late Night Bacon

                Blinks is good! Blinks is happy/relaxed/lovey body language from cats. :)

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              • Foobs

                Seconded on Blinks. Between those an the near bloddy noses I've gotten from headbutts, my jerk of a cat can be as nopetupus as he wants.

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    • strollermafia

      This is actually sickening.

      I never understood how people could be so f**king compassionless toward their pets after having a baby. She's getting annoyed with her dog for wanting to sit on her lap and getting sick after ingesting foreign bodies?

      Dealing with dogs and babies or toddlers can get rough, but come the f**k on. It is not that hard to put your kid in a stroller and walk your lazy post baby ass around the block once or twice a day.

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      • Extremely Large Size Medium

        I've always been an animal lover, but having a baby has only softened my heart in every imaginable way. I care more about people in general than I used to, but I also care just as much about animals and am broken-hearted by anything bad.

        Having kids shouldn't make you a worse person. The idea that it does for some people makes me sick, and makes me worry about their parenting as well, tbh.

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    • twisted pearls

      Loved them less? What? We rent a beach place every year and I carry the African frogs in the front door. They're tiny little critters, the size of a quarter. We also bring the rescue poodle. And the rescue mutt.

      TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER *******************************************************************

      We had a dog die after eating a sock on Thursday morning and she refused food that night. To vet Friday for X ray. He kept her till Monday, tried laxatives, called us. We drove her to the surgeon. Surgery scheduled for Tuesday. Monday night N died of peritonitis, infected appendix exploded and she died a horrible death

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  8. Eyelash Sweater

    What a painful and scary death for that dog.

    Shame on her for turning it into a humorous aside.

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    • melondrama says to fill up the penis beaker

      The passage is like a one-two punch of awfulness. The murder itself is horrible enough, but using it as a cutesy punchline, like "hehe I realized I had spinach in my teeth the whole time!"

      Fuuuuuck heeeerrrrrr.

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      • isthisreallife

        +1

        Exactly this.

        I can't.... I just can't ever fathom the thought line of "My pet just jumped out of a window to : so I must strangle it." WTAF???? Normal people thought line, "My pet just jumped out of a window, where the ever loving f**k is the nearest emergency vet?!"

        Then to use it like, "Haha so this one time, at band camp!" bullshit throwaway story - yeah no.

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  9. J g jordan

    Not on the subject but talking about mormom mummy bloggers i always wondered what happened to katie did/ squarespace. Oh and talking down a post about people stealing baby pics. Did she learn and got lost? Shame because i always loved her blog. Not many good blogs left now. Thelilbee was a good one too, right?

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  10. hereforthefreefood

    God, the more I think about this, the sicker it makes me feel. If they lived in an apartment, I'm assuming they didn't have a backyard, so what did they do with the poor dog after it was dead? Toss it in a dumpster? If they didn't think to call a vet to have the poor thing euthanized, I highly doubt they were thoughtful enough to call someone to dispose of his remains in a respectful manner.

    I don't know who's more of a psychopath: her husband for killing their pet with his bare hands, or this f**king c**tbag for writing a blog post and including this as a lighthearted aside. Ugh, I need to close my laptop, I'm getting heartburn from this.

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  11. boxovinopcoltrane

    you have never seen crazy until you see me freak out on someone who has gleefully posted about an animal's unfortunate death.

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    • InsecureSportsBraWoman

      thats the worst part -- she is genuinely amused by the whole thing. i dont even know how to respond to that because that's just disgusting.

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      • boxovinopcoltrane

        My immediate psychological response is to put her in a stranglehold and

        Oh, I really shouldn't say what I'd like to see happen to her.

        Over and out. I can't even read this anymore.

        PP, I love your site, but I seriously CANNOT with people hurting animals and getting any sort of publicity (positive or negative) from it. This Natalie "person" needs to be locked up and silenced, period. I just can't. Break time.

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  12. PigglyWiggly

    This is so f**king disgusting I can't even form proper sentences. These people have gone on to have other pets and now children at their disposal. Nothing about this is light hearted or funny or cute. It's shameful and despicable and so many other horrible things. Ratalie is clearly a horrible, horrible person. Even if she lied, it's still really stupid to ever be able to think something like this could be funny. Their family can get the f**k off my internets right now. There are already enough psychos on the Internet and in the world. I'm adding these two to the ranks.

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