Lifestyle Blogging

Cup Of Jo Adds Another Jo Clone To Staff

Jo Goddard, Shakespeare expert, has finally found a new editor for her yawn farm, ‘Cup of Jo‘. To the surprise of nobody  the new hire is yet another skinny white brunette Brooklyn type. When commenters responded with some bewilderment that Jo hired just another Jo Clone, she replied that she is totes going to hire some diversity.

we’re hoping to hire another person later this year, and we have some great new freelancers of different races, ethnicities and sexual orientations, so please stay tuned!

Look, let’s be honest: Cup of Jo isn’t really a site targeted towards chubby wage-job having Latinas living in Orlando. It’s pretty clearly an upper middle class thin white ‘creative’ Brooklyn lady site. So I don’t even know wtf she would accomplish forcing diversity into her brand, other than getting buttpats for trying.

But hey, take that, complainers! Or something. I’m not even sure what she means by this. So she’s going to actively TRY to hire in some diversity now that people have commented on her fleet of Jos? I dunno, maybe it’s just me but it kind of smacks of tokenism to suddenly announce you’ll be bringing on “different races, ethnicities and sexual orientations” after your readers bring up your lack thereof.

 


19

Mommy Blogging

Art Of Making A Baby Finally Announces Divorce

Elena, expert in the art of not making homosexual babies, has finally acknowledged that she and her robotic looking husband are no longer joined in a mutually beneficial financial arrangement.

In her announcement post she says she is coming clean because divorce is “not a subject widely discussed or talked about” and “it should be”.

I can’t discuss the whys here. It wouldn’t be fair to Lexi’s dad…I don’t hold anything against him, and hope to stay friends and parents and hope that with time he will not hold anything against me.

Evidently they’ve been over for 2 years, which “some of you have noticed”, and Elena says she will finally be moving into her own house or condo. She tells other women who may be thinking about divorce that “It’s never an easy decision, but I think taking your time to make it, without emotions, using logic, can help make the right one.” She then vagueblogs that “it’s not good to be with someone who doesn’t love you” and says she would rather be alone.

She concluded by saying this would be the “only post about this matter” and she also “will not answer questions, comment on the matter”, because while she’d like to “pour my heart out on the blog about every detail of the separation” she realizes it’s a public blog and “I don’t want anyone’s feelings hurt”.


33

Lifestyle Blogging

Jordan Reid’s Dream Predicted 9/11

Jordan Reid, ramshackle trains of thought, honored Memorial Day by informing everyone she had a premonition about 9/11.

On September 11, 2001, I woke up several hours before my first class because I was startled awake by a dream in which I died in a fiery explosion. In this dream I went to heaven, where I sat on a hilltop and watched things burn way down below. I wanted to remember that dream, and sat down at my computer to start writing it down. And so I was awake when my father called to tell me about the plane that had hit the World Trade Center.

She says she ran downstairs to tell everyone but they “just kept eating breakfast” like it wasn’t a big deal because they weren’t as psychically in tune with true patriotism as Jordan.

She then reprinted a piece about how Trump is the next Hitler or something, imploring us to contemplate politics while she headed off to “go drink some beer and lay in the sun and be happy I have the day off”.


35

Healthy Living Blogging

Hungry Runner Girl Is Engaged

Congrats on your properly moisturized hand situation!

Congrats on your properly moisturized hand situation!

Janae, previously divorced, is now engaged. She has allegedly known her fiance for about two months. She talked about their meeting in a recent post.

…we were set up on a blind date and we clicked instantly (although, I was my normal awkward self of course for that first date and talked a million words per minute and told stories that had no relevance to anything)….  It was weird because I even told about 8 people leading up to the blind date that I had a really good feeling about this one…

Anyway, they got engaged last night and this morning they celebrated by running ”5 celebratory miles” because I guess that’s what healthy active people do to honor a happy occasion.


23

Lifestyle Blogging

Cupcakes And Cashmere Will Elevate Your Culture’s Textiles And Then Sell Them

Emily Schuman, the clean fresh hair behind Cupcakes and Cashmere, launched her eponymous bedroom decor line this week. It allegedly sold out on the Nordstrom site within hours, though it was all back in stock like half a second later so I’m not sure how that qualifies as “sold out”.

She says she wanted the line to feel “intentional”, I guess because “intentional” is the new “curated” and can’t be used by everyone often enough to describe everything they do or buy or make. She then explains her inspiration.

The Moroccan Geo pillow is a personal favorite, with prints and tassels you might see on traditional Hammam towels, while many of the colorful, embroidered pillows are inspired by our trips to Mexico. The rainbow of pinks, golds, and greens is a bright reminder of one of my favorite places in the world.

This of course resulted in people calling Cuppy out for her “orientalist mind” and “unispired” copying of native fabrics.

…Besides your counterfeit Mexican heritage fabric, the Moroccan Geo pillow pattern is actually one found in Turkish hammam towels, not Moroccan ones. There is a difference between Turkey and Morocco…

…I’m stunned that her line blatantly copies Otomi fabric/embroidery, which is Mexican folk art made by indigenous populations in Mexico…

Culture poaching aside, the collection is about as a big a yawn farm as you’d expect from Cuppy. Safe blues and whites and beiges in patterns of ‘lace’ and ‘dot’ and ‘stripe’, and color pop/decor trends that went out in 2014. None of it really seems much more special than any Martha Stewart crap in the discount bin so I have no clue how it “sold out” but whatever. I don’t understand Cuppy’s appeal in general so maybe it’s just me.


19

Internets WTF

Amanda Lauren Is Glad You’re Dead

wtfamanda

Amanda Lauren, bridesmaid dress expert, had a post published yesterday on XOJane in which she explains why she is glad her former friend died. Some reasons included not being the kind of adult Amanda felt she should be.

…something about her mindset that had had just stopped evolving after high school. Her apartment was always filthy and her bedroom had clothing strewn about everywhere. She didn’t take pride in her home or respect her own property…She also didn’t have real boyfriends or go out on dates. While dating in L.A. is hard, I feel like she probably had no concept of how to be in a relationship.

Other reasons included her Facebook feed not being up to Amanda’s standards.

While most Facebook posts, at least in my feed, are pictures of engagements, weddings, vacations, children, pets and links, her page felt like the diary of a fourteen-year-old girl with an eating disorder from a Lifetime movie circa 1993…She also frequently posted about how she was mentioned on entertainment shows, talking about the status of her relationships with various celebrities.

Her friend was also apparently a “cam girl” and “there were basically nude clips and pictures all her over her page”. But mainly, Amanda seems glad she died because her friend was mentally ill.

It sounds horrible to say, but her death wasn’t a tragedy, her life was…Schizoaffective disorder robbed her of reaching her potential…She was alone and terribly unhappy when died…This girl had nothing to live for.

Amanda wrapped up her post with this wonderful feel good conclusion.

She would have either been institutionalized or a major burden on her family. There was just no way she would have survived on her own. Drowning to death was relatively painless compared to what she had to endure in life.

Truly a touching tribute to a former friend struggling with mental illness. The post is now marked ‘Anonymous’.


219

Internets Vlogging

Monica Will Copy Your Videos

Jaime Primak Sullivan, uploads videos on Facebook, recently discovered something very weird.

jaime5

What she found was some random apparent wannabe Facebook blogger reciting her video content in her own video. Word for word. The woman, Monica Dominguez Alvarez, is shown in an edited video next to Jaime’s original as she tearfully tries to pass off some kind of ‘it gets better’ pep talk as her own.

 

Obviously Monica responded in a mature, apologetic manner. LOL JK of course she didn’t. She immediately began posting about how women should support each other before finally turning to pure bravado.

Screen Shot 2016-05-20 at 10.29.14 AM

Jaime’s supporters are telling her to fire off cease and desist letters and report the videos, but is there even anything that can really be done about something like this? Other than public shaming, of course.


11