Mommy Blogging

Kristen Howerton Invites You To Mock Your Children

umyeahasshole

Kristen Howerton, the wonderful human being behind “Rage Against The Minivan“, is cashing in on the latest parenting trend – shaming your children for comedic effect.

She has started up an instagram and a blog promoting her “A**hole Parents” hashtag. She put out a call on her own gram account, asking people to submit pictures. The images are basically children being children, because, ya know, how dare they. These pictures are then captioned by parents who are apparently tired of their little angels not being appropriately grateful or well-behaved 24/7.

I assume this is all supposed to be just hilarious to other parents, but it all comes off like a bunch of bitter martyrs wanting to whine about their kids refusing to act like adults. And I’m sure their kids will really appreciate being paraded as some kind of brat for the lols of the entire planet just so mommy could participate in a hashtag, but sure. Mommy solidarity or something.


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Internets

Gluten-Free Girl Is Selling Flour And Other Snackable News Content

Gluten-Free Girl has a shop up on her site to sell that Kickstarter flour she was going to produce. 2 1/2 lbs of her super special flour will cost you about $26 with shipping. That seems reasonable.

Young House Love‘s second book Lovable Livable Home: How to Add Beauty, Get Organized, and Make Your House Work for You is evidently going forward despite the closure of their blog. It is up for pre-order on Amazon.

Love Taza begins encroaching on World Famous Author Natalie Jean’s Brooklyn Hipster kingdom by announcing she’s ‘in Williamsburg’ working on ‘something exciting’.

Super successful blogger The Feminist Breeder is having a personal debate about whether to accept a real job or continue being broke and selling off her stuff on craigslist.

Some fashion blogger named Mimi G is taking herself on a “multi-city tour” to teach you how to be a successful blogger. I’ve never heard of her, so I will not be signing up.

And CecilyK, ‘snackable content’ expert, will be taking her hair to NMX in order to speak about being a successful content marketer. Because when people think of success, they think of Cecily Kellogg for sure.


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Healthy Living Blogging Internets

Whole Pantry Empire Begins To Crumble

The Whole Pantry, the app and community created by magical mystery cancer lady Belle Gibson, appears to be unraveling. The app is apparently no longer found on the Apple App Store – and publisher Penguin has pulled the ‘Whole Pantry’ book.

…we have been left with no other option but to stop supplying the book in Australia. We remain hopeful that we will receive the formal assurances we have requested in the coming days…

Since Belle’s instagram has been emptied of photos and the Whole Pantry facebook page seems to be unavailable, media outlets can only continue to wait for some sort of statement from Belle about what exactly is going on.


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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Will Make You Pose With That Dolphin

PERFORM FOR MOMMY

Taza, of the von Derp Family Performers, is taking a break from sponsored food box posts to faff around Hawaii on a sponsored trip to some resort. While there, she shoved her daughter up to a captive dolphin because vacation or no, the show must go on.

I won’t get into my feelings about this sort of thing, but hey, the dolphin got some fish afterwards. So at least someone is getting paid for their performance, right?


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Book Club Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging WTF

‘Hey Natalie Jean’ – A Liveblogged Book Review

I received a lovely gift today – a copy of ‘Hey Natalie Jean’, the world tour worthy freshman book effort by the blogger formerly known as Nat the Fat Rat. Because I so enjoy drinking and falling on grenades for my GOMIBLOG hamily, I will now proceed to use my day off to read this with a bottle or five of prosecco and update this post in real time with my thoughts, including pictures. Just keep on hitting refresh – I’ll get the first part up and then continue updating as I read. Off we go!

On to the TL;DR…


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Healthy Living Blogging

Healthy Living App Developer Probably Didn’t Cure Her Cancer

Belle Gibson, who has apparently built an empire based on fixing her cancer with food, is now being scrutinized for her repeated claims of having malignant cancer.

Belle took her social media fame and launched an app, The Whole Pantry. Since the world just loves doomed pretty women (there’s a reason La bohème keeps getting adapted, folks) Belle became a darling of the Australian HLB scene. She was able to spin the app into a book deal. In the midst of her increasingly dramatic claims of cancer spreading to multiple organs, Belle went on tours and speaking gigs to push her ‘brand’.

But after her book was published people started asking some questions about Belle’s ‘cancer’. Bloggers started questioning her claims. Her friends and fans suddenly started demanding medical proof of her multiple cancers – according to Belle, a malignant brain tumor which last year ‘spread’ to her liver, kidneys, blood, spleen, brain and uterus. When the publisher of her book came forward to admit they never really even checked out her stories, all glorious thundering hell broke loose. Friends are no longer holding back and are revealing odd social media spins she’s been doing for years.

She would post on social media that she’s been at doctor’s appointment all day but really she was just going to the dentist … she got her veneers done. She would make it sound like it was for cancer-related illness.

Belle is now claiming she was ‘misdiagnosed’ and since she apparently can’t or won’t even name the doctors she’s been seeing for all this alleged cancer, basically no one believes her any longer. She’s being examined by Consumer Affairs in Victoria over claims she failed to hand over proceeds raised for charity. She is now being referred to as the “previous Managing Director” by the Whole Pantry people.

So there goes that. Another personal lifestyle brand built on a house of cards collapses on itself. I just don’t understand why someone would fake having cancer. In this day and age how can they expect to get away with it forever? But hey, scrubbing the internet means it never happened…right?


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Healthy Living Blogging

HLBs Will Begin A War Over Misleading Photos

Taralynn McNitt, salad blogger, is apparently the queen of flattering photo angles that erase about 20 lbs. Unfortunately for her she went on some kind of fitness vacation with a bunch of other bloggers, who had no problem posting pics of Taralynn in all her unedited glory.

One HLB even responded to a commenter on her recap post regarding TL’s wildly different appearance in her pictures versus the pictures posted by other attendees.

boom

What’s that, you say? A blogger posting inaccurate selfies, who cares Alice? Well really no one would care…except for the fact that she uses these misleading photos to sell herself as a fitspo salad pusher – which makes some people blast her for causing eating disorders among her followers or something. But some folks are “over” poor Taralynn being blamed for anyone’s disordered habits.

Finally, I’m over everyone blaming Taralynn’s blog for creating “full-blown” eating disorders.  YOU are responsible for your actions; stop blaming others and grow up.  Taralynn has deep rooted issues and constantly playing the victim is denial and an excuse not to own up to her mistakes.  That is exactly what these accusers are doing as well.

So if you enjoy some quality HLB slapfighting and drama and want to kill some time this fine Monday afternoon, head on over to the Salads in the South thread. Then come back and explain to me what the hell is going on because honestly I cannot sort it all out.


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Healthy Living Blogging

Mr. KERF Won’t Waste Food

In yet another classic display of the Younger family’s civic mindedness, Matt, husband of KERF, has clarified his feelings about not selling the bread produced in his bakery.

fakery1

I don’t understand. Donating it to local food banks in the dead of winter is the same thing as throwing it away? I mean…ok, fine, feel however you want as a business owner. But maybe if you want to pose yourself as some local family bidness at least publicly pretend to care about the local community.

Perhaps Natalie Jensen could purchase some to eat on the subway?


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Internets SOMI

SOMI: Pattern Behavior

It’s been a while, but I had to give you a SOMI with which to kill your Friday lunch hour.

hahahaats

Behold, “Pattern Behavior“. You crafting/sewing forum folks will love it, but I’m having some hearty chuckles myself. Enjoy!


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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

NatalieNow Is Just Like A Homeless Person

Natalie Hill Jensen, her ring, look at it, apparently still hasn’t had time to get her big rebrand off the ground. I guess she’s too busy escaping her married life in BFE Utah in order to ride around the NYC subways.

lololnot

Her ring! Look at it! And then scratch your head as you try to figure out what eating two donuts on a subway – while on your way to eat even more food – has to do with being “like a homeless person”.


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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean Book Preview Proves Anyone Can Get A Book Deal, And An Open Post

This is a quick post because it’s five minutes until noon and I have to get ready to start drinking, but the sample pages for the ‘Hey Natalie Jean‘ book are online. You can check them out here. I think we can all agree this is a tome worthy of a world tour.

And we haven’t had an open post in a while, so you can also go nuts about other topics if you like.


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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean Prepares For Worldwide Book Tour

Natalie Holbrook, who recently implied her family can’t afford “private” pre-k for their child unless she bombards her blog with affiliate links, is apparently taking her 176 page vanity book on a worldwide tour.

Saying she has “a gold saint christopher, patron saint of traveling, for good book tour planning juju”, she claims her “first stop come april” is “berlin!” and went on to tweet that she’ll be all over Europe afterwards – presumably promoting her ‘book’.

dearlord

She also hinted she’ll be jetting around the U.S. saying she was “having a hard time picturing which states came in what order when i began the planning for my stateside book tour”.

I guess her publishers are expecting Bratalie to be the next J.K. Rowling or something if they are sending her on a promotional trip of this magnitude. And yes, I am assuming someone is footing the bill for this globe trotting since poor little Natty was claiming this side of two weeks ago that they needed the “help in the income department” from her shopping posts full of affiliate crap.


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Mommy Blogging

Mumspringas Are Apparently The New Ladyblogger Trend

An odd trend has been rising over the past two years. Mommy/Lifestyle bloggers around their early 30s are sticking the toddlers in daycare and heading out for piercings and tats and all day ‘me time’ and all night ‘party time’. It seems young ladybloggers with young kids just become bored with themselves and begin flailing about for some kind of new personality angle.

SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME

SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME

Enter the ‘Mumspringa’. Ladybloggers between 28-32, usually with children under 5, suddenly start expressing a desire for tattoos or piercings; their personal style takes a turn into obvious try hard; they begin randomly talking about sex and sexuality (and making sure you know they own sex toys).

MY BREASTS ARE DOWN HERE, BOYS

MY BREASTS ARE DOWN HERE, BOYS

Suddenly they want to drink and wear see through clothes and go braless and get septum rings, and most importantly they want YOU to know they do these things. The only thing missing from the almost adolescent self-expression is pony tails, rollerskates, and ‘Hot Child In The City’ on full blast while they try to eat popsicles seductively in front of omgsocute boys.

So what is this all about? Why are mommy bloggers who haven’t even hit 35 suddenly behaving like a bunch of bored middle aged women whose kids just left for college? Or am I the only one seeing a pattern because I’m bored on a Sunday night? Do questions at the end of posts actually foster discussion when the blogger tells you to take it to their Facebook page?


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