Presenting The 2015 GOMI Holiday Gift Guide

Don’t you just love gift guides? Every year every blogger alive craps out an affiliate link bonanza disguised as a helpful list of gift ideas. They’re always color coordinated, or themed, or sometimes just straight up sponsored. But each season they saturate the blogging landscape with their attempts to get you to give the greatest gift of all – a percentage of the sales in a blogger’s bank account.

Now it’s GOMIBLOG’s turn. Behold, a handy gift guide for the hamcat in your life.


1. Maybe you have a hamcat who can’t have a real cat. That’s sad. But you can give them a desk calendar with a year of cats to love!

2. Upgrade your hamcat pal from grocery store person to La Crooset person! Added bonus: they can chuckle to themselves over “dutch oven” jokes as they prepare a lonely meal alone by themselves alone while lonely.

3. They’ll obviously need something to cook in their new La Crooset, so how about some drugstore canned ham?

4. If you’re going to show off your engagement ring in the GOMIBLOG Forums you’ll need to moisturize your hand situation.

5. Every hamcat appreciates a fresh pair of the official GOMIBLOG uniform – men’s sweatpants from Wal-Mart!

6. And of course those sweatpants aren’t complete without a nice film of Cheetos dust.

7. After that ham and Cheetos feast a hamcat will need to waddle to the restroom. A great helper stick can help them stay clean!

8. And for that hamcat who does have a cat and sometimes leaves their house a nice pack of lint rollers can be the perfect stocking stuffer.

Happy Holidays and have a wonderful weekend shopping for that special GOMIBLOGer in your life – or just for yourself!

This post was created in partnership with Baconcat and Pancakescat. Thank you for supporting the two housecats that do absolutely nothing to help out GOMIBLOG as they train for the Olympic Napping Team. Seriously though there are no affiliate links here.


    GOMI Gift Guide - when we all laugh then privately think "Hey, I actually want most of those..."

    THIS! (116)  NOPE! (7)

    • The Disagreement Banana Exists For A Reason

      More like "I want half of these, I already have the rest at home."

      THIS! (80)  NOPE! (2)

    • Audrey Horne

      Oh to not be a grocery store person. A girl can dream.

      THIS! (31)  NOPE! (0)

      • Audrey Horne

        Er. The not was a typo. Still works though.

        THIS! (7)  NOPE! (2)

    • Fancy Eleganza

      Dibs on the Bliss hand cream.

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    • ~A


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    what about a boxed wine suggestion?

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    • magic sex juju

      Agreed. We need a nice wine pairing with all this joy.

      THIS! (9)  NOPE! (4)

      • smauge

        Ah cask wine. One of the many great things my people have given the world.

        THIS! (6)  NOPE! (2)

      • Nicole Bitchie

        WHERE'S THE FRANZIA??!!?

        THIS! (7)  NOPE! (2)

    • Patron Saint of Fine Art


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        There is literally a Karen gif for every possible scenario in my life. She is everything.

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  3. StonedSoup


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    • Chicken Circus

      What a classy way to use your helper stick, fellow Ham.

      THIS! (24)  NOPE! (1)

      • I Want a Donut So Bad

        A selfie-stick for hams!

        THIS! (11)  NOPE! (4)

  4. Germ-X Slathering

    Sadly, there are no wine offerings listed. What do you pair the Cheetos with, other than the ubiquitous Mountain Dew?

    THIS! (10)  NOPE! (2)

    • Israeli Hand Fart Maestro

      I find that a fine chilled Dr. Pepper's sweet bubbles redolent of some unknown fruit is a perfect foil for the salty cheese crunch nuggets. For extra refinement, upgrade your Cheetos to the feisty jalapeno cheddar variety.

      /snotty voice

      Seriously, though, jalapeno cheddar Cheetos are friggin' CRACK.

      THIS! (18)  NOPE! (4)

  5. Mockingbored


    THIS! (37)  NOPE! (1)

  6. maths

    "handcreme up, mother f**kers" will forever be my favorite thing to yell drunk and totally out of context, preferably in a room of people who are casual acquaintances at best.

    THIS! (82)  NOPE! (1)

    • Audrey Horne

      I will always remember that sweet comment directed at my dry disgusting ham hocks.

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  7. Virginia Apple

    PP, you forgot to curate a boxed wine selection.

    THIS! (7)  NOPE! (3)

    • Posing sexily with Stilton

      An international boxed wine selection. I feel Franzia is US ham specific. Sainsbury's own-brand boxed wine? Lambrini? I need to know what I'm missing out on.

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  8. Brain Sturgeon

    I would totally buy cheetos through GOMI affiliate links.

    THIS! (25)  NOPE! (2)

    • I visited Morocco at Epcot

      Does Amazon have a Subscribe & Save option?

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  9. Tea Crumpet

    Hams, calm down. Obviously PP is waiting for New Years to reveal her discerning taste in box wines.

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  10. Snarkholm Syndrome

    I'm ashamed I clicked on the helper stick link to see if it was a real thing. (It is.)

    THIS! (42)  NOPE! (0)

    • Resentment Rental

      No kidding ... the things I've learned on GOMI!

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      • smauge

        Ok, me too. But I'm kind of afraid to open the tab, lest it be something I can never unsee again.

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        • New Colorways!

          There's lots of that on GOMI front page! (:

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    • Wheaty Shackles

      I was tempted to click but my huscat's computer is networked with mine, so everything I shop for shows up on his FB ads.
      On second thought, for that reason I should click on it.

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    • Concerned wiper who requires no utensils

      I clicked on the helper stick too because american arm length has remained constant while butt size has increased and i've had a disturbing fascination with the consequences.

      THIS! (21)  NOPE! (3)

  11. Baby cheeses

    I'll admit I was curious and I clicked on the asswiping thingy but alas it is made in China. Maybe you can find a locally sourced one. TIA

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    • Brain Sturgeon

      Artisanal upcycled asswiper.


      THIS! (31)  NOPE! (2)

      • Moscow Mule

        Check Etsy. I'm sure someone is making an eco-friendly bamboo version in a warehouse in Brooklyn.

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        • our carefully laid plans

          ...that comes in your choice of turquoise, mint, pale pink, or black to remain representative of your aesthetic.

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          • Snarky McSnarkypants

            In chevron patterns

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  12. Uvabird

    I'll hipster up my favorite choices with an ampersand.

    Sweatpants & Ham

    Ham & Butt Selfie Stick

    Lint Roll & Ham

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    • NOPE

      Dont you mean HAMpersand?

      Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

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      • Jump Rope Villain

        What you did there: I see it.

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    • Nope

      Flora & Cheetos

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  13. tender vittles

    I love the walmart men's sweatpants! (actually, mine are from target, so fan-say)

    THIS! (15)  NOPE! (1)

    • river.tam

      Another fan here. I can't find women's sweatpants with pockets. Where would I store my Cheeto's?

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