Fashion Blogging Internets

RewardStyle Queen Is Baking A Princess

ugh

Today in nothing’s sacred news, Amber Venz Box, the coppertopped overlord of RewardStyle, has announced she has a little liketoknowit in the oven. She and her husband Baxter Box are expecting a daughter this fall. Obviously the woman who invented Put A Monetize On It! couldn’t just throw up a twee post with some baby shoes or something – she put up a credit filled announcement party post.

I am elated to finally share some news with you that Baxter and I have been keeping secret for the last few months: WE ARE EXPECTING A BABY GIRL! Little B.B. will be joining us this fall!

The post included a giveaway for readers complete with yay follow 2 different instagrams and also tag a mommy you know, and a whole bunch of legal contest rules. Why just say ‘guess what, I had sex with Bento Box’ when you can contest sponsor the crap out of it, right? No word yet on whether there will be custom Baby Box shoes in which to attend the Rockstud Rodeo, but I’m sure that kid will be kitted out better than a Honda in a Fast/Furious movie.

Aw ok snark over, I’ve had some (all the) wine tonight and I’m a bit soft, so congrats to the obviously happy couple. Good luck little Baby Box and Amberlamps – and hooray for wannabe fashionable mommy bloggers! Something tells me a whole new world of affiliate cash is about to open up to you.




  1. Ruby Jiselle

    So...5 minute wait after birth to start monetizing?

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  2. Bloatation device

    I should look up who the hell these people are but if the dude looks that disgusting and the b***h acts like everything is all about her and plus money money money, nah....I won't look them up just yet.

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  3. People of the Tent

    No idea who they are but the dude is a honey!!

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Bent Over Thigh Gap

      If you like the Billy Ray Cyrus look, I guess. billy_ray_cyrus_5959.jpg

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • 1lazyeye

        hahahahaha

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • Madame Zen

        I THOUGHT THE SAME THING!!!

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • Ceranimals Again

        I'm with you POT, I think hes easy on the eyes. Along with mr. cyrus, lol

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • C

      Inititally I may have thought so too, but then I realised he reminds me of that guy in the IT crowd (Matt Berry) and now I'm associating him with that character.

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  4. Dildo McSquee Oven

    I like that distracting sideboob was invited to that party.

    "It's just us, our relatives and close friends, and my inappropriate boob sag."

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • What would you say...you DO here?

      I think he's a little pudgy but cute. I am currently wearing Earth shoes, so forgive my fashion ineptitude, but what's holding her boobs in that dress??

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  5. Comrade Sportiva

    There's an actual human being walking around the planet with the name Baxter Box? Shut the fridge door.

    Also: they threw a party, but there is no one else in the photos? I call bull shit.

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Seaside Honey Fantasia

      I don't know...there is definitely the whole "keep me off your shitty blog" thing but this looks super staged and not at all like an actual party and way more like a photo shoot only.

      {Edited to say: I know nothing of these people. This could be how they party, alone, with a photographer.}

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Too Lazy To Log In

      I work in the party industry and see these "staged" party photos all the time. I call SHENANIGANS. She threw a party for herself. I doubt anyone else was invited.

      See: The part where only one plate (but not the others) have food on it. Did they hire a one-armed servant to slowly walk around the table and ladle food onto each dish? No?

      THIS! (1)  NOPE! (0)


      • Peen Dough

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  6. rhetorical chloroform

    Why is there.... meat in his drink? Like, I like those twiglet things too, but I would never order a cocktail with one stuck in it like some kind of demented pork swizzle stick unless I was really, really high.
    Also, why arent they affiliate linking said meat sticks? Is Aldi's too low brow for them?
    This bothers me way more than her dress being unbuttoned, or his weird pants.

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • The Oats of Wrath

      Bloody marys often come with those meat swizzle sticks.

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • Bent Over Thigh Gap

        And then you have Sumo Mary. It has all the meats.

        sumo-mary.jpg

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


        • rhetorical chloroform

          Really? I don't know why, but this kind of blows my mind. Clearly I'm frequenting the wrong drinking holes these days.

          THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  7. zinger

    That dress cost like $1500 and the buttons don't even work ?? (I know she wouldn't have paid for it but still).

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • boombalatty

      I'm guessing the dress didn't fit across the chest, so she "fixed it" by deciding to go tits out. #brave

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  8. Like Did Bacall

    Interesting party. Table wrapped in a paper sack, woolly rugs on the chairs, wooden hand statue on table (for rings? What?), husbands wearing thin pajamas, woman of honor dressed in a "Clash of the Titans, 1981" costume for the extras, and drinks with a Slim Jim Extra-Spicy Beef Stick garnish.

    Those crazy kids! What'll they think up next!

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  9. Kate

    HIS NAME IS BAXTER (that is a dog's name).

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  10. 90s Jennifer Aniston

    Nothing creeps me out (and gives me the ragies) quite like someone hashtagging a fetus and or baby.
    giphy.gif

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • JESUS LOVES ME and my sponsored post

      AGREE. I have friends who make hashtags for their babies and I find it hilarious. YOUR BABY IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO REQUIRE ITS OWN HASHTAG.

      but seriously, I clicked through to that post and it is weirrrrrrd. What's with all the contest rules? Do bloggers have to do that for giveaways now? Why wouldn't she make a little link that said "click here for contest rules" as opposed to cluttering up her baby announcement with all that nonsense?

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • 1lazyeye

        I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Everyone I know who has recently had a child thinks that their child needs their own hashtag for instagram, twitter & Facebook. It's so bizarre.

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • justwhelmed

      Thank you! I think hashtagging kid names is absurd. You really want your kid's name searchable on Insta/Facebook/Twitter before he/she can walk?

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  11. Kerfeltoe

    Wait wait wait.
    This dude's name is Baxter Box?

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Ham Cannon

      I hope he drives a Boxster.

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  12. FOS

    I find it so creepy that he secretly videotaped his party guests.

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Stink

      Hey, I want to see replays of the reaction when the men unwrapped their framed sonograms. Hang it in the bedroom! Place it on the mantle! Display on your work desk! They got a special copy and it's framed so that sonogram will haunt them all until death.

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • What would you say...you DO here?

        This. Nobody wants your damn sonogram, you self-important prigs, least of all A GUY.

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


      • Caitlin, Supermom

        Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants your stupid framed sonogram picture.

        Also, I would not wear a necklace that said "Aunt SoandSo". Lame.

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


        • Peen Dough

          my niece is the most important person in the entire world to be, and since she was born i've worn an "e" around my neck for her.... but i would NEVER WEAR MY OWN NAME wut. i'm not carrie bradshaw.

          THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


  13. nastykat

    I have but one question: Why is there a wreath on her head?

    THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • Ctl

      Between that, the long dress and the antlers on the table, I'm getting a true detective season 1 vibe. Is there a centerpiece made of twigs?

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)


    • elizabeth

      It looked better on the dog.

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)




↑ Back to Top ↑