Internets The Golden Hammys

The 2016 GOMI Awards: Categories And Nominations Are Open

It’s that time once again, hams – pull out those notes you’ve been keeping all year and suggest this year’s categories and/or nominees for The Most Important Awards On The Internets: The GOMIBLOGs!

We’ll start off with these five categories.

Best Flounce

Biggest WTF

Best Shamecropping

Biggest Decline

Most Improved

And of course, the Lifetime Failchievement award. Now it’s up to you to suggest up to five additional categories which will be added to the GOMIBLOG Awards voting area. You can also nominate bloggers for the above categories, and for any suggested categories.

And if you’re wondering what happened last year, you can check out the results here. Happy nominating, hams!

  1. Victorian Sex Orgy

    Suggested category: Most Annoying Blog Baby or Blog Pregnancy!

    THIS! (61)  NOPE! (2)

    • The Disagreement Banana Exists For A Reason

      Most Fake Miscarriage

      THIS! (112)  NOPE! (8)

      • wenter dri skin tho

        Shiniest Toof

        THIS! (34)  NOPE! (3)

    • Curator

      Most Annoying Pregnancy?

      THIS! (8)  NOPE! (0)

  2. Delusions of Adequacy

    Suggested category: Biggest WTF Snap Chat

    THIS! (90)  NOPE! (1)

    • Boo. Clanking Chains. Spiderweb.

      Jenna wins, forever.

      THIS! (66)  NOPE! (2)

      • Dildo fascinator

        my favorite snaps being the OMGtopless massage room series! Tipsy Jenna overwhelmed with the forbidden naughtiness of getting a massage = priceless!

        THIS! (18)  NOPE! (0)

    • pashli

      Danielle from WeWoreWhat

      THIS! (10)  NOPE! (3)

    • Delusions of Adequacy

      Hey, Natalie Jean and her post coital snap with her legs in the air.

      THIS! (45)  NOPE! (2)

    • NightCheese

      Nooooooo! Don't let That Attention wh*re win!

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

  3. Cecilys Blogging for Basic Bitches

    Cecily's article on why she'll let her 9 year old wear a sexy Halloween costume is my WTF moment.

    And I'm going to nominate KERF for Biggest Decline due to her continual slide into laziness and navel gazing. She doesn't even try anymore. Her comment count has gone way down this year, too.

    THIS! (79)  NOPE! (1)

  4. Six Glasses of Wine Classy

    Biggest WTF: Baby Concentration Camp Romper.

    THIS! (58)  NOPE! (6)

  5. Literal troll with internet access

    Suggested category: Worst Plastic Surgery

    THIS! (29)  NOPE! (0)

    • Audrey Horne

      Galah Monster

      THIS! (26)  NOPE! (0)

    • omgtotesh8r

      PrissyMelissa, for sure!

      THIS! (16)  NOPE! (0)

      • Three dudes named Toby and a dog with a Phish bandana

        Yeah, but she didn't actually get that terrible plastic surgery in 2015, and Gala's boobs are WAY worse than Prissy's botox.

        THIS! (3)  NOPE! (1)

    • Jurassic Snark

      Garbage Darling.

      THIS! (9)  NOPE! (0)

  6. Victorian Sex Orgy

    Biggest WTF: Isla Girl on a Jet Ski (Pink Peonies)

    Best Flounce: Mama Laughlin's Cabogate

    THIS! (83)  NOPE! (0)

    • teamconrad

      I would nominate jetskigate in "worst blogger risking her kid's life for instagram likes"

      THIS! (39)  NOPE! (3)

    • sundaecake

      Can I add, Mama Laughlin flouncing at an international blogger conference?

      THIS! (14)  NOPE! (2)

    • Curator of my Children's Privacy

      Biggest WTF is a tie between Isla Girl on a jet ski, Isla Girl on a quad/ATV in a Baby Bjorn, head flopping everywhere, and Conrad vonDerp on the back of the bike. The latter wasn't the worst, but I still think it deserves a nomination.

      THIS! (13)  NOPE! (0)

      • Derp de dur

        Crop-topped, flip-flopped Jenna riding her bike on a sidewalk (illegally?), hauling both kids, unrestrained/unharnessed, in an incorrectly installed double child trailer. Then throwing the kids in the ocean after the inevitable occurred. Yay for salt water and sand to soothe the road rash!

        THIS! (49)  NOPE! (0)

        • Susan C

          Have we considered that Jenna is just mentally challenged, as in just plain stupid? I mean besides being a physcopath, unable to empathize with the pain or discomfort of others. She can't really understand the implications of what she's posting, right? That we are all able to draw accurate conclusions about her based on her own descriptions of her parenting abilities, or lack there of? I can't even read her blog anymore without becoming enraged.

          THIS! (2)  NOPE! (8)

          • Forever Clarifying

            I definitely think she's stupid, but it's a very scary kind of stupidity. Like a cold, dead behind the eyes, I enjoy causing pain to others kind of f**ked up.

            THIS! (10)  NOPE! (1)

          • Artistic Ladycoder Engineer of Bravery

            I vote for some sort of low IQ that isn't readily apparent when people meet her but as they get to know her, they go from "WTF??" to "WTH?!" to the uncomfortable "ohhhhh, thaaaat's niiice Jenna, real, real nice" as they snicker over her ridiculous outfit for the day.

            THIS! (2)  NOPE! (0)

      • 52 struggles

        Honorable mention to JenLovesKev for riding a scooter with her newborn in a wrap.

        THIS! (11)  NOPE! (1)

    • Grimey

      100% on board with baby on a jet ski. I still think about this/tell my friends about it because it straight up blows my mind. WTF forever. Bonus was the follow up "shut up guys!" sister post.

      THIS! (3)  NOPE! (0)

  7. TheCheeseStandsAlone

    Suggested Category: Biggest Shill-er aka Most likely to blog just for sponsorships and affiliate link bouncebacks.

    THIS! (75)  NOPE! (0)

    • Ap85

      Officially nominating Taza and Co.

      THIS! (48)  NOPE! (0)

      • Curator of my Children's Privacy

        Or Pink Peonies and Ivory Lane, who apparently change their skincare routine weekly going by their sponsored post.

        THIS! (10)  NOPE! (0)

        • YouGuise

          Also, The Dainty Squid solely for endorsing (?) WAL-MART for Christmas.

          THIS! (9)  NOPE! (0)

    • Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like Griftmas


      THIS! (13)  NOPE! (0)

      • King Tuttles

        Best headshots / meme material would go to Neely.

        THIS! (8)  NOPE! (1)

    • TheCheeseStandsAlone

      I would also nominate Emily Malone Daily Garnish

      THIS! (16)  NOPE! (0)

      • Mrs. Snarkleupagus

        Could also nominate DG for the most sponsored posts masquerading as regular content.

        THIS! (6)  NOPE! (0)

    • Human Selfie Stick

      Little Green Notebook

      THIS! (8)  NOPE! (1)

    • a quick three miles

      I agree only post for sponsors or 'not sponsored' affiliate posts- Emily Malone daily garnish

      THIS! (6)  NOPE! (0)

    • Fine Ham Abounds

      Gluten free girl

      THIS! (14)  NOPE! (0)

    • Victorian Sex Orgy

      What about Carrots N' Cake, who actually shilled on Christmas for Daisy Sour Cream?!

      THIS! (30)  NOPE! (1)

    • Delusion Tonic

      Bower Power, with half of her house renos for free.

      THIS! (11)  NOPE! (0)

    • 52 struggles

      They aren't the worst, but RamshackleGlam and WhatIWore seem to be in it for the goodies too.

      THIS! (4)  NOPE! (0)

    • ThankYouForMyOnion

      Complete Waste of make-up Neelykins, everything she does is sponsored but really crappy stuff

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

    • Sponsored By NatureBox

      Nominating Making It Lovely.

      Though it may be more accurate to collectively nominate every flailing DIY blog.

      THIS! (5)  NOPE! (0)

    • Guilia

      The Londoner for this! Queen of non disclosure!

      THIS! (1)  NOPE! (0)

      • SAHDerp

        The Daybook pretty much only posts for sponsors these days

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

  8. Benedick Cunterbitch

    Suggested Category: Poorest "Career" Choices

    THIS! (54)  NOPE! (4)

    • On the Autobahn to Bangtown

      With there be a sub-category just for Jenna's various "jobs"? :)

      THIS! (39)  NOPE! (0)

    • Dildo fascinator

      Cess for writing coach, sobriety coach

      THIS! (21)  NOPE! (0)

    • wut

      Dooce has to be nominated. Major fail at blog retirement and con speakers all in one year.

      THIS! (15)  NOPE! (0)

      • aclala

        Yeah, I was thinking her for flounce, but she can't even do that right.

        THIS! (4)  NOPE! (0)

    • Sir Derps-A-Lot

      Josh "CEO of his family" Davis.

      THIS! (24)  NOPE! (0)

    • Flouncing Psychopath Bleeder

      Sam Rader quitting his nursing job to vlog more. Except less cause then they immediately took a break.

      THIS! (24)  NOPE! (0)

    • wut

      bleubird and the whole two son thing.

      THIS! (4)  NOPE! (0)

    • Must Love Digs

      Doesn't The Feminist Breeder work for a medical marijuana firm or something now?

      Bad hire on their part ...

      THIS! (5)  NOPE! (0)

  9. Slanty Ankels

    The biggest WTF I've had in a long time is Shani Grimmond not knowing what a nazi flag/swastika represents. I know it's recent, and I probably can't remember the rest of the stuff this year that well, but damn if that isn't one of the most ignorant things I've heard in forever.

    THIS! (68)  NOPE! (3)

  10. WTF, more TWFery

    Most- martyering GOMIer (poster who diligently reads all of a blogger's oeuvre and updates us, so we can simply snark): Jennabeezer Scrooge

    Best Parody: My Three Angles, Instagram Husband

    THIS! (91)  NOPE! (1)

    • A Cad and a Bounder

      Oh yes please, Jennabeezer deserves big awards! So please make a category for Martyred GOMI person.

      THIS! (33)  NOPE! (0)

    • Jennabeezer Scrooge

      LOL!!! Thanks for your support.

      THIS! (52)  NOPE! (0)

    • Forever Clarifying

      High Holy Ham?

      THIS! (17)  NOPE! (1)

    • cartoon ostrich on LSD

      Another vote for a special award for Jennabeezer! ("Taking One for the Hams Award"?)

      Plus maybe some hazard pay for searing her eyeballs daily whilst screencapturing Jenna's nonsense?

      THIS! (32)  NOPE! (0)

      • Most Improved Alcohol Tolerance Trophy

        I like the phrase "Taking One for the Hams" better than Martyr. Jennabeezer is the reason why I don't need Snapchat to see Jenna's deep furrowed brow and poor choice of pink lipstick every day. We need to send Jennabeezer some Franzia for her dedication to watching Jenna's Snapchat every day and recapping us.

        THIS! (48)  NOPE! (0)

    • Fine Ham Abounds

      The Missus! I'm deep in the GFG thread and she's a trooper.

      THIS! (39)  NOPE! (0)

    • Harper

      Also for Best Parody, I nominate @gfmartyr on instagram for their wonderful Shauna send-up.

      THIS! (38)  NOPE! (2)

    • Ladycoder Tantrums

      Jennabeezer deserves mad props for suffering through those snapchats. Is there a prize for most long-suffering ham?

      THIS! (17)  NOPE! (0)

      • Forever Clarifying


        THIS! (1)  NOPE! (2)

        • Bedroom Sushi

          WTF did I just look at??

          THIS! (8)  NOPE! (0)

        • Purple21

          I can't decide whether Jenna looks like she's taken up ice or whether she's been committed to a sheltered care home near her parents' place. Either way that picture is a scary preview of how 2016 is going to roll for her.

          THIS! (2)  NOPE! (0)

        • Bills

          Yowza; so glad she requires and gets at least 8 hours of sleep at night plus naps. She needs to seriously consider putting down the wine and start drinking a lot of water.

          THIS! (2)  NOPE! (0)

    • Take me to the bedroom and be PRAGMATIC!

      Yes, another vote for Jennabeezer!

      THIS! (6)  NOPE! (0)

  11. Bitch Eating Ritz of Graham Crackers with Trams Fats

    Suggested Category: Biggest Adulting Fail

    THIS! (80)  NOPE! (0)

    • limblessa

      There would be FIERCE competition here :-)

      THIS! (26)  NOPE! (0)

    • limblessa

      There would be FIERCE competition in this category!

      THIS! (1)  NOPE! (4)

    • TheCheeseStandsAlone

      Clr Brdy for the win.

      THIS! (16)  NOPE! (1)

      • wut

        The doctor who ignores HIPAA when it's convenient has to be on there.

        THIS! (9)  NOPE! (0)

    • sibyl

      How could I pick between all of the xoJane writers?

      THIS! (24)  NOPE! (0)

      • Dildo fascinator

        Mandy for the win - see her 2-drink minimum, desperation wedding and begging for support via twitter. Take that, Emily and Jane!

        THIS! (12)  NOPE! (0)

        • sibyl

          I forgot her wedding had a 2-drink minimum. There's something especially sad about that considering she's a sober alcoholic

          THIS! (13)  NOPE! (0)

          • Must Love Digs

            What the hell?? Link???

            THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

            • rita

              Discussion starts here

              The whole thing was caught and released on periscope. She got married at a comedy club during her husband's set -- no family or friends seemed to be there.

              It's hard to win xoj's biggest loser title but it's Mandy's crown this year.

              THIS! (5)  NOPE! (0)

              • Benedick Cunterbitch

                Yeah. Emily cracked but at least she has a steady job.

                Unless you count aligning yourself with Cumia and fawning over your unfunny "comedian" husband a job.

                THIS! (1)  NOPE! (0)

    • King Tuttles

      Neely trying to get wedding pics being sued for millions.

      THIS! (36)  NOPE! (0)

      • wut

        Honestly if that's not WTF of the year, I'll be shocked. Bloggers putting their kids in danger for headpats has become commonplace - an entitled brat destroying a business because she's dumb and can't read a contract is a whole other level of evil.

        THIS! (18)  NOPE! (0)

      • Porny LaRue

        I lurked that briefly, then lost the trail- anything come of that defamation suit the photog filed?

        THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

    • YouGuise

      Elsie Larson for keeping her husband's testicles in a turquois tinted Mason jar under the sink and wanting to paint her front door in a shade of Barbie lipstick.

      THIS! (14)  NOPE! (1)

    • Wipe that face off your head, bitch


      THIS! (2)  NOPE! (0)

  12. what_is_written

    Biggest Decline is definitely KERF.
    Lifetime Failchievement: That Wife

    THIS! (68)  NOPE! (4)

    • Ramcat Hamcat

      I second both of these.

      THIS! (4)  NOPE! (2)

    • GodsMonroeInvestmentProperty

      The Lifetime Failchevement Award should just be renamed something like the Jenna Cole f**kable Ladycoder, Inc Award at this point.

      THIS! (118)  NOPE! (1)

    • Ladycoder Tantrums

      Seconding Jenna for all the fails.

      THIS! (18)  NOPE! (1)

      • A Cad and a Bounder

        I agree with previous posters, Jenna should no longer be eligible for Lifetime Failchievment, perhaps after this year. her summer of wtfery was so sublime that perhaps she can be in the running this year. But after that, just name the award after her and make her ineligible.

        Someone else deserves a chance.

        THIS! (48)  NOPE! (0)

        • Oh my CAT

          I agree! Jenna started to work toward her Lifetime Failchievement Award since January or February when she announced that, from now on, she's a ladycoder and would you please pay her 90k now? She hasn't stopped failing since. It's almost pandering on her part.

          THIS! (8)  NOPE! (0)

        • English Butcher Shop

          Surely Cecily's moment has arrived. She has truly failed.

          THIS! (5)  NOPE! (0)

  13. SoBrave.MuchFeels

    Biggest Decline: Messi
    Biggest WTF: Isla Parcell on the jet ski

    THIS! (39)  NOPE! (0)

    • TheCheeseStandsAlone

      Definitely second Messi as biggest decline!

      THIS! (6)  NOPE! (0)

    • Delusion Tonic

      Yes. Also nominating Messica Quirk for Biggest Decline.

      THIS! (6)  NOPE! (0)

    • Wipe that face off your head, bitch

      Agreed on both!

      THIS! (0)  NOPE! (0)

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