Monthly Archives: December 2009


Hey Vic, Scobie Wants To Hang

Robert Scoble, tech expert, wants to get you drunk so you will tell him things:

If I was a smart tech journalist I’d invite Vic Gundotra out for drinks tonight and get him to spill the beans on the Google phone. 🙂 13 minutes ago from web

Why do people think that pouring drinks down someone will result in all kinds of beans all over the table? For instance, I am currently drinking vodka and I would never just tell everyone that I just found some crazy ass hair growing on my shoulder for no reason. It’s not like drinking makes you tell people stuff you shouldn’t. A real tech journalist would get Vic to talk without drinks!

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go pluck my shoulder and drunk dial Vic.



Sarah Lacy's Husband As Charming As She Is

I don’t know or care about Geoffrey Ellis, but thanks to one of our beautiful, intelligent, and influential readers, I was sent his twitter to glance over. Apparently he takes pictures of shit in pawn shops and tries to sell it as art or something. He’s also the happy husband of Sarah Lacy.

The 9 of you reading are familiar with Sarah’s charm and tact. It seems her husband shares her talent for finding the best in every unfamiliar culture and tweeting about it; the two of them are apparently in Nashville with Paul Carr, and Mr. Lacy doesn’t seem that impressed:

Gaggle of Kentucky fans checking into hotel with a 30-pack of Bud Light. #classy #nashville 8:29 PM Dec 26th from web

Fat, beer swilling Kentucky girl has more base on her face than a 2-Live Crew song. Ok, different bass, but you get the picture. #nashville 8:35 PM Dec 26th from web

The closer we got to Nashville, the radio stations got worse, the cars got bigger and I think I got a little dumber… 10:39 PM Dec 26th from web

Oh oops lol! He totes didn’t mean it like that! Ya’ll are just too stupid to understand jokes:

Sorry Nashville, I was kidding when I said you made me dumber, but I wasn’t kidding about the big cars and not-good new country music… 11:14 PM Dec 26th from web

Whew! Cause, ya know, for a second I almost thought he was an elitist shitnose or something. Ah well, I’m sure since then he’s mellowed out and is no longer terrified by the beer swilling hayseeds he is forced to share air with. He’s probably out right now having a laid back, non-judgmental time at some local dive bar!

At Lonnie’s Western Room witnessing late night karaoke. Part awesome, part horrifying. 14 minutes ago from txt

Boy howdy I bet it’s torture listening to all those smelly hicks sing Kenny Rodgers, with Old Bocephus blaring on the juke during breaks. I’m sure he was expecting a real hillbilly karaoke night where a bunch of fat chicks with too much mascarah and too small tube tops get up to sing “Red Neck Woman”, and some skinny toothless trucker takes a swing at “Man I Feel Like A Woman” trying to be funny. Maybe he can take a picture of some half eaten hot wings and an empty beer bottle, call it “Glamour Of The South”, and make millions.



Scobie Will Not Be Responding To You Further

Robert Scoble, social media hooker for no reason, flounced at some twitter person for daring to post an unfavorable response to some story he did. He basically told poor Gina she was wrong, which of COURSE she was wrong. She’s a woman!

Thanks @smaknews for taking something I wrote and totally twisting it to serve your hatred. I won’t reply further but u are totally wrong. about 1 hour ago from Tweetie in reply to smaknews

That’s right, Gina. Scabies has nothing more to say to such obvious slash work. He is moving on and you will hear nothing else about this.

@smaknews first of all that quote isn’t about Lisa. If you were a more careful reader you would see that. about 1 hour ago from Tweetie in reply to smaknews

So…like…yeah. Eat a dick up, b***h! He is DONE with you. He has nothing to say to people who can’t even figure out what he’s trying to say.  Yeah, he’s DONE with you.

.@smaknews second my comment had NOTHING specific about women. I would have said same to @dannysullivan about 1 hour ago from Tweetie in reply to smaknews

So just move along, smaknews. He won’t be @’ing you anything further. Just get on down the road and forget about hearing from Scobalicious again.

@christinelu @smaknews @mona Thanks Christine. This was an unjustified attack, appreciate the support. 2 minutes ago from Tweetie in reply to christinelu

HAHAHA ho. He wins. You were wrizzong! Everyone agrees with him, the Scobester. He rules. He is a walking keyword! SUCK IT GINA!!! He is so done talking to you maybe probably as long as you don’t respond or he doesn’t think of anything else to say. Definitely done.



thatgirlallison Fears Shark Attack

Someone sent me this days ago and I debated posting it because I’m kind of tired of thatgirlallison right now. The more I thought about, though, the more it amused me.

She has a habit of informing us all of who’s following her on her tumblr, or posting screenshots of people liking her posts. I’m not sure what kind of thrill she gets out of letting us all know that people like her, but clearly it’s necessary for all of us to realize that important people read her blog or something.

This time our pal Web20Morons started following her tumblr and this obviously required a statement from allison:

Cue the Jaws music!

Oh, hell.  I could block them but what would be the point?  If you can’t beat ‘em, join them, right?  Well I’m not joining, but I’m not stopping them.  So… does that mean I’m enabling?…  Hell, same goes for GOMIBLOG.  (I don’t even know why I’m on there except for being a web-tard earlier in the year and defending Julia Allison on RBNS – wtf was I thinking?  Girl’s a certified trainwreck.)  But you guys are really good at writing snark, so… onwards!

We all know I’m not a journalist, nor a real writer, so I aside from being a cliched “blogger” (which lots of people my age are so that’s nothing special), I have no place in the “media” world.  I’ve made a few friends here and there (who actually work in media!) and every now-and-then get invited to parties, but that’s about it.  When I started this blog almost a year ago, I was hell-bent on writing for whomever would let me write.  Now?  Not so much.  I’m happy just having my Tumblr, my handful of readers, reading my friends blogs, and sometimes getting reblogged!  Am I a bit jealous of those who get paid to write?  Oh of course.  If someone offered me a job writing, I’d take it in a second.  But I’m not bitterly jealous or anything – they’ve all worked really hard for their success.  For sake, I was never even on my school newspaper; I don’t deserve to be paid to write.

I have no idea what any of that has to do with someone following your tumblr…but ooook. There’s a reason I don’t follow anyone with the gomi tumblr, and it’s because I don’t need announcements of this sort. Maybe I am missing the point of tumblr; isn’t just a big “look how popular I am” network anyway? Oh well. At least she admits she’s not a writer.



Sarah Lacy Approaching Her Goal

Sarah “Woodward” Lacy set herself a goal for 2009 that benefits all of us, and she’s omgthisclose to accomplishing it:

trying to get a bit of writing done before the big holiday dinner. i’m already 2k words behind my goal! eeeek. 4:06 PM Dec 24th from web

@AlexBlom it’s for my book, not techcrunch 🙁 i have to write 20k words before the end of the year to meet my personal goal 🙁 6:12 PM Dec 24th from web in reply to AlexBlom

2,000 words written. time to go shower for xmas dinner. 6:53 PM Dec 24th from web

alright. enough procrastinating. time to write 2k words of the book. about 19 hours ago from web

20,000 words from Sarah’s golden fingertips. It’s like every dream you ever had coming true. Oscar Wilde is sliding into his cheerleader outfit to encourage her onward; Shakespeare awaits breathlessly to see the finished product. Daisies bloom and kittens smile in anticipation of her 20,000 word book. Its completion will be the culmination of everything good, beautiful, and thought-provoking in the literary world.

Get on amazon and pre-order it now! This book will sell out in hours, don’t wait!

ps: Who cares?



Cary Randolph Slowly Turning Into Julia Allison

Cary Randolph, writer, is taking tips from Julia “I packed too much omg” Allison and tweeting her special travel experiences:

To the guy sobbing at the Delta check-in counter because he’s about to miss his flight: NUT UP, SON. #Christmas #LaGuardia 5:44 AM Dec 22nd from TweetDeck – My suitcase exploded. The detritus? RUNNING GEAR. 20 minutes ago from TwitPic

She’s starting to sound like her hero a little too much. I’m tired of people tweeting about their airport and luggage problems as if they are somehow unique to them.

And telling someone about to miss their flight to “nut up”? That guy may miss his flight, maybe his only trip home during the year to see his family. Or maybe he is trying to get home to his kids for Christmas. You can bet if Cary was about to miss her flight there would be all kinds of screaming and b***hing.

You know, you b***hes are not the only people trying to travel. There ARE other people in the airport trying to get somewhere. How about YOU nut up and stand in line without comment, like everyone else.



Kevin Rose Is Really Into Christmas

Kevin Rose really digs Christmas. OMG c wut I did thar??? Yeah ok. Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.

Anyway, ole Kevbos didn’t sound too excited about holiday stuff last week. He couldn’t wait to get done with parties and run to mama’s arms:

last day of holiday party commitments, excited for the post party detox and relaxing w/the family 11:42 AM Dec 18th from web

He has somehow gotten into the holiday spirit; yesterday he decided that Christmas music, the source of all evil for retail workers in December, is somehow totes awse.

i’m sorry, christmas music is just good stuff, a welcome break from the norm about 22 hours ago from Tweetie

A few righteous brilliant people must have told pretty boy to stow it with the holiday perkiness. A short while later his royal flounciness produced this ignorant response:

gettin a lot of “bahh humbug” @ replies, for that, bam, santa hat in photoshop: about 22 hours ago from Tweetie

Kevin, let me give you some hard earned and well tried advice. If you wind up looking like a dumbass in your attempt to outwit, outsnark, or outcute someone, then you are worse off than you were just letting them say what they needed to say about your music choices.

Also, that santa hat offends your Rebbe. Happy lolidays!