Monthly Archives: March 2010


Excitement Mounts as David Karp Finally Approaches Puberty

David Karp, creator of the greatest thing ever, EVER made for a computer even counting TCP/IP, is finally entertaining hopes of getting those long awaited face pubes!

I think this is the year I finally get decent facial hair coverage.

First the facial hair, then his company. I’m sure only one thing is allowed to be mature at a time.



Michael Arrington Finally Ready For A Soulmate

Michael Arrington, hater of snark and cash fan enjoyer, is in search of a living creature to humiliate:

does anybody have a goat? we need to borrow a goat for a few minutes. about 19 hours ago via web

we promise not to molest the goat or hurt it in any way. it just needs to do a cameo in a video. nothing more. about 19 hours ago via web

I’m serious about the goat. we need one. about 19 hours ago via web

I may be wrong about this…but I’m pretty sure that the kinds of nerds that follow Michael Arrington’s twitter stream are not living on a farm with access to goats. I guess I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish other than “We just want you to know we are trying to make a lol video with a goat!”

Really justifying  your salary, asshole.



Julia Allison's Vimeo Account Allegedly Hacked

Julia Allison, hater of publicity stunts, is implying your Vimeo accounts aren’t safe!

After a supposedly private video was shared on RBNS, Julia emailed moderators of the site accusing them of hacking into her Vimeo account to access the video:

Subject: I don’t know how

you got either of those videos, because BOTH were password protected until (apparently) tonight – and now they’re password protected again, but if I ever – EVER – hear about you hacking into my private videos again, I swear to god I will get a lawyer and sue you.

RBNS moderators deny the allegation, stating that such a charge is easily refutable by contacting Vimeo to find out how access to the videos was enabled.

It might be a good idea for Vimeo to look into their logs and see exactly what the situation is, since Julia’s claims basically imply that Vimeo is insecure. Better safe than donkey!



Caro's Future Is Just As Cliche As Yours

I love it when OMGBEARS tries to be witty on her formspring:

How do you envision your future?

There are flying cars and jet packs. I can tell you that much.

Wow, flying cars and jet packs. Wait, will we have robot house maids too? OH OH OH. Houses on the MOON, Bears???

Yeah ok, this was weaksauce post. But it just reminds me of my Grandpa sitting in his green naugahyde chair, yelling at my Mimi for a Schlitz and then looking at the grandkids to shout “FLYING CARS! I was promised a flying car. Where’s my flying car, I ask you!???”

So, thanks for the memory, Bears!



meaghano Got Where She Is Because She Is Talented, Ok?

MeaghanO, the ginger midget responsible for Pitchforkgate, wants you to know that women are not just objects who get jobs and stuff because of their looks!

She spent this morning posting crap about women in the workplace, and gender roles and blah blah boring shit women who their way into jobs post to throw everyone off.

Your faux SISTAHOOD and “well I never” posts aren’t fooling anyone, ginget. What is it you DO at tumblr, again?



David Karp, Reality Star

David Karp, CEO of WTF Are We Doing Ent., apparently thinks he is a lot more interesting than his hair would suggest.

I feel like I have a lot to offer reality TV.

Reps for Everyone Thinks They Should Be On Tv, Inc, would like to express their regrets. Apparently they already followed around the president of Tripod a few years ago. Thanks for your interest!



Julia Allison Leaving Internets Forever

Julia Allison, soon to be forgotten, is once again threatening to take an internet hiatus.

This post has been a long time coming, and I think it will surprise no one to hear that I’m taking a leave from lifecasting.  How long will I be gone?  Perhaps only a few weeks.  Maybe a few months.  And yes, there is the possibility (however implausible) that I’ll never lifecast again.  I love the solidity of closing the door to the past, of ending this life chapter with a definitive thud, all “Well, that’s THAT!”

Yeah it goes on and on, whatever. Hasn’t she gone ‘dark’ before and it lasted all of 2 days?  She’s just jumping on the having-an-epiphany-going-offline trend that happens every year at springtime.

Srsly, have you noticed this? Every year around the beginning of April all these tumblrs and bloggers go ‘I need to take a break and blah blah discover blah blah me me me blah blah I might be back blah thanks for reading blah blah better person’ or some variation of the NEVAR BLOGGING AGAIN mad libs.

Why can’t people just grasp that when the weather gets nice you start feeling antsy, or fidgety, or wanting a change, and it has nothing to do with some huge soul opening inner realisation? It’s just called spring, people! Calm down, have a glass of Arbor Mist, and stop with the flouncing.