Monthly Archives: April 2010


Jordan Reid Is Much More Cautious Since The Break In

Jordan Reidkow, recent burglary victim, has become much more guarded about telling people when she won’t be in the house, and what things might be laying around. For instance, today she posted about her long trip to L.A., accompanied by her husband:

So a little drama already this morning: we pull up to the airport in our taxi around 5AM, and Kendrick pauses thoughtfully before calmly announcing that he has decided to fly across the country with no photo identification. He has a temporary driver’s license (having lost his real one)…that should be fine, right?

Jordan is faithfully following the recommendations set forth in this post: she is not letting people know that her husband left his identification in their now empty-for-a-weekend apartment. We are glad to see she learned her lesson – it’s just not a good idea to tell people that you will be 3000 miles away for days at a time with only a dogsitter stopping by. Safety first!



Mary Rambin Finally Commits

Mary Rambin, commitmentphobe and possessor of beach hair, has finally sucked it up and signed a lease.

Done deal. I’m officially living in Houston for a year.

No word on what she will be doing in Houston for a year, but we hope she’ll be swanning about the country clubs looking for a rich oil baron husband. I really want a big Texas Mary wedding!



Julia Allison Is Biology's Latest Victim

Julia Allison, one of the few women pioneers in the tech industry  (along with trailblazers Meaghano and Sarah Lacy), is succumbing to the genetic truth of womanhood: the raging desire to get married and shit out kids.

In the middle of a long rambling post about…well nothing really, Julia confirms what scientists and the tech industry have always known. Eventually, all ladies really want is a man:

And of course, at the same time, I’m battling biological forces, forces that kicked in unexpectedly at the end of last summer, forces that made my relationships feel, for the first time in my life, more important than my career.  Forces that made me want to preference cuddling with my boyfriend (or crying about my lack thereof) above “crushing it” online or on air or in print.  You better believe that wasn’t the case in the five years prior.

Yet another victim of the inferior genetics and biology of womanhood. This is why we can not allow women to learn code. It just leads to confusion about their true roles in life! Tumblr would be wise to discourage women bloggers as well. Every post you make means you are not in the kitchen or on your back where you belong.

Now, put down that O’Reilly book and find a man to make sandwiches for!



Sarah Lacy Missing

Sarah Lacy, tolerance activist and famous author of some stuff nobody read, has gone MIA from the internet.

According to her twitter she has not bothered to update us on her latest illness or bad travel experience since April 12. Her blog thing hasn’t had a post since April 7th.

Could it be true? Has she finally left our internets??? Or did Paul Carr finally snap and chain her in the boiler room of his hotel? It is a mystery.

UPDATE: Roughly two hours after we posted this, Sarah updated her twitter:

i haven’t opened twitter in like a month. was in rio. now snowed under with work 🙁 how is everyone? about 4 hours ago via web

Coincidence, I’m sure.



Meaghano Needs To Get Over Herself

Meaghan O’Connell, “Director of Outreach” whatever the that means, joins Julia Allison as one of the women showing men that women are a force in the tech industry!

I just have one question. Who are these deluded girls who think the likes of Julia or Meaghan are somehow even IN tech? Ginger Midget up there is basically a glorified PR person/wannabe writer. Wooooooooboy really sockin to the misogynistic view that women can’t code or admin! Really revolutionizing the tech industry’s inequality to women programmers and sysadmins. Thank GOD for you, girl! Can tumblr please hire another woman already so this poundcake will get the over herself?




David Karp Wants To Inseminate Rachel

David Karp, founder of blogging for tards, thinks he should procreate.

I still can’t get enough of this kid. I need to have some babies. Or a cool 4 year old friend.

I really hope he sprogs up ole stringbean – because if there is one thing Brooklyn needs, it’s more hipster babies!



I Don't Think You're Ready For Jake's Jelly

So I was sitting around naked today cutting flowers, and I wondered “Gee what’s JaLo up to?” Turns out he was up to the same thing, apparently.

Oh and I guess he’s going to be making more videos. That sound you hear is Jacy clearing both her calendar and her desk.

Welcoooome back, man.