Monthly Archives: January 2011


tumblr Swears They Are Fixing Stuff, Gawd People

It looks like Friday, no doubt before another all weekend workathon for the tumblr crew, this hilarious attempt to calm the pitchfork wielding villagers was posted into Staff:

Hi, everyone. I wanted to run through a few of the things our engineers have been working on behind the scenes.

Our #1 priority has been bringing your blogs back to 100% uptime. We project the graph below on our wall, showing us exactly how many error messages we are serving instead of real pages.

We live and die by this chart, and we’ve been pulling nights and weekends working to remove the bottlenecks that have made “over capacity” errors routine. The list of systems we’ve tackled includes everything from networking equipment to database queries to the deep dark insides of the Linux kernel. (If working on these kinds of challenge gets your pulse up, we want to hear from you.)

As we break through our past bottlenecks, we are simultaneously faced with growth like we’ve never seen before. Our challenge is not only to support the current audience of 55 million, but to getahead of more than 250,000,000 new pageviews each week.

Still, we’ve made incredible progress in improving our infrastructure. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we expect these coming weeks to be much smoother than the past few rocky months. We’re incredibly confident in our ability to scale to serve all of the visitors to your awesome blogs.

A couple specific issues I want to cover:

• The Queue feature has been disabled more often than not over the last two weeks. We hit an incredibly difficult problem with the way the Queue processes handle their publishing step that forced us to unwind and rewrite a big chunk of our publishing routine. The Queues have been completely restored for the last couple days and we don’t foresee any more issues.

• This morning we suffered an outage for nearly an hour starting at about 7am EST. The proxy server that handles the vast majority of incoming requests failed, and its automatic backup also failed because of an unrelated networking issue. It took us longer than hoped to correct the multiple causes, but we’ve put systems into place to make sure that even another double failure won’t cause an outage like this in the future.

If you ever run into issues, please don’t hesitate to contact support. And you can check known issues via our Twitter feed orHelp page.

Thank you for your patience and support through all of this. To make up for it, we have some absolutely epic product updates around the corner.

Coming soon, awesome stuff! Haven’t they been promising great stuff, next year, next month, soon, for the past 3 years? And hey, don’t forget to contact them when they go down so they can either a) ignore it or b) tell you to take your blogging elsewhere because they are tired of user negativity.

And I don’t know me nothing bout no computery thangs, but I think if the infrastructure holding your entire “business” together requires 24/7 babysitting and constant bondo and band-aids then maybe you need to just rip it up and start over. Especially if you are looking at getting your user base up to everypersonintheworld,000,000.

Anyway, they haven’t gone down in a whole 48 hours, so maybe they ARE making progress. Go team!



Meghan McCain Is More Than Just A Body, So Please Stop Talking About Her Body, Because She Loves Her Body

Megatits McCain, best selling author and political mind of the decade, is finally once again for the 90th time addressing you body haters:

“Pundits” going on Bill O’Reilly commenting on my body and tattoos are threatened by who and what I represent in politics. less than a minute ago via web

Never in the history of politics or blondes with big tits has anyone sounded so self-important and b***hy. Hey Gretchen Weiner, hate to break it to you but nobody is threatened by you unless they are standing in the path between you and a case of Bud Light, mkay? Seriously how many times is she going to beat this horse???

Get over yourself.



Today In Mental Images You Will Never Forgive Me For: Poundcake’s Boobs

Meaghan O’Connel, editrix of the sex story book Coming & Crying, somehow keeps being allowed to write. Apparently that new media lady website The Hairpin thinks Poundcake’s  “please like me and think I’m cool” ramblings makes for awesome content. Here’s some special highlights from Poundcake’s incoherent recollections of flashing her boobs:

On to the TL;DR…



Jessica Quirk Is Too Busy To Come Up With Original Post Titles

Jessica Quirk, full time blogger for 25 hours a week, works really really hard, yo. She has to make sure people aren’t linking to her or reblogging her without telling her, because she doesn’t like her content used without getting compensated. Which is why I’m a little surprised to see Messica’s January 12th post:

looks suspiciously like Cupcakes and Cashmere’s January 10th post:

I get that she’s super busy with work and doesn’t have time to read EVERY BLOG EVER, but come on, if this doesn’t make the other fashion bloggers give her a side-eye-good-bye then I just don’t understand the internet at all.



Rich Tong Is Entitled To What Rich Tong Asks For

Rich Tong, tumblr’s latest pointless employee, is busy busy busy begging for tickets vetting all the primo invites he is getting for shows. Now he is going be busy clippers with a whole lot of ass kisser flower bribes thank yous. And what does someone who is internet important do when they need something? Hint for a sponsorship, natch!

Aw. Well, maybe a little less time preening in front of your internet reflection and more time building actual relationships with potential sponsors before you demand free stuff, Richie.

Yeah, what am I saying. In internetsland all you have to do is say “I want free shit” and people just throw it at you. So hey Nicole Miller, enjoy your thank you flowers that Rich Tong begged a discount for.



Meaghan O’Connell Continues Her Professional Attitude

Poundcake, professional navel gazer, might be at a new company – but that’s not keeping her from maintaining her reputation for mature and totally profesh behavior!

On one hand I’m late for work, on the other hand i took approximately 30 crappy photos of the snow falling. AM Jan 25th via Twitter for iPhone

Yes tumblr, this is the type of employees you train and send out into the job market. I hope you’re proud of yourself for your contribution.

And Meaghan, grow the frock up. ‘Teehee I wuz playin grab ass with my iphone guess I is late for works’ is not cute, it’s not endearing, it doesn’t make you a bittersweet reminder to us all to slow down and enjoy the pretty frozen water falling from the sky. It makes you an unprofessional, idiotic asshole. Get a grip.



Julia Allison Takes Nothing From Her Parents Except Things That Make Her An Entitled WHAT WAIT

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah “small 10k gift ok….that’s all? She is paying 600 a month for a space worth 2200! TOPS

Look Julia’s nice in person. She is. At first. Then she bleeds you. Been there, done that. Job op in CHI? Sure right. Ok I mayve been drinkin dont post my email ok. It’s CLEAAAAR WHO WER ARE.

Not lie we want her in the club and telling you now as real estate guys, Julia is a put up with her person. She ruins a night for us.

You can post this but not our names ok. G would KNOW K.


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