Alina Is A Friend Of Jews

Alina Gonzalez, does not care about your opinion, spent hours yesterday spewing her opinions about every race on the planet. Basically she likes everyone except white women, and thinks the Jewish people have always spoken to her soul.


Oh, did you think that was it? Because A-Goz went on for another 10 breathtaking watermelon text hours, working out her mommy issues in a spectacular, circular, racist stereotype-filled fashion. She begins by telling us that white women suck in bed.

And then she tells us white women we “need to be taught some charactaristics of people of color”. See, we white ladies have no culture of being proud of what we work for and are all full of “resentment and creepy bitterness”…but wait! She is only talking about white AMERICANS. Irish and English peeps, ya cool! Pale yet spicy, like potatoes covered in Tapatio. Which makes me wonder if she is confused about what the ‘Anglo’ portion of WASP means, but ok. Thank goodness she cleared that up, otherwise all those skin color stereotypes would have been offensive.

At about hour 7 she finally gets to the point in her rant that every therapist recognizes as the “sigh, finally, I saw this shit 30 minutes into their first session” moment.

Yep, A-Goz hates white women because her mom was white and apparently didn’t constantly feed Alina’s fragile Spicy Latina ego through her entire childhood like her Cuban Daddy did. So evidently based solely on her experience with her mean mommy, she concludes that obviously the only awesome women are from Latin cultures.

Lest anyone forget, Alina is one of those amazing CARNAL women.

As for you pathetic white women Alina has some advice on how you can be more like the amazing Alina, although you obviously never will be like her because you have too much white dna in you and are doomed to hating sex and gold jewelry.

  1. jobless ground turkey blogger

    I’m the same age as Alina and also have a Cuban father and white mother and I have to admit I am jealous of her “passion” for Cubans/Cuban culture because let me tell you, my Cuban relatives are kind of assholes. I do love gold jewelry, though, does that count? #SPICY

  2. Grumblemama

    I am FLABBERGASTED by the fact that this woman spews all of this insanity and somehow still has a job in which she is publicly promoting the brand on the same platform.

  3. Candace Started the Fire

    Insert all of the “Shhhhh” gifs here. Girl is not well. Also.. I wonder how long she would last if she actually tried living in Cuba. For all her talk she certainly enjoys the trappings of WASP culture.

  4. fugmoshoes

    b**** is crazy. The end.

  5. red-headed stepchild

    At first glance, I legit thought the headline read Alina is a friend of Jaws… it’s my favorite movie so I was hoping to have found a sister in shark loving carnage… so disappointed.

  6. bobohobo

    Whoa. Serious mania

  7. Yesly Gathering to Celebrate Warball

    Why is this chick so obsessed with Jewish people/stereotypes?

  8. Glinda the Good

    How does she still have a job with Anine Bing, white waspy fashion lady?

    I just do not understand.

    • Alice

      Anine’s whiteladyness is fine because she’s got microscopic amounts of dna from Brazil and grew up in Europe where, according to Alina, it’s ok to be white. Which is why miss #exactly made super sure to repeatedly say she is ONLY talking about white AMERICAN women. So, to be clear, not her boss, who might otherwise fit every other white lady stereotype Alina flung around.

  9. crispenclean

    This girl’s powers of insight are truly remarkable. I mean, it’s like she really knows me.
    Yesterday I was working in the fields with my steady calves—those are my legs, obvi, not the, you know, baby cows. I don’t have any of them. My field work consists of planting shit and then digging it up and harvesting it or whatever the crap you do in fields. In my quiet thoroughbred way, I wondered to myself if it was really the most practical thing to be in the fields in my white cotton undergarments. Like, it’s getting cold, you know? Maybe I should’ve put on some white lady fleece from Land’s End.

    Also, there wasn’t even any kind of food down there in the dirt I could dig up anymore. What the hell. It’s probably because I hate food so much and forgot to plant some. Anyway, I said to the kids they should say their prayers and be mindful of excess. Also, they should hate touch and warmth and love and food and sex and celebration. And gold chains. And above all, naps. Then I told them to go on inside and combust internally.

  10. Purple21

    In summary: when Alina goes to a party, she aligns herself with her favorite human beings by sitting with the Jews, so she can enjoy their “non senitive” direct talking funniness and their interest in all things… not like those WASPS in the corner who she can’t stand because they remind her of her mother who always encouraged her to achieve rather than just be her brilliant self.
    And then at the end of the night, she goes off with a hot sassy Italian/ Latin/ Spaniard woman because those are the people who understand passion, desire and lust.
    Those Boston women in their white cotton underpants must be relieved

  11. Didn't Respect The Gun

    None of this changes the fact that Alina Gonzalez used the words “sub-human” and “vermin” to describe her former, Jewish boss.

  12. starbucks and plagiarism

    Yet she’s obsessed with “vintage” shirts and stark white clothing depicting the very American culture she hates so much. Last time I checked, there was a little more color in Latina culture.

  13. Cullenisafox

    f**k. I’m a white Australian woman. My convict-ass calves are not steady.



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