Internets Twitter WTF

Anonymous Post Claims To Tell The “True And Real” Behind “Adorable” Twitter Romance

Zoe and her new husband Rob began tweeting constant updates about their relationship about two months after their first date. Why wait two months? Well according to a pretty wild wordpress post, it’s because he had to get a divorce from the wife he was allegedly stepping out on.

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The fairly boring “twitter romance” tried to go viral last week, even making it onto Mashable. TLDR a couple met when Rob sold Zoe the last iPhone at some Apple store, and then they went out for 1am tacos or something. Then they dated for a couple of months and Zoe began tweeting nonstop updates about how great he is, how thoughtful he is, how in love they are.

Apparently someone doesn’t find their romance very inspiring or beautiful, because they put up a detailed post full of accusations alleging this Rob character is basically a sack of crap.

In July of that same year, a young wife begged her husband to stay…For the first week that this other adorable couple were dating, he brought [his wife] blueberries and a smoothie every single night.

The post goes on to talk about how, soon after they were married, Blonde Wife Number 1 was “diagnosed with a tumor in her brain, causing a hormone surge that made her gain weight and feel extremely fatigued”, and was placed on medication to shrink the tumor. The medication caused migraines but allegedly Hubby Rob was “frustrated by the inconvenience of these migraines”. You know, the migraines caused by medication that would shrink a tumor in his wife’s brain. Basically, according to the author of the post, R-Dawg wasn’t having any of it and was already peacing off from his unhealthy, weight-gaining burden of a wife.

Soon after…he tells friends that he never would have married her as she is now.

Finally around the time he meets his twitter romance he apparently decided he was dunzo with inconvenient fat sick Blonde Wife Number 1.

“You’re needy,” he tells her, and “you have physically and emotionally abused me,” he says. All while defending and excusing himself for hitting her during their past fights over the last couple years…Then, mid-July of 2016, he drives away to proceed with the divorce to which his abandoned, stunned wife has powerlessly agreed. But before he goes, he empties the bank account of all their joint earnings. He and his family begin pressuring his wife to sign the papers even before the papers are ready. And before the wife has even had a reasonable opportunity to contact or obtain an available lawyer, they’re putting short deadlines on her to do so–as well as to attend to every other “matter of business” they demand, or else receive no money to live on, or else have her car reported as stolen, or else, or else.

I mean…I don’t really have a snarky lead out for that. The post continues, becoming more and more uncomfortable to read. Rob allegedly did what most gaslighting jerks do – covered his ass by telling everyone the other person was crazy.

He was doing the right thing though. His wife was “toxic,” “depressed like his real mom,” “bipolar,” “crazy,” and “using all his money.”…But still, this “right thing” that he was doing, had to stay a secret–until November 16th, that is…On November 3, 2016, the final draft of the divorce papers was filed, and the papers were finalized on November 15, 2016…And at 8:34AM, on November 16, 2016, an adorable post that would go viral was created…

And now Rob is married to Zoe, aka Blonde Wife Number 2, who will hopefully know her place and refrain from becoming ill or fat so they can live happily ever after.