Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Barefoot Blonde Finally Goes Into Labor

The seemingly endless pregnancy of Amber Fillerup, of the ‘shirtgate’ episode, is finally coming to an end. The human Barbie entered the hospital last night and quickly provided a sexy gram photo to alert her fans of the coming event. The photo already has nearly 70,000 likes.

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Predictions on the name selection have already begun with choices swinging between “some hipster/old timey name” or something omgFrawnchy sounding.

  1. Purple21

    Nothing says sexy like that long leggy look posed over a Kylie bed pad.

    • I’m so happy someone else noticed that. All I kept thinking was “that’s where you’re going to poop…in public…with people watching.” That pretty styled hair? That’s going to be a tangled, sweaty mess. The fake tan? Water breaking and afterbirth splosh will run your inner thighs. And I’d take that ring off before the IV starts turning your fingers into cocktail sausages.

      Ah, the miracle of birth.

      • Smile your soft smile NOT a fake one

        “That’s where you’re going to poop” **applause!**
        And may I add, that’s where your husband is going to see (SMELL) you poop

    • Purple21

      Good to see that David and Amber took my comment as a compliment and didn’t Nope me – maybe they thought the bed pad look WAS sexy.

    • Suethenapkin

      IKR? Every time I come past the front page I see: careful manicure – check, careful knee pop – check, fake tan – check, artful lock of carefully dyed hair – check, absorbent pad for absorbing the ungodly quantity and variety of body fluids which are about to appear – cue uproarous laughter.

      Reminds me of Art of baby making and her post natal white dress and baby with facial birthmark.

    • JUBballs

      Is sexy what she was going for?

  2. Bravest Little Girl In The World

    Baby is here, just saw her snap chat. No details it just said “nap time”

    • Bravest Little Girl In The World

      Amber/David stop nope-ing everything and get back to your baby

  3. fuckyouismyname

    the baby is here! Almost like the second coming of Christ…but mormon? Idk i get my religions confused. Either way, congrats!

    • Formal Shorts


      A woman had a baby! Look for a star in the East, cats!

      • Magically delicious

        This gif! It’s oddly mesmerizing AND creepy. Amen

  4. FuckingZorro

    WTF? This picture…

  5. Bills

    I have no idea who this woman is but will check to see if there is a new star rising in the east tonight.

  6. Strangled by a Blanket Scarf

    LOVE the strategic placement of the pic description on Amber’s “sexy in labour” photo!!! I still say her name will be Alice (or some form of).

  7. superhero birth goddess

    Oh, so this photo opportunity is the reason she had to self-tan during her pregnancy! Hopefully all those chemicals didn’t absorb into the little Barefoot Princess’ brain.

  8. Fancy Eleganza

    Is her name really Amber Fillerup?

    • puppymuffins

      lol yes

      • TrashFace

        I’ve been cackling to myself

      • Spare me the details

        That’s hilarious! I would have kept my maiden name.

        • Type A(ffiliate links)

          It is her maiden name. Her name now is Amber Fillerup Clark.

          • Spare me the details

            Omg! Fillerup Clark. Too many jokes there.

            • Obviously Staged Fuckery

              This one immediately comes to mind

            • Israeli Hand Fart Maestro


              /seriously, my husband’s name is Clark
              //I read the “Fillerup Clark” to him and he cried laughing

    • smauge

      I know, right? I just kept thinking “That can’t be a name”. Really, it doesn’t matter what the baby’s name is, because nothing can upstage that surname.

    • Wheaty Shackles

      I am continually baffled and bewildered that she just goes by this name and everyone acts like there’s nothing funny about it.

  9. Too busy for books

    All I can focus on is that nasty looking thumb. It looks like she just pulled it out of a butt. #selftannergoalz

  10. Wait...What?

    When did they start letting you wear nail polish? I was told to come with no makeup or nail polish. Just in case I had to have an c-section.

    • Spackled toddler sock monkey

      And your user name is so appropriate as a headline for this comment.

    • Hyperbolic Coma

      When did they start letting you wear fug nailpolish? #pepto

    • Cereal Noper

      Why on earth would nail polish affect a C-section? Or makeup for that matter?

      • Diet Dr Pepper for Breakfast

        As far as fingernail polish is concerned, keeping an eye on nail beds is a quick and easy way to monitor blood oxygen levels, makeup I think is the same, so they can monitor your color during surgery.

        • Vainglorious Poop Weasel

          The old way of tracking, maybe. I asked my OB about wearing nail polish during labor and she gave me a definite WTF look, and then reminded me that I would be hooked up to an oxygen monitor during labor and it was way more accurate and responsive than looking at someone’s nail beds.

          I managed to make it through an emergency C with both nails and makeup intact, without it affecting the outcome even slightly. The miracles of modern medicine.

          • The Ballad of Roast Beefy

            I wonder if it depends on the hospital/type of surgery/anesthesiologist? I had surgery a few months ago and was told no nail polish.

          • Diet Dr Pepper for Breakfast

            For scheduled surgical procedures, it’s still standard advice – no makeup and no nail polish. I had a scheduled c-section a year ago and that was in my pre-op instructions. Several studies have shown that Pulse Oximeter readings are also affected by nail polish so to be safe where it’s possible, it’s is recommended that nail polish be removed.

            • Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!

              It really depends. Someone I knew had a scheduled c-section (she had an emergency c-section the first time and didn’t want to try a VBAC) and her OB suggested wearing make up so she looked good for the first pictures (which she then did).

              • activate my almonds

                In my days as a theatre nurse, we’d have these big ass bottles of nail polish remover for mums to be. Most just forgot to take it off, but BB just took vainglorious to a whole new level of what-the-f**kery. Or just f**kery.

              • Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!

                Just to clarify, I think it was really stupid for her to bother putting on make up (I only wear make up about 3 times a year anyway), I just meant that hospital policies vary.

            • Fancy Eleganza

              I am old and very fat. Back when I had my C-section they told me not to wear colored nail polish, so they could see whether my nail beds had turned blue, signifying that I was either oxygen depleted or a witch.

            • newfiegirl

              Haven’t had a c-section but I had my gallbladder out a year and a half ago and I was told no jewelry and no nail polish.

  11. epic thigh gap

    ‘waiting to meet our baby girl’- …so is she in labor with contractions 4 minutes apart or less- how in the WORLD can she just be stylishly draped on that bed? It has been a while- but OUCH. Photos were the last thing on my mind

    • Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!

      I’d guess she was getting induced and wasn’t have contractions yet, or potentially already had an epidural. When I got induced there was an hour or so before contractions actually started, and after I got my epidural with both of my kids I felt lovely (took naps both times since it was the middle of the night by then). Though I wasn’t taking sexy photos either time, obviously.

      • Extremely Large Size Medium

        I’m always so curious about the story behind the nopes. Did someone read your comment and think, “How dare you nap during labor”?

        • Purple21

          More likely someone came here to check that we were gushing about the new Barefoot Baby and got offended that we were making light of the miracle.
          Sorry Amber!

    • Denim Skirt Money

      Depends on your labor. My second was a screaming scream fest and I looked like a disaster. My third was so painless in comparison that my husband and I were sitting around like, now what do we do?

  12. Urethra Franklin


  13. PricklyPete

    I kind of can’t wait for her world to be turned upside down by a screaming newborn. It ain’t about you no more, girlie.

    • selfie abuse

      She already has one, this is number 2. Can’t get over the sexy birthing pic, christ she is sad.

      • x-designer

        I don’t follow her, but I went to her instagram feed… who takes all those pictures of her? Talk about selfie obsessed.

    • NOPE

      More like “I’m so sad this poor newborn blog fodder’s life will be turned upside down because narcissistic blogger mommy.”

      Things I have learned from GOMI:
      Lifegoalz never ever change for these pretentious b****es. Nay, not even for motherhood. They figure out how to be a non-parent parent in the few spare moments between selfies, tweets, grams, etc. I mean this chick is way to busy to wash the bronzer off her anus-thumb. See, it’s already started!