Lifestyle Blogging Vlogging

Barefoot Blonde Has Like, A Lump, But Like, She’s Getting It Checked, And Like

Amber Clark, the blogger famous for her ratty blonde hair and towering intellect, like, found a lump in her breast. She made the announcement via snapchat through the licking dog filter. She explained that it’s like, a huge lump in like, her breast, but it’s like, been there for months so like, she just now went and had it checked out but like, they think it’s benign. At this point her husband David pops in to let snapchat know he told Amber they could just cut it out there at home because like, their copay is like, way high.


The hilarious husband.

Amber rambled on through a few more snaps about how she thought it was just a nursing duct issue even though the lump like, changed the shape of her breast. But like, they said it’s probably nothing so like, sorry for getting you all upset!



Let’s thank Amber for reminding her followers that it’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and that no matter how young you are you should always bring up changes to your body with your GP as soon as possible. Oh wait, she didn’t do any of that? Well what the f*** was the point then???


  1. notfunnyhaha

    So is she going to admit one of her implants burst or something?

  2. notfunnyhaha

    And also? They make decent money and have two young kids. Why isn’t insurance with a better deductible a priority? Oh right. Travels and clothes and crap.

    • Jan74

      Bleach isn’t cheap.

    • Strangled by a Blanket Scarf

      Don’t forget the hair extensions!

      • sadiesue

        Spends thousands of dollars on mother daughter matching outfits but can’t bother to spend on health care #priorities. #familygoals

  3. Slinky

    Mean, but I think she’s prettier with the snapchat dog nose than her actual nose.

  4. Strangled by a Blanket Scarf

    Her lip fillers are so obvious in those snapchat pics.

  5. But I Am Le Tired

    You know what’s worse than this election? The fact that a “public figure” announced a relatively serious medical issue via a SnapChat dog filter. This is the world we inhabit

  6. Ashy_Cankles


    Ugh. Amber.

  7. Purple21

    The scary thing about social media is that you have no sense of proportion about people’s health – is she being brave? Is she faking it? Is she making a big deal out of a minor problem, or a minor deal out of a major problem? Should I roll my eyes or send positive thoughts?

    Maybe just ignore social media diseases and concentrate on the health of my friends in the real world.

  8. DesperateLiving

    weird she looks better with the dog face

  9. Boofrickinghoo

    She gives the word idiot new meaning.

  10. Blimey

    I hope she gets a full, conclusive all-clear soon. It’s wonderful we have these tests but waiting for results is always awful.

  11. Severus Snark

    I don’t really get the point of adding navel-gazing to every outgoing message. (Looking at you too, Rachie.)

    Coo at yourself for a while–hours if you want–film your concerns about your health, then, go right back to making duck lips. It just seems like such an easy thing to avoid, especially for someone who snaps all the time and knows damned well what she looks like with fake ears and eyes.

  12. Meg

    Wut? I just…too many thoughts that I can’t articulate. I really, really, really hope it’s nothing. But exactly one year ago I was her (the breast lump part, not the the crazy self-obsessed blog/insta etc. etc.). I was nursing my baby, found a lump, thought for sure it was a clogged duct, young, zero family history for breast cancer, no other risk factors…and it was stage III cancer. It’s been one crazy tough year.

    I give the most side-eye to douchey David. They have money. You never, ever get to act like your spouse isn’t worth the co-pay.

    JFC. WTF. I really hope she’s okay and ditches her shmucky husband. Between this and the Freckled Fox’s innapropriate funeral pictures I think my brain is going to explode.

    • Strangled by a Blanket Scarf

      BBest wishes for a speedy recovery Meg 🙂

    • Future Doctor Couture

      Me too. Diagnosed this June at 31 with no family history. Although my husband and I were just about to start trying for a baby. I have shared my experience on social media but the thought didn’t occur to me to go straight to snapchat after finding a lump

    • Future Doctor Couture

      My phone wouldn’t let me finish my comment earlier, but I also wanted to say I hope you’re doing as well as can be, Meg.

  13. birthing like a pilgrim

    I genuinely hope she’s okay. I wouldn’t wish that anxiety on anyone, and it sounds like her husband is absolutely worthless so I doubt she’s getting much support there.

    Also, I really don’t think this is the time to joke about someone’s implants allegedly bursting.

    • purple daisy

      But maybe it is an implant issue. I have no doubt this moron got a special two for one deal on implants by some quack doctor. She’d rather spend her money on matching mom/daughter clothes to fill her self absorbed need to display herself and her family everywhere.