Healthy Living Blogging

OK, OK: The KERF Video That Has You All In Such An Uproar

Look, I don’t give a crap about Kath Younger. I seriously find her boring and not even worth commentary about 99% of the time. But since I received 17 emails demanding I post about this video, here it is: “How To Not Fold Laundry”. I’m not sure why this video has everyone’s panties in such a wad, honestly. I mean, I don’t fold my underwear or sleep stuff either, so I guess you should run me off the internet now.

What I do think is worthy of commentary is the fact that for someone who supposedly works out so much, girl sure is huffing and puffing just putting away laundry. Christ, I have to haul my laundry cart 1/4 mile away, wash it, fold it, walk it home and then drag it up 4 flights of stairs and I don’t sound like a bull staring at a red sheet at the end. Does she have a cold or something?

Anyway, here it is, so knock yourselves out in the comments.


Healthy Living Blogging

KERF’s Hard Earned Money Not Going To Waste

Kath Younger™®©, person of no interest, spends her days working out, photographing oatmeal, and sending cease and desist letters while her husband works at their bakery. Yet she somehow managed to find time in her hectic schedule to spend the morning deciding how to spend all that money she makes on her super successful blog:

I spent the morning researching lights for our dining room. We can’t decide between safe, classic, neutral or modern, funky, bold. What we do know is we would like a 16-24” drum shade pendant.

You can’t decide what kind of LAMP SHADE you want? Oh honey, that’s the kind of problem you WANT to have. Apparently she’s “leaning towards” this $400 model from Room and Board, but her other, more economical choices include a $258 green thing, and some $150 grey thing from West Elm.

Thankfully she and her husband are soon taking a break – they will be closing up their less-than-a-year-old business for a week to go on a vacation. She can’t disclose the location because she’s such a celebrity that she worries about privacy and safety. But I’m sure it will give her plenty of time to think about which overpriced shade would best match her dining room decor.


Healthy Living Blogging

KERF Eats Better Than You

Kath “Control Issues” Younger, real food eater, continues to inflict her boring, food control issue laden thoughts on the internet. Today was another of her trademark busy days, the kind typical of “full time bloggers”:

I went to early cycle this morning and met my friend Katherine. Fun times! We spun hard, and then finished with the core session the class ends with. And then I was dilly-dallying back downtown to my house, where I promptly got to work on massive loads of laundry. More fun times!

Then it was time for a lunch of thimble sized burger and lettuce, which KERF shrilly implied made her superior to people who enjoy some Ore-Ida with their chili burger:

Who needs potato fries when lettuce makes you feel so good?

Jesus. Between claiming that lettuce with salt is comparable to a french fry and taking her own food to parties, Kath sounds like a laugh riot. She must be so much fun to hang out with. No wonder she has so many friends.


Healthy Living Blogging

CaitlinHTP Knows How To Use The Science

Caitlin, of the Healthy Tipping Point blog, recently announced she was joining the Blogger Babies 2012 army with two posts announcing, and then expanding on, her new pregnancy. Because the story of taking the test is itself fantastic blog fodder, Caitlin detailed her experience:

Six days before my period, I POASed (peed on a stick), thought it was negative because a line didn’t immediately appear, and tossed it in the trash.  Then, ten minutes later, I thought, “Hmmm.  Maybe I should re-check.”  So I dug it out of the trash and – lo and behold – a very, very faint line was there! I proceeded to POAS four more times. The Husband wasn’t home, so I was flippin’ out all by myself.

Still unsure of the results provided by a test designed to let you know for sure, she did the only thing a blogger can do when their husband isn’t home – ask other bloggers for advice:

I immediately g-chatted Ashley and Kath and e-mailed Jen, as being all by myself and wondering if it was real was TERRIBLE!  I moaned to Ashley, “I just wish I had kept a negative stick as a control to compare this faint line to!” and she jokingly suggested I use the only other female in the house – my dog Maggie – as a control.  She was totally kidding, but I thought she was a genius.  I raced Maggie outside, convinced her to pee in a cup, and tested her urine.  And – as you guessed it – she was not pregnant… but I was!   Yes.  I am the crazy person who used her dog’s urine as a control.

Yes, you read that correctly- she literally collected her dog’s urine in a red solo cup and dipped a pregnancy test into it. And because she’s a blogger, photographic proof of the exercise was of course required.

To read the whole TMI FAQ about her healthy tipping fetus, click here. Or just pretend she simply announced it, thanked her readers for their support, and moved on with her day. You know, instead of acting like she’s Angelina Jolie with the entire internet breathlessly interested in the fact that she managed to accomplish a biological process.


Healthy Living Blogging

KERF Enjoys A Pat Down

KERF, food blogger or something, enjoys the finer things in life – beer mixed with seltzer, an occasional hushpuppy, being smug. She also enjoys travel. She recently got paid to speak at some Foodbuzz Festival in San Francisco and on the plane ride home, finally got something she really needed: a groping.

Airport things went really well. You just never know how it will go! I got a pat down this time. I liked it – it was kinda like getting a mini massage.

I guess a little human contact was in order since folks in the forum are claiming she wasn’t exactly popular at the Festival:

She’s just as smug as I remember from past meetings.  Of favorite gems, another blogger overheard her asking on of the vendors at the tasting “Tell me why I should write about you?”   Overall, she didn’t seem to be socializing and introducing herself to other bloggers.  I saw her on her own with her sister a good portion of the time.

What? Kath “Cease and Desist” Younger wasn’t welcomed with hugs and parades? But she eats real food, people!


Healthy Living Blogging

Kath Is A Real Celebrity In Fumblebuck

Kath Eats Real Food, so famous she needs a “killer security system” in her home, was the talk of the Orange High reunion. Old friends she never speaks to anymore happily gathered around her lily pad to worship the frog princess and talk about…her blog and her pre-celebrity days:

Tiffany is also a good friend from high school and an avid KERF reader – we had fun discussing blogging in a “I knew you when you were little” context : )

Like most southern gatherings there was a ton of food:

There was a buffet of BBQ and sides, but since we’d just had lunch and weren’t ready for dinner, I just snacked on a hushpuppy – mmm cornmeal! Also ate an apple I brought from home[.]

So she didn’t eat the provided food because she wasn’t “ready for dinner”, but she ate food she brought from home. Sure, that’s totally normal.

Does she EVER relax? She can’t even go to her 10 year reunion and let loose with old friends. The whole event has to be turned into ‘let’s talk about me, hey pose with me for my blog, I can’t eat the food because I’m a food expert, remember before I was a famous blogger?’ No mention of sitting on a pickup bed drinking beer, no “nibbling” fried chicken, no stories about sneaking out with so and so or teenage pranks with what’s-her-name, just a bunch of ‘by the way look how awesome I was in high school’ type stuff and some ‘everyone agrees they knew me before I was a famous blogger’.

After her triumphant return to her humble roots Kath and some person from the reunion went out for fried plantains and one beer. Then she and Betamatt went out for three pieces of chocolate from some shop. After this hard core day of nibbling and bragging, Kath took her gelding husband home:

We were too tired to go out partying – guess that means we’re not in high school anymore!

It was what…9pm, tops? She is 28. It’s not that she’s old, she just needs some damn food for energy. But maybe her hectic celebrity schedule keeps her pretty tired. It’s a lot of work being famous, y’all!