Healthy Living Blogging

Hungry Runner Girl Got Married

Janae, got engaged to the guy she met like 45 minutes ago, evidently tired of being engaged and got her new man down the aisle yesterday. She didn’t share much because they were probably racing off to have sex as soon as possible, but she managed to throw up an announcement post.

Long story short… we were supposed to get married in August and then changed our minds a few weeks ago and decided to get married yesterday instead:)  We are off to Mexico today and I’ll be back soon with all of the details!

I cannot imagine what details could be missing here. She found a new guy and hustled him down the aisle in under six months, presumably so she could get back to making babies. But maybe she wants to share Aunt Myrtle’s Tangy Jesus Punch because everyone at the reception just loved it.

Anyway, I guess in a couple of weeks we will get a baby bump picture because these two seem to be moving faster than a 1980s makeover montage. But congrats, I guess.

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Healthy Living Blogging

FGAA Will Try To Ride 50 Miles And Not Finish

Eric Hites, the begging biker who had to end his “Fat Guy Across America” ride due to heat, attempted yesterday to ride 50 miles – despite heat index predictions of over 100 degrees. He even claimed he intended to sell plasma at the halfway point of his ride saying he had “no choice at the moment” because “that drive from Dallas wasn’t cheap”. He decided not to go through with selling his plasma after his enabler army begged him not to, but the ride still ended in a predictable manner.

So, I headed back home. By that time my water had gotten pretty darn hot, but I had no way to buy the cold stuff so I had to make due [sic]…Apparently the heat overtook me and a passerby called 911 on me…Next thing I know I’m wobbling down the road and the Police put an end to my ride and yanked me from my ride and tossed me in the ambulance. I was pretty overheated and dehydrated and not very coherent. They took me to the hospital pushed fluids and ran tests…they fixed me up gave me my marching papers and said go home, rest and also rest tomorrow.

The convenient emergency happened about 30 miles in on his ill-conceived stunt ride, and gives him a 36 hour breather to get pity donations and come up with another reason why he can’t do any of the things he claimed he’d be doing for 30 days.

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Healthy Living Blogging

Ben Is Also Going Across America In Case You Forgot

bendoesbegging

Ben Davis, doing life, is yet another guy who is going across America. For the past four or so months he has been walking across the country because why not. But now he is out of money and needs you to pay for the last 700 miles.

I almost made it, but as it turns out here nearly 2,400 miles in, I’ve come up just short on funds allocated for the walk. If you’d like to chip in a couple bottles of Gatorade or some trail mix or whatever you can, I’ve made it pretty simple; just click the link in my profile bio here on Instagram.

People have been predicting for months that he would eventually start donation begging, so nobody is really surprised. But Caitlyn Boyle has “found what he has done really inspiring” which is like, the seal of approval on what’s inspiring on instagram. So clearly he deserves your money for Panera meals.

Really though, I’m on the fence about whether to side eye this since he IS getting farther than ole FGAA did in a whole year. I guess I’m just not understanding what is so inspiring about this that it deserves ‘donations’.

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Healthy Living Blogging

Fat Guy Across America Has Retreated Back To Indiana “For 30 Days”

Eric Hites, the Moby Dick of fail whales, announced on his facebook page that he and his albino smurfette friend are now back home in Indiana to regroup. In an endless video featuring his neckbeard and more excuses than a post-Ashley Madison marriage counseling session, Eric blathers about his latest big plan.

We’re basically doing a 30 day bootcamp…I’m going to be working out at the gym AND riding every day. We’re gonna be workin’ on my diet, we’re gonna be workin’ with the medical, we’re gonna be workin’ with the dental, we’re gonna be workin’ on the RV, everything we can get done in the 30 days, we’re gonna get done.

He implies that everyone around him told him to go home and get his RV fixed, his teeth fixed, and see a doctor – presumably so science can study why a man can eat all the “right things” and allegedly bike for hours every day for a year and somehow manage to not lose like a grillion lbs – and then start the “second half” of his “journey”. He also says his goal is to get his “first 50 mile day” and it will be “documented with somebody riding with me”.

He then starts with his vaguepleas for donations; he is “trying to figure out funding” because “funds are rough” right now. He says he is “trying to find ways to raise money without constantly having to ask”. His solutions include “sponsorship possibilities”, selling FGAA branded products, and selling links from his bike chains. He then declares that both he and smurfette “are going to work”. But even with jobs they need to get sponsors because his trip “costs between $600-700 per week”.

If you want to feel like you’re in Ben Stein’s economics class then head on over and watch his video. I did, and I have to wonder if Dr. Phil is somewhere rolling his eyes.

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Healthy Living Blogging

Eat Live Run Is Happy To Shill Despite The Sad News In The World

Screen Shot 2016-06-16 at 2.01.35 PM

Jenna Beaugh, she eats lives and runs, is terribly sad. So sad that she can’t even look at the news. But she won’t let that stop her from pushing the awesomeness of her mlm.

When everything on TV and media seems so negative right now, it makes me even more thankful that my job is SO positive and uplifting…I’m thankful I get to mentor such an amazing team of women who are all about radiating JOY and helping others.

Yep, sorry about all the death and horror, but at least Jenna is happy to shill Beachbody! So glad she can choose joy while she tunes out the events of the world and lives her best life.

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Healthy Living Blogging Internets

Fitting It All In Has Found The Viral Boyfriend Of Every Blogger’s Dreams

Clare, not some obese binge eater, has allegedly been seeing a new guy lately. According to him, he’s handsome, and educated, and makes six figures.

ohclareno

He also apparently likes to go nutburgers on women on dating apps.

wtfclareomg

Connor has since disappeared from social media. No word on whether Clare intends to continue dating the pseudo-MRA brofail.

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Healthy Living Blogging

Hungry Runner Girl Is Engaged

Congrats on your properly moisturized hand situation!

Congrats on your properly moisturized hand situation!

Janae, previously divorced, is now engaged. She has allegedly known her fiance for about two months. She talked about their meeting in a recent post.

…we were set up on a blind date and we clicked instantly (although, I was my normal awkward self of course for that first date and talked a million words per minute and told stories that had no relevance to anything)….  It was weird because I even told about 8 people leading up to the blind date that I had a really good feeling about this one…

Anyway, they got engaged last night and this morning they celebrated by running “5 celebratory miles” because I guess that’s what healthy active people do to honor a happy occasion.

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