Mommy Blogging

Baby Sideburns Can Film Herself Driving


Karen Alpert, known as “Baby Sideburns” in the mommy blogging circle jerk, has joined the club of idiot bloggers who film themselves while driving. To the tune of “Shake It Off” Karen screeches made up lyrics expressing her joy at being in the car alone.

Even setting aside how tired I am of that idiotic song, this video is really ridiculous. When are bloggers going to stop filming themselves while they drive? This isn’t cute, people. Fatal accidents have occurred because of this need for selfies and videos while operating a vehicle, and bloggers are promoting this behavior as totally fine and like-worthy. Knock it off already!


Mommy Blogging

Kayla Prepares For Baby Number Three

In case you’ve been wondering what Kayla and Checkers, formerly homeless by choice, have been up to, Facebook has provided an update.

Hi everyone! I am having a dilemma finding a midwife or OBGYN that will allow me to do a VBA2C in my area…I really would just like to find someone who will support me and at least give me a chance for a trial of labor.

Yes, it seems Kayla is pregnant again. Though her tumblr appears to have been abandoned her Facebook shows a family that seems well fed and clean, so good for them.


Mommy Blogging

Serge Bielanko Files For Divorce

Monica Bielanko, the Girl Who Overshares, and her husband of ten years are divorcing.

He filed sometime last week, abruptly whipping the white papers from the bowels of his Honda and proffering them for me to sign, had a pen at the ready and everything, like some slick music exec trying to get the next big thing to sign on the dotted line.

The couple separated 7 months ago and have since been basically bragging about how they are doing marital breakups correctly. Now Monica seems to be singing a different tune, claiming the past few months have been filled with self-medication.

Whatever gets me through, man. Whatever gets me through. Balling up emotions, deafening music and beer. Lots of beer.

Saying she’s “probably due for some sort of awesome public meltdown”, Monica concluded her post with a sad  realization that probably resonates with many divorcing couples – “We are becoming strangers.”


Mommy Blogging

Feminst Breeder Wants To Know How You Found Her Address

The Feminist Breeder, strong black woman, let her son run off during a tantrum.

Jules got mad because Jolene drank his juice so he ran away. Like for real, ran away. The cops came to our door because someone found him a mile away at the AutoZone. We thought he had just gone to our neighbor’s house.

She was apparently unaware of her son’s whereabouts until the police showed up at her door. Saying “I mean, he’s 6. It’s not like my 3 yr old wandered off”, she explained it wasn’t her son’s disappearance that upset her; she was more concerned with how the police figured out how to contact her.


She went on to say “Apparently the police basically only needed my son’s first name to find out my cell phone number and our address. That’s probably scarier than anything else that happened today.”

Maybe it’s just me, but if my child had run off to a store and had to be returned by the police, the last thing on my mind would be “omg how did you find my address!!11” I’d probably just be glad nothing bad happened, not going on about how insecure I feel about my personal information.


Mommy Blogging

MckMama Returns To Blogging

MckMama, the MLM shilling phoenix of debt, has come back to blogging.

I’m back! Though I never truly went anywhere. I’m still right here. And so are they. Kieran is now 9, Cullen is 8, Maisie is 6, Stellan is 5 and baby Lachlan is 4. Time flies when you’re not blogging. And I’m sure it will still fly now that I am again!

It looks like her new blog will focus on Africa and Xyngular, with a bunch of kidsploitation thrown in as heartstring tugging filler.

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe she’ll put up some ads, make some money, and start paying back all those creditors…oh come on guys, let me be optimistic for five seconds!


Mommy Blogging

NieNie Announces Number Six


Stephanie Nielson, energy shot rehab promoter, informed the internet yesterday of an impending sixth Nielson.

When the girls found out, they both cried the sweetest, happiest tears. My boys kept thanking me, and I knew this baby was coming to a wonderful family where his/her siblings will adore him/her.

She went on to say something about prayers because pregnancy is hard, but she knows she can do it, presumably because #soblessed.


Mommy Blogging

The 2014 Type-A Parent Conference Begins

The sixth annual Type-A con is underway, and mommy and daddy bloggers are busy blowing up the hashtag.

The sessions so far seem to be about “thriving in a home office“, “finding your voice“, and some guy in a foil tiara telling mommy bloggers they should “act like a CEO”. Sessions are also teaching bloggers to “embrace” feedback but don’t let it change your “voice”. Not-even-a-mommy-blogger-anymore Cecily Kellogg is there, evidently adjusting her bra; other bloggers are astroturfing the event with their business cards.

Of course there’s the usual dress up idiocy, and the requisite food and coffee pics which every real CEO takes time to post while at an event.

So this is what bloggers pay 300 bucks plus travel for. At least nobody is having blood buckets handed to them over breakfast, right?