Fashion Blogging WTF

Cupcakes And Cashmere’s Therapist Agrees That Critics Are The Ones With The Problem

Emily Schuman, now officially insufferable, has posted about the “single biggest tip” she’s “learned from therapy”. In a nutshell, it sounds like her therapist has encouraged her to believe she’s perfect and that anyone who is critical is “projecting”.

In a post that will have Jenna Cole emailing Cuppy for her therapist’s number, Emily begins by whining about how choosing to be a public figure has made her life like, so hard guys.

When I’m criticized, even by strangers, my first reaction is to be sad, which is compounded by the public nature of my job. I love what I do, but making myself vulnerable to negative feedback can be difficult.

You guys it’s so hard to like, have a job, and deal with customers and clients having opinions that aren’t always positive!  Negative feedback make Cuppy sads. : ( Thankfully her therapist has provided her with the ages old excuse to dismiss any negative experience.

But my therapist recently shared some insight with me that I’ve found particularly helpful…It’s not about you, it’s about them.

The elevated version of ‘they’re just jealous’ works in every situation!

Instead of asking yourself, “What did I do to deserve that?” ask “What happened to them to make them so angry in this moment?”

Well, most of us don’t have time to sit around trying to figure out why someone was a dickhead in the grocery line, but you do you. Which leads her to sum up why narcys loooove this kind of therapist.

By placing the burden on them rather than yourself, it makes it much easier to brush off.

Ding! Tell yourself the other person has personal issues or mental health problems or bad relationships or or or or or and then you’re free to ignore anything you don’t want to hear! Oh the magic of Asspat Therapy. Glennon Doyle would be so proud!

  1. Purple21

    “What happened to them to make them so angry?” Umm, the person who they are paying to do a job screwed up… so now they are projecting some unrelated trauma from their childhood.

    I thought when a customer/ client complained, the first thing to do is to ask myself how can we fix it so the customer/ client is happys; secondly, you sit down and figure out whether the complaint is justified and how can you prevent a similar problem in the future.
    And yeah, of COURSE they are jealous!!

  2. cloyingcorpse

    I get that excessive online hate/trolling should be brushed off but she really needs to accept constructive criticism and people’s real thoughts (she should stop moderating comments to only display the positive ones…like girl come on.) Telling people to brush off criticism is stupid and shows just how much self awareness she lacks.

  3. some of you have asked

    She gets more and more ridiculous. Oh yeah, Cuppy. Any time anyone gives critical feedback, they’re just a big fat jealous hater. Nice way to dismiss anyone who doesn’t have their lips affixed to your ass. Not saying she has to take troll-type comments seriously. But Emily, maybe you wouldn’t have so many Emperor’s New Clothes “moments” if you “leaned in” to reflecting on whether the person has a point.

  4. Walking Parody of Middle America

    I can’t believe that a therapist actually said that to her. The majority of adults cannot afford to live in a fantasy land where nothing is their fault, so why would a professional therapist encourage people to avoid responsibility. It seems like that would just cripple them and keep them in therapy forever.

    • Unsuitable for Obvious Diagonals

      It’s always possible that Emily’s therapist didn’t actually say that to her, or at least, didn’t say it quite as it was reported. I work in the mental health field and am very familiar with the tendency of clients to somewhat distort, misinterpret, or mis-remember things in accordance with their particular issues or character. Furthermore, depending on how fragile (or narcissistic) the therapist thinks Emily is, the therapist may have been trying to handle this issue in a way that Emily could tolerate, so as not to rupture the relationship. On the other hand – yes, there are some clueless therapists out there.

  5. Copulate furiously for blog fodder

    Is her therapist Shauna Ahern?
    “You seem angry.”

  6. Grey Duck

    If you can’t take the heat, then get the f**k out of the kitchen. There’s a reason these people are self employed, as they wouldn’t survive in the world if they were held accountable for the feedback that the rest of the world is subjected to. That being said, what makes them think they’re suitable/competent to be bloggers? You’ve made your living out of making virtually every part of your life public; you do not get to mute your audience (i.e. the hand that feeds you).