While millions of people sat alone on February 13th wondering how to avoid the next day, Heather Armstrong, mansion buyer, sat staring at a card from her daughter. Ever the loving, accepting, uncritical mother, Dooce proceeded to post her feelings about her daughter’s effort for the internet to read:
My favorite part is that I have no neck. My head is just attached to my torso. And it’s as wide as my torso. And my skirt is so short that you can see my perfectly square lady parts. Just focus on that and you won’t freak out about the fact that I have no feet.
I get that this is her schtick – complaints or sarcasm about absolutely everything – but just once couldn’t she just say “thank you darling, it’s wonderful”, stick it on the fridge, and spare her child yet another public round of her snark? The time to mock this sort of thing is when she’s 20 and then you pull the card out and privately lol at it together. But right now she’s a little kid. Give her a dang break, lady.