Mommy Blogging

Dooce Returns To Blogging

Heather Armstrong, valedictorian of not quitting blogging, is apparently going to start blogging again.

Dooce recently announced she would be moving her community to the free Slack service. Now she unveils her new site, with the redesign “made possible” by a dog food company. But it’s not just a new layout, it’s super symbolic and stuff.

…this is a visual representation of a new, hard-earned chapter in my life. The girls and I moved across town a month ago…we also survived the hardest and worst year of my life, by far…

The former web designer then attempts to minimize her two year semi-retirement by putting some of the blame on her CMS.

Taking a break from blogging had as much to do with gaining a little perspective as it did with hating the existing WordPress installation and becoming violently ill when logging into my website and realizing, aw hell no. I am not not about to fill out sixteen separate fields of useless information just so that I can tell all of you that I desperately want to talk about my butt.

She goes on to pull some kind of tortured artist act, explaining that she needs to write.

I look back at the darkness that consumed me last year…and realize that either by necessity or fatigue or lack of self-care, I abandon the practice of words. And then things got really, really bad. For a decade and a half, words have been my medicine.

Instead of, ya know, medicine being her medicine, I guess.

Anyway, she wraps it up by saying she is going to “write more, to share all the stories that unfold in a house of women”, and then concludes with a proper Dooce-ish dramatic vaguebomb – thanking her mother and stepfather “who together saved my life. Those two people are responsible for the fact that I am sitting here talking to you right now.”

  1. Candace Started the Fire


  2. Dame Helen Chichester

    How many “hardest and worst years of my life, by far” is she going to claim to have???

    • RESPECT the Gun Squirrel Brain with Autographed Boner

      Every. Freaking. Year. It’s hard being Dooce.

    • JustBathingWeekly

      Dammit, I was coming here to comment THIS EXACT SAME THING!

    • Dooce Bigelow


      I’m the opposite. I look back at each year as a new one begins and think “Man, that was the best year ever!” Even the years that had bullshit like divorce or being laid off. I’d be an annoying blogger. “Last year was, by far, the best year of my life!” posts at the beginning of each new year.

    • Roadkill on Batshit Lane

      Every. Single. Year. Every month is the worst hardest month, every year is the worst hardest year, every season is the worst hardest season for her to get through, every phase of the moon is the worst hardest time for her. She is always evidently hanging on by the edges of her fingernails, trying not to be flung off the planet by centrifugal force while she pushes one foot in front of the other. Everything is REALLY HARD in her life – never mind that other people manage things like taking their own kids to school AND applying instagram filters IN THE SAME DAY. She has it HARD – it is SO HARD.

  3. D

    So, she needs to make more money, right? She tried branching out and just using her name but she’s gotta go old school again. That’s gotta be it. College is also getting relatively close for the girls and boy do I hope they go far. I expect lots of affiliate links and every post to be sponsored.

    I’m Depressed, brought to you in part by Meow Mix.

    • I honestly can’t figure out what other ways she really tried to make money over the past two years. She hasn’t produced a new book. It doesn’t seem like she had a whole lot of public speaking gigs. I guess she got some sort of kind of maybe real job a few months ago but I doubt it’s bringing in the 30k$ a month she got used to during the salad days of being So yeah, I’m thinking there’s probably some financial motive here. There’s still fanpoodles out there who want to read her garble so why not take advantage of that?

      • Little Red Widowhood and the Gun-Mad Wolf

        How do you blow through $30K a month? I mean, assuming you’re not a rapper or a pro athlete or Nicolas Cage.

        • Step 1 is buying a million dollar house you don’t need.

          • Little Red Widowhood and the Gun-Mad Wolf

            Riiiiight. I forgot about that! Didn’t she also sell it at a loss?

            • Intravenous D Milo

              If she did, that’s impressively inept. I live in SLC and our market is inflamed like a hernia right now. You have to really work to lose money on a house.

              • allegedly

                It was enormous-like 3 full stories? 8 bathrooms? 10 bedrooms? It was also old-cost a fortune to heat & cool-remember her saying her bedroom was 50 degrees one winter.

                Is there a market for huge houses there? I guess more than anywhere but still.

              • Roadkill on Batshit Lane

                She sold it several years ago.

              • Intravenous D Milo

                Yeah, the utilities costs are real, but there are actually bidding wars going on for homes of any size right now in SLC. If she sold it several years ago, that would explain it.

      • Roadkill on Batshit Lane

        I assumed she thought she was going to have a second career as a motivational speaker – banking tons of invites to deliver keynotes and be a featured panelist or special guest at whatever blah blah single mom/blogger/lady entrepreneur whatever conference. She tanked that right out of the box, though, when she went to a conference about making money at blogging and trashed the shit out of blogging.

        • Yesly Gathering to Celebrate Warball

          Yeah, there isn’t anything motivational about declaring something to be over because it wasn’t working for you anymore. Who wants to pay her to talk about how she is taking her ball and going home?

    • Another day another struggle

      Yup I was coming to say so she’s about out of money.

    • Scorecat

      Definitely the

  4. Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger

    Stocking up on popcorn for the saga of how her mom and stepdad saved her life. I don’t want to snark on anyone with genuine depression issues, but good lort, she simply has to be the Valedictorian of All the Drama Ever Drama’ed.

    • Britt

      I’m sure her kids are gonna be thrilled to read that one

  5. JustBathingWeekly

    Gawd, I know, she suffers from depression, and far be it from me to minimize that, but how much drivel about “coming out of the darkness” blah. blah, blah, is she going to continue to spout? First it was becoming a vegetarian that saved her, then going vegan, then “retiring” from blogging, now she needs to start blogging again because that’s the answer? Whatever happened to therapy and meds? Oh wait, she can’t get paid for doing either of those things. Got it. I’m good.

    • gotanygrapes

      You’re wrong! First it was paleo, THEN it was veterian, THEN it was vegan.

      • JustBathingWeekly

        Bahaha, you’re right I totally forgot about the Paleo phase!!


    This chick is going to be the most popular 15 year old on Xanga.

  7. ringo

    You know that year when your marriage and then your job/industry falls apart? That is one shitty year.

    But even worse is the year after the year after the year after the year after that! THAT is the hardest, most challenging and worst years of your life! I know it sounds crazy!

  8. Little Red Widowhood and the Gun-Mad Wolf

    I’m sure the four doocepoodles she has left are THRILLED. The rest of internet has let out a collective yawn.

  9. legsfordays

    What happened to the farm to table company or whatever that was?

  10. Scorecat

    I meant to say that her hair color, new eye lashes and car don’t pay for themselves…because Instagram prefers youth she has to go back to blogging to maintain the lifestyle.

  11. VenusFlyTrap

    She mentions on-line dating in Utah. I am SO tempted to set up an okcupid and/or bumble or whatever the kids are using these days. I’d LOVE to see what she says about herself in her profile.

  12. sonotamused

    If she can’t commit to filling out 16 fields, how can she commit to blogging again? I mean SO MANY OF THE WORDS. BRING ME MY FAINTING COUCH!

  13. Tabby

    I guess this is the year I will continue to not read Dooce’s blog. Can’t wait.