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Jessica Quirk / Stars and Field / What I Wore
August 30, 2016
4:00 pm
avatar

size small caftan meowed

Covered in Dog Hair meowed

size small caftan meowed
"We’ve had a name picked out since before our first was born, so now we just need to narrow down a middle name."

Translation:  We chose one of the names that was guessed on GOMI, but we totally chose it years before GOMI predicted it! (!!!).  

Have a nice life with the cats, Felix.

That is so offensive in a way.  Because little miss princess just KNEW she would get her glorious girl one day.  Because no one ever deals with personal tragedies, or just not getting exactly what they want in life, or pesky little problems like infertility/secondary infertility.  

Meh.  She will become even more entitled than she is now, which, how is that even possible?    

I kind of hate it that she gets whatever she wants, but then I remind myself that no matter what she wants/gets, she is miserable so it's nothing to be jealous of.  

bandwagon It's still tough to watch sometimes.  She is just the definition of undeserved entitlement.  With such a rotten attitude to boot.  

That Squirky meowed
I know the insiders keyed us in to it being a girl before today, but I really thought it was a boy, because she has seemed so damn sad lately, it's hard to snark. She seems MISERABLE, and the dead eyes mentioned above.

Also, I know it's a blogger thing to do these reveals (hers is SO Pink Peonies style), but is it weird her husband isn't in any of these?

Finally, add me to the list of sangry that she gets to have what she wants and seems so ungrateful. I'm hopped up on fertility media, so that's probably where the rage is coming from…

I feel you. (((hugs)))  I also think yes, it's weird.  I wondered that too re: her missing husband.  

August 30, 2016
4:08 pm
avatar

Mara from "M Loves M" has a similar post today- except it's GORGEOUS. You can really see how little Mess cares about her "job" when you see Mara's post.

And what's up with all the weird boob shots? puke

August 30, 2016
4:10 pm
avatar
Grape Shaming
Hamcat
Meows: 195
Snarking Since:
September 4, 2014

I only started reading Messi since Squirk (Feely!) was born, so I may have missed it–has she said she wanted a daughter? Or does GOMI typically assume all bloggers (esp #boymom bloggers) are coveting (and planning on) raising a mini-me… which doesn't seem all that unlikely given the very narcissism that drives this culture. 

Other than 5 seconds ago when she said they're ~thrilled~ at finding out the sex of the baby (and hopefully she would have been either way because yanno, healthy baby, a baby at all, gender as a social construct etc), I mean.

And hugs to you Squirky and other folks who are living with similar challenges. hugggg

August 30, 2016
4:15 pm
avatar

Covered in Dog Hair meowed

nofashionsense meowed
It's not shocking to see that her smile in these gender reveal photos just doesn't really reach her eyes.

She always has dead eyes.  They are two tiny dark holes in the center of her humongous face.  

And after watching this video yesterday on youtube, I can kind of see why she foregoes eye makeup.  dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-qRlXpXno

Also, wtf is this? Everything she does is always so half-assed.  Yeah Messi, I'm taking attention away from your ZOMG BABY REVEAL because no1curr.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1PRSicJgKw

She's totally that girl who will have another baby shower because she is having a different gender baby now and wants more gifts.  

I never look at her blog, but I just looked.  That first pic of just her is eek.   "and the bouquet was a collaboration between Adam and I.."  It's "between Adam and ME" you moron.  

Everything about her is meh.  Of course her extemporaneous thoughts about impending motherhood redux are boring AF.  "We are expecting adjustments but are just over the moon."  "I am so boring."  etc. 

I could really have done without seeing her massive cleavage in that photo with her son.  Also, for the love of God, get a more supportive brassiere. 

I love your comments, had to include replies to both of these as well. (I want to respond to every single comment everyone is posting, too)

Her eyes are totally like little black holes. Minuscule supervoids of nothingness. They contain the absence of multitudes. I know that doesn't really make sense, I'm not a f**kin' astronomer. She is overcompensating for her tiny beady black hole eyes with the oversize sunglasses, in an effort to balance out the bottom half of her face. Every photo she takes wearing sunglasses is a lie.

That Lancome video – what in the actual f**k – I couldn't even watch the whole way through. Cool still photo montage.

And seriously, the reveal was so boring. What I Bore. Meh fest to the core. Overuse of the word 'excited' but I guess that's to be expected from someone who can't be bothered to use automatic spellcheck – heaven forbid she right click on a word and plug it into a thesaurus – why expand your vocabulary or try to be meaningful when you can just rely on commonplace clichéd expressions like "we're over the moon" to get the job done?

drool <– this smiley gives me life

@Cheeks – what does VBacing mean?

@size small caftan – exactly. She presents herself in this braggy smug way, but cries into a pint of gelato every night. Her life is far from perfect. Just because she's hitting the major milestones of heteronormative basic middle class life, doesn't mean shit about her personal development and personal growth, which is so clearly stunted and lacking.

Everyone else – don't feel bad. Is your happiness solely based on the validation of strangers? Do you have one best friend you can call when you're feeling down? Are you capable of meeting minimal every day challenges like leaving the house? Do you have a basic understanding of compound words? You're already doing far better than she is at life, no matter what perfectly posed bullshit she's presenting to the world via her hollowed out empty excuse for a blog. The woman-child is held up by so many flimsy crutches, it's astounding to behold.

Also: Still blows my mind that the only thing she's committed to with any consistency it is snarking on the f**king BACHELOR every week.  I have more thoughts on this and the subject of 'niceness' and 'meanness' I want to collect and share.

I'm disappointed to have to force myself to go back into lurk-ish mode after Labor Day. The only reason I have been able to play with you guys this week is because work has been so slow with everyone is on vacation. I might need to put a leash and/or muzzle back on myself and adhere to my responsibilities to not refresh this page all the livelong day. So if it seems like I am dumping out a ton of crap all at once it's because I am. This is like spring break for me right now.

August 30, 2016
4:20 pm
avatar
future farmer
Feles Imperatrix
Meows: 16387
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

Grape Shaming meowed
I only started reading Messi since Squirk (Feely!) was born, so I may have missed it–has she said she wanted a daughter? Or does GOMI typically assume all bloggers (esp #boymom bloggers) are coveting (and planning on) raising a mini-me… which doesn't seem all that unlikely given the very narcissism that drives this culture. 

Other than 5 seconds ago when she said they're ~thrilled~ at finding out the sex of the baby (and hopefully she would have been either way because yanno, healthy baby, a baby at all, gender as a social construct etc), I mean.

And hugs to you Squirky and other folks who are living with similar challenges. hugggg

Oh yes she has said she wants a daughter, to whom she can pass all of her omg DVF designer and vintage dresses.  I imagine that girl will some day look at that chest full of outdated (omg so valuable vintage!) dresses and say what is this shit? lol  I also imagine that her lucky Coach clodhoppers are in that chest.  And those awful Jessica Simpson wedges.  Maybe they can get matching bee tattoos some day (so edgy).  

Ditto the sentiments to Squirky and others with hopes for a baby soon, best of luck to you.

August 30, 2016
4:49 pm
avatar

personal pan pizzazz meowed

Covered in Dog Hair meowed

nofashionsense meowed
It's not shocking to see that her smile in these gender reveal photos just doesn't really reach her eyes.

She always has dead eyes.  They are two tiny dark holes in the center of her humongous face.  

And after watching this video yesterday on youtube, I can kind of see why she foregoes eye makeup.  dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-qRlXpXno

Also, wtf is this? Everything she does is always so half-assed.  Yeah Messi, I'm taking attention away from your ZOMG BABY REVEAL because no1curr.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1PRSicJgKw

She's totally that girl who will have another baby shower because she is having a different gender baby now and wants more gifts.  

I never look at her blog, but I just looked.  That first pic of just her is eek.   "and the bouquet was a collaboration between Adam and I.."  It's "between Adam and ME" you moron.  

Everything about her is meh.  Of course her extemporaneous thoughts about impending motherhood redux are boring AF.  "We are expecting adjustments but are just over the moon."  "I am so boring."  etc. 

I could really have done without seeing her massive cleavage in that photo with her son.  Also, for the love of God, get a more supportive brassiere. 

I love your comments, had to include replies to both of these as well. (I want to respond to every single comment everyone is posting, too)

Her eyes are totally like little black holes. Minuscule supervoids of nothingness. They contain the absence of multitudes. I know that doesn't really make sense, I'm not a f**kin' astronomer. She is overcompensating for her tiny beady black hole eyes with the oversize sunglasses, in an effort to balance out the bottom half of her face. Every photo she takes wearing sunglasses is a lie.

That Lancome video – what in the actual f**k – I couldn't even watch the whole way through. Cool still photo montage.

And seriously, the reveal was so boring. What I Bore. Meh fest to the core. Overuse of the word 'excited' but I guess that's to be expected from someone who can't be bothered to use automatic spellcheck – heaven forbid she right click on a word and plug it into a thesaurus – why expand your vocabulary or try to be meaningful when you can just rely on commonplace clichéd expressions like "we're over the moon" to get the job done?

drool <– this smiley gives me life

@Cheeks – what does VBacing mean?

@size small caftan – exactly. She presents herself in this braggy smug way, but cries into a pint of gelato every night. Her life is far from perfect. Just because she's hitting the major milestones of heteronormative basic middle class life, doesn't mean shit about her personal development and personal growth, which is so clearly stunted and lacking.

Everyone else – don't feel bad. Is your happiness solely based on the validation of strangers? Do you have one best friend you can call when you're feeling down? Are you capable of meeting minimal every day challenges like leaving the house? Do you have a basic understanding of compound words? You're already doing far better than she is at life, no matter what perfectly posed bullshit she's presenting to the world via her hollowed out empty excuse for a blog. The woman-child is held up by so many flimsy crutches, it's astounding to behold.

Also: Still blows my mind that the only thing she's committed to with any consistency it is snarking on the f**king BACHELOR every week.  I have more thoughts on this and the subject of 'niceness' and 'meanness' I want to collect and share.

I'm disappointed to have to force myself to go back into lurk-ish mode after Labor Day. The only reason I have been able to play with you guys this week is because work has been so slow with everyone is on vacation. I might need to put a leash and/or muzzle back on myself and adhere to my responsibilities to not refresh this page all the livelong day. So if it seems like I am dumping out a ton of crap all at once it's because I am. This is like spring break for me right now.

The love is mutual!  I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.  I honestly really needed to read that, as I've had the Messi Shitty kitties myself since yesterday.  (your take on her hitting the heteronormative markers not meaning she has some fab life).  I mean, I KNOW this, on most levels all the time, but it's good to read sometimes esp when delivered with a healthy dose of humor and snark.  

August 30, 2016
4:57 pm
avatar

DOUBLE conjunctivitis meowed
Mara from "M Loves M" has a similar post today- except it's GORGEOUS. You can really see how little Mess cares about her "job" when you see Mara's post.

And what's up with all the weird boob shots? puke

You're right! Eerie, or I guess just boring since all bloggers do the same thing. But anyway, Mara's variation on the theme at least looked like it took a little effort and she looks very glam and put together. And happy. Imagine that! (Her fake eyelashes are a little insane for me though.) 

August 30, 2016
5:03 pm
avatar
As of 2/10/17… Ali

DOUBLE conjunctivitis meowed
Mara from "M Loves M" has a similar post today- except it's GORGEOUS. You can really see how little Mess cares about her "job" when you see Mara's post.

And what's up with all the weird boob shots? puke

Wow. HUGE difference.

August 30, 2016
5:07 pm
avatar
Ken and Barbie will see you now
Hamcat
Meows: 143
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2013

Pizzazz – VBac is a vaginal birth after c-section.

August 30, 2016
5:31 pm
avatar

Ken and Barbie will see you now meowed
Pizzazz – VBac is a vaginal birth after c-section.

Thank you! I am a DINK party0006

August 30, 2016
5:43 pm
avatar
future farmer
Feles Imperatrix
Meows: 16387
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

You probably don't want to say, but I'm dying to know where you know Messi from popcorn.  Please give us any inside scoop you can before you have to poof/Labor Day! oregonian_winesmileyDoesn't have to be about where you know her from, all in-the-wild sightings are welcome.

August 30, 2016
5:56 pm
avatar

SoBrave.MuchFeels meowed

DOUBLE conjunctivitis meowed
Mara from "M Loves M" has a similar post today- except it's GORGEOUS. You can really see how little Mess cares about her "job" when you see Mara's post.

And what's up with all the weird boob shots? puke

Wow. HUGE difference.

Brutal.  facepalm Pack it in, Messi.  

Someone please explain her hair to me, like how she thinks that hair looks good I just can't even.  I recently got a bad haircut so I should probably STFU, but, I'm not a fashion blogger and this is not my job.  

August 30, 2016
6:25 pm
avatar

Messi's gender reveal dress makes her look like the pregnant older sister bridesmaid in a really cheap wedding… which is funny because literally no one would ever, ever ask her to stand up in a wedding. 





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