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Jessica Quirk / What I Wore
October 18, 2017
1:51 pm
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jobless ground turkey blogger
Hamcat
Meows: 88
Snarking Since:
April 17, 2012

I seriously do not understand this b****. I'm making plans to eventually move cross country (in a year!!!!) and have ALREADY begun brain-storming about ways to get my ass out of my imaginary new house and make friends. I get that she has 2 kids to haul around but, like so many other hams have said, that just opens MORE possibilities to make friends that someone like me, without kids, doesn't have. 

I think she suffers from (among other things) two really opposing desires with limited energy/personality to do either effectively: 1. she wants to appear like she has so much amazing stuff going on all the time (HASHTAG GOALZ) and 2. wanting to be a catered-to homebody who has everything done for her. She can't have a go-go-go lifestyle because she apparently can't consistently figure out how to get 2 kids into a car, and has no desire to do anything that isn't 100% centered around her. She also can't be waited on hand and foot because Adumb has to work like most adults and because "she's broke" so no paying for childcare so she can scroll Instagram all day. The result is she's bored, and boring, and jealous of people with actual lives, but without the ability to make any active change in her own life; if something doesn't happen to fall in her lap to occupy her time (friends, babies, a job) she won't actively seek anything out. She literally needs to get a life.

October 18, 2017
1:55 pm
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just stahp
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 708
Snarking Since:
March 29, 2016

I'm amazed at how much she keeps bringing up the "good 'ol days" of Brooklyn and her 20s…..Not sure about others, but I'm so friggen glad to be out of my 20s and in my 30s. I gained perspective. My mindset completely changed (even down to clothing) and I realized what I want to focus on/enjoy and not waste my time on and don't give a shit what people think. I started to notice the trivial crap that was a mental (and emotional) time waste. Obviously, she hasn't hit that point yet.

confusedidontknow

October 18, 2017
3:17 pm
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Bugfrey Von
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 18, 2015

just stahp meowed

I'm amazed at how much she keeps bringing up the "good 'ol days" of Brooklyn and her 20s…..Not sure about others, but I'm so friggen glad to be out of my 20s and in my 30s. I gained perspective. My mindset completely changed (even down to clothing) and I realized what I want to focus on/enjoy and not waste my time on and don't give a shit what people think. I started to notice the trivial crap that was a mental (and emotional) time waste. Obviously, she hasn't hit that point yet.

confusedidontknow

Same. My 20’s were my foundation, not my peak. In any case, I cannot stand “Deep thought with Jessica Quirk, wherein she muses about pedantic bullshit while staring wistfully off into the distance.” Every single story is the same, boring realizations that most people have come to by the time they’re 18 – “Life…it’s not a popularity contest, you guys!” “Maybe my house will never be #sponsored, but you guys, I’m happy with what I have most of the time…” “Guys, LIFE ISN’T A POPULARITY CONTEST, you guys!” “People on instagram are sometimes fake, you guys. Trust me.” Inevitably, in every single story, one of her 2 kids are inevitably asking for her, being ignored while the Maharishi Quirk spews nonsense. Please, shut the f**k up. Your children are beautiful, your home belongs to you…. don’t let the lasting memory your children have of you is you sobbing into your phone. sfun_nopity

October 19, 2017
11:00 am
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Sprinks
Hamcat
Meows: 79
Snarking Since:
June 18, 2015

Teary eyed Jessica hates her bangs and her laptop may be dead or just cold.
I truly hope to God nothing bad ever happens to her other than being 10 lbs heavier than she's used to and having chopped her bangs too short because her f ing head will explode.

October 19, 2017
12:44 pm
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jobless ground turkey blogger
Hamcat
Meows: 88
Snarking Since:
April 17, 2012

The helmet head is strong today. Hilarious. Also, wow at the old pictures of her. Nothing revolutionary style-wise, but damn. At least she didn't look like a loony mess and that jacket actually fit her.

October 19, 2017
1:11 pm
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Fat Vegan
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1086
Snarking Since:
February 5, 2014

I think at this point, she should cut her hair short.  Longer than a true pixie, but something with structure.  The He-Man bangs and heavy blunt bob is horrible, and the color is awful.  It's better to just cut it all off.

  

October 19, 2017
1:14 pm
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sponsoredcontent
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1194
Snarking Since:
June 28, 2013

It’s the Pendleton jacket! She obsessed over it and watched the end of the driveway for the mailman to arrive. IIRC, it was her perfect, once in a lifetime, “investment piece” of a jacket that we rarely saw again. I’m glad she still has it, though a little uh that she spent hundreds on a wool coat that she only wears on an annual camping trip.

October 19, 2017
1:30 pm
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Slice of Costco Cheesecake
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 471
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2016

My. GOD. She is like a completely different person. It is startling! I mean, all us moms probably don't nearly as cute or put together every day like we did before kids – but she seriously looked so much happier. If looking at old pictures of herself makes her sad then either stop looking at them or do something about it! Change your hair! That alone would be the single most impactful thing she could do to boost her self esteem. Why does she not see that? It NEEDS to be dark and have an actual shape/style. I get depressed FOR her looking at those pictures others-221

October 19, 2017
1:53 pm
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just stahp
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 708
Snarking Since:
March 29, 2016

She wears her pendleton jacket for CAMPING?  Of all the times to wear something rugged or outdoorish – a camo fatigue olive jacket (she has them), a puffer vest …. ANYTHING other than a beautiful expensive coat that doesn't even fit anymore? (no way that closes!) 

And the untied duck boots. Sure. There's no way she schlopped around in those untied like that. She had to have slipped those on just for the pic. She looks like if she takes a step, her foot will slide out and precious BeaBea is going to go flying into the lake they are so loose.

October 19, 2017
2:12 pm
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Creative Endive Presentation
Hamcat
Meows: 176
Snarking Since:
December 22, 2016

Her hair!

October 19, 2017
2:26 pm
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alice
Meows: 12467
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2008

Mild white knighting ahead…

I'm really starting to think she's got a very cute figure now. Whether she can see it or not, her baby weight has started melting a bit and frankly I'd kill for her slim upper arms and legs. She just needs to let those chunky jumpers and coats die in a campfire already. Some light cashmere v-neck sweaters would look really good on her I think, and she could layer collar shirts or camis under them. They would be warm without adding so much bulk. She could buy a dozen in various colors and be set for years because they last forever and never go out of style.

I feel her pain trying to dress around giant tityas because it can seem like everything you put on hangs in a way that makes you look dumpy. But there ARE better options than 'Jessica Fletcher Going Fishing With Seth Hazlitt' or whatever character this look is supposed to be. 

October 19, 2017
2:32 pm
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alice
Meows: 12467
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2008

just stahp meowed 
And the untied duck boots. Sure. There's no way she schlopped around in those untied like that. She had to have slipped those on just for the pic. She looks like if she takes a step, her foot will slide out and precious BeaBea is going to go flying into the lake they are so loose.

I actually sold my bean regular duck boots and got the Lounger ones.* They are so easy to slip on and off and I don't have to deal with laces at all. I feel like they would be great for a mom of two kids as an alternative to the regular ducks.

* not an affiliate link

October 19, 2017
2:36 pm
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Case of the Sadz
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 518
Snarking Since:
June 26, 2012

She dresses in such an unflattering manner. I get she's camping and figure flattery is probably not at the top of her list – but she needs to stop buying chunky white turtlenecks. Girl is pretty thin, but doesn't look it. We are the same height and I thought we were wearing about the same size until she posted those size 4 jeans a couple weeks ago. I wear a size 10, but swear I look thinner in pictures than she does. Size 4/6 was my skinny skinny days. 

It really bugs the crap out of me when she wears those boots undone. She brought me to GOMI years ago and I remember this coming up at some other point. She basically said she never ties her boots on these trips, so suck it haters. IDK or remember why. That style isn't really for fall are they? Maybe they have unlined ones that aren't as warm but they make no sense here and look just terrible and sloppy. 

Her hair! Gah. What has she done to that. If she did nothing she'd have so much more money and attractive hair. I wish my hair was as thick as hers is naturally. She'd have low maintenance style if she just grew it out and could put it up in a top knot. It's not high fashion but it's a cute realistic hairstyle for a new Mom. 

Her Mac charger woes are real though – just this morning my husband was sitting on ours trying to get it to charge. There was no crying or whining to the internet involved though. 





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