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Gluten Free Girl
September 28, 2017
9:18 pm
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Satans Fluffer
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 373
Snarking Since:
April 23, 2013

champagne mami meowed

am i an idiot or does the "foodswaps" service sound particularly…unfeasible? she plans on buying all the groceries for, bringing cooking utensils, etc for (presumably) 4-5 guests, and EVERY person is gonna go home with enough of every dish to feed 4-6 people. that's… a lot of food? in general it sounds like she's promising a lot she absolutely will not be able to deliver on. deja frickn vu…

Exactly! Yet again, she doesn't think things through logically. If they had a commercial kitchen with individual cook stations, it would work, but most people I know have one stove, one oven, and not really enough burners or counter space for four or more people to comfortably prep food at. But maybe people on Vashon have enormous kitchens? If you have only 4 guests at this swap, and everyone's going home with food for 4, that alone is 16 servings of soup. One pot isn't serving 16 people. How long of a day is this? I need more details!

September 28, 2017
10:10 pm
Betty Cruikshank
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1395
Snarking Since:
October 31, 2013

champagne mami meowed
am i an idiot or does the "foodswaps" service sound particularly…unfeasible? she plans on buying all the groceries for, bringing cooking utensils, etc for (presumably) 4-5 guests, and EVERY person is gonna go home with enough of every dish to feed 4-6 people. that's… a lot of food? in general it sounds like she's promising a lot she absolutely will not be able to deliver on. deja frickn vu…

I think we have a book title winner! "Promising a Lot, Unable to Deliver: The Shauna Ahern Story."

September 28, 2017
10:40 pm
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Cottage Cheese Frosting
Kitten
Meows: 10
Snarking Since:
May 5, 2016

I can't use the word "feed" anymore because Shauna has made it creepy. My cat now gets served breakfast and dinner because I refuse to feed him – or anyone else.

September 29, 2017
3:12 pm
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crispenclean
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 669
Snarking Since:
February 13, 2014

limblessa meowed
Just me or can anyone else not use the word "we" for a year because whichever professional writer typed their catering story used it 8,249,642 f*cking times?

Dear god, it was like being locked in an echo chamber. Appropriate. 

I wanted to do a parody of it, but I got exhausted after the first sentence. But that's typical of her writing—not only the repetitiveness, but the laziness. There are plenty of ways to have edited the info without saying "we" in every sentence. She probably would've preferred to just say "I-I-I" ten thousand times, but she had to include Danny Boy, since he'll be doing a lot of the cheffing. I guess?

But I can barely read her stuff because of the comma overuse. I made this paragraph even more Shaunaesque for us:

We make it easy, for you. We talk, with you, about your event, your budget, and the food you love. Then, we create, a menu, you love. And, we cook it, in your kitchen. We, even, do the dishes! You eat well, and enjoy yourselves.

Does anybody remember that old Peanuts strip when Sally Brown, Charlie's little sister, learns about commas in school? And every sentence was like: Today, I, learned, about, commas.

I tried to find it but the online machine wasn't being my friend about it.

September 29, 2017
4:51 pm
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SnarkaliciousPork
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1425
Snarking Since:
July 1, 2015

Image result for peanuts sally brown comma

September 30, 2017
5:07 am
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Flyest B***h at Stilts Camp
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1444
Snarking Since:
April 28, 2013

Another repository of her writing, from 2005
http://seattle.metblogs.com/author/sea_shauna/
Don't miss riveting entries like this one.

"coffee shop conversation

I have to share the conversation I just overheard, between the two young women making the coffee at my favorite local shop:

Girl One: “You have the most amazing hair.”

(For the record, it was red, bedraggled, and pulled up into a ponytail.)

Girl Two: “Thank you. You know I just jammed it up into a rubber band this morning…”

Girl One: ” I know, but it still looks amazing. You know, some people just have this thing. Their hair, no matter what they do, looks great.”

Girl Two: “I know. I feel blessed.”

Girl One: “You really should cherish that. It’s a gift.”

Girl Two: “I know. Believe me, I’m grateful every day.”

I’m sure the Dalai Lama would be proud of their gift for awareness and gratitude.

Is this what we’ve come to in Seattle?

Posted by sea_shauna on December 28, 2005."

September 30, 2017
6:15 am
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dollop
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1260
Snarking Since:
March 8, 2012

The real scandal is that she posted about her cancer scare immediately after she heard of Julia Louis-Dreyfus. The first thing that came to Shaun's narcissist mind was that Dreyfus has better insurance than Shaun herself. She is awful.

 

The chronolgy:

 

 

 

September 30, 2017
7:57 am
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 7413
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

champagne mami meowed

am i an idiot or does the "foodswaps" service sound particularly…unfeasible? she plans on buying all the groceries for, bringing cooking utensils, etc for (presumably) 4-5 guests, and EVERY person is gonna go home with enough of every dish to feed 4-6 people. that's… a lot of food? in general it sounds like she's promising a lot she absolutely will not be able to deliver on. deja frickn vu…

So… She wants to recreate a concept like Dream Dinners or Let's Dish? Only instead of being an a storefront with a commercial kitchen set up for small groups, she's going to do this in a client's home kitchen?

Okay, then… rolleyes

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2008/02/20/business/businessspecial2/20dinner.html?referer=

Maybe it's just me but I think they are offering too much at once. In-home private cheffing and meal planning/prep services and catering. With TWO people dead

September 30, 2017
9:50 am
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Ahern Allergy Empire
Hamcat
Meows: 184
Snarking Since:
June 12, 2014

What's with these two and dips? First, I don't need a chef to show me how to make a dip. Second, dips aren't exactly a cornerstone of my diet. It's such a weird selling point. I don't think busy families are sitting around saying "you know what would make my meals easier? Dip."

Most recent Instagram includes gloaming. Ay God.

September 30, 2017
10:03 am
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castaway
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2017
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2013

tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass meowed

champagne mami meowed

am i an idiot or does the "foodswaps" service sound particularly…unfeasible? she plans on buying all the groceries for, bringing cooking utensils, etc for (presumably) 4-5 guests, and EVERY person is gonna go home with enough of every dish to feed 4-6 people. that's… a lot of food? in general it sounds like she's promising a lot she absolutely will not be able to deliver on. deja frickn vu…

So… She wants to recreate a concept like Dream Dinners or Let's Dish? Only instead of being an a storefront with a commercial kitchen set up for small groups, she's going to do this in a client's home kitchen?

Okay, then… rolleyes

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2008/02/20/business/businessspecial2/20dinner.html?referer=

Maybe it's just me but I think they are offering too much at once. In-home private cheffing and meal planning/prep services and catering. With TWO people dead

Realistically, the flour business would have been a lot or even too much for two very dedicated people working at it as a full time job. They would have had to send out all the kickstarter purchases (they barely did this, it wasn't timely, the packaging was terrible and everyone's crap was crushed, they didn't fulfill all orders, everyone ended up mad and resentful rather than excited about the flour). They would have had to set up a usable online retail shop (theirs didn't work). They would have had to market it to local stores who would use the 'locally made' aspect to sell something so expensive (no idea if they did this). They would have had to give out a lot of boxes for free to advertise it and generate excitement (nope). A companion baking cookbook would have worked out well with this as an advertisement and to add to their brand (nope). So while that business failed dismally, I blame most of that failure on their inability to construct or follow a business plan. They half assed everything. They planned for nothing. Even if they felt they were working hard it was destined to fail (and I don't believe they worked all that hard). 

This latest scheme is the same – I know a woman who has a local catering company. She works her ASS off, the entire family is involved in it, the husband was also an independent contractor in construction and they needed his income for years as her catering company grew. She does a lot of public outreach here, partners with local 'pick your own' farms to use their food and also hosts buffet nights on the grounds of the local farms to showcase her recipes and the farm's produce, talks in primary schools about healthy eating, does some work with local school lunches to get more vegetables and local foods into school lunches – it's just a well-rounded business. I'm not close enough to ask about the financials but my guess is a lot of her work (public schools etc) doesn't pay for itself, but is something she really believes in. I just saw a refrigerated truck with their business name on it recently and I'm cheering for them, they must be really growing! And we live in a very small, seasonal seaside town as well.   

I think if Shauna and Danny wanted to make a catering business work on Vashon and be all-things to all-people they need an effing business plan. A realistic one with a 'bread and butter' income source, then slowly augment it with good advertising and outreach. They already have name recognition and they do nothing with it. They have contacts to the cookbook publishing world and haven't used it at all in their cooking businesses. They need a business manager or even just some solid advice they're willing to take. They likely need a small business loan. They need to work 7 days a week. They need hired help.  This insane 'cook for 30+ people in a private kitchen' is the result of poor planning skills – the same ones that have tanked every other business they've ever tried. I cannot believe no one has ever had a come to jesus talk with them about this. 

September 30, 2017
10:46 am
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1118
Snarking Since:
August 21, 2015

dollop meowed
The real scandal is that she posted about her cancer scare immediately after she heard of Julia Louis-Dreyfus. The first thing that came to Shaun's narcissist mind was that Dreyfus has better insurance than Shaun herself. She is awful.

 

The chronolgy:

 

 

 

She is so disgusting. Especially since she quit a job with healthcare. The thing I hate about her the most is that she makes the things I care about appear small minded and frivolous. She's the ultimate anti universal healthcare bogeyman because she willingly gave up her healthcare and now complains about not having universal healthcare. It's just… 

September 30, 2017
11:41 am
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castaway
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2017
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2013

^^^ This, and the sick way she's co-opting JLD's cancer revelation by insisting that she too 'almost' had cancer, going so far as to tweet to someone that she had to wait two months for an MRI on "a malignancy" (no malignancy) because she "switched insurance" (quit her job mid-cancer testing). Meanwhile I have family members – I'm sure most of us here do – who are genuinely fighting cancer and genuinely fighting insurance companies to help save their lives. Family members who are working at 9-5 jobs while getting cancer treatments because they don't want to lose their insurance or their jobs.

Meanwhile Shauna doesn't give a crap about her health, nor keeping insurance, nor her family finances, and doesn't have cancer, but is spewing tweets as if she too is a victim. Even worse off than JLD, who HAS CANCER. f*** this egomaniac. 

September 30, 2017
1:01 pm
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Black Tie Qualifications
Hamcat
Meows: 98
Snarking Since:
August 22, 2017

Shauna kicks off her latest IG with a martyr sigh, "I don't have the chance to eat In restaurants very often anymore", proceeds to be fed "in the gloaming" and ends on a faux-noble note as she and her friend "laughed and laughed and laughed".





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