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Gluten Free Girl
November 14, 2017
2:53 pm
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Amanda Hugginkiss
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1355
Snarking Since:
January 17, 2013

Where are these alternative versions of her story, her personal Facebook?  How many versions are we up to?  One:  purse stolen.  Two:  only key was in purse  Three:  Really had another key at home.  

November 14, 2017
4:28 pm
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the smell of sanctimony in the morning
Hamcat
Meows: 103
Snarking Since:
May 7, 2015

The next incarnation of her story will have Desmond giving the purse away.

November 14, 2017
5:38 pm
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cara cara blood peewee heirloom tangeriños
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2039
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2013

And what's with the brave attempt at a good attitude before anything is even stolen? They are poor and this is their business – someone was actually willing to pay these two for putting mayonnaise on quinoa! A customer! If you publicly publish half assed nonworking and frankly gross recipes of mush and sauce every day, a sucker of a customer should be cause for celebration. Yet they arrive reluctantly, 'with the best attitude we could'. Man these guys really resent having to work.  

Now we know that earlier, allegedly, Desmond "hid" the car keys. Okay, let's say that's true, and rather than tear the house apart looking for them, they'll just use the spare key for the day. Fast forward, the purse is stolen with the spare key inside it. The cooking stuff has been unloaded into the kitchen for Danny to get started (she discovers the purse theft in the final sweep of the car).

Shauna spends 15 minutes coming to terms with the theft and finding forgiveness for the thieves (a genuinely good attitude for purse theft, unlike the 'best we could' attitude for work) and allegedly calling the police, who do not file a report. Knowing they cannot drive Car #1 without the key, and Danny at this point in the kitchen making cartoon noises and kale/mayo dishes, Shauna does NOT for some reason drive Car #2 home, find the keys, return to the venue with the keys and change cars, stop at the police station to see if anyone has found the remains of her ditched purse so she doesn't have to get a new license.

Instead, she stays all day to supervise the loaves and fishes, makes the kids play in the church play room, and publicly announce over their business instagram that Danny in fact couldn't have done this cooking job by himself in the first place. Wow I'd hire him after that ringing endorsement! It's like God himself engineered her purse theft, just to ensure the Unitarians all got a serving of mayo.   

Next, they go home and leave their car in the very parking lot where the thief struck! Fully expecting it to be stolen. I guess that's easier than going home and getting the keys. Was she disappointed that the car was still there? Would sharing a second car theft story finally net her the freebie computer she's begging for? Alas, the car is still there. They were shocked, apparently already eager to forgive the car thief as well. 

Makes sense.

November 14, 2017
6:34 pm
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Kid-free Blocks of Time
Hamcat
Meows: 171
Snarking Since:
August 22, 2017

castaway meowed

Shauna spends 15 minutes coming to terms with the theft and finding forgiveness for the thieves (a genuinely good attitude for purse theft, unlike the 'best we could' attitude for work) and allegedly calling the police, who do not file a report. Knowing they cannot drive Car #1 without the key, and Danny at this point in the kitchen making cartoon noises and kale/mayo dishes, Shauna does NOT for some reason drive Car #2 home, find the keys, return to the venue with the keys and change cars, stop at the police station to see if anyone has found the remains of her ditched purse so she doesn't have to get a new license.

Instead, she stays all day to supervise the loaves and fishes, makes the kids play in the church play room, and publicly announce over their business instagram that Danny in fact couldn't have done this cooking job by himself in the first place. Wow I'd hire him after that ringing endorsement! It's like God himself engineered her purse theft, just to ensure the Unitarians all got a serving of mayo.   

Next, they go home and leave their car in the very parking lot where the thief struck! Fully expecting it to be stolen. I guess that's easier than going home and getting the keys. Was she disappointed that the car was still there? Would sharing a second car theft story finally net her the freebie computer she's begging for? Alas, the car is still there. They were shocked, apparently already eager to forgive the car thief as well. 

Makes sense.

She also said that after she found her phone, digested the news, called the bank, told the kids, and talked to the police, she then "rounded up the kids for an afternoon at the Children's Museum".

After that, they returned to the church where the kids played in the toy room and she helped Danny cook.

If he was catering the big fundraiser at the church that night, it started at 5:30.  It seems like a lot to have worked in even a quick trip to the Children's Museum in the midst of all of the chaos.

November 14, 2017
7:02 pm
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Doesn't Understand Latkes
Hamcat
Meows: 111
Snarking Since:
June 26, 2017

Any news on the "stomach flu" outbreak in Tacoma?

Certainly, Danny must be doing some of the prep-work for his catering gigs at home.  If the food is not all gluten-free, is Shauna now allowing the dreaded plutonium in her house?  A few of her InstantPot recipes contained flour.  Things that make you go "hmmm?"

November 15, 2017
1:34 am
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Pontica Tottos
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 301
Snarking Since:
February 2, 2017

"Danny at this point in the kitchen making cartoon noises and kale/mayo dishes."

smiley-laughing004smiley-laughing004smiley-laughing004smiley-laughing004

That's hilarious–you're killing me!

November 15, 2017
5:47 am
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wahooti
Cat
Meows: 15
Snarking Since:
December 17, 2013

I rarely comment on any of the GOMI forums I read – it’s just her novella on the latest Instagram post made me so mad! I can’t pinpoint why she’s finally broken me with that one post. She’s so lazy, so entitled and manages to make all food sound revolting!

November 15, 2017
7:35 am
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Flyest B***h at Stilts Camp
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1452
Snarking Since:
April 28, 2013

"I could write page after page about how much I love my husband but we're both too tired for me to write much. Today, he spent from 9:30 am to 8:45 pm at a restaurant kitchen on Vashon, cooking. We've been volunteering and helping in any way we can for our local food bank. 1 out of 9 people on Vashon use the food bank, at least once a year. There is so much hunger in this country. It's unconscionable to us. We do what we can. .

So our food bank won a small grant to hold a feast for their customers, as a thank you and a forum for asking questions and getting feedback. Danny and I planned the menu, shopped, and prepped. Mostly, he cooked. And cooked. And cooked. He was happy, music blaring, chicken thighs braising, 8 burners on the stove going at once. And he helped put out the food, then he did the dishes. We did it for free, of course. This shouldn't be a moneymaker for us.
.
But the love. The good feeling. The joy in his eyes when an older woman told him this was the first restaurant meal she has enjoyed in a decade. It was a good day.
.
Tomorrow, he's taking the entire day off."

She took no money, of course. Always giving, that one. And how do you take the day off when you're unemployed?

November 15, 2017
8:00 am
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Farts and Cat Hair
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 426
Snarking Since:
September 8, 2016

Flyest B***h at Stilts Camp meowed
"I could write page after page about how much I love my husband but we're both too tired for me to write much. Today, he spent from 9:30 am to 8:45 pm at a restaurant kitchen on Vashon, cooking. We've been volunteering and helping in any way we can for our local food bank. 1 out of 9 people on Vashon use the food bank, at least once a year. There is so much hunger in this country. It's unconscionable to us. We do what we can. .

So our food bank won a small grant to hold a feast for their customers, as a thank you and a forum for asking questions and getting feedback. Danny and I planned the menu, shopped, and prepped. Mostly, he cooked. And cooked. And cooked. He was happy, music blaring, chicken thighs braising, 8 burners on the stove going at once. And he helped put out the food, then he did the dishes. We did it for free, of course. This shouldn't be a moneymaker for us.
.
But the love. The good feeling. The joy in his eyes when an older woman told him this was the first restaurant meal she has enjoyed in a decade. It was a good day.
.
Tomorrow, he's taking the entire day off."

She took no money, of course. Always giving, that one. And how do you take the day off when you're unemployed?

She really does suck at everything.  She can't even humble brag properly.  #humblebragfail

And good lord, if anyone should be having a day off it's Derpy.  Didn't he just have abdominal surgery less than a month ago?  Now Shauna, her whole life has been a day off so she can just suck a chicken thigh.  

November 15, 2017
8:34 am
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Doesn't Understand Latkes
Hamcat
Meows: 111
Snarking Since:
June 26, 2017

Could you imagine your “first restaurant meal in a decade” being cooked by Danny? That’s just not fair.

November 15, 2017
9:23 am
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Candace Started the Fire
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 520
Snarking Since:
May 5, 2014

@castaway, lolclap

This broad is really getting on my nerves lately. The food bank post, ay God. Get off the cross, Shaun, we need the wood.

November 15, 2017
9:33 am
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Porking Myself Into a Stroke
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1239
Snarking Since:
March 21, 2013

Remember, all: Desmond is Black (didn't you know?). He stole the purse! snarkpolice

November 15, 2017
10:06 am
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cara cara blood peewee heirloom tangeriños
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2039
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2013

Sorry, too tired to write about how much I love my husband. But never too tired to tell you all about how selfless and giving we are! The Poor and The Blacks love us. All the poor people cried in joy at our sacrifice, and then I used their tears to wash their feet. No no, please don't worship me because I'm o giving, eriouly – — orry, a letter key tumbled off my decrepit, aging laptop keyboard… then De mond tole it… we are too poor to afford more de pite all we do for other … no no, don't  end me a new one. I can urvive… omehow… #weforgiveyouforbeing$elfish #unlikeu$  #$acrificeforthepoor #Jame$Blackaward #Beard$on 





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