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Gluten Free Girl
December 7, 2017
1:12 pm
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Whiskerpatrol
Kitten
Meows: 10
Snarking Since:
February 26, 2014

Pontica Tottos meowed

Whiskerpatrol meowed 
Totally not a WK for our miss Sauna but I'm from Boston and "parlor" is pretty common here in place of what everyone else calls a living room. True, it's more of a word your nana might use (along with 'tonic' in place of soda).

But not a pretentious snob thing either. If Sauna is originally from the East Coast.

Does anyone else use this word?

Nah, she's from California if I remember correctly. 

Thanks, Pontica! Then I definitely call bullshlt.

December 7, 2017
1:16 pm
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Bacon in Beans at Restaurants
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2658
Snarking Since:
November 10, 2013

recluse, I too had a good snicker over her not even understanding the basic premise of soaking raw nuts. And then wanting to add fish sauce to it! I dunno, Shaun–isn't fish sauce "soggy?" Like soaked nuts? rolleyes

Well, I doubt she's going to go all raw-foodist on us anyway. Can you imagine? She'd be stuck eating raw, fresh fruits and vegetables, with nary a morsel of pork product to be had anywhere. Our porcine little principessa could never survive a day without pork. She'd collapse after 3 hours without it; they'd have to give her a hot lard IV to revive her.

LOLs forever how she stoutly resolves to "play" with her vegan Parm. Next thing you know she'll be adding whirled sweet potatoes and pickled beets to it.

December 7, 2017
1:24 pm
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I LOVE YOU DENNIS WEAVER!
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 8911
Snarking Since:
November 13, 2013

Bacon in Beans at Restaurants meowed
recluse, I too had a good snicker over her not even understanding the basic premise of soaking raw nuts. And then wanting to add fish sauce to it! I dunno, Shaun–isn't fish sauce "soggy?" Like soaked nutsrolleyes

Well, I doubt she's going to go all raw-foodist on us anyway. Can you imagine? She'd be stuck eating raw, fresh fruits and vegetables, with nary a morsel of pork product to be had anywhere. Our porcine little principessa could never survive a day without pork. She'd collapse after 3 hours without it; they'd have to give her a hot lard IV to revive her.

LOLs forever how she stoutly resolves to "play" with her vegan Parm. Next thing you know she'll be adding whirled sweet potatoes and pickled beets to it.

One of my friends recently began eliminating dairy from her diet (no allergy, it was just suggested that removing animal products might help her immune disorder) so she and I and some other friends are constantly 13 year-olding it and chuckling at things like "nut milk". I read the bolded above and literally almost spit my drink out.

December 7, 2017
1:24 pm
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Candace Started the Fire
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 558
Snarking Since:
May 5, 2014

This isn't new, but I absolutely hate the way she writes recipes. Can you imagine if someone wrote any other instructional piece that way? Her driving directions are probably, "Get in line for the ferry. Breathlessly (but wordlessly, because brown people language barrier) appreciate the crisp, shattery tacos in line while you wait. Once on the island, swirl dancing among the bi-annual misfit parade, grasp for the splattery vegan ice cream made by our dear friends, and follow the gloaming to our spruced up parlor."

December 9, 2017
1:12 pm
Betty Cruikshank
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1424
Snarking Since:
October 31, 2013

https://www.instagram.com/p/BceMHEZlJJ1/?hl=en&taken-by=glutenfreegirl

"Watching Lucy dance reminds me of watching Danny cook. He glides in the kitchen, touching everything lightly. His movements are graceful." I don't know why but I can't stop laughing over this! He's the Fred Astaire of cooking, you guys!

And then this: "This afternoon, he took some leftover sausages and shredded braised pork, heated them in pork stock, and added lots of fresh ginger. He added some tomatoes leftover. He shredded kale and added it to a bowl, then circled it with tamari, fish sauce, and sriracha. He plopped hot gluten-free ramen noodles on top, then the meat and stock."

Where to begin? Sausages, braised pork, and pork stock. Good lord. And what in the hell are "tomatoes leftover?" Are Tomatoes Leftover a 1950s recipe that the old woman in her church gave her on an index card? Shauna, just say tomatoes. Your obsession with letting your readers know what has been sitting in your fridge for a few days is downright weird.

And stop with the CIRCLING and PLOPPING. Just . . . stop. (Or don't, because it's effing hilarious.)

December 9, 2017
2:26 pm
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wrappedinplastic
Hamcat
Meows: 55
Snarking Since:
January 6, 2017

the_recluse meowed
She thinks soaking cashews for vegan parmesean will make them soggy.
lmao

Oh Shauna. Please never heed your own advice and google anything while delving into vegan cooking. This is too funny.

Uh, you don't soak cashews for vegan parm, Shauna.  You do for vegan ricotta, but not for vegan parm.  Another very simple recipe she's going to mess up and make disgusting? Or should that be, "grow" disgusting.

December 9, 2017
2:30 pm
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wrappedinplastic
Hamcat
Meows: 55
Snarking Since:
January 6, 2017

wrappedinplastic meowed

the_recluse meowed
She thinks soaking cashews for vegan parmesean will make them soggy.
lmao

Oh Shauna. Please never heed your own advice and google anything while delving into vegan cooking. This is too funny.

Uh, you don't soak cashews for vegan parm, Shauna.  You do for vegan ricotta, but not for vegan parm.  Another very simple recipe she's going to mess up and make disgusting? Or should that be, "grow" disgusting.

Wait, disregard my last comment.  I read that wrong.  She did *not* soak the cashews for the parm.

December 9, 2017
4:18 pm
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Bacon in Beans at Restaurants
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2658
Snarking Since:
November 10, 2013

It truly disgusts me that she's co-opting Lucy's Nutcracker experience for herself.  God forbid, Shaun, that you should EVER allow that girl to shine on her own. It would KILL you to have to compliment her for looking pretty in her well-fitting costume, her professionally applied makeup, her golden slippers. Oh no. Can't let her be more than you, now can you?

Lu's first year wearing her hair up (she's wanted her hair long forever, and this is the first year you haven't practically shaved her head out of spite) and all you can do is coo and ahh over yourself: 

"Ooh, lipstick–see what I'm wearing? Makeup professionally applied, don't I look GOOD?! I simply must change my avatar because PRETTY PRETTY ME!"

"Lu? Oh yeah–hair up with bobby pins. Twirling with others. Meanwhile, I'M ON THE STAGE!!! I not only dance, I ACT. I am so comfortable on the stage, I can't tell you! I'm really VERY good at this, and I'm so glad all of small-town, islandy Vashon is here to see me!"

"I'm so confident in my acting that I can even look at Lu, who is hopping. I cannot call it dancing, not when I compare it the way I grandly waltz onstage with my partner.

"And as I glance at Lu spinning around, I can think only of Danny. Danny, who gracefully, lightly, skillfully, made me pork soup with pork sausages and roast pork and handfuls of ginger and set it before me."

"I feel so lucky to dance so well, every day, for my people. Ah, Nutcracker! What's that? Lu who??"

December 10, 2017
10:54 am
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Holocaust Centers
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1540
Snarking Since:
January 7, 2013

For someone who normally eschews personal hygiene and looks down on women who put themselves together with nice clothes and makeup, she sure is enamored with herself in her new selfie. 

December 10, 2017
11:27 am
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cara cara blood peewee heirloom tangeriños
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2061
Snarking Since:
September 2, 2013

haha could she possibly have talked any more about herself and her 'extensive experience on stage' for her small walk on part in her kid's ballet? Were people supposed to be reading that thinking, "Wow, Shauna came on stage and waggled a finger during her daughter's ballet performance, recently described as the biggest night of the year for Lucy — Shauna must have been nervous supporting her child in that way!" and then Shauna had to reassure everyone that from somewhere, she has acquired so much stage experience in the ballet that she's simply a professional walzer and finger waggler! Wait, Lu who?? Oh, yes, she was also present for my dance.  

Notice who doesn't appear at all in the story. He wasn't even dancing in the aisle? He can't wait until next year when he can dance? She couldn't see his little face and give him a wave from stage? Nope. 

December 10, 2017
11:45 am
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Supertina
Hamcat
Meows: 87
Snarking Since:
February 25, 2017

Betty Cruikshank meowed

And stop with the CIRCLING and PLOPPING. Just . . . stop. (Or don't, because it's effing hilarious.)

Your wish has been granted by the Pork Queen! From her pancake post today: "If I can convince you of anything with pancakes, let it be this: separate your eggs. Plop the yolks into a bowl with melted butter or oil and buttermilk."

December 10, 2017
1:22 pm
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Incontinentia Buttockus
Cat
Meows: 20
Snarking Since:
October 7, 2017

“Sometimes, the inside of my mind is a chemistry experiment.”

We know, Shauna. We know. smiley-laughing004

December 10, 2017
1:22 pm
avatar
Incontinentia Buttockus
Cat
Meows: 20
Snarking Since:
October 7, 2017

“Sometimes, the inside of my mind is a chemistry experiment.”

We know, Shauna. We know. smiley-laughing004





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