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Eric Hites / Fat Guy Across America / FGAA
January 11, 2017
7:09 am
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2far4u
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1993
Snarking Since:
December 22, 2015

bkn3rd meowed

Looks like we are finally getting a reboot!!!!!111 (of the 30 day boot camp, diet wise)

What a joke. So he has basically been eating whatever the heck he likes and now he is only cutting out sugar for 30days and still not really watching what he eats.

Of course the sponsor thing is just about set and he is almost ready to hit the road.

So many obvious lies, and so little actual effort… Does anyone actually believe any of this?

January 11, 2017
8:03 am
RanchoRelaxo
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 898
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2014

Not buying any of this. How many times has he said "I am going to…." and has never done what he says he will do? He has been claiming he has been "eating clean" for 7 months now, aside from when he "treats himself." Who the hell does he think he is fooling? Even if he has been avoiding lie feeds that will show how enormous he is and how labored his breathing is, he has been doing his stupid cooking videos that show the same thing!

Right…the only sugar he eats is in his tea and coffee. He has been downing 2 liter bottles of soda on the daily. There is no such thing as "random slices of cake" — what even is that? If stuff like baked goods (cookies, cake, brownies) are your downfall, don't have them around. Are we supposed to feel bad for him because "it may be harder on his family" — no way, no how. Eric is choosing to live with his parents (utterly pathetic at age 40 plus) and his parents are enabling him by allowing it. My kids are young, but I have already told them that if they need to move back in for financial reasons there will be rules such as a time limit set (i.e. 3 months) and they need to be working and paying some sort of rent. My SIL pulled the same sort of crap with my in laws in her late 30's and my MIL thought it was "fine" since SIL did some chores around the house. Um…no. My FIL thought it was disgusting and it really strained that relationship.

Now, let's look at the comments –

Michael D XX: How much weight have you lost so far?

FGAA: I have been up and down still fighting. Not where I want to be for sure.

But, but….I thought he did not care about the scale and this wasn't about weight loss. Pick a narrative and stay with it!

Jo X: Any word on the sponsor?

FGAA: Almost done, they told me it's a matter of days. we will see fingers crossed sure hope so, I want to get back at it.

David XX: Been following you for a long time…When will you be back on the bike trip, or is that over?

FGAA: It is not over, heading back out shortly.

He is still going with the "any day now" answer. Does he realize that this is looking less and less likely every time he says it?

And if he is indeed getting back on the road "any day now" — why make any 30 day plans? He hurts my brain. Mary agrees with me –

Mary XX: When will u start the 2nd half of the trip. Not for another 30 days?

Allen XX: You should try cycling..I've heard that's a really good way to loose weight and get healthy. I know,,crazy talk. Never mind.

Good burn Allen. 

All Eric is doing is putting on some kind of display to show that he is "trying" — and to deflect from the fact that he burned through 20K + of other people's money and products. He still has "I will be riding a bicycle from east coast to west coast" on his page and his ass hasn't seen a bicycle seat since September. This is how he is going to try and continue this farce? By pledging some sort of diet change every few weeks?  

January 11, 2017
8:12 am
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 7413
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

He clearly hasn't tried to do anything to improve his health or financial situation since he and Angie high-tailed it back to Indiana.

We saw the kuhlflahwer pizza video — he is as big as ever. Did you see his fat hands? I'm not trying to pick on the guy. He looks swollen and sickly and just awful others-221 He looks like a tick about to pop.

He is in for a world of hurt the first time he gets his bike on the road. Or if, because I think we saw one Angie manufactured health crisis away from an indefinite hold.

January 11, 2017
9:37 am
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Lard Gargler
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 990
Snarking Since:
June 29, 2016

tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass meowed
We saw the kuhlflahwer pizza video — he is as big as ever. Did you see his fat hands? I'm not trying to pick on the guy. He looks swollen and sickly and just awful others-221 He looks like a tick about to pop.

Seriously, I saw his hands and thought that he has to have some sort of severe medical condition.  Someone suggested retaining water due to diabetes or something… but his hands looked so incredibly swollen that if mine looked like that I'd be getting to a doctor posthaste.  I kept thinking of that line from Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb:  "My hands felt just like two balloons."  Eric's hands definitely looked like two balloons in that video.

FFS, Eric, if you do nothing else, start taking care of your health before you croak.  I don't know what it would take for Eric to start valuing his health, but having one foot in the grave ought to make most people sit up and take notice.

January 11, 2017
9:46 am
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Bikesandtalksimultaneously
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2482
Snarking Since:
October 21, 2015

Yea, publish it on Facebook so you are "accountable", because that worked so well for the quitting smoking. What a joke. He claims diabetes so should have cut out raw sugar a long time ago. Do gas station tacquitos have sugar?

They are a couple of wannabe millenials.

January 11, 2017
9:52 am
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Lounge Lizard Larry Landsman
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1178
Snarking Since:
November 17, 2015

Fat guy keeps mumbling in his sleep – something about '2 weeks…2 weeks'…
The bloated munchkin wants me to sleep in bed next to her but I'm afraid one of them might roll over on me.

January 11, 2017
10:42 am
RanchoRelaxo
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 898
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2014

He is already deleting. He seems to have blocked his newest truth teller, Bru who made a comment along the lines of she doesn't see him getting on the road until 2018. Girl, that was a generous estimate!

He is all talk. He needs to face some real truths, he is not just insulin resistant — he is deep in type 2 diabetes and has been for a while now. He is not going to make any changes. Why bother? He can keep bumbling along, let his parents pay for his food and lodging and use a hospital for healthcare. Even when and if he has a heart attack or kidney failure he won't do what is necessary as far as making changes.

January 11, 2017
12:15 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4125
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

So Honest Angie made him announce a 30 day sugar free fail project for the sake of "public accountability." Like how she announced her smoke free fail for the sake of public accountability? LIKE THAT? Ain't heard SHIT about that from Virginia Slim since before December.
Remember, Eric- Failure doesn't happen overnight. It's a journey.

 

Michael D XX: How much weight have you lost so far?

 

Zero. Eric has lost ZERO pounds in 19 months, Michael. Zero.

 

FGAA: Almost done, they told me it's a matter of days. we will see fingers crossed sure hope so, I want to get back at it.

 

"Ten days, maybe as little as four days, two weeks tops!"- Eric Hites, September 2016

January 11, 2017
12:40 pm
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here for the duratio

This is seriously getting painful to watch. It's not even fun anymore, it is just beyond pitiful. 

I love how he talks about being "accountable," just like he's been accountable for every other stupid f'ing thing that comes out of his mouth?!? And when people bring up accountability, well, how f'ing dare they.

Eric, just go away quietly and no one will notice. Revert to 1/3 meat and 2/3 vedge and you'll be a delicate ballerina before you know it. Then, you can come back and show all of us ahole's a thing or 2 and we'll feel like the fools we really are.

go_away

January 11, 2017
1:44 pm
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Mayor Goldie Wilson
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 467
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2016

So let me get this straight. A guy who thinks a pizza is magically healthy because it has cauliflower in it is going to cut ALL sugar out of his diet?

Right.

I wonder what he thinks a sugar free diet looks like. He is so ignorant when it comes to nutrition. There is nooooo f'ing way he's going to do this correctly. If he actually does, his weight will drop like crazy and it will be noticeable… more than his ears will look smaller.

Lol at all the suggestions in the comments.
Stevia! Raw sugar! Local honey!

Dafuq? He said he was going sugar free, ya dum-dums.

And huge lol at Dr. Oz books! Now I see why he still has followers. others-221

January 11, 2017
2:26 pm
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Bikesandtalksimultaneously
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2482
Snarking Since:
October 21, 2015

He pretty much defined it for us. "Not eating the random piece of cake".

January 11, 2017
3:02 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4125
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

Eric thinks sugar free looks like pasta and refined carbs. A hamburger and fries are meat and veg, right?

I mean, how many sweets is he eating/drinking in 30 days that it's some big damn deal that warrants a public announcement? And what will he do for treats? TREATS HE IS DEPRIVING HIMSELF OF TREATS HE WOULD RATHER BE FAT THAN BE DEPRIVED OF TREATS cry

January 11, 2017
3:38 pm
RanchoRelaxo
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 898
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2014

The key word in Eric's latest new plan is "try." Let's take a look at everything he has tried thus far:

- Ride a bicycle from east coast to west coast.

- Fit with Fat Guy/BeachBody/Shakeology crap.

- Ride his bike 4-5 days a week.

- Have 100 mile weeks.

- (Thinking about) doing a cleanse.

- Get his bike chain and derailer fixed.

- Get the water pump and brakes in the RV fixed.

- Make black out curtains for the RV. Break down the wall/dresser and place a platform for a larger bed. Paint the top of the RV with reflective paint.

- Go to the gym every day (excluding weekends implied) for 30 days. Ride his bike back and forth to the gym.

- Get his teeth fixed.

- Bring his dog to the gosh darn vet.

- Third party weigh in.

- Quit smoking.

- Eat clean.

- Live feed every week. No, every 2 weeks. Make that every week. No, he is sick.

- Workout videos.

- Get back on the road soon/ Get back on the road in 2 weeks.

- Self support his ride.

- Print out 20 or so buuks so he can sell them on the road.

- Last gasp 50 mile emotional manipulation bike ride because his mean trainer "forbid" him from riding his bike for 30 days.

- Properly thank the companies that gave him FREE product (his bike, Spot, Personal Trainer Foods, the jerky place, Destination XL).

- Properly thank people who gave him money towards his 15 month trek from MA to PA and then from FL to TX. 

- Replace his DJ equipment so that he can get gigs. Dontcha know that he can earn more doing DJ gigs than getting a minimum wage job.

- Church on Sundays.

- Stop drinking soda.

 

Feel free to add to this list. These are all things Eric has said he will do/try/is working on. All epic fails.





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