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Eric Hites / Fat Guy Across America / FGAA
October 7, 2017
7:24 pm
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That Napping Nitwit
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1720
Snarking Since:
March 17, 2014

He claims he does jumping jacks and squats! Maybe he can be a trainer/coach to Mermaid Jess! He also claims he rides 5 to 10 miles a day. WTF!

October 7, 2017
7:30 pm
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 7413
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

Jumping jacks at nearly 600 lbs?

Sure, Eric others-221

October 7, 2017
7:40 pm
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That Napping Nitwit
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1720
Snarking Since:
March 17, 2014

What’s the significance of Dallas? He says his crew will meet him on the road and drive him to Texas?

October 7, 2017
7:41 pm
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My Mom Says Im Cool
Hamcat
Meows: 198
Snarking Since:
September 5, 2015

That Napping Nitwit meowed

What’s the significance of Dallas? He says his crew will meet him on the road and drive him to Texas?

It's where he left off

October 7, 2017
7:49 pm
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fishingjts
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1595
Snarking Since:
October 15, 2015

Eric’s own recap… all I can say is liar liar… how does his pants not spontaneously combust?

FGAA:
Well folks, for those not able to watch the video, i am leaving this week on my bicycle and riding south until my sponser gets organized and us ready to leave. Once they are ready they will pick me up and deliver me to Dallas where i will continue my ride. Being at home.was a huge mistake, it was too comfortable and im back up to 582. So my first few weeks will be rough. As i said before, if they dont get their act together by September i was gonna lose it, i did and now im going to be rolling again. Yes they are still my sponsor and will joining me soon. They will just have to catch up to me now

October 7, 2017
7:55 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4125
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

LIE FEED RECAP 10/7/2017: SPONSORED BY MOM- WEATHER PERMITTING

-HELLO
-Waiting for people
-HI DORIS!
-Guess you wanna know what he has to say
-Still has a sponsor
-No worries
-Said he will tear a new butt hole
-He did tear a new butthole
-But he still has a sponsor
-He is not doing as well as he should be
-This week
-Will be back on the road
-Heading south to Dallas
-And the crew will catch up
-Angie will drive and pick him up
-He will pull a trailer
-Eventually the crew will pick him up
-Then he will go west
-He is going to Dallas by himself
-Medical
-Been checked out
-Needs scrips
-Will be using a tent
-Tent, sofa, hotel
-Just a place to sleep
-Hoping for panniers to be installed
-HA!
-Anyway yeah
-On the road net week
-Still has a sponsor
-But he is not waiting
-Sponsor can catch up
-On the road
-Next week
-Tues or Weds
-So
-He has been wanting to leave for a while
-SO YEAH
-Ordering panniers
-People who ride for charity aren't 500 pounds
-JUST SO YA KNOW
-He will use Strava
-Other news is
-He did not do well at home
-He is riding to Dallas
-No
-Heading that way
-Sponsor will pick him up when they get to him
-Front rack
-From Amazon
-Mountain bocks
-Planning to order
-Next week
-Angie is staying behind
-She will continue to work
-When the crew gets their act together
-They will pick him up
-Regular updates
-Tues or Weds
-Weather permitting
-He has a camel back
-Angie is working through things
-Yeah, did not do well at home
-Easy to fall into uhhhh
-UM
-He struggled
-Fighting depression
-And constant harassment
-He is 582
-Not happy
-Did not realize he was that much
-He was riding everyday
-Couple days of week
-Pop
-On and off Pop
-BUT UH
-HI SHIRLEY
-Back on the road next week
-582
-36 to Rockville
-Then to 40
-HAS to finish this
-For him
-He needs to do it
-Is not a quitter
-May not be the best thing
-But he can finish it
-He can do it
-Crystal drinks
-From dollar store
-Pretty good
-Leaving from IN
-Where he lives
-Heading south
-Might take 36 to 65
-Someone will pick him up on his way
-Or not
-Then west
-He is sure he will be picked up
-So they can film him
-He is still smoking
-Chantix
-1 pack/3 days
-Does not like smoking
-When he leaves he will not take smokes
-He is trying
-1 pack/3 days
-If he is busy he does not smoke
-Will go to CO with the crew
-As a side trip
-Crew talked about Dallas
-Then south
-When he gets to Dallas, then he will head south
-Crew needs to get their crap together
-They will pick him up as he heads to Dallas
-Gonna be tough
-Because he does 5-10 mile rides at home
-He cannot tell you who the crew is
-Top secret
-They can catch up
-He will see Austin
-And Stevie Ray Vaughn
-Angie has not decided if she will go back out
-Gastric bypass
-They need to let her go by phone
-For gastric bypass
-If not
-Then she will stay
-He knows what is delaying the crew
-They will pick him up in the next month
-He will get picked up by Dallas
-Dallas is 900 miles
-Has a sponsor
-They are slow
-Fun fun
-Can't wait to tell you who the sponsor is
-Looking forward to that
-Secret secret
-No GFM
-Not a bunch of sponsor pages
-JUST SO YA KNOW
-He has no donate links left
-Hopes crew gets going soon
-Wants to avoid trailer
-Panniers
-Tent
-Big tent
-And a hiking mattress
-It is like a coffee can
-It is cool
-Sleeping bag
-Coffee can
-Battery banks
-Solar charger
-Will plug in at fast food places
-Can't afford the RV right now
-Crew will pick it up
-Sponsor
-When they film
-The RV
-Unless something else comes through
-He has many cakes in the oven
-He knows the sponsor will come
-Leaving IN to TX
-Riding his bike
-Then the crew will pick him up
-He cannot wait on them
-The crew will have a driver
-And bring the RV
-And their own cars
-Angie or fambily member will drive
-Sponsor want the RV in the filming
-Sponsor is not shady, just slow
-Mom or dad will pick him up every day
-Then bring him back in the morning
-After Terre Haute he will be on his own
-Mom will pick him up for the first week
-He will have his rhythm going
-He has a clean bill of health
-JUST SO YA KNOW
-Heart is healthy
-Will make a t shirt
-But doesn't have the start up money
-Mom will pick him up every night for the first week
-OR TWO
-He is nervous
-The world has changed
-He misses the road
-Tired of being there
-He does 5-10 miles a few times a week
-BUT UH
-He does not know if his wheels and tires will hold up
-Bulletproof rims
-Custom made
-Has not broken a spoke yet
-Not bringing a lot of stuff
-Bare essentials
-Been doing exercises everyday
-Jumping jacks
-Squats
-Peeing dog
-Wall push up
-Crunches
-Leg lifts
-Will use a jump rope
-5 days a week
-Everyday
-He is going to kill it!
-Crew will pick him up
-Then to Houston
-Then west
-He will go to Vegas
-That is sad
-That pushed him to get back on the road
-So you can have something nice to follow
-Fake news
-California bound
-Shirt
-Can't find big shirts
-Team Fat Guy
-On a shirt
-He loves swimming
-If he had a pool he would be skinny
-He will move to where a pool is
-After Cali
-Angie is working on health problems
-And working
-JUST SO YA KNOW
-He is self funding
-He eats meat
-He will be posting a lot now
-He does not watch sports
-He likes science
-Curse of Oak Island
-Hard to cut meat out
-A BABY CRIES
-Or it is a cat
-Cat is screaming
-Went to Indiana State
-He graduated? SINCE WHEN?
-The crew will pick him up
-He is tired of waiting on them
-Going from there
-He is packing lighter is what he is doing different
-Panniers
-Getting used to riding long miles
-It is hilly there
-RV is great!
-Crew will bring the RV
-When they get their shit together
-Can't afford RV gas
-Right now
-Waiting for the sponsor
-They will do a once over on RV
-To make sure it is sound
-Exhaust leak
-They will take care of that
-They have a new truck
-They can sleep in the back
-If he needs a driver, he can use the truck
-He knows what the hold up is with the crew
-Excuses?
-Jackasses
-He HAS been answering question
-Take your head out of your butt hole
-Will go to CO
-The catbaby is crying
-Riding at home is not working for him
-Because it is comfortable
-He will lose the weight
-THIS is the only way
-Angie is shushing the catbaby
-Tues Wed
-CATCH UP
-Medical
-Meds
-He will finish this
-He has to finish this
-For him
-That's his motivation
-If he does not lose the weight on the trip
-He will lose it when he gets home
-If not, then WLS
-If he as to stay in Cali for a while to lose it
-Then he will
-He screwed up being back home
-Wishes he had never come back
-Complete failure
-Back on the road
-Next week
-BUT UH
-He will get going
-He is 582
-VERIFIED
-The doc can prove it
-Who is a loser?
-He plans to be the biggest loser
-He will show street signs
-Working out an eating plan
-With doc and trainer
-Will not post it online
-Will go through Houston
-Crew will pick him up
-He will help out in Houston
-Will pack his lunch every night
-At home
-Then mom will drop him off
-Everyday
-Needs to figure good things to eat from gas stations
-They will film him
-He loves us all
-He will see us in Cali
-He will pedal
-Until crew gets their CRAP together
-Cannot ride at home
-He screwed that up
-Leaving next week

October 7, 2017
8:06 pm
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Damnedifyoudo
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 374
Snarking Since:
June 17, 2013

If there's one thing that sponsors love, it's being talked badly about publicly by people they're supposedly giving money to.

October 7, 2017
8:08 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4125
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

 

 I spy two tortillas – and the edge of some browned cheese BETWEEN the two tortillas. How much you want to bet there's a quesadilla's worth of cheese between those two tortillas? LOW CARB MY ASS.

 

YOU'RE RIGHT LOLOL

 

When Eric had his Medical Mystery in JULY, he said he weighed 567. Now he is  582. He gained 15 pounds since JULY? Jesus! Also, saying he is back up to 587 is very telling.

October 7, 2017
8:12 pm
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LaissezLesBonTempsRouler
Hamcat
Meows: 93
Snarking Since:
August 18, 2014

Dear Lord…how much money have we taxpayers paid for LeoLardo DiCaprio's years worth of Chantix and cigs???  sangry

October 7, 2017
8:16 pm
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Greasy Pawprints
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 345
Snarking Since:
January 1, 2015

Great recap as ever, Mazel! oregonian_winesmiley

October 7, 2017
8:21 pm
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moiag
Cat
Meows: 45
Snarking Since:
July 12, 2016

Wow, it is just painful observing a human being so desperate and delusional and helpless and doomed, complete failure on all fronts and totally down. But it is hard to look away. 

Of course he is not doing jumping jacks or jumping rope. And his delusion that a pool would be a miracle activity option for him "because when he was a kid he loved swimming"… he completely lost any objectivity and rationality. He loves pools because he floats and is less smashed by gravity. That is all about his pool idolization.

It is not a completely crazy his idea to just start riding from home and returning home for in the evening. This gives him a week or two on the road to transition to different way of travelling, to think about it what is doable and what not. However I highly doubt anything is doable for him at this point 🙁

 

How will we feel if/when he dies? It is near, he knows it. His body will give up, or he might give up any day. I suggest to think about it now, so everyone is able to verify how much we know ourselves when his death actually happens – because it is imminent.

October 7, 2017
8:21 pm
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2far4u
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1993
Snarking Since:
December 22, 2015

Thanks for the recap Mazel.

The guy is so full of shit.

Funny, that he said he had to ride because if he walked he'd have stress fractures and now says he has been doing jumping jacks and will be jumping rope.  This despite the fact that he is fatter than ever.

October 7, 2017
8:23 pm
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LaissezLesBonTempsRouler
Hamcat
Meows: 93
Snarking Since:
August 18, 2014

I'm SO thankful to have GOMI so I can vent and my head won't explode!  ERIC HITES, YOU LYING LIAR WHO SCAMS AND TAKES ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE STUPIDER THAN YOU…GO AWAY AND DON'T EVER COME BACK!  YOU HAVE FAILED AT LIFE AND IT'S O-V-E-R!  go_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_awaygo_away





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